Chasing Payne (13 page)

Lora frowned as she pulled her shirt up and surveyed the scar on her stomach. It had healed quickly over the past two weeks thanks to her heightened healing ability. She ran a finger over the four-inch incision mark. A scar to remind her of everything she'd lost—No, everything she'd given up.

Chase still hadn't returned her calls. Not that she was surprised after what she'd done. He'd been put on paid leave while the agency looked into what had happened that night in the cabin. Jacob didn't think the discipline would be too severe since Austin had shot first, but it would likely be a few months before Chase was able to go back to work.

She nibbled on her bottom lip, worrying over him. He'd disappeared before she was released from the medical facility. When she'd spoken to Turner he'd said the last time he'd heard from him, Chase was boarding a plane headed to South America. No one had spoken to him since.

He was angry with her. She'd seen it in his eyes when she'd woken briefly after her surgery. Of course, he was angry. But to get up and leave without a word? It wasn't like him.

She let the fabric drop, and walked out of her bedroom towards the kitchen. Jenna and her mother had stacked her fridge with enough casseroles and lasagna to feed an army. She placed a tray of scalloped potatoes in the microwave and watched mindlessly as it spun around.

Her animal stirred close to the surface, purring in contentment, their connection healed. The past couple of weeks had been a time of self-discovery. When she had shifted, allowed the lioness to emerge, breaking the prison Lora had constructed, something else had happened—she'd merged fully with the lioness. And the consequence had been staggering.

She'd always feared that if she gave in to the animal side of her nature, she would lose herself, but the opposite had happened. It was as if the pieces of herself finally fit into place in perfect harmony. It was bittersweet in a way. She'd given up the only man she'd ever loved, but in doing so, she'd found herself. Despite Austin's intentions, and the physical wounds she had suffered, that night had healed her.

Everything was starting to fall back into place. Jacob was even allowing her to come back to the agency. The only thing missing was Chase. Every moment without him felt lonely and dull.

A knock sounded on the door.

For a breadth of a second, she let herself hope that it was Chase.

Jacob stood on the other side of the door with his hands in his pockets.

Her shoulders drooped but she managed a small smile. “What are you doing here?”

He raised an eyebrow. “It's good to see you too.”

“Sorry. Come in. I'm just heating up one of Ma's casseroles. You hungry?”

“Smells like her famous scalloped potatoes.” He grinned and followed her to the kitchen. “I'd love a plate.”

He sat down at the small kitchen table, while she scooped generous helpings of potatoes on two plates.

“You've been cleared to return to work next week,” he said, as she placed the food in front of him.

“Already?”

“Is that a problem?”

Her stomach pitched. She shook her head and sat down across from him with her plate. This was what she wanted, so why did it feel so wrong? “I didn't think I'd be cleared until Chase…”

Jacob chewed his food and watched her. “I'll be reassigning you a new supervisor.”

Obviously.
“Yeah I figured that.” She poked at her food with her fork, suddenly not hungry. “Have you talked to him?”

“He came back today.”

She dropped her fork. “He's back? Is he…” She licked her lips. “All right?”

“He's still upset.”

Of course he was. He had every reason to be. She looked down at the full plate of potatoes in front of her and exhaled slowly. “Did he…did he ask about me?”

Jacob reached across the table and clasped her hand. “He's hurting, and so are you. You should probably go see him.”

She looked down at their conjoined hands and frowned. “I don't know. He's angry—”

“He cares about you.”

She shook her head and pulled her hand back. “Like a sister. Yeah, I know.”

Jacob snorted. “Trust me, Lora. I've seen the way he looks at you. His feelings are far from brotherly.”

“You don't understand.” She stood, collected their plates, then placed them in the sink. Leaning against the counter, she crossed her arms over her chest. “It's complicated.”

“Do you think I'm blind? Ever since you were a kid, you've followed Chase around with your heart in your eyes. I don't know what happened between you and Jenna.” He put his hand up to stop her when she started to speak. “And I don't need to know, but I do know you care about Chase.”

Her gut coiled into a heavy knot of regret. “It doesn't matter anymore. It's too late.”

Jacob crossed the room and placed firm hands on her shoulders, capturing her with the intensity of his gaze. “Go talk to him.” It was a command. “You're my baby sister and Chase is my best friend. Don't think this isn't weird for me. But, you're both miserable. If there's a chance—”

“All right.” She gave him a sad smile, hating that Chase was unhappy, and she was the cause. But she knew there was nothing that could change what had been done. The emptiness where he had once been was too—
complete
. “I'll go to him.”

* * *

Chase threw his suitcase on the floor of his bedroom and sat down heavily on the edge of his bed. Elbows on his knees, he placed his head in his hands and sighed.

Two weeks in Central and South America researching various werejaguar lore, and he'd come up empty-handed. The entire trip had been a complete waste of time. He'd come to realize that werejaguars weren't just antisocial, they were guarded, highly secretive, and extremely pissed that he'd killed one of their own, self-defence or not. The closest thing to an answer he'd gotten was from a female werejaguar named Ixtli, who'd spat in his face when he wouldn't fuck her.

She'd snarled arrogantly and gave him a loathsome stare. “No wonder your woman refuses to claim you.”

Chase snorted at the memory. The bitch had been ruthless. He'd barely escaped Guatemala with his head intact. But that one simple comment had struck him to the core. Was it possible that Lora could still claim him?

He dragged his hands through his hair and stood.

“Chase?” Turner's voice echoed down the long hallway.

Shit
, he wasn't ready to face anyone yet, not even his brother. If he knew Chase was home, that meant Jacob did as well. He needed more time. More time to figure out what to do. How to get Lora back, and how not to fuck things up again.

“There you are.” Turner leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. “God, you look like shit.”

Chase grunted.

Turner cocked an eyebrow and watched him as he started to unpack. “Did you find what you were after?”

Chase blew out a frustrated breath and glared at his brother. “Stay out of it.”

“Right. Like how you stay out of my shit.”

“I'm not the one intent on fucking up his life.”

“Last I heard you're the one on suspension, not me.”

“Fuck you.”

“You're a real prick, you know that?”

“What do you want, Turner?”

Turner rubbed the back of his neck as one side of his mouth quirked up in a sheepish grin.

Chase froze. “What did you do now?”

“Nothing. I swear.” He put his hands up with a feigned look of innocence. “Jacob's got me on call, investigating the random morphings.”

“Yeah, and?”

“I was thinking since your schedule's empty, you could look into a lead.” He tugged on his ear and tucked his chin, looking down at the floor. “Off the record.”

Chase dropped the shirt he held back in the suitcase. That didn't sound good. “Off the record?”

Turner shoved his hands in his pockets, his face pulled tight in tension. “The man's not dead. I can prove it. I just need—”

“No. This isn't a fucking game. Richard Boyd is dead.”

“You saw Austin's file. The work that those kids were doing in the compound. It's Boyd. I know it. I've put a tracker on his oldest daughter, Riley and—”

“You did what? I could have you suspended for that alone. You've been ordered to stay away from his family. Jesus, you killed the girl's father. Leave her the hell alone.”

Turner winced. His fingers tightened and flexed. “What's your problem?”

His problem? The only woman that he had ever allowed into his soul had torn his heart to pieces. He was hanging onto his sanity by a thread, and Turner wanted to know what his problem was?

“I'm tired of cleaning up your shit,” Chase said, poking his finger at Turner's chest. “You want to screw your life up? Be my fucking guest, but stop dragging me into it.”

Turners lips turned up in a snarl, his silvery gray eyes glittered with fury. “You're such an ass.” He pushed Chase's hand away. “No wonder Lora left you.”

Chase's fist was flying before he knew what he was doing. His knuckles crunched against Turner's jaw, and pent up anger exploded through his system. Turner took the punch well, barely staggering, his own hand jabbing upward and catching Chase in the chin.

When he stumbled, Turner tackled him to the ground. He got two good shots in before Chase was able to flip him. It had been years since he had fought with his younger brother, and the match was no longer as one-sided as it had been when they were kids.

“Stop it!” A woman's cry stopped him mid punch.

His lion growled, pulling Chase back from the edge of insanity.

Turner shoved him away.

He took a deep breath and wiped the blood from his lip. He didn't need to look up to know who stood in the doorway. He'd know her scent anywhere.

Lora.

Lora put her hands on her hips and frowned at the two men who lay bloody and beaten on the floor. “What are you doing?”

Turner stood quickly and moved to the other side of the room, sullen and brooding. His left eye was already swelling.

Chase kept his gaze down, standing slowly.

Turner shoved his hands in his pockets, glared at his brother, and gave a low, warning growl. “I don't know what the fuck crawled up your ass, but when it crawls out, call me.”

Chase merely grunted, standing in front of the window, his back to both of them.

“Asshole,” Turner mumbled. He walked around the edge of the room, not taking his gaze off his brother, as if expecting Chase to lash out again. He shook his head at Lora as he walked past. “Sorry you had to see that.”

She didn't know what the hell she'd just witnessed, but the raw scent of both men's anger assaulted her nostrils. “I'll talk to him.”

Turner gave a short nod, and walked out of the room.

Chase's body jerked as the front door slammed shut.

A tension-filled silence occupied the room. After a few long moments, he turned towards her.

Her heart ached at the sight of him. A dark bruise shadowed his jaw, and his bottom lip was cut open, seeping fresh blood. He looked worn out, crushed. Dark circles rimmed his eyes, the usual bright blue, seemed dull and faded. There was at least a week's growth on his chin, and his hair was a dishevelled mess.

Defeat lay inside him like a festering wound. She could see it in his eyes, a haunted look that brought tears to her eyes.

She turned towards the bathroom, and heard him let out a ragged breath. When she returned with a wet washcloth, he was standing once again with his back towards her, staring out the window.

“Sit,” she ordered, placing her purse on the floor.

He moved slowly, brows drawn down. “Lora—”

“Sit down.” She pointed to the bed and lifted her chin, challenging him to defy her. “You're bleeding.”

A muscle flexed sharply on his jaw as he sat down in front of her.

Her fingers trembled as she brushed the dark hair off his forehead, and took in his dark, savagely hewn features. Warmth flooded through her. Being so close to him brought back the vivid memories of the few stolen hours they'd shared.

Gently and silently, she dabbed the blood away. When she was finished, he grabbed her wrist. There was an edge of hope in his eyes that made her stomach flutter.

“I missed you.” His voice was dark, heavy, and full of raw emotion.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. What was he doing? What was she doing? She'd gone there to explain why she had run. But it was a bad idea, even without the mating hormones rushing through her system, or her animal struggling for release, she couldn't control her heart or body longing for him, especially this close.

“Chase, I…”

He released her wrist and looked down. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” Her skin tingled where he had touched her. “I wanted to explain.”

“Explain?” He growled and pushed himself off the bed. “Explain why you ran? Why you trusted another man over me, over your mate?” His voice was steady, but his tone was dangerously low. “I'd love to fucking hear why you were willing to throw our bond away?” He turned on her, blue eyes glittering with anger. “Go ahead. Tell me how you were
so
frightened of being with me that you ran into another man's arms and allowed him to mark you—”

“That's not—”

His lips tightened and he pointed a finger at her. “That's exactly what happened. I would have done anything to protect you. But you chose
him
over me.”

Was that what he thought? “I didn't know he planned to mark me.”

He laughed bitterly. “You think that's any better?”

She took a step towards him and he growled, stopping her in her tracks.

There was nothing she could say to change what she'd done, nothing that could make it better. His anger was justified.

“I'm sorry.”

“For what? Ripping my heart out? You may not have known how Austin was going to free you from our bond, but don't stand there and act like you didn't jump at the opportunity to destroy us.”

She inhaled sharply. The pain in his voice struck at her heart, clenching her chest. Ripping his heart out? He acted as if he actually had feelings for her.

“You're right.” She squared her shoulders and met his stern gaze. “He offered a solution and I took it.”

“A solution? Like what we had was something to be fixed.”

“I needed to be fixed,” she shouted. “I was broken. I ran because I knew it was the only way to protect you.”

He moved quickly, eliminating the distance between them. “Did you think for one minute that maybe I had a right to be part of that decision?”

She took a step backwards, but he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back towards him.

Her pulse quickened and she placed her hands on his chest wanting to push away, but not finding the strength. “You would've tried to stop me.”

“Damn fucking right I would have.” His eyes blazed a vibrant blue.

“I'm not your responsibility.” Unable to resist his touch, she placed her forehead on his chest and sighed. “You're always trying to take care of everyone. I knew you would want to help me. Put on your red cape and fly to my rescue. You have a good heart. It's what I love about you.” He stiffened. “But I couldn't let you give up the chance to find your true mate in order to be my savior.”

He placed his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. “It was my choice.”

“But it wasn't mine.”

His eyes widened and he released her abruptly. “You'd rather I let you die of the fever than be bound to me? Is that what you're saying?”

When he said it aloud, she realized how horrible it sounded.

“The only reason you marked me that night was to save my life. You would never have done it otherwise.”

He blew out a hard, heavy breath. “You're so sure of that?”

“Yeah, I am.” She wrapped her arms around her chest. “Look, I'm sorry I hurt your pride. But I did what was best for both of us. You're free now. We both are. I came here to apologize. I understand if you can't forgive me, but I hope someday we can be friends.”

“Friends.” He spat the word as if it were an insult, and turned his back to stare out the window.

She picked up her purse from the floor and moved to leave. “Goodbye, Chase.”

“I love you.”

She froze.

He moved to block the door. “I love you and I want to be with you.”

“You can't…”

“I can—” His arm latched around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. His hold was possessive, firm. He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers. “And I do.”

She chewed on her bottom lip. No. She couldn't believe it. Not after she'd destroyed the possibility of them ever being together.

He groaned and traced her bottom lip with his thumb, pulling it gently from her teeth. “I just spent two weeks looking for answers. Praying there was some way to reverse what McCaffrey did.”

“It's too late.” Her voice thickened, moisture threatened to gather in her eyes. “We can never—”

His lips crushed down on hers as his fingers tangled in her hair. She gasped. A harsh growl echoed from his chest and heat infused her. She took his tongue in her mouth and moaned.

He pulled back slightly, his gaze locked on hers. “It doesn't matter. I don't need the mating in order to love you, to want to be with you. You're my other half, with or without the marking.”

Her breath hitched as a sob caught in her chest. The animal within her remained unusually silent. She had done the unthinkable, given up her mate. Allowed another man to sever the bond. How could he still want her? She shook her head. It was too much.

A rumbling resonated from his chest as his hips rocked against hers. “I'm yours, Lora. Like it or not.” His lips moved down her neck. “Say it.” His finger stroked over her nipple. She shivered involuntarily. “What am I?”

“You're mine,” she whimpered.

“Yours.” He growled the word in her ear, as his teeth raked her neck. “Only yours.”