Chasing Shadows (5 page)

I instinctively slowed down as I almost reached the light, my step growing softer, not wanting to be detected.

I covered my mouth with my hand to smother the gasp that threatened to spill from my lips when I came upon the scene. Three figures were standing above a fire ablaze on the ground. Their backs were to me but I knew instinctively who they were. It didn't make it any less shocking when one turned to speak to another, and I saw Simon's profile.

"How much longer?" he asked.

Claudia turned to him, a grimace on her face. "That's not for me to decide."

The third figure moved around to the other side of the fire, now facing me. Sarah's face was so familiar, yet so cold and foreign. She looked down at the fire by their feet with a sneer. I froze when her gaze lifted, looking straight at me.

"Company's here," she announced in a taunting voice. Claudia and Simon whipped around, locking eyes on me. Claudia stepped forward and I got the first good look at the fire they had been circling. Fear and revulsion swept through me when I realized it wasn't just the flames that were dancing wildly, casting shadows and light against the dense thicket of trees. There was a body in the flames, twitching and jerking as the fire engulfed it, each spasmodic thrust bowing the body at an unnatural angle. The person being burned alive was fighting, trying to escape the fingers of scorching flames.

I felt myself start to tremble, my mind rebelling at the sight before me. Claudia was still walking towards me, and I knew I should turn and run the other way. But I was transfixed by the flames, unable to look away, yet sickened by what I saw. I realized the burning I smelled was the burning of flesh. The burning of a life.

"Just let go," Claudia murmured, her eyes burning bright. "Aren't you tired, Caitlin? Just let go. Then you can rest."

Claudia's gaze was hypnotic and I felt myself sinking into myself at her words, tension leaving my body. She was right. I was so tired. Physically and mentally drained. All I wanted to do was sleep. Rest. If only for a moment.

Claudia glided closer and closer, her eyes never leaving mine. It was hard to fight her steady gaze, her seductive words.

"Caitlin." A whisper went through my mind, as soft as a breeze. I jerked in response, not knowing whether it was coming from outside of me or if it was in my mind. "Caitlin, remember who you are. Remember where you came from."

Claudia was almost upon me and I backed away, the voice shaking me out of my dream state. But it was too late. Claudia grabbed me by the shoulders, her fingers digging into me with painful force. I cried out as her grip tightened, her fingers feeling like they were going to sink into me and tear into my skin.

Suddenly, it was no longer her fingers that were tormenting my flesh. My whole body was on fire, hundreds of flames licking at my skin, searing pain engulfing my entire body. I opened my mouth to scream, but the flames were merciless, suffocating me. Consuming me. I was mindless with pain so acute and sharp that I prayed I would lose consciousness. Faces swam above me, and I realized with violent clarity that I was the one Claudia, Simon and Sarah were watching being burned alive.

My body bowed in shattering pain, and finally the screams escaped me. I screamed until my throat was raw, until the smell of my own flesh burning and the sizzling of skin being scorched off my body was too much, and sweet merciful blackness enveloped me.

I sat up with a gasp, my heart thundering in my chest as I fought to catch my breath. I could almost feel the flames flickering against my skin and I rubbed my arms reflexively. I cursed myself for falling asleep, surprised that I could see the glimmers of morning through the window.

I could still vividly remember what it felt like to be burned alive, the excruciating pain that didn't seem humanly possible to bear. I shuddered at the thought. This was no mere dream, but I didn't know what it meant. Was I foreseeing my own death? Aunt Brenda had said her vision was of me being burned alive. Was this what she had seen?

I went downstairs, hoping that Marie and Cecelia had returned during the night, but I wasn't surprised when nothing but an empty house greeted me. I had a feeling I was truly alone now. I knew I needed to go back to Aunt Brenda's house. I was convinced the key was in her journal. I just needed to find it.

I had no appetite but I made myself eat another sandwich, washing it down with more coffee. I grabbed Lenore's keys and drove to Aunt Brenda's house. I tentatively entered it and quickly checked all the rooms, relieved when I found them empty. I paused to stare at the blood stain on the living room carpet. A myriad of emotions went through me, but the dominating one was anger. I added Lenore's name to the list of those I would avenge.

I started the search again in Aunt Brenda's bedroom, although I had turned it upside down yesterday. I walked on the floorboards, putting pressure on each plank to see if any were loose. It would be an unexpected hiding spot for a journal.

I almost gave up when a floorboard right next to her dresser shifted when I pressed my foot against it. I dropped to my knees, my hands eagerly scrabbling at the wooden plank, trying to force it up.

I was so focused on my task that I was taken completely off guard when I heard the front door downstairs creak open.

Chapter Five

My first instinct was to jump up and run, but I knew I needed to remain completely still. I didn't want to make a single sound to alert the intruder of my location. The person was being silent as well, knowing that someone was inside because of Lenore's car sitting out front in the driveway.

I cursed myself for my carelessness, the car an announcement to all things evil that I was here for easy pickings. I strained to make out any sound, but all I could hear was my heart thudding against my ribcage.

I rose slowly and walked softly and methodically to the closet, picking up a heavy wrought iron lamp along the way. I didn't know what to do besides hide with a weapon, ready to bludgeon anyone who opened the closet door. I just hoped that the intruder was human.

I crept inside the closet, quietly shutting it except for a tiny crack. I wanted the advantage of seeing the intruder before they saw me. A few seconds seemed like hours as I waited, and I wondered if the person had left. My hope was dashed when I suddenly heard the creak of a floorboard in the hallway. I held my breath, praying that this wasn't how it was going to end. I kept my eyes trained on the crack in the closet door, tightening my grip on the lamp, although my sweaty palms were making it difficult.

I wanted to whimper when I saw a shadow on the ground through the slit of the closet door, but I forced myself to swallow it. A hand reached out for the knob and I raised the lamp, ready to fight for my life.

The closet door swung open and I launched myself forward, the lamp held high, ready to make contact with whatever was in front of me.

"Whoa, whoa!" I heard a voice yell out. "Caitlin, it's me!"

My mouth dropped open, my shock almost comedic if it hadn't been for the circumstances. I lowered my arms, the lamp sliding from my damp fingers and landing on the floor with a thud. My heart pumped even faster, but this time it wasn't from fear.

Simon dropped the fireplace poker that he had been holding and grabbed me, hauling me forward into his arms. He held me tight, burying his face in my neck, and my arms automatically lifted, clutching tightly around his neck.

I felt relief and joy coursing through me. His body against mine felt so life-affirming, so comforting, that I wanted to weep.

"Christ, Caitlin," he muttered against my neck. "I thought I was never going to see you again."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I didn't know what else to say, how to explain everything that had happened. So I just repeated the words. "I'm sorry."

Simon pulled back slightly so that he could look at my face, lifting a hand and grazing my cheek with the back of his knuckles, as if to confirm that I was actually standing in front of him. I saw a multitude of emotions cross his face; relief, happiness, confusion, anger. The last emotion seemed to have staying power as he dropped his arms, stepping back. I felt the loss of his embrace and I nervously gripped my hands together, knowing that I had a lot to answer for.

"What are you sorry for?"

I had a feeling that a lot was riding on how I answered his question.

"I'm sorry for leaving like I did." My voice was a whisper and I cleared my throat, speaking more loudly. "I'm sorry for not trusting you. There's just...there are a lot of things I've had to deal with that are hard to explain."

My last statement was so ludicrous that I laughed, although there was no humor in the sound.

Simon took a deep breath, studying me. Despite everything that had happened, the circumstances we were in, I drank in the sight of him hungrily. He looked tired, his face strained and pale with dark circles under his eyes. But he was beautiful despite it all. I clenched my hands into fists, stopping myself from reaching up and sweeping his dark hair back from his face, to feel the silky smooth texture between my fingers. His blue eyes seemed duller than usual, but they were just as effective in piercing straight into me.

"Try me," he said flatly. His elation over finding me seemed to have passed.

I sat down on the bed, feeling weak from the adrenaline rush that had drained from my body, leaving only exhaustion. I looked up at Simon, my mouth twisting. "I don't even know where to start."

Simon's eyes softened as he looked at me but his expression remained resolute. "Why don't you start with the visions?"

"How much has Sarah told you?" I glanced behind him as if I expected her to pop her head out. "Where is she?"

"I think she's pretty much told me everything she knows. She didn't want to, but we thought...we thought it was a life and death situation. She came down to Connecticut with me yesterday and we stopped by here, but when we didn't find anything she went back up to Maxwell."

I nodded, sighing deeply. "I figured as much. I...I was here yesterday. I overheard you and Sarah talking."

Simon's expression darkened, his lips tightening. "You were hiding from us?"

"I was trying to protect you! Both you and Sarah. It's not easy to explain."

I looked down at the floor, debating how much to tell. A part of me believed that I should try to hide what was really happening, but I was tired of keeping secrets. I was tired of trying to do this alone. Simon had a right to know what was happening, especially since he was in danger. He deserved to have all the facts so he could make decisions based on all the information.

"Sarah doesn't know that it's gone beyond just my visions. Beyond meeting the people in my visions in real life." I bit my lip, knowing that it was going to sound insane. "It's a little hard to believe."

"I'll be the judge of that," Simon said, expressionless. He sat down on the bed next to me, but not close enough that we were touching.

Everything poured out of me. About my aunt's disappearance and the whole notion of vardogers trying to overtake their people. About Lenore having vanished, just like my aunt, and about Claudia, who had already been overtaken by her vardoger. I told him how she was determined to destroy me, using the vardogers of Sarah and him. I told him everything, watching his face as I confessed things that would forever change how he looked at the world. I wasn't sure whether he believed me. He didn't say a word, his expression enigmatic.

"I told you it was hard to believe," I said when I was finished, trying to smile but failing. I nervously waited for Simon to speak.

"It's a lot to take in," he said finally, his words measured. "I'm not sure what to think right now."

"Do you believe me?"

His hesitation told me everything I needed to know. I shot up from the bed, knowing that I shouldn't feel so disappointed. No one who hadn't lived these past few days could be expected to believe the fantastical tale I just told. Yet, I had been naively hopeful that Simon would be the exception.

He rose and grabbed my wrist before I could go anywhere. "Caitlin, I didn't say I don't believe it. It's just...I'm still trying to get over finding you. And now you're telling me that there are these things called vardogers trying to kill us? To take control of our bodies?"

I shook my head, not looking at him. "I know it sounds crazy. I know
I
sound crazy. I don't expect you to believe me."

Simon pulled me closer, lifting my head up by the chin and forcing me to look at him. He looked concerned and anxious. "It's not that I don't believe you. I
want
to believe you. I just..."

He trailed off, looking at me uncertainly. "It's okay," I said tightly, trying to push away my disappointment. "It doesn't matter."

"It
does
matter," Simon replied fiercely, his blue eyes flashing with emotion. "Do you know how crazy I've been these past two days? I was so scared something had happened to you. I thought I was going to go out of my mind when I read the letter you left behind. Sarah thought...she thought that you had hurt yourself. I didn't know what to think. I just knew that you didn't trust me enough to confide in me. You didn't let me help you."

Tears pooled in my eyes at the raw emotion on Simon's face. He looked hurt and vulnerable, but didn't he realize I was grappling with so much more? The balance of good and evil was at stake and evil was rapidly winning out.

"Simon, I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on. But can you at least understand why I held things back? You say you want to believe me now, but I know you don't. I can see it in your eyes. And the thing is, I don't blame you. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. But the last thing I need right now is to have to try and convince you I'm not crazy. My aunt is missing. I saw her friend killed and now her body is missing. I've had Claudia try to kill me, shadows are trying to overtake my body and my visions are driving me to the edge! That's all I can take right now!" I knew I was getting hysterical, my voice getting louder and more frantic, but I felt raw and exposed. And alone.