Chasing the Fire (Backdraft, Fully Involved, Flashover) (3 page)

“Where are you, sweetie?” he asked when they
reached the bedroom.

“Thinking about the first time we made
love.”

“Oh, God, don’t remind me. I was a bumbling
idiot.”

“Ah, but now you’re a real stud.”

He laughed, that husky before- (or after-)
sex laugh, and reached for the hem of her nightshirt. “Hmm. Let’s
see about that.”

What she got this time wasn’t the hot, monkey
sex he’d mentioned earlier. Slowly—too slowly—he slid the shirt
over her head. She was naked beneath it. She reached for his
T-shirt, but he stopped her.

“Ah, not yet. Let me touch you.”

His hands were like a whisper of silk on her
skin. He ran them all over her, and when he knelt down before her,
he nuzzled his face in her mound. Kissed her. Licked her. Then
began in earnest to arouse her. With tender passion, he took her to
the first peak and she tumbled over with gentle but intense
feeling.

Then she led him to the bed. He laid down
first and held out his hand. She took it, knelt on the mattress and
moved between his legs. She ran her mouth over his pecs, down his
sides, lower, kissing his thighs, his knees, whatever her lips met.
He moved restlessly because she hadn’t hit her target yet.

“Janie, you’re killin’ me.”

“Good.” She kept up the sweet abrasion of his
body for a long time.

Finally, she took his penis between her palms
and massaged him as he’d taught her to do.

He moaned. “Jesus, baby…”

She kept up the motions, shifting subtly,
until he grasped on to her hips. “Now,” he growled.

Smiling, she went up on her knees and
straddled him. Slowly, easily, he lifted her farther and settled
her on him. Her pulse skyrocketed at how full and feminine she
felt.

“I love this part,” he whispered raggedly.
“When I’m first inside you.”

“Me, too.” Like most everything else, they
were on the same wavelength about sex.

She began to move. She increased the speed in
tiny increments. His grip on her hips tightened and he helped
escalate her movements. Groans of pleasure rumbled out of him as
all his muscles tightened.

Her body was in sync with his. She felt the
spiral build and build and build until he gave one last thrust. He
started first and she joined him with bursts of light, color and
sensation floating around her. The same gentle completion consumed
them.

After they’d climaxed, he pushed a few more
times, causing aftershocks to rock through her. Sounds of pleasure
echoed from him, too.

He eased her off him and down onto the bed.
Tugged her into the crook of his shoulder. Entangled their
legs.

Jane liked this valley as much as the peaks.
She felt him kiss her hair and murmur sleepily, “There. That’s just
what I needed.”

Me too,
she thought. She was where she
belonged and was going to stay here, regardless of their
differences.

“Rye?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ll try to let you have your own feelings
about your dad.”

“So will I. I’ll be better at letting you
have yours.”

Turning her nose into his chest, she vowed
they’d get through this drama of his father’s return.

oOo

THE SOUND OF
the doorbell woke them.
Riley stirred first. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was ten a.m.
Not too early for company, but inconvenient as hell.

“Who’s that?” Janie’s voice was fuzzy.

“Who knows? I’ll get up.”

He grabbed for his sweats and T-shirt again,
dressed and headed barefoot to the foyer. Checking the front
window, he saw his mother’s car in the driveway. She was always
circumspect and never invaded their privacy, so he’d tease her a
bit.

Pulling open the door, he said sassily, “Do
you even want to know what you interrupted, Mave darlin’?”

His mother’s face blanked and she stared at
him.

Uh-oh.

“Mom, I was kidding.” He kissed her on the
cheek. This was another woman he loved deeply.

“Rye, we have to talk. And I have to say, I’m
not happy with you.”

That’s what she’d said ever since he was
young, whenever he’d done something wrong.
Riley Benjamin
Gallagher, I’m not happy right now.

Through his sex-induced and sleep-caused
haze, it took him until she said the words to remember what had
happened.

“I got a call from the hospital. How
could
you not tell me your father showed up last night?”

Staring at the woman who’d given birth to
him, Riley tried to choose his words carefully. In the past, he’d
managed to keep from her his anger and despair over what his dad
had done and be there for her and Abby. “I’m sorry if I upset
you.”

“I don’t want an apology. I want to know why
you didn’t call me right away.”

“Janie was subbing on my group. She fell
through a floor. I was busy taking care of her.”

Mave’s eyes rounded. “Is she all right?”

“Yes, she’s still asleep.”

“That’s good.” His mother hesitated. “Honey,
I know you had a lot of feelings about your dad you didn’t share
with me in the past. But I also know my son better than you think.
You suffered the most over what he did; you two were so close and
because of the fire department.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “You knew? I
didn’t want to hurt you with my feelings.” He watched her for a
moment. “But now that it’s out, and especially now that you’ve been
through with him for years, I’ll confess that I have no intention
of seeing him. I assumed you’d feel the same, so why even tell you
he was in town?”

Her eyes misted. His father had hurt her
irrevocably. “I had a right to know.”

“Janie thought so, too. Maybe I was wrong.
Who told you?”

“The hospital called me. They said your
father was there and gave me as next of kin.”

“You divorced.”

“Technically.”

His stomach clenched. It had been in a
permanent knot for months during the aftermath of his father’s
admission. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, honey, I’ve never stopped loving the
man. After twenty-five years of marriage, you don’t let go easily.
Could you ever stop loving Jane if you split?”

“No, of course not. But this is different.”
And he was horrified at her confession. “After the shame he brought
on us all?”

“Shame is a useless emotion. What I felt was
deep sadness. The shame was all yours.”

Had she told him that before? “Fine, it was
mine. And Abby’s. Her husband’s a cop, for God’s sake. Imagine what
he had to endure.”

“This is such old ground, honey.” She shook
her head, her pretty, auburn hair, shot with a bit of gray, moving
with the motion. “And no, Abby and Aiden didn’t feel shame. They
were overwrought at what he’d done but saw him as a man who’d made
a terrible mistake and lost everything.”

“Mom, he loved gambling more than us.” Riley
hated how whiny he sounded.

“Oh, honey, no.”

“Yes. He got in over his head and racked up
so much debt he was forced to commit a crime. Lord, Mom, he helped
Steele hurt the fire department, which we
all
love.”

“He was weak. I’ll give you that. But did you
ever think what it did to him to know how he failed us?”

“No. I refuse to.” He came to the edge of his
seat. “Mom, where is all of this going? Why are we dredging it up?
We never fight about anything.”

For some reason, she checked her watch.
“Because I’m on my way to the hospital to pick him up. Abby’s
meeting me there. I thought you might have forgiven him enough to
go with us.”

He felt cold dread seep through him, a
feeling he’d lived with for a long time right after his father left
and hoped never to experience again. “I can’t.”

She gave him a pitying look. “I’m sorry to
hear that. You’ve lived for years with your anger and resentment.
I’m sure it’s doing awful things to you, inside.” She stood. “I’m
leaving. If you want to know how everything is, you can call
me.”

“Wait.” He stood, too. Her face showed rays
of hope and he hated disappointing her. “He’s homeless. He was with
a lot of other vagrants in that building.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m taking him to the
house he paid for.”

Riley stilled. “Jesus Christ, Mom. You can’t
do that.”

She cupped his cheek with her palm. “Yes,
dear, I can.” Her gaze strayed to something behind him. “Oh, Janie,
hi.”

“I was listening.” He turned to see Jane
dressed in sweats, hair tousled and eyes troubled.

“Good. Maybe you can get somewhere with my
son. It’s time to put his father’s sins behind us.”

Please let her stand by me, God, please.

“I’m sorry, Rye, I agree with your
mother.”

oOo

THEY TOOK A
hilly path on the
outskirts of town, running as if their lives depended on it. After
last night’s fall, Jane was having trouble keeping up. Earlier
today, when she told the truth—damn it, he’d said he’d let her have
her feelings—he’d walked out of the room, gone to the bedroom and
changed into running clothes. He’d come back down after Mave left,
told Jane he was going out for a jog, and she’d followed him. They
hadn’t talked for three miles. “Wait for a minute, will you?” she
said, stopping.

“If you can’t keep up, I’ll just go ahead.
You rest here.”

Rarely did she purposely manipulate him. But
today he needed it. “You wouldn’t be able to keep up, either, if
you fell through the floor of a burning building.”

He halted immediately. For their whole lives,
whenever she’d needed him, he was there for her. In high school
when the football team teased him about dating a nerd, he took them
on one by one. When her mother had run off with another man, he’d
consoled her. And she couldn’t have made it through her father’s
death if he hadn’t stayed with her every minute. With the exception
of his stubbornness about his dad, he always put her first. So she
wasn’t surprised when he said, “You look exhausted. You shouldn’t
be running.”

“I came along because I want to talk.”

“I don’t.”

“Tough shit. I told you earlier, we’re not
letting this happen again.”

He stared at her.

She said, “This is how it started off the
last time. Not communicating. Staying away from me as much as you
could.”

“I had to. Turning in to myself was the only
way I could deal with what happened. And I didn’t want to hurt you
anymore by fighting about him.”

“I’m not letting you shut me out, Riley. I’m
not letting you turn into a jerk and almost ruin our life together
because of your father.”

“Well, excuse me,” he said, kicking the dirt
like a little kid who’d gotten scolded. “The man shamed us in front
of the whole town, in addition to hurting our fellow firefighters.
You
should be more upset than you are.”

That stung. “So much for letting me have my
own feelings about that.”

“Right back at ya.”

She raised her chin. “I’m comfortable with my
feelings about your dad.”

“Because he took you in when your father
died.”

“Partly. But he was a good man with a
disease.”

“I could live with a man who had a disease.
But not what he did to our guys.”

“It has the same origin.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Once again, she found her anger spiking. How
could such a wonderful man be so myopic about something? “Rye, he’s
back. Your mother told me she’s taking him home. And that Abs was
excited about seeing him.”

“Well, he has a way with women. I’ll bet he
cheated on Mom, too.”

As her mother had cheated—and he knew how
Jane felt about that. She turned and walked away. She’d only taken
a few steps when he caught up to her, grasped her arm and pulled
her around. “I’m sorry. That was thoughtless. I didn’t mean for
that to come up. But now that it has, have you ever forgiven
her?”

“It’s not the same thing, and you know it.
And that you’d use that against me to win an argument sucks
big-time.”

He just stared at her. So she gave in. Moving
closer, she circled his neck with her arms. “You need help. Go see
Jack Harrison.” The department shrink. “Talk out your feelings,
your anger and hurt. Otherwise you’ll never be rid of what’s
obviously gnawed at you inside for eight years.”

That was the same advice she’d given him when
the incident happened. “I can’t, Janie. It hurts too much to dredge
this all up.”

“It’s hurting you, anyway. This thing is like
backdraft. Suddenly you turn around and the fire’s sparked again,
ready to bite you in the ass. You have to put it out for good.”

“I will, but I’ll do it my way. And I won’t
hurt you again. I promise.”

She said simply, “You already are hurting
me.” She started back down the trail.

This time, he didn’t come after her.

oOo

TONY RAMIREZ WAS
a great guy.
Everybody loved having him as the officer in their group. He was
fair and caring. Riley had spent some time with him and his family,
and he loved their kids, especially the baby, Nia. He even insisted
he and Jane babysit her sometimes. Riley had wanted kids for years
now, but Jane kept delaying, and of course, the decision was more
hers than his. “Come in my office for a few minutes, will you,
Gallagher?”

“Sure.”

Once they were seated in the small space,
Tony stared over at Riley. “I’ll come right to the point.
Something’s eating at you. You’ve been quiet since the shift
started yesterday. I don’t mean to pry, but if you want to talk,
it’ll stay confidential unless it hinders your performance.”

“No, I’m okay.”

“I don’t think you are. Things happen in our
lives we can’t control and they affect us. I’ve been there.” He
waited. “I left the line a couple of years ago because of something
that seemed insurmountable at the time.”

Riley had heard that before he became officer
for this shift, the lieutenant had taken a teaching position at the
Academy because of his wife. He’d never known all the details.