Chasing the Wild Sparks (35 page)

“I got it already.”

He grins. “You did?” I nod and lift my head up from my pillow to kiss his lips. When he stops, his eyes piercingly sparkle as he hovers above me. “Baby, let’s make up.”

I look at him questionably. “I thought we did?”

“Huh-uh,” he mumbles against my lips as his kiss coerces my head back down to my pillow, taking him with me. Brusquely, he robs me of his lips and his shining eyes flicker over my face. There’s an inner turmoil ostensibly raging in his stare. He looks so serious. He slides his hands to mine and interlaces our fingers together.

“You mean the world to me, Becks. I’m so deeply and eternally in love with you. My heart is yours and beats just for you. I hurt you so much last night and I’m sorry. I pray that you can forgive me.” He nervously glances down to my lips as he licks his own. His eyes return to mine. “You’re my soulmate. Without you, I’m nothing. I don’t exist. With you, I’m complete. I only want you. Forever, baby. I’ll shout it from countertops, rooftops, treetops, mountaintops, from the top of the world; wherever you want and how ever often you want me to. We are a couple and I want everyone to know it. I’m sorry if you thought I was ashamed of you or that I wanted women to think I was single. That wasn’t why I kept you to myself. You’re my most prized possession. I just wanted to keep you as only mine and to protect you. I took it too far and I’m so sorry. I’ll never do that again. You deserve to be shown off by my side as my partner. You’re the only woman I’ll ever want. I’m committed to you, Becks, for the rest of my life.”

Holy hell. That sounded like wedding vows
.

Though, none that he’ll ever say to me in an actual wedding.

My tears blur his face and I blink to chase them. I can’t believe he said all of those beautiful things to me here, but he won’t say them to me before God and a minister.

I look away from him and over to the pictures of us on my nightstand, but he tips my head and stares down at me.

“What’s wrong? Don’t hide your tears from me, either. It broke my heart last night to see you cry…because of me.”
You still have no clue, Finn

“I forgive you. We’re past it.”

Closing his eyes, he winces. “I hate myself for what I did to you last night.” He kisses me and says, “Please forgive me. I love you so much, Hadley.”

He opens his eyes as my eyes widen and his instantly widen to match my surprise. Appearing to be alarmed, he asks, “What?” His eyes frantically scour my face, unsure of what he did.

“Say it again.”

His eyebrows pull together and his eyes continue to search mine. “Which part?”

“That last part.”

“I love you.”

“No. My name.”

With his eyes drifting over my face in uncertainty, he says, “Hadley.”

“Oh, fuck, Finnigan.” I grab his head and force his lips down onto mine, most likely shocking the hell out of him, since his lips take a few seconds to catch up to mine.

“Whoa,” he mumbles into our kiss.

“Uh-huh.”

Briskly, he pulls away. “How in the
hell
did I miss that?”

I giggle and coast my fingers over his cross and shamrock tattoos on his biceps. “I don’t know. I’ve been waiting three
years
for you to say it.”

“
Really
? It’s not like I haven’t called you by your real name before. I did call you that before
Becks
.” Amused, he chuckles. “I feel like I say it all the time. I guess not to you, though. Why didn’t you tell me that’s what you wanted?”
Like telling you what I want really matters
.

I shrug. I wanted you to do it on your own. I love you,
Finnigan
.”

He grins. “I love you, too,
Hadley
.” I jump up for his lips and kiss him passionately. He grinds his hips against mine, expeditiously bringing him back to life.

He groans and whispers, “I want to show you just how much I love you, baby.”

“You did with what you just said. Those were the sweetest things you’ve ever said to me. I take a deep breath. If he’s going to tease me with
vows,
then maybe I should do the same, too, not that he’ll ever acknowledge what they are, but maybe if I can convince my mind that we did somewhat exchange vows to each other, then possibly that’ll ease away some of the hopelessness I feel in my heart.

“I love you too, Finn, and I want to be a part of your life. I want us to share everything together: our work days, our likes and dislikes, our joys, sorrows and our bed, whichever one it is. My heart is yours for eternity, too, baby. I only want you. Nobody else. Ever. You’re my other half and my
soulmate.” I leisurely sweep his full bottom lip with my thumb and his brown eyes spark. “I can’t live without you. I want to be all you’ll ever need. When the rough oceans of the world get too much for you, I want to be your lighthouse guiding you to safe harbor. I’m always here for you. You’re not only my boyfriend, but you’re my
best
friend. I would die for you. I am forever committed to you, Finnigan Wilder.”

His eyes rapidly fly over my face, his mind racing behind them and he looks…
scared
? What’s going on in that handsome, yet remote head of his?

He stares at me in silence until he finally replies, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.
Show
me how you feel. Make love to me, Finnigan.”

“Hadley, I love you.” He leans on his arms to kiss my lips as he resolutely slides into me. The feel of him is like an electrical jolt shooting through my body and we both gasp at the same time, instantly reminding me when we first made love.

“Fuck, Becks.” I gaze up at him, his eyes glittering with hidden thoughts. He whispers, “Wow.”

“Wow,” I whisper back, dazed.

“What just happened? Did you feel that?” Not taking my eyes off of his, I dreamily nod. He stammers, “I-I didn’t think it was possible.”

“What wasn’t?” What is he talking about?

He coyly smiles. “I just fell even more in love with you.”
That’s
the sweetest thing Finn Wilder has ever said to me.

I return his shy smile. “I felt it, too, Finn. I’ve never loved you as much as I do right now.” I raise my hips to encourage him to move with me.

He gets the hint and thrusts deeper into me. “Oh, Hadley, what you do to me, inside and out, baby. That was…”

“Phenomenal.”

He nods, squeezes our fingers together, and drives harder into me as I try to angle my hips to create enough friction between us. We move together faster and I moan as he causes the inception of the intense build inside of me. He unclasps our hands as our hips gain more momentum, our heavy breathing intermingling with each other’s. Summarily, he confesses, “You’re my best friend, too, Becks.”

I breathlessly smile. “You just like me for the benefits.”

He huffs, “No, because I’m in love with my best friend.” The
second
sweetest thing he’s ever said.

My hands move to his ass, urging him further into me. “So am I. You feel so good inside me, Finnigan.”

“You feel so fucking good, Becks. Nothing between us. Just our love.”

I bring my hands up to his shoulders. “Forever.”

He runs a hand down to my hip, pushing and pulling me onto him. “Forever, Hadley. Can you feel how much I love you? I want you to feel it, Becks.” He lunges into me faster and growls, “Tell me you
feel
it.”

I pant and nod. “I do, Finn. I love you. Can you feel my love for you?”

His hair bouncing on his forehead. “Yes. Don’t ever stop loving me.”

“
Never
. I’m in love with you, Finnigan Robert Wilder.”

“I’m in love with you, Hadley Bliss Beckett. My Becks. My baby…
Always
.”

I crest the peak and start to fall over the mountain. I cry out and grip his shoulders, “Baby, don’t stop!”

“Oh, fuck!” He bangs into me faster and rasps, “Here I come.”

“I want it. Give me your love, Finnigan.”

We stop moving as he grunts stridently. Our bodies tighten before we collapse together, and we’re quiet as we catch our breaths and collect our thoughts.

Reluctantly, I finally glance over at the clock on my nightstand. “Baby, we have to go,” I say sullenly. I don’t want our time together to end. I won’t see him until Friday afternoon. He looks over at the clock and nods.

He sighs. “Yeah. After I drop you off, I have to change and be at Chimborazo Park for my promo shoot.” He kisses my lips as he unhurriedly pulls out of me.

I giggle. “What do you have to change into? A speedo?”

He laughs as he moves off of me. “No. I’m jumping out of a cake, so nothing at all, baby.”

“Cute. You’d better take a shower then. ”

He smirks and stands, offering his hand to me. I take it and sit up, but before I can let go of his hand, he yanks me to him and says, “No way. I want your love all over me, especially while I do my dare later.”

I warily smile at him and he swoops down to kiss my lips. “I love you, Becks.”

Quietly, I reply, “I love you, too.”

Needing a few minutes to myself to process what just happened between us, I gather my clothes and walk to the bathroom while Finn gets dressed.

CHAPT
ER 20

“I’ll see you Friday. Just go straight to my mother’s. I should already be there by the time you do.”

“Okay,” I say, glancing out my side window. Finn has pulled up to the curb in front of my office building. After the heartfelt things he said to me, I dread leaving him. I feel closer to him now than I ever did before. Maybe I’m reading too much into the things he said; making a big deal out of something that doesn’t even exist.

Finn clutches my thigh, snapping me out of my pondering. “What’s wrong?”

I turn to him and smile sadly. “I’m going to miss you.”

His smile is rueful. “It’s not like we see each other that much during the week as it is right now.”
Burn
.

“Yeah, but you’ll be in a different state, not the other side of the city.”

“I know.” He sighs and kneads his fingers into my leg. “I’ll miss you, too, baby. I’ll call you every night and email you when I can. Brushing my hair to the side, I watch his fingers tapping on his steering wheel to a song in his head. As he stares out to the parking lot, he distractedly adds, “We’ll be together again before we know it.”

Even though he doesn’t notice, I nod. “Have fun shooting your promo.”

Apparently hearing me, he chuckles and turns his head to roll his eyes at me. “Right.”

I grin. “When I see it, I’ll know your secret.”

His eyes widen and he stops tapping his fingers. “Secret?”

“Yep. Right before filming, Finn Wilder had hot and wild sex.”

He exhales in a whoosh and laughs. “Hell, yes. I’m sure it’ll be written all over my face.”

“When will it air?”

He taps his fingers again. “Probably Wednesday or Thursday, so watch for my happy, just-fucked smile.”

I cheekily smirk. “Oh, I will.”

A loud knock on my window scares me and I jump. A muffled voice shouts, “Alright, you two! Let’s wrap up the post coital chitchat!” I turn to see Rod walking away from the car, laughing while Morgan looks back at us as they both walk to the building’s entrance. Where’d
they
go together and be able to return in one piece?

I look to a scowling Finn. Is he mad at Rod for teasing me or is he mad about him touching his car? Probably the car.

“Let me know how your dare goes, too.” I angle my head to the side. “Don’t get into
too
much trouble.”

His annoyed gaze falls to mine, and he promptly grins and shakes his head. “I won’t. It’s harmless. I’ll call you tonight and I’ll tell you what I can about it, which isn’t much. I film it later on today, but it won’t air until Friday evening when Todd runs it for me, since I won’t be there. I’ll have a copy with me to show you at my mom’s before it airs.”

“I can’t wait to see it.”

“Me neither. I love you, Becks.” He leans closer to me, putting his hand on my neck, underneath my ponytail, and ardently kisses me.

I unwillingly pull back and say against his smile, “I love you, too.” I kiss him again before I drag myself out of his car. I watch him drive away as I walk to the doors.

When I reach the lobby, I see Rod and Morgan waiting for me near the elevators.

“Well, hello, there,” Rod leers at me; leaning up against the wall with his arms and ankles crossed.

I hit the elevator’s call button. “What’s with you?”

Morgan rolls her eyes. “How was
lunch
?”

I avoid looking at both of them. “It was good.”

“I bet Wilder would be enraged if he heard you calling him merely
good
.”

The elevator’s doors open and the three of us pile in. Rod punches the button on the panel and dramatically sniffs the air. “What’s that smell?”

I frown and look around. “What smell?”

He snaps his fingers. “Oh! I know! It’s
Eau de Wilder
.” He laughs and props his arm on my shoulder, causing me to stoop.

I shove his arm off and step away from him, shaking my head and crossing my arms. “What?”

He giggles behind his closed hand. “We can smell Wilder’s jizz all over you.”

My mouth nearly falls to the floor. “Holy shit, Rod! Shut up!”

Morgan adds with a laugh, “I definitely can smell sex on you, Hadley.”

“We went out and had lunch. Get your minds out of the gutter,” I defensively chide as the doors open.

“You are the worst liar ever,” Morgan asserts from behind me.

“Wilder had
you
for lunch. He didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was going to f—”

I yell over my shoulder, “Rod!”

He throws his hands up. “What? I’m speaking the truth!” He follows us down the hall to our office suite. I nod and smile at our cleaning lady walking out of the hallway bathroom. Rod uses her as his audience. “So how was the making up, Hadders? Did you make him beg for your forgiveness multiple times? Ooh! Did you punish him? Did you spank Wilder or just his monkey?
Or
did you deny him a happy ending and leave him blue, like his balls?”

I stop and spin around before we get to our door. I look up at his grinning face, knowing that he’s enjoying my embarrassment, and I haul off, punching him in the arm.

He grabs his bicep. “Fuck, Hadley! That hurt! Shit!”
Ouch
! I know! Rod is either lifting weights or wearing them.

“Good,” Morgan retorts and holds the door open for us.

I sneer, “Do you need a minute alone, Rod?  Or, would you prefer to cry in front of the entire office?”

“Shut up,” he mutters as he storms past me. Morgan holds her hand up and I high-five her.

I finish up a spreadsheet when I get a new email.

__
_______________________________

Thinking about you. Got my face fixed and am

just about to start the shoot.

I love you.

Finn

__________________________________

I giddily smile and send a reply.

__________________________________

What a coincidence. I’m sitting here thinking

also about you and how much
I love you. We

must be meant for each other.

Becks

__________________________________

We are.

Forever.

Finn

__________________________________

There’s a knock at my door and Morgan peeks her head in. “Hey, I have to go to City Hall. Want to come?”

“Yes! Val is gone for the day for a doctor’s appointment. Let’s go.”

In the car, we’re both quiet until we’re on the road. She says, “I thought you might want to go and swing by Chimborazo.” I can’t stop from giggling. I’m going to see Finn working! She then asks, “So, really. How was lunch?”

“It was great.”

She rolls her eyes at my bright smile. “Jesus, I see it all over your face. Rod said Finn apologized to him. That was very admirable of him to do. I’ll give him a little bit of credit.”

Proud of Finn, I say, “Me, too. I thought it was nice.”

“Just
nice
? Right, Hadley! You jumped Finn’s dick faster than Rod can remember his real name.”

“Morgan!” I giggle.

She peers incredulously over at me. “Am I wrong?”

I almost whisper, “No.”

“An afternoon delight?”

My shameless smile will not disappear. “Oh, yeah.”

“They’re great. That’s how I got pregnant.”

I dubiously laugh. “Was it?”

“Yes. Ivan picked me up and we went to my place for lunch, but we ditched the food.”

“So did we.”

She laughs. “You must be starving.”

“Not really.” I giggle again, feeling so content, which is a far cry from this morning.

Morgan pulls into Chimborazo and parks on the side of the road. “Where’s he at here? It’s 30 damn acres.”

“It looks like there are a bunch of people at the Statue of Liberty and a van parked off to the side.” I again peer at the mini Liberty replica, but from here, I can’t tell if it’s Finn.

“Okay. Let’s check it out. I’ll park here. I want to walk anyway.”

We make our way to the statue. Not many people are at the park since it’s still the middle of a work day.

She asks, “So, did he say anything about last night?”

“He’s really sorry. He wants to apologize to you, too.”

“I want him to know that I will stand up for you, Hadley. He’s not the only one who cares about you. I, and yes, even that jackass, Dick Rod, love you.”

I dubiously ask, “Why?”

“That’s the dumbest thing I think I’ve heard you ask. You’re my best friend. Shit. You’re
Greg Rodwell’s
BFF.”
I’m apparently Finn Wilder’s, too
. Warmth spreads through my veins and I grin as I look around us. I only see a few joggers and a couple of women walking.

“Where did you and Rod go for lunch? That was odd seeing you two being nice to each other.”

“Oh, shut up. I like the stupid bastard. I just don’t want
him
to know that!”

I giggle. “Did you take him to a restaurant with a kids’ playground?”

“No. There’s a new, cute little bistro up the street where they play violins. I took him there and professed my undying love to him in front of a huge crowd. I then got down on my knee and—”

“Okay. Shut up, smartass,” I say with a laugh.

She crosses her arms over her thin, royal blue blouse and briskly rubs her arms. “So, when are you going to tell Wilder you want him to knock you up?”

I sigh. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t even want to marry me. So, how can I ask him for a
baby
? He’s going to want a baby even less than me as his wife.”

“Well, he could put a bun in your oven and then you two could get married, like me.”

“That would never happen. I don’t doubt that he’d be around for the baby, but he still wouldn’t marry me. I’d rather be married first if I ever get pregnant. No offense. That’s just what I want.”

She shrugs. “Then you may miss the boat.”

“I know.” I sigh again. “Finn doesn’t want kids anyway.”

“He’ll change his mind.”

“I doubt it. He’s pretty stubborn.”

She stops walking and smacks her forehead. “Wow. I think I have the perfect woman for Finn Wilder,” she says acerbically.

Stopping, I put my hands on my hips. “As Rod would say, ‘Bite me, Morticia.’” Morgan laughs and we start walking once more, while looking around the park as we stroll underneath a canopy of trees.

“I would tell him you want to have his baby. If he’s not going to marry you, tell him to at least give in to one of your dreams, Hadley. Ask him to make a baby with you. See what he says to that.”

I cross my arms as a cool breeze blows through. “I don’t know, Morgan. Today was so…special for us. I don’t want to ruin what we have now by pushing him away. I feel so much closer to him now than I ever have before.”

“Besides fucking, what the hell happened?”

How much do I want to divulge? “He said he ‘fell even more in love with me.’”

She looks at me incredulously. “He did? Are you
that
good in bed? Shit, girl!”

“No!” I giggle. “I thought the things he said were so sincere and compelling. I can’t shake the feeling I have about it all. It felt like he was confessing his soul’s deepest and darkest secrets… I don’t know. It felt like he was…
marrying me
.” I shake my head and hate that I sound so stupid.