Chasing the Wild Sparks (4 page)

His mouth opens and shuts before he spouts, “Shut up! At least your shirt is now see-through.” Horrified, I automatically look down to make sure I’m not as indecent as he asserts. “Made you look. Ha!”

I narrow my eyes at him, giving him a dour look. “By the way, thank you. Not only do I now smell like a brewery, but I also look like a walking kegger. Anyway, I don’t even have email, let alone Internet access on my phone. How could I have possibly been watching a video on it, Rod?”

“I forgot! That’s not exactly the first thing that came to mind when you told me what you were watching.” He nods at my phone. “You need to get rid of that piece of shit and upgrade to something sweet. Tell Wilder to buy you a new phone. He rakes in the cash.”

“Why? I’m okay with this one. I don’t really talk on the phone much, except to Finn, Bethany and my dad. I see everyone else I talk to at work. I’d buy my own phone anyway.”

“Well, get one. That way you can check your mail and search for porn when you’re away from your computer.”

I solemnly nod and skate my lips into a regretful smile. “Yes. That is a must. I just can’t stay away from porn.”

“I have the same problem,” he replies gravely.

I scrunch my face and incline away from him. “Eww!”

He gleefully laughs. “I was only joking, Hadders.”
Yeah. I doubt that
.

He leans back against the seat and pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Damn it,” he mumbles.

“What?” I inquire before I take a sip of my lemonade.

“I missed a call from Eden. My mom said Eden has been feeling so tired lately and it has been more than usual.”
I notice that when Rod talks about his family or anything pertaining to his home state of North Carolina, his voice takes on a slight drawl of a Southern accent. It’s the only time I hear it. As soon as he begins talking about something else, it’s gone. Quirky Rod.

“What does her doctor say?”

He sets his phone down on the table. “Just to get plenty of rest, stay away from sick people and to continue her swimming and yoga. Yoga. I never understood that shit.”

Rod’s 30 year-old sister has cystic fibrosis. She’s been told she could live to see 35, but Eden doesn’t think she’ll see it. I can’t imagine what’s she’s going through, or even what Rod is. They are very close and I worry about how it will affect him when she dies. It’s such a heartbreaking diagnosis, knowing at a young age that you have a certain death sentence looming over you every day.

“She only seems to be getting worse. Mom said that Eden is on oxygen most of the day, has lost more weight, and is practically living in the bathroom. I have to ask my mother about Eden because even though I talk to her often, she won’t tell me how she’s really doing. I know she’s not going to be around much longer and it scares me. I don’t see her much. I try to make it back to Durham as much as I can, but not like I should.” Rod runs a hand through his hair and drops his hand on the table. “Fuck, I am such a horrible brother.”

I shake my head and fold my arms on top of the table, leaning forward onto them. “No, you’re not. You talk to her a lot. You always worry about her.”

“I do. I think about her all the time.” He frowns and props his chin on his fist. “I just have a bad feeling, Hadley. I don’t want to lose my sister. She’s one of my best friends.”

“I know you don’t. Why don’t you go visit her soon?”

“I want to.”

“Maybe for Easter next weekend? What are you doing then? Why don’t you drive down there?”

The waitress brings our dinners. Rod ordered a steak with fries and I ordered a chicken Caesar salad. He rolls his eyes.

Puzzled, I ask, “What?”

“Are you watching your weight? Really?”

“I wanted a salad. The dressing is fattening, so I guess I don’t care about the fat content today.”

“Uh, huh. Wilder probably wants something to grab onto when he’s—”

I widen my eyes at him. “Please don’t finish that statement.”

Rod laughingly shakes his head as he cuts his steak. “I was going to say when he’s
hugging
you. You’re paranoid.”

“You’re crude.”

“I’ve been told that, too.” He grins at me and opens his mouth to show off his chewed food.

I wrinkle my nose at him. “There are so many words I can use to describe you, Gregory Rodwell.”

“All starting with
awesome
and
well-endowed.
”

I giggle and stab a forkful of lettuce and chicken. “Yep, but seriously. Go see Eden. Remind her of how insane you are. I know she’d love to see you.”

“I will. I’ll surprise her.”

“I love it.”

His negligible twang returns. “I’ll call my mom to make sure that Eden will be home. It’s always good to check. Since she moved back home, my mom has been hovering over her like a hawk. That’s not sitting well with Eden at all, so maybe she made plans to get the hell out for the day.” Rod stops to take a drink of his beer before he asks, “What about you? What are you and the Finnster doing next weekend?”

“He’s taking me to his mother’s in Delaware.”

“That sounds…fun.”

“Very.”

“Is there going to be a bunch of people there?”

“No. A couple of his sisters. Simone, probably. Chrishelle, I think. Leighton is in Texas, so she most likely won’t be there. He has a stepbrother, but I don’t think he’ll be there.”

“Will she make you sleep in separate rooms?”

“I’ve never stayed there, so I don’t know where his mom, Julie, will want us to sleep.”

“Well, he
is
a good little Catholic boy and he goes to Mass every weekend.”

“Yes, he does.”

“If he’s so devout, how come he’s okay with wanting to live with you and having premarital sex, but he’s not okay with marrying you? Don’t they frown upon that?”

“Yes. I don’t know why he is okay with those, but then he’s against me being on the Pill.” I freeze mid-bite. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I let that slip out?

Rod drops his knife and fork, causing loud clattering to fill the room; once again drawing attention to our table.

“Holy shit! Are you serious?”

I whip my head around to survey the damage. There are six or seven other people in the room and they are all staring at us. They must think this is Rod’s encore performance following his hose job. Shit.

“Keep your voice down!” I whisper angrily.

His eyes swoop around our area before he whispers back, “Are you shitting me?”

“Why did I just tell you that? Please don’t say anything, Greg,” I plead. “If Finn knew I told you that, he’d be so pissed.”

“I can’t believe he agrees with that. That’s kind of odd for him, isn’t it?”

“A lot of people don’t follow every teaching of their religions. Most people pick and choose what they want to abide by. That’s just one of the rules he follows.”

Rod scoffs, “Like that is such a hard rule for
him
to follow. He’s not the one who could get pregnant.”

“I guess not,” I concede.

“And you agreed to that? Why? You’re not Catholic.”

“No, I’m not. We talked about birth control and I mentioned it…  He didn’t force me not to go on it or anything. He told me about his views and I didn’t think it was really a big deal. I wanted to respect his wishes. His mom drifted away from Catholicism after her two divorces. His dad is also Catholic. Finn is a very spiritual soul. I suppose he should be with the way he risks his life all the time just for the rush. He teases fate and it is driving me insane.”

“Did he not want any of his former girlfriends to not be on the Pill either?”

“No. I asked him that. I’m the only one. He said he never was in a long-term, committed relationship before me, so he didn’t bring up his beliefs.”

“I don’t get it, Hadley.” Rod sets his knife and fork down much quieter this time and leans over his plate in an attempt to keep his voice down. “Why is he pushing his beliefs off onto you when you have no plans to join the Catholic Church, or he has no plans to marry you? And, how can he be so adamant about not having kids, but he deliberately risks knocking you up? Furthermore, how does he
not
get you pregnant?”

I grimace at his questions and at the direction of our conversation. “Forget I said anything, Rod.” I take a long sip of my lemonade and glance around the now-empty room.

He shakes his head emphatically and taps his finger on the shiny, wood table. “No way. You said he doesn’t want kids, but he doesn’t want you to use birth control, either? How’s
that
work?”

I avert my eyes from his scrutiny and anxiously play with my ponytail. “I didn’t say that. I said he doesn’t want me on the Pill.”

“I don’t get it.”

I look down at the table. “We use condoms and spermicide jelly, okay?” I whisper, beyond mortified I brought this up in a restaurant with Rod, of all people.

His tone is thick with ambiguity. “So, he’d rather use those than you being on the Pill and not having to use anything at all? That’s fu—unusual.”

“There are certain times when we don’t have to use anything.” I raise a closed hand to my face, trying to hide my embarrassment. I’m ready for my straightjacket. Why can’t I keep my fucking mouth shut?

Realization threads through his voice. “Oh!” I hesitantly glance up at him. He holds up his hands and cringes away from the table, quickly adding, “Enough said.”

“Thanks,” I mutter gratefully and pick up a forkful of food, requiring my mouth to do something else besides talking.

“Although, I think maybe deep down, he wants to get you pregnant.”

I nearly gag on lettuce. My eyes fly up to his face in disbelief. “What? That’s not true at all.”

He shrugs. “Just a thought.”

“There’s no way, Rod. He’d rather slit his wrists.”

“Okay, if you say so.” The waitress brings the checks and he snatches mine out of my hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Treating you. This dinner has been…educational. So, thanks.”

“Like I said, please don’t joke about what I just told you in front of Finn or Morgan. For one, I don’t want Finn to know I told you something so personal about us. And two, Morgan thinks I’m on the Pill and I haven’t corrected her assumption. If she knew, she’d use that as fodder to convince me to either try to get pregnant without Finn knowing, or to dump him. I wouldn’t do those things to him. I love Finn, Greg.”

As he pulls out his wallet, he looks at me, stunned, maybe, for almost a full minute before answering earnestly, “I won’t, Hadley. I promise. I’m flattered that you felt you could tell me this. Really.” Rod reaches over the table and clutches my hand, squeezing it. He releases my hand to dig out his credit card.

“Where’s Wilder’s dad?” he asks, thankfully changing the subject.

“Um, he lives outside of Baltimore. We’ll probably see him for Thanksgiving, if not before then. Henry is really cool.” The waitress stops by and collects our checks and Rod’s credit card.

Rod chuckles. “Is he anything like his son,
Finnigan?”

“No, he isn’t. Finn might punch you in the face if he hears you calling him that.”

“The way he was acting today, he just might.”

“Why doesn’t he like me anymore?”

“He does. I honestly don’t know what his problem was today.” I sit back in the booth. I contemplate my next thought, staring at Rod absently before finally speaking what’s on my mind. I take a deep breath. “You’re a guy.”

“Yes, another thing I’ve been told,” he says as the waitress returns his card and receipts.

“Is there something wrong with me?”

As Rod signs the slips of paper, he briefly looks at me. “No, why? Did Wilder say there was? If he did, I’ll—”

“You’ll what? Join his fan club? Date him? Make a porno with him?” I grin as he wads up a napkin and hurls it at me. I duck. “Hey! You’ve already sprayed beer all over me and ruined my shirt, now you’re throwing trash in my face. I’m feeling so much better about asking you if there’s anything wrong with me.”

“Why do you think there’s something wrong with you?” he asks, confusion heavy in his question and on his face. Why am I blabbing so much personal information to Rod? It’s like I have some sort of disease and I absolutely cannot stop. I talk to Morgan and Bethany, but I don’t usually take this bizarre detour into this level of Hell. Why is Greg Rodwell suddenly the only person I want to confide in?

“I feel like I’m not good enough for him. Like he should be with someone who doesn’t want the things I want, so he doesn’t feel pressured all the time. Despite his public persona, he’s a rather private person when it comes to his personal life, meaning: me. Sometimes I wonder if he’s lamenting staying with me because he sees what else he could have when all these women throw themselves at him.” I swallow and fight burgeoning tears. Why am I doing this? I’ve never opened up to Rod like this before. Is there a full moon out tonight? I’m not on my period. Everything and everyone has been so screwy today.