Chat Love (28 page)

“I have to go to the bathroom,” I snap at him, leaving the door open and rushing into my apartment. I assume that he’s intelligent enough to let himself in. Sure enough, I hear the sound of the front door closing just a few moments later.

I feel an overwhelming sensation of relief as I finally empty my bladder. As soon as the pressure is gone, I remember that Jackson is in my apartment. I honestly have no idea why he’s here, or what he wants to talk about, but I’m looking forward to finding out.

After I flush the toilet and wash my hands, I check my reflection in the mirror and brush my teeth in order to get rid of my coffee breath. I walk out of the bathroom and see Jackson staring at the painting he’d given me. I lean against the wall, watching him as he moves about my apartment, placing several cartons of Chinese food on my coffee table.

He finally notices my stare and meets my gaze. “I didn’t know if you ate dinner on your date, so I brought you food. I want to talk.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I want to apologize for being such an arse before.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Are you actually admitting that you were wrong?”

He chuckles nervously. “Yeah, I guess I am. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

We survey one another awkwardly and my stomach growls, breaking the silence.

“Would you like to eat?” Jackson asks. I nod, and we walk into the kitchen. “What can I help with?” he asks, and I hand him two glasses to fill as I gather silverware.

I walk back into the living room and quickly set the table for us. We both take a seat on the couch and Jackson begins to scoop food onto a plate for me.

“I didn’t know what you like, so I decided to just get a variety,” he explains as he places several different kinds of food on my plate.

“Are you trying to make me fat?” I ask, narrowing my eyes teasingly.

He glances down at my body and then looks at my face again. “You shouldn’t worry about your body; you’re perfect.”

I roll my eyes at him. “I see that you’re trying to charm me now?”

He leans toward me. “I might be; is it working?” I lean in close to him, pretending as though I’m about to kiss him, but I instead take a bite of egg roll at the last minute.

“Very sexy, Lucia,” he comments. “So how did your date go?”

I wipe my mouth with a napkin. “It was much better than I thought it would be.”

He cocks his head and takes a sip from his cup. “Why? Are you planning to see him again?”

“No; we both decided that it would be best to remain friends.”

He smiles and I can sense relief on his face. “Just friends? Is he really that much of a tosser?” he nudges me with his elbow.

I roll my eyes. “No, actually he’s a really great guy.”

He looks at me with confusion. “What was the problem, then?”

I bite my lip and look him in the eye. “There wasn’t any chemistry between us.”

Smirking, he says, “Blimey. Poor lad.”

For a moment, we stare at one another, and I fight the urge to kiss him. Trying to distract myself, I ask him a low voice, “Why did you act the way you did this morning?” In my head I chant to myself,
Please say you were jealous, please say you were jealous, please say you feel this too.

He opens his mouth to answer when my phone chimes to tell me that I have a text message. I check my phone and find a message from Autumn, reminding me that she’ll be spending the night out this evening. I quickly thank her for letting me know and turn back to Jackson, waiting for his answer.

Jackson averts his eyes. “I already apologized. Can’t we just let it go?”

I’m disappointed by his answer, but I decide to just accept his apology. After all, I’m lucky to have received an apology at all from Jackson Foster.

“Fine. However, since you were such an ass today, I get to choose the movie that we’ll watch while we eat. Deal?”

He chuckles, “OK, deal. Why do I feel like I should be nervous about this?”

I move my plate from my lap and place it on the couch as I rise to my feet. I pick up my copy of
Moonstruck
and insert the DVD into the player, obscuring Jackson’s view with my body. As I return to my seat on the couch, Jackson asks which movie I’ve chosen, but I decide to keep it a surprise.

“I’ll give you a hint,” I say. “I used to watch this movie with my family every Sunday when I was growing up. It’s an old favorite.”

I turn and see him staring at me, noticing the tenderness of his expression. “In that case, I’m excited to watch it with you,” he says, smiling sweetly and taking my hand in his.

The sound of the movie comes on and Jackson pulls away, focusing on his dinner and the movie.

My recent dates have left me feeling discouraged. I never would have suspected that even the people seeking committed relationships online would find ways to play games. Chat Love has brought me nothing but disappointment and frustration, and I’m reaching the point of wanting to abandon the site altogether. Even Jack is disappointing me, because he still hasn’t asked me out. He’s confessed strong feelings for me, and we get along so well; I’m beginning to wonder if he isn’t just playing a game of his own.

Since the wedding, I have been trying to avoid spending extra time with Jackson, just to help keep me from getting attached. I’ve been making an effort to go on more dates with men from Chat Love, but each date just seems to leave me more annoyed than the last. Meanwhile, I can barely keep my mind from thinking about Jackson and Jack—and I hate the fact that I want two men but can’t have either one.

It doesn’t help that I can’t discuss my frustrations with anyone, because all of my friends think that Chat Love is wonderful. Danni and Ian both love the site, Wayne is a hopeless romantic, Corey is falling in love with a woman, I’ve barely seen Autumn since she started sneaking away to date a mystery man, and Gabriella would just throw it in my face. Essentially, I have no outlet.

Today is a sunny Saturday afternoon, and I have plans to go to a Yankees game with Skyler. I never turn down an opportunity to see the Yankees play, and I’m excited to just relax and have a beer. I’m also hoping that I’ll be able to talk to Skyler about possibly quitting Chat Love, because I’m honestly getting sick of the site. Even though she’s biased, she has still been more supportive than any of my other friends throughout this entire process, and I know that she’ll be honest in sharing her opinion.

I am wearing my Derek Jeter jersey and looking forward to watching a good game. There aren’t many things better than enjoying greasy food, good beer, and handsome men, all in the midst of my favorite sport.

While I’ll be at the game, Autumn is going to be out on another date with her mystery man. While I’m excited that she’s happy, I’m also offended that she wants to hide her personal life from me; it only makes me more curious.

The buzzer rings and I skip to answer it, excited to see Skyler.

“Hello, lady!” I sing into the intercom.

I hear a deep cough and a man’s voice answer, “It’s Jackson.”

I open the door and see Jackson leaning against the door ledge with his arms crossed in front of his body. His hair is messy, his eyes are shining with amusement, and he has his signature grin plastered across his face.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him, genuinely curious.

“Why, I’m here to go watch the Yankees play, of course,” he replies with a smirk.

Suddenly it all makes sense; Skyler had been planning from the beginning for Jackson to take me to the game. He is wearing dark ripped jeans and a blue plaid shirt with the first two buttons of the shirt undone to show the top of his chest and throat. The sight of him makes me angry at Skyler for setting this up without telling me and angry at myself for wanting him again—but I just smile and hold open the door, inviting him inside.

“So Skyler gave you the tickets?” I ask. He smirks and nods.

I roll my eyes. “She would.” He just laughs.

I excuse myself to my bedroom and dial Skyler’s number on my cell phone, pacing back and forth as I wait for her to answer. Finally, I hear her voice offer a timid greeting.

“Don’t be mad; you’ll have a great time, I promise!”

I hiss, “I just wish you would’ve told me about this sooner!”

She quickly replies, “If I’d have told you, I know that you would’ve found some excuse to skip. Consider it a gift; I know the two of you are crazy about each other, and I’ve just handed you an ideal date. Go for it.”

“Go for it?” I ask. “Sky, this is Jackson, remember? There’s no use trying to read him. This is getting way too complicated. Plus, what about Chat Love? Doesn’t this kind of contradict everything you’ve been telling me to do so far?”

She argues, “Chat Love is there to help you find someone, but you’ve already found Jackson. So go and enjoy your time with him! I already can’t believe that you’re spending this much time on the phone with me, instead of out on your date with him.”

I sit on my bed, still not fully convinced. “OK, but what about Jack?”

“Look, I know that you feel a connection with him, but Jack isn’t exactly making any moves to see you, is he? Like I said, take advantage of the opportunity you have right now.” I hear Dave saying something in the background, and Skyler replies quietly. “Look, I have to go. Face the facts: you like Jackson. Go enjoy your date, and I’ll see you on Monday.” I hear a click as she ends the call.

I remain seated on my bed, thinking. Skyler does have a point, and it’s not exactly a secret that Jackson and I like one another. Maybe she’s right, maybe I have been ignoring opportunities that are practically in my lap. I always enjoy my time with Jackson, and we have been slowly developing a friendship, even going so far as to share deeply personal secrets. I feel emotionally comfortable with him, and it may be time for me to actually act on that.

I take a few deep breaths to calm myself and then walk out of my bedroom to see Jackson waiting patiently on the couch. He looks my way as I enter the room and gives me a little smile.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

I nod my head. “Yeah, let’s do this.”

We walk out of my building and I begin heading in the direction of the subway, but Jackson stops me.

“My car is over there,” he says, nodding in the direction of a light blue 1966 Mustang parked near the curb. My mouth falls open as I follow him over to the car, climbing in as he holds the door open for me. He has no idea, but I’m climbing into my dream car, and I’m thrilled.

Jackson shuts the door and quickly walks around to the driver’s side, climbing in and starting the engine. He turns the radio on and I hear Dave Matthews Band—one of my favorites—playing softly

We are both silent during the ride to the stadium, and I’m just enjoying the ride. I’m beginning to think that Skyler has been right all along about Jackson. I’ve grown close to him over the past few months, and I’ve come to respect the side of him I hadn’t previously known. Sure, he still has his asshole moments, but he’s also proven that he’s a great man capable of kindness and affection.

When we arrive at the ballpark, I am thrilled to discover that our seats are located directly behind the dugout. As I’m sitting down, I catch a glimpse of Derek Jeter and squeal with girlish delight. Jackson laughs and takes his seat. I see Jackson’s leg shaking, his jaw clenched, and he keeps running his fingers through his hair.I can tell that he’s nervous and it makes my heart flutter; I’m hoping he’s looking at this as a date. Maybe he is finally ready to give an actual relationship a try.

I notice him looking at me, and I cock my head out of curiosity.

“Are you OK? You’ve been kind of quiet so far,” he says.

I bite my lip and look down at my hands. “I’m fine,” I say, chuckling quietly. “I was just surprised by Skyler’s setup. It caught me off guard.” I look up at him and his face breaks into a grin as he laughs loudly.

“Don’t worry, I was too,” he replies with a wink. “Skyler isn’t exactly good at keeping secrets, and she kept mentioning how she thinks we’d make a cute couple.” His mention of the word “couple” causes my breath to catch in my chest. “But don’t worry,” he continues, “I told her the truth.”

“The truth?” I ask, suddenly worried.

“Yeah, I told her that we’re friends. That’s the truth, right?” he asks.

My heart sinks as he looks toward the field. I try to catch a glimpse of his eyes, hoping to find some sort of clarification in their expression. Does he just want to be friends or does he want more? As I turn to watch the players taking the field, my thoughts turn to Jack. Although he hasn’t actually asked me out on a date, he’s also never tried to hide his feelings for me, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s a better choice than the man sitting next to me now.

After a few more silent moments, Jackson rises to his feet.

“I’m hungry; do you want anything to eat or drink?” he asks, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.

He is avoiding eye contact, and I’m frustrated by his sudden evasiveness.

“Yes, a slice of pizza and a beer, please,” I say, thanking him. He gives me a nod and walks away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

When he returns balancing a slice of pizza, two hot dogs, a basket of french fries, and two beers, I reach out to help him. The uncomfortable tension is still present, and we eat in silence, watching the game. A few beers later, however, and the tension has dissipated as we return to joking, laughing, and cheering loudly. Unfortunately, we’ve also returned to flirting with one another, and I find myself struggling once again to maintain my composure.

After we watch the Yankees win the game, Jackson leads me to his car, swearing on the Queen’s life that he’s fine to drive. I have no trouble believing him, because I know from experience that his British body is capable of handling a lot of beer. As he drives us home, he occasionally places his hand on my thigh, giving me goose bumps.

As we near my block I realize that the night is ending and begin to feel an overwhelming sadness. I’ve been having a great time with Jackson, and I’m not quite ready for it to end. He slows to a stop in front of my apartment building. For a few seconds we remain still and silent, but I finally turn to look at him. I see him staring at me intently, his eyes darkening as he bites his lower lip.