Cherished (38 page)

He wiped his mouth and tossed his napkin down, his appetite gone. “Shut up.”

“You’re forty years old. How long are you going to flit around
with dumb women who you don’t care about? Is that your lifestyle now?”

“Is that
your
lifestyle?”

“My lifestyle is a private one. I also have a teenager I’m doing my best to raise into a real human being. Don’t you think she deserves to see her uncles with women who aren’t Gwen or her own bitch of a mother?”

“Oh, so it’s my job to do that?”

“Yes. Kelsey was a mistake. You think you’re the first person who had a shitty marriage? This woman is the first I’ve seen you show a real interest in since you brought Kelsey home.”

“I don’t want to have this conversation with you.”

“I know you don’t. And you know why. Because you’re being a punk and a coward and making excuses about it.”

“I haven’t punched you in the face in a while. It might be time.”

“If you think you can do it, go on ahead.”

“Um…is there anything else I can bring you?” The server looked back and forth between them nervously.

“An espresso please. Don’t worry, I won’t make him bleed all over these lovely hardwoods.” Jonah smiled at her charmingly and Levi rolled his eyes.

Chapter 14

When Levi came over she was on her front lawn building a snowman with Miles, Adrian and Gillian’s fourteen-year-old son.

She waved a mittened hand and ducked the snowball Miles had lobbed while her attention was elsewhere.

He smiled at her and her heart lifted as it always did when she saw him. “Hello there. I hope you’re not going to stand out in the snow in those shoes.”

Miles wrapped a scarf around the snowman’s neck.

“Hogwarts snowman?” Levi grinned.

“Do you really think a snowman on my lawn would be Slytherin? Puhleeze. Levi, this is Miles, Miles, this is Levi.”

Miles looked to Daisy carefully before he smiled at Levi. Sweet boy, that one.

“I would have worn my snowman-making shoes if I’d known this was on the day’s menu.” Levi reached out and pulled her hat lower to cover her ears.

“Miles is hanging out with me until his dad gets back.”

“Mum made him because he drives back and forth between our
house here and his old place in West Seattle.” Miles did that one shoulder shrug his father was so good at and it made Daisy grin.

“I’m going to run home and grab a pair of boots suitable for snowman making. I’ll be back shortly.” He ducked to kiss her and it made her happy.

“So who is that guy?” Miles worked on the second snowman as he spoke. It had dumped an uncharacteristic amount of snow two days before and it was cold enough to stick around, though thankfully the roads were clear.

“That’s my boyfriend.”

“He’s all right. Got a nice car.”

“He totally does have a nice car. You can’t hear anything when you’re inside it.”

“Dad says the kind of car a dude drives says something about him. I say yeah, it says how much money he has.”

Daisy laughed and kept packing snow. “He’s a lawyer so I guess he’s got a few pennies to spare on a nice car.” She had a Mini Cooper, which got her where she needed to go and was totally cute too. But Levi’s big, dark, luxury-on-wheels BMW was another league of vehicle.

“I’m saving now. Only two more years until I get to drive.”

Daisy loved how despite the fact that Adrian was a rock star, they were raising Miles to be down-to-earth and work for what he wanted.

They talked about cars until Levi returned dressed far more appropriately for the weather. She had to pause and look at him a few times because he looked so gorgeous. Boots and jeans, a fisherman’s sweater and a watch cap pulled down over his ears. She wanted to lick him from head to toe.

Levi talked to Miles about school and his studies and Miles’s shyness began to wear off as he got used to Levi. It was lovely. And normal. It made her happy.

When Adrian came back to pick Miles up he gave Levi a long
look. She figured Gillian had told him at least a little, though she knew Gillian wouldn’t have spilled any secrets, even to Adrian.

“Adrian Brown, Levi Warner.”

Adrian held his hand out and shook Levi’s as the two men gave each other the look as she and Miles watched. She had no doubt Levi recognized Adrian. One had to be a hermit who never got online or turned a radio on to not recognize the voice or face. Adrian was a musician. A very popular one. It was still odd, getting used to having him as a friend. She’d come around a corner and he’d be standing there and she had one of those ohmigod-Adrian-Brown-is-standing-right-there moments. And when his family and all Gillian’s friends got together it was even worse because his sister was a rock star too. They were down-to-earth people, but it was still sort of cool.

“Gotta hit the road, kid. Your mum’s expecting us.” He looked to Daisy. “Appreciate your hanging out with Miles today.”

She looked to Levi. “Gillian has the flu so we decided to give her a few hours’ quiet this morning.”

“Next stop is Mary’s. She’s been making soup today.” Adrian put a hand on his son’s shoulder. “It’s good to get in with these women, Levi. One of them is an amazing cook. Another one is an amazing pastry chef. This one here is an incredible artist as well as a great friend.” He winked at Daisy who blushed.

Levi took her hand and squeezed. “Good to know.”

And they were off, leaving her alone with Levi so he pulled her into a hug and kissed her before heading back inside.

“How about some hot chocolate? Or tea maybe?”

“Tea would be really good.”

She bustled around, taking his coat and hat, laying the hat and gloves near the fireplace to dry. “Sit, I’ll start it now.”

“So tell me about your meeting on Wednesday. With Mark.”

“He offered me a spot in a three-artist show he’s doing at his gallery in the fall.” She grinned, still thrilled about it.

He stood and moved to her, pulling her into a hug and her feet left the ground as he spun. “Congratulations. That’s wonderful news.” He kissed her soundly and put her down.

“I have several pieces already done for it. He’s going to come out to the studio in a month or two. He knows your mother, said she was an avid collector. Is that where you got it from?”

He got that look, the one he got whenever she mentioned his family, and it pissed her off. Was she his girlfriend or not? Why did he seem so freaked about her meeting them? Or even knowing about them? Unless they were all like his sister-in-law he swore wasn’t like his family.

“Things are beginning to really take off for you. I’m thrilled.” No mention of his mother.

“Will you be there? At the opening?” She shouldn’t have asked, but then she got mad at herself for thinking that. Why shouldn’t she? She’d ask any other man she was dating and in love with.

He hesitated and she realized they were actually going to have to talk about it. Like right then.

“So, your brother, the one you had lunch with the other day. Is that Jonah? The oldest?”

She busied herself with tea prep.

“Yes, of course I’ll be at your show. That’s first. And yes, that was Jonah.” He shouldn’t have hesitated. She heard it and things were uncomfortable now when they’d been nice and easy up to that point.

This little house was a comfort to him. A place he could go and relax and just be. She gave him that. But with this unsaid stuff between them it was less so.

“It would have been nice to have met him. Jonah, I mean.”

“Well you were at a business meeting. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

She turned and he hated the way he felt.

“Okay. So when is it that I do get to meet your family?”

“You met Mal.”

One of her brows shot up. “By accident. And it went sooo well.”

“Seems to me that’s a good reason for you not to meet them. Why are you so curious about them anyway?”

“Because they’re part of your life. I want to know you, I want to know your family.” Her face fell and he felt like an asshole.

“You do know me. I’m here with you now.”

“I’ve invited you to dinner at my family’s house twice now and you’ve been busy. I ask about your family and you look like you swallowed a bug. I get it. I just want to know if you’re always going to be busy.”

“What do you mean?”

Was he going to make her say it?

“Never mind. You should go home. I’ll see you later this week.”

“No. Say it. There’s too much unsaid so far. What do you mean?”

“I mean, Levi, is this something real? This thing we have? Because it feels real to me. And I can’t bear the idea of having you run interference between me and your family because you don’t feel the same.”

“Of course it’s real.”

“So then why can’t I meet your family? Why are you so hesitant to meet mine? If we’re real and in a relationship, why do I feel like you’re hiding me?”

He pushed to stand. “I don’t hide you.”

“Really? All right then, I’ll be ready for you to pick me up tomorrow.”

“For what?”

“For your family dinner.”

“You wouldn’t even have a good time. Hell, Daisy,
I
don’t even have a good time and they’re my family.”

“Do they know about me?”

He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Jonah does. Obviously Mal does.”

“My parents know about you. My friends know about you. Do your friends know about me?”

“What’s brought all this on? We’re here together. Clearly I want to be here. I’m not seeing anyone else, nor do I want to. I’m a forty-year-old man; I don’t fill my parents in on my romantic life like that.”

“You’re so full of shit.” She shook her head. “You see your family weekly. You have lunch with your brother, who you told me is like your best friend.”

“And he knows about you.”

She bit her lip. She never gave ultimatums. Ever. They were silly. She didn’t want to say or do anything to drive Levi from her life. She liked him in it. Hell, she loved him in it.

But she really just didn’t think she could bear it if she stayed with him and he continued to hide her like a dirty secret.

“You make me feel special, Levi.” She walked to her kitchen sink to look outside.

“Because you are special.”

She closed her eyes a moment.

“When you touch me, so gentle even when you’re firm. Even when you’re using a crop on me—you touch me like I’m precious. No one has ever touched me like that.”

He moved to her, putting his arms around her, his front to her back.

“How can you doubt you’re special to me?” He kissed her neck. “If you know how I feel every time I touch you?”

“Because it’s all a lie if you don’t treat me that way all the time.”

Once she said it aloud, she knew it was true.

“What is it you want from me? We’ve only been together a few months. Are you expecting marriage this early on?”

She spun, pulling herself from his embrace. “Don’t. You’re disrespecting us both to play that game. I’m not asking for you to marry me. I’m asking you to own what we have in public. I’m asking to be a part of the life you have when you’re not off work
or here at home on the island. You have this whole other life you seem totally determined not to let me be part of.”

“I’ve been with you in public many times. In fact that’s when you met Mal.”

“I don’t think that example helps you.”

“What is this? Just say what you want.”

“I want you to be with me. Openly. I want to be part of your life. I don’t want to feel like your filthy secret.”

“What we do in the bedroom is no one’s business.”

She sought patience, counting to ten before she spoke again. “I didn’t say I wanted you to tie me up and whip me in the middle of Pioneer Square. Don’t try to play lawyer ball with me. I’m young, but I’m not stupid. I get it, I get that you have this important family and all. I get that you have traditions to live up to and I respect that. It’s a good thing. But why can’t I be part of that? Are you ashamed of me?”

“How can you say that?”

“When you seem to go out of your way to avoid bringing me around your family and friends. That’s how I can say that. Is it that I’m young? Or inked? Not blonde and perfect with big horse teeth like that dumbass your brother married?”

He laughed and she wanted to join him. But she didn’t. Her heart was breaking because the way he avoided the subject, even when they were fighting about it and on the verge of something awful, made her sick inside.

“Have you looked in the mirror lately? That you’d ever compare yourself to a woman like Gwen and find yourself less attractive is mind-boggling. You’re stunning. You’re individual and vibrant and you own what you have. There’s no comparison.”

She smiled and reached up to brush his hair off his forehead before she turned to pour the tea.

“So what is it then? Tell me.”

“It’s nothing. You’re making stuff up.”

“Oh my god! Levi Warner, you owe me some honesty. I’m being honest with you right now. I’m telling you how I feel. I’m exposing my fears and worries. I expect some damned truth. Anything less is a charade and I don’t want to
play
love with you. I love you. I love you enough to demand that you show me some truth.”

He paused. “You can’t love me. Not yet.”

“Oh really? Tell me what it is. Why you won’t introduce me to your family then.”

“We don’t bring dates to Sunday dinner. We bring fiancées and wives. That’s how it works. You’re not any of those yet. Over time you’ll be invited to things. But it’s early.”

She stared at him. “Is it my age or my skin tone?”

He threw his hands up. “Christ, Daisy. I know Gwen was a raging bitch, but this isn’t the forties. It’s not your race. But you’re young. She’s going to think you’re a passing fancy. Being with one of us comes with all sorts of stuff. I’m actually saving you from it.”

“So you hiding me from them is for my own good?”

“You could be a lawyer with all this fast-talking.”

“You just don’t like it that I don’t buy your crap. Look, I’m not going to live in a closet. I’m not going to be your Bainbridge Island girlfriend. I’m not going to pretend not to know you when I see you in public. Or have you get a panicky look on your face if I bump into you and you might have to introduce me to someone. I’m with you. Or I’m not with you. But I’m never anyone’s secret.”