Cherished (17 page)

She waved her hand in dismal. “Bad choice of words. Let’s not get sidetracked here. I realize I’m supposed to be submissive. I know I signed a contract—a document you’ve basically said was a ruse. So am I to abide by it? How much of this whole thing is…fake?”

He scowled and stalked to the bed, sitting on the edge in front of her. “Not a damn thing here is fake. I did what I felt I had to do to get you here. And no, I don’t want you to leave. I can’t be any more explicit than that.”

She lowered one of the chocolates back to the tray. “I need to know what’s happening here, Xander. Garon and Sebastien have both hinted that they have feelings for me, that you have feelings for me. You told me that you were attracted to me all those years ago. You have to understand how very confused I am right now. Am I supposed to feel guilty over the fact that I have very real feelings for the men you have taking care of me? Men you’ve said yourself will be having sex with me?”

“I’m more interested in your feelings for me,” Xander said quietly.

She swallowed hard and summoned her courage. “I think I’m in love with you.”

He didn’t look entirely thrilled with her statement.

“You think?”

She took another deep breath and prayed she didn’t regret putting herself on the line like this.

“I’m pretty sure. If you heard my conversation with Garon, you already know the reasons I was uncertain. I’ve always been a little in love with you, but I worried it was youthful infatuation or that it would pass. But being here with you…It just feels right. It feels so perfect. Like it was meant to be.”

She broke off, swallowing rapidly. She was getting carried away and sounding sillier by the minute. She lowered her head in embarrassment.

Xander reached out to cup her chin and he gently tilted it upward until she faced him again. “Meant to be is right, Talia. You were meant to be mine.”

“But what does that mean?” she whispered. “I don’t fit into your world, Xander.”

He emitted a harsh laugh. “What world? My world is what I make it. My world is here while the battle rages on in my country. Things may never be resolved there. Whatever happens, I want you here. With me.”

“And the others? How am I supposed to feel about them? I can’t do what it is you want me to do and not have my emotions involved. I realize I’m new to sex, but it means something to me.”

Xander smiled. “They are rather emotionally involved with you too, my love.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

She couldn’t quite wrap her head around that one.

“I trust them implicitly. I trust them with my safety. I trust them with your safety. I know they would never betray me. Knowing they have feelings for you only solidifies my confidence that they’ll never allow anything to happen to you.”

“You must know that I have to return. I mean, to my mother. I can’t just stay here forever.”

“Of course not,” he soothed. “I will, of course, take you to Paris to visit your mother. I had a long talk with her today on the phone. She sends you her love. I promised her I’d take good care of you.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me that you’d reassure her. I don’t want her to worry over me.”

Xander reached for the tray and then walked it out of the bedroom and into the sitting area. When he returned, there was a
determined gleam in his eyes that sent butterflies tumbling through her chest.

“What I want is to make love to you, Talia. I’ve waited long enough. No others. No distractions. Just you. And me.”

Even as he spoke, he put his hands on the bed and leaned toward her, forcing her back with his body. She landed with a soft thump and he hovered over her, hunger burning brightly in his gaze.

He put one hand between her legs and slowly circled her opening with one finger. His voice was full of tenderness as he spoke. “Are you still sore?”

She shook her head. “I’m fine, Xander. I want you to make love to me again. This last week has driven me crazy. I want you inside me.”

He let out a groan. “And I want to be there. More than you can possibly know. This last week may have driven you crazy, but it’s been hell for me. I would do nothing to hurt you, though. I wanted to make sure you could take me without discomfort the second time.”

She reached up to pull him down to meet her lips. She couldn’t and wouldn’t summon any guilt over the fact that not a half hour ago, Garon had kissed her in a manner that was very different from their prior interactions. Xander had all but encouraged this…whatever it could be called…between her and the men he trusted. She was through stressing and letting the worry weigh down on her. From now on, she was going with the flow and just accepting.

Maybe this wasn’t the most traditional arrangement in the world. But she was adored and pampered by men who genuinely seemed to care about her. They treated her with respect and not as the mistress or whore she’d been so prepared to label herself as.

They treated her like a woman they…loved.

“You have too many clothes on,” she whispered when he pulled his mouth from hers.

He chuckled. “There you go with the bossiness again. I’m beginning to think we should amend that contract to submissiveness everywhere but in bed.”

“You don’t want someone who just lays here and takes it, do you?” she teased.

“Hell no,” he muttered.

He got up on his knees to shed his shirt. Then he stepped off the bed long enough to get his pants off. She turned on her side, surveying his nudity with avid appreciation.

He lifted a brow at her close scrutiny. “Like what you see?”

“You’re beautiful,” she said simply.

“You’re the beautiful one,” he murmured as he pushed back onto the bed and over her.

He started at her forehead, kissing every inch of her face. He kissed her eyelids, her nose, each cheek and nibbled down both sides of her jaw in turn. From there, he covered her neck, alternating light nips and longer sucking motions she was sure would leave marks.

“I’m going to taste every inch of your body,” he said. “Worship you like the goddess you said you’ve been treated as.”

“Oh,” she breathed. “No complaints here.”

He laughed softly. “Somehow I didn’t imagine there would be.”

He paid extra attention to her breasts, patiently licking, kissing and sucking until she was nearly frenzied with anticipation.

It was evident he had every intention of drawing things out, and she wasn’t sure she was going to survive it.

He closed his mouth over one nipple, sucked it gently between his teeth and then pulled upward until it was taut. Then he let it go and it puckered to unbearable hardness. He did the same to the other, giving it a little more bite that had her shuddering with delight.

“Xander,” she gasped. “You’re making me crazy. Please. I want you inside me now.”

“Patience, my love,” he said as he lazily rolled his tongue down her midsection to her belly button.

If he so much as touched any part of her below the waist with his mouth, she was going to come before he ever got inside her and she wanted him deep when she came apart.

“Xander, I’m close,” she whispered urgently. “I want you inside me. I want to know how it feels. The other night was so intense. It was uncomfortable at first and I don’t really remember much of the rest. Show me how good it can be. Please.”

“Ah hell,” he groaned. “How can I resist you?”

He slid his hand between them and through her damp folds before sliding one finger inside her. She tightened all over and already she could feel the impending build of her orgasm. She truly wasn’t going to last very long.

“Stop me if this hurts,” he said in a firm voice.

“I will.” Over her dead body. There was no way she was stopping this train.

He rubbed his erection over her clit and then downward until he was rimming her opening. He tucked the head of his cock just inside her, stretching the entrance.

She held her breath, waiting, her entire body jittery with anticipation.

Then he pushed slowly inward. She let out a long sigh as she stretched to accommodate him. He felt enormous inside her. There was so much friction. It was…wonderful.

She stirred restlessly, the ache inside her only intensifying. She felt itchy, like her skin was alive. She wanted to wrap her legs around him and force him deep. Hard. Fast. She wanted him to lose that tightly held control.

It was as if he always held himself on a leash, never allowing himself to fully let go.

“More,” she said, unable to articulate just exactly what she
needed. But she knew she needed more. Definitely more. So that would have to do for now.

He seemed to understand because he withdrew and then thrust deep, with more force this time, though it was still evident he was holding himself in check.

“Xander, please. I’m not going to break. I’m not a virgin anymore. For God’s sake, I’ve been waited on hand and foot. I’ve taken more hot baths than any human should ever take in a week’s time. I’m completely and utterly healed from the first time. If you keep dragging this out, I swear to you I’m going to jump you, tie you down and have my wicked way with you.”

He stared at her in astonishment for a moment and then burst out laughing. After a moment, he grew serious again, but there was still a gleam of amusement in his eyes.

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure, I’m sure! Just do it already. I need it harder. Faster. I’m dying over here.”

With a growl that sounded eerily predatory, he hunched down over her, his body covering hers. He forced her legs farther apart with his thighs and then he began thrusting hard and fast. Rougher. Deeper. The slap of his hips against her thighs sounded loud in her ears.

Her entire body shook with the force of his possession.

The frenzy in which he took her lit fire to her senses. The orgasm that had quickly built fanned into a full-fledged inferno. Within seconds, she was pulled tighter than a rubber band at full stretch.

Closing her eyes, she gripped his shoulders, digging her fingers deep into his flesh.

“More,” she whimpered.

“I’m giving you every goddamn thing I have,” he rasped out. “Let go, Talia. Let go.”

She needed just a little more…He thrust hard and then lowered his head to nip at the flesh just below her ear.

As soon as his teeth sank into her neck, she was hopelessly over the edge.

Her cry was sharp, almost desperate. She clutched at his shoulders and arched her hips to meet him, wanting more, wanting closer, wanting him as deep as possible.

Ecstasy, sharp and unrelenting, shot through her veins. Her pulse pounded at her temples. She could hear her heart beating, could feel it pounding against her chest.

Finally all the tension left her in one quick explosive force. It was like cutting a taut line and experiencing recoil. Euphoria quickly replaced her earlier desperation and she sank into the bed with a deep, contented sigh.

Xander followed her down, blanketing her with his strong, warm body. Their legs were tangled and he was still deep inside her. A part of her.

He pulled her head close until she was tucked underneath his chin. She cuddled up to him, content to have him remain there, covering her. She felt secure. Safe. Protected. It was a heavenly feeling.

She was so euphoric and in such a postcoital haze that she blinked sleepily, her earlier fatigue she’d experienced at the pool returning with a vengeance.

“Just a little nap,” she murmured.

Xander smiled at how cute she was all cuddled up to him. She was warm and soft in his arms. All he could ever want.

After a long moment he stared down to find her sound asleep. He lowered his mouth to her forehead and pressed a kiss to her brow.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I know I have a hard time saying it. I know I hide behind the others. But I love you, and one day I’ll tell you when I’m no longer hiding behind anything or anyone.”

Chapter 17

Talia was alone in the bed when she woke a mere hour later. She stretched languidly and then smiled. She felt like a very satisfied cat. Stroked, petted until she purred. And Xander had most definitely made her very content.

As she rolled, she found a blossom next to a propped-up note.

Meet me downstairs. Wear nothing. The others will be present.

The simply worded message sent a surge of excitement and quickly shook the comfortable lethargy that had settled over her.

She was to wear nothing, but it didn’t mean she was simply going to roll out of bed and go down
looking
like she’d just rolled out of bed.

Hurrying to the bathroom, she swept her hair up into a bun so it wouldn’t get wet and then took a quick shower. Afterward, she rubbed scented lotion over her body, applied a light spritzing of her favorite perfume and then did her face moisturizing and makeup prep.

She took her hair down, brushing it in waves down her shoulders. Though nothing had ever been said beyond that first instruction for the day she arrived, she knew they preferred her hair down. They rarely missed an opportunity to stroke it or run their fingers through it.

Pleasing them made her happy. She glowed under their praise and approval. And they did everything in their power to make sure she was happy and provided for.

For the first time in so very long, she was free of the worries and stress that had plagued her since her mother’s diagnosis four years prior. All she had to worry about was following whatever directive was laid out to her and they’d been so undemanding when it came to her.

In a lot of ways it was freeing to be under the authority of someone else instead of being the primary decision maker in her life and the life of her mother.

She was…free.

Finished with university. Her mother was doing amazingly well. She was truly free to make her own decisions, live her own life.

A giddy thrill soared through her veins as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

What had begun as what she viewed as a six-month period “delay” in starting her new life in order to repay a debt had in a lot of ways been the impetus for a new lease on life.