Chiara – Revenge and Triumph (81 page)

I have lost her respect.
But if this bought her child security and freedom from being ostracized, she was willing to suffer that and more.

* * * 

The following morning, at first light, she took to the road. The countess had insisted that she ride with an escort. Captain Fiorini assigned Rinaldo and Baldaggio to that task. Like Chiara, each had an extra horse, with a bag of oats and barley to sustain their efforts. The excitement of the two young men for having been chosen abated by the afternoon of the first day when they realized that Chiara had no intention of slowing the blistering pace. When they protested, she told them they could turn back, that she released them of any obligations toward her, that this country was safe enough for her to continue alone, particularly if she again donned her clerical disguise. They did not complain again after that.

Three days later, as the sun sank into the western hills, they entered Monte Pulciano. At Palazzo Benincasa, she insisted on leaving the two young men there, sensing that their protests were only half hearted. She did not want any witnesses when she would fall into Alda’s embrace and cry, not out of despair, no — by then she was looking forward to carry Selvo’s child. It was his gift. She had reached this conclusion on the second day of riding. Having been offered a solution by Lady Maria on how to protect her child, her whole outlook to the prospect of becoming a mother had changed from despondency to joyful anticipation. No, she wanted to cry from the relief and comfort to share it with somebody she loved and trusted.

It was dark, when she reached Castello Gianbucca. The light through the windows cast faint streaks onto the grassy area in front of the house. She had just dismounted when Alda’s call "Chiara is back!" reached her. They both ran toward each other with outstretched hands and pressed their cheeks together. Pepe joined them briefly in their embrace.

"Oh, Chiara, I’m so glad you are back," exclaimed Alda, hugging her even more fiercely.

"So am I,
mamina
, so am I," she murmured, adding after a pause: "Alda, I’m pregnant,"

There was no reaction. "What did you say?"

"I’m with child."

Alda looked at her. "Did you get raped?"

Chiara pressed Alda’s head again against her. "No, I was with my sailor."

"But how? Did you marry him?"

Chiara let go. "No. Come inside. I’m hungry. I’ll tell you all, while I eat."

For the fourth time, she recounted in detail what happened, both in Piombino and on Elba, except this time, she told of spending the night alone with Selvo, hidden in a cave.

"And what are you now going to do, Chiara?" Alda questioned when she was finished.

She told them the scheme Lady Maria had unwittingly offered her as a solution. Pepe shook his head in disbelief.

"But won’t she sooner or later discover that?"

"Unlikely. She showed not the slightest interest in knowing the name of the prospective husband. I think she has washed her hands off me."

Alda smiled. "Chiara, I should not be surprised anymore, but I am. No matter what the problem, you always pull another rabbit out of the hat."

"She has done it from the very beginning," chuckled Pepe.

"I don’t want my child to suffer for my sins."

"And now, are you now going to stay here with us?"

"No, I want to go back to my home on Elba, give birth there, and bring up my child there … and I fervently wish that both of you will be with me, help me raise her, be her grandparents."

"Her? It could be a boy."

"I wish for a girl, but I’m happy if it’s a boy. Will you come with me? Be my support? … Please."

Alda hugged her again. "You’re a naughty girl, but I love you none-the-less. Yes, I’ll come with you, even if Pepino doesn’t."

"What do you mean?" protested Pepe. "I won’t stay here alone. And besides, I always wanted to have a grandchild."

"Oh, I knew that. I just wanted you to say it… And what about Veronica and Jacomo?" questioned Alda.

"I thought I would see them before the three of us go to Elba in six weeks or so. If I take two horses, I will only be gone for four days."

"Shouldn’t Veronica come with us?"

"No. She’s in love with Luigi. She’ll just pine for him if we take her away. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s married within the year. But that reminds me. I must write to Casa Medici, asking them to increase her investment with them to twelve hundred florins. That’s the size of the dowry I promised Lady Teresa."

"You really think that she’ll marry into nobility?"

"I’ve no doubt. She has all it takes to excel."

"Who would have believed that? Do you recall the spindly girl she was when we met her in Cagli?"

* * * 

A week later, Chiara called at Palazzo Baglione. She was tired of retelling her story, but had little choice. Lord Baglione, Lady Teresa, Veronica, Jacomo, and Luigi were all keen to hear it in full detail. Lord Baglione jokingly asked whether she would be willing to become his personal adviser on war stratagems.

Retiring to Veronica’s room after a long and tiring evening, she took the girl’s hand. "Veronica, I’ve to confess something to you that will disappoint you." She paused. Veronica looked at her anxiously. "Veronica, I’m with child… It is Selvo’s child, the slave of Casa Sanguanero. We spent the night together in the cave after Sanguanero fled, after they had discovered me on that hillock. And I was weak, gave in to my love. I gave him money so he could return to his wife and child far away."

As she spoke, the girl withdrew her hand, her eyes wide in shock. Then she averted her gaze and retreated to the wall.

"Veronica, you once said that you wanted to become like me, and I told you not to. When it came to live up to my noble ideals, to be firm and not yield to the blind temptation of love, I failed."

Veronica burst into tears and threw herself into Chiara’s arms.

"Please, forgive me, Chiara," she sobbed, hiding her head on Chiara’s shoulder. "I love you."

She stroked her back. "I love you too, and I hope we’ll still be sisters."

"Oh Chiara, I want that too… What will you do now?"

"I’ll go to Elba, where I can shield my child from suffering for my sins. I’ll not let my failings fall on my child. That’s the reason I’ll return to the seclusion of my castle, where I can shield it."

"I will come with you to help you. I will tell Lady Teresa that I cannot stay any longer."

Chiara could not help noticing the girl’s use of formal language.
She’s born for nobility.

"And if she wants to know the reason? … No, Veronica, you must stay here. If you tell the truth, my disgrace will become known to everybody and it will fall on you too. I’ll make sure that nobody except Alda, Pepe, and you will ever know that I had a child out of wedlock." She briefly explained her scheme. "It must be so for the protection of the child. In a few weeks you’ll receive a letter from me, telling you of my secret marriage to the second son of a minor noble, a marriage sprung from love, and a few weeks later, you’ll learn that he died in an accident, a fall from a horse, and that I have retired to Castello Nisporto on Elba. That will protect the child; it will protect you, not to speak of myself. So you must stay here and pretend to know nothing. Once, the letter about my marriage comes, you may hint that you knew about it, but that I asked you to keep it secret. Will you do this for me?"

"Yes, Chiara, I will do anything for you."

Chiara hugged her. "Thank you, Veronica… And besides, you’ve to live your own life. How are things with Luigi?"

The girl blushed. "He told me that he loved me and that once he has completed his first year at the university, he will ask his father for permission to marry me."

"There you see, another reason why you must stay here."

"But I want to visit you in Elba."

"You can accompany Jacomo during the summer break."

"Yes, I would like that… Will you tell Jacomo?"

"Oh yes, he’s my brother too. I owe it to him. I’ve asked him to accompany me on a walk tomorrow."

* * * 

She found confessing to Jacomo much harder. His look when he had seen her for the first time after her arrival told her that his feelings toward her had not changed. His eyes were glowing, even if his embrace was clumsy and restrained.

They were walking in the extensive open spaces within the walls of Perugia. He was telling her about his studies, how he enjoyed attending the lectures and consulting all the legal books at the university library. He proudly reported that several professors had praised him for his diligence.

She finally summoned up her courage. "Jacomo, I’ve to confess something that puts shame on me, that will disappoint you… When I recounted my story about what happened after Sanguanero found me on that hillock, I left out a vital portion that will change my life." She hesitated for a moment. "I’m with child. It is due in November. But for Veronica’s sake and your own, do not tell anybody. Only she, Alda, Pepe and you know."

He had stopped walking.

"The blonde man who was with Niccolo on that hillock behind Piombino, he did not ride away. He stayed behind with me, when I offered him freedom — he was a slave —"

"— Did he rape you? I will find him and kill him."

"No, Jacomo. He didn’t rape me. He was the man who had been kind to me on the Santa Caterina four years ago and, yes, he’s the man that I thought I loved —"

"— and he took advantage of you, the bastard."

"Jacomo, please listen. He didn’t take advantage of me. He was with me when I hid in that cave, in fact, it was him who found it. I then knew that I really loved him and one thing let to another. I gave myself to him. He didn’t force me. I don’t know what came over me. I lost all reason and gave in to my impulses. I even knew that he would leave the next day, to try to return to his country, find his wife and child. I gave him money… Jacomo, look at me. I failed you, but I still would like to be your sister."

Her plea brought forth her own tears. She wiped them with an embarrassed chuckle. "Will you still be my brother?"

"Chiara, I love you. I want to be more than your brother. I want to be your husband. Marry me, please. Even if you do it only for your child."

Her tears started flowing again. "Jacomo, you’re the most loyal brother that I could ever wish for. But I can’t accept your generous offer. This isn’t the right time for it. You may regret it later on."

"I’m not good enough, it’s that, isn’t it." His voice sounded bitter.

"Oh, Jacomo, how can you say that? Lord d’Appiano questioned me a few weeks ago what qualities a man needed to have that I would accept him as my husband when Lady Maria worked on me to let her initiate marriage negotiations. And you know what I told him? I listed all the qualities you have. In fact, when Lord d’Appiano doubted that such men existed, I mentioned you. I don’t care for nobility or status."

"Then marry me. Or are you hoping the slave will come back for you?"

"No, he won’t. I’m certain of that and besides, he’s already married… No, Jacomo, I can’t accept your offer now. It’s too early for you to ask me. I don’t want you to marry me out of pity or to rescue my reputation. It could make both of us unhappy."

"But I wouldn’t marry you out of pity. I love you. I’ve loved you since I first saw you in Cagli."

She could not help smiling and searched his eyes for several seconds. He held steady. "Jacomo, ask me again after the child has been born, … after you had a year to think about it, if by then you still want me."

"Oh, no fear. I will."

"Come, give me a hug."

He put his arms around her, holding her quietly. She felt glad.

"But how will you hide it? If it becomes known, the child will suffer. This is why you should marry me."

She told him her scheme.

"May I also admit that I knew the marriage was coming?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes, Jacomo." She hugged him spontaneously. "I’m so glad that you don’t despise me. You don’t know how important you are to me."

He held her, murmuring: "I love you, Chiara, and I will ask you again in a year’s time to become my wife."

32

Elba, September 1353

Selva, as I write this last chapter, you are almost two years old, my ray of sun every day. You have the blonde locks and dark blue eyes of your father. Alda predicts that you will be the most beautiful girl in the world. You already show the intelligence and independence of your mother, and wrap everybody around your tiny little finger. You babble the whole day long, sometimes imitating Pepe’s frown, sometimes questioning like Alda, sometimes making an important face like me, but most often smiling, giggling, and laughing. Alda says that you have the making of a great actress, like your mother, she adds winking. Both Pepe and Alda compete for who may spoil you next.

It has now been more than two years since I returned to Elba with Alda and Pepe. We left Chianciano in late April in the year of the savior 1351. The horse breeding at Castello Gianbucca that Pepe had started is run by a young couple from Chianciano. The Etruscan treasure is still in Palazzo Benincasa, except for the matching pair of amphoras which is displayed in the great hall here. I may sell the rest one of these days. Casa Medici is still keen on it.

Everybody believes that you are the child of a secret marriage to a minor noble near Chianciano who died in an accident shortly after the wedding. It is rather ironic that it was Lady Maria who unwittingly gave me that solution, and all of this must remain your secret. Only four people know: Alda, Pepe, Veronica and her brother, Jacomo.

 To my surprise, Lady Maria was very sympathetic when she heard about the death of your invented father and did her best to console me. I suspected this renewed her hope that she might now finally succeed in arranging a prestigious marriage with a noble family, particularly if she looked for a more mature candidate who himself might be a widower and therefore would not mind marrying a widow. In spite of her pleas, we stayed but a few days.