Children of Gebelaawi (19 page)

with trembling hands. He worked on, in despair, till his fingers

touched Humaam 's head. He fumbled his way to the sides of

the corpse and lifted it gently. He fell on his knees beside i t,

placing his hands on its head, his eyes closed in hopeless

misery, moaning fro m the depth of his being. He murmured:

- My forty years of life seem li ke a long illness as I kneel

beside your body, my son.

Qadri was standing on the other side of the corpse. Suddenly Adham stood up, looki ng at him with blind hatred, and said in a savage voice:

- Humaam wi ll go home on your shoulders.

Qadri was horrified and began to retreat, but Adham

rushed rou nd the corpse, caught him by the shoulder and

yelled:

- Carry your brother !

Qadri groaned:

- I can't.

- You were able to ki Ll him ...

- I can 't, Father.

- Don't call me 'father'; a man who kills his brother has no

father, no mother, no brothers.

- I can ' t.

He tightened his grip on him and said:

- A murderer must carry his victim.

Qadri tried to twist out of his grip, but Adham would not let

him. In a frenzy, Adham rai ned blows on his face, bu t he

nei ther dodged th em nor gave voice to the pain. Adham

stopped, then said:

- Don ' t lose any ti me; your mother is waiting.

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Children of Gebelaawi

Qadri shuddered at the mention of his mother and said:

- Let me disappear.

Adham pulled him towards the corpse saying:

- Come, let's carry him together.

Adham turned to the corpse and placed his hands u nder

Humaam's armpits whi le Qadri bent down and took his legs.

They lifted the body together and went slowly into Derrasa

Desert. Adham was so deep in painful thoughts that he lost all

sensati on, bu t Qadri went on suffering from a palpitati ng

heart and trembling limbs. His nose was filled by a pungent,

earthy smell, whi le the feel of the corpse crept up through his

arms and into his heart. The darkness around them was thick,

while on the horizon glimmered the lights of the unsleeping

town. Qadri felt that his despair was taking his breath away. He

stopped and said:

- I'll carry the body alone.

He put one arm under its back and one under i ts thighs, and

walked on with Ad ham following.

2 2 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When they neared the hut they heard Umayma's voice

aski ng anxiously:

- Have you found him?

Adham ordered her:

- Go inside ah ead of me.

He wen t before Qadri to the hut to make sure she was out

of sight. At the door Qadri stopped dead. His father motioned

him to go in but he refused, sayi ng in a whisper:

- I can ' t face her.

His father whispered angrily:

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Adham

- You were able to do something much worse.

But Qadri stayed where he was.

- No, this is worse.

Adham pushed him firmly i n front of him, forcing him to

move into the outer room. Then Adham sprang on Umayma

and with his hand stifled the scream that was about to break

from her lips. He said harshly:

- Don't scream, woman. We mustn't attract any attention

till we've sorted thi ngs out. Let's bear our fate patiently and

suffer in si lence. The evi l was born ofyour womb and my loins.

The curse lies on us all.

He held her mouth tight. She tried in vain to free herself

from his hand. She attempted to bite him, but could not. Her

breathing became irregu lar, her strength left her and she

fainted. Qadri stood holding the body, silent and ashamed,

staring at the lamp to avoid looking at her. Adham turned to

him and helped him to lay the body on the bed, then covered

it tenderly. Qadri loo ked at his brother's corpse lyi ng under its

sheet on the bed they had shared all their lives, and he knew

that there was no longer any place for him in this house.

Umayma moved her head and opened her eyes. Adham

hurried over to her, saying firmly:

- Mind you don ' t scream.

She made to get up and he helped her, warning her not to

make any noise. She tri ed to throw herself on the bed, but he

prevented her. She stood, defeated. Then she began relieving

her feeli ngs by teari ng out her hair, handful after handfu l.

Adham did not care what she did, but said roughly:

- Do what you like, but do it silently.

She said hoarsely:

- My son ! My son !

Adham said qui etly:

- This is his body; it is no longer your son nor my son. And

this is his murderer; ki ll him if you like.

Umayma beat her cheeks and said to Qadri savagely:

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Children of Gebelaawi

- The vilest ani mal doesn ' t do what you have done.

Qadri hung his head in silence, and Adham said:

- Is his life to be lost for nothing? In justice, you should not

live.

Umayma cried out:

- Yesterday hope dawned. We told him to go but he

refused. If only he'd gone ! If he hadn't been kin d and noble

and generous he wou ld have gone. Is this murder his reward?

How could you do it, you stone-hearted brute? You aren 't my

son any more, and I ' m not your mother.

Qadri uttered not a word, bu t he said to himself: ' I killed

him once but he is killing me every second. I'm not alive. Who

says I'm alive?'

Adham asked him rough ly:

- What shall I do with you?

Qadri said calm ly:

- You said I should not live.

Umayma cried:

- How could you bring yourself to kill him?

Qadri said hopelessly:

- It's no use bei ng sorry. I 'm ready to be punished. Death

will be easier than what I'm suffering.

Adham said angrily:

- But you've made our life worse than death too.

Umayma beat her cheeks and exclaimed:

- 1 hate this life. Bury me with my son. Why don 'tyou let me

howl?

Adham said with scorn and bitterness:

- Its not your vocal chords I'm worried about; I'm afraid

devil might hear us.

Qadri said:

- Let him hear what he likes; I don't care for life any more.

At that moment Idrees's voice came from near the front

door:

- Brother Adham ! Come here you poor thing.

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Adham

They all shuddered and Adham shouted:

- Go home, and mind you don 't provoke me!

Idrees replied in a loud voice:

- What a dreadful business! Your trouble has saved you

from my anger. But let's not talk like this. We're both afflicted.

You've lost your dearest, most precious son, and I've seen my

only daughter vanish. Our children were our comfort in our

exile, and they've gone. Come, my poor brother, let's comfort

one another.

So the secret was ou t! How? All at once Umayma was afraid

for Qadri. Adham said:

- Your gloati ng doesn't bother me. It's nothing beside my

agony.

Idrees protested:

-Gloati ng! Don ' t you know I cried when I saw you pull the

body out of the grave Qadri had dug for it?

Adham shouted furiously:

- Lousy spy!

- I didn't only cry for the victim bu t for the murderer too,

and I said to myself: ' Poor, poor Adham; you've lost two sons

in one night'.

Umayma began to howl, taki ng no notice of anyone, and

Qadri rushed suddenly out of the hut. Adham ran after him,

and Umayma wai led:

- I don 't want to lose both.

Qadri tried to attack ldrees, but Adham pushed him away,

then faced his brother defian tly and said:

- Don ' t provoke us!

ldrees said calm ly:

'

- You're a fool, Ad ham; you can 't tell a friend from an

enemy. You attack your brother to defend your son 's murderer.

- Get away from me!

ldrees laughed.

- As you wish. Accept my condolences; and goodbye!

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Children of Gebelaawi

l drees disappeared into the night. Adham turned to find

Qadri, and there was U mayma asking where he was. Adham

was alarmed and started peering i nto the darkness and calling

at the top of his voice:

- Qadri ! Qadri ! Where are you?

He heard ldrees echoing loudly:

- Qadri ! Qadri ! Where are you?

2 3 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Humaam was buried i n a tomb belongi ng to the Trust at Bab

ei-Nasr. His fu neral was attended by many acquaintances of

Ad ham, most of them fellow traders, a few of them customers

who liked his gentle character and straight dealing. ldrees

took it upon himself to attend the funeral; more than that: he

stood receiving condolences as uncle of the deceased. Adham

disapproved in si lence. The funeral procession i ncluded many

strongmen, procurers, thugs, thieves and bandits. At the

burial, ldrees stood over the tomb, encouraging Adham with

words of comfort which he endured patiently, making no

answer, the tears rolling down his cheeks. Umayma gave ven t

to her grief by wai ling and beating herself and rolling in the

dust.

When the people had gone, Adham turned to ldrees and

said angrily:

- Is there no limit to your cruelty?

ldrees pretended to be taken aback and asked:

- What are you talking about, my poor brother?

Adham said sharply:

- I never imagi ned you could be as cruel as this, however

badly I thought of you . Death is the end for each of us; how can

you gloat over it?

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Ad ham

ldrees struck his hands together i n a gesture of disbelief.

- Grief has made you forget your manners, but I ' ll forgive

you.

- When will you realize that we're no longer joined by any

tie?

- Merciful heavens! Aren't you my brother? That's a tie

that can't be broken.

- ldrees! You've tormented me enough.

- Griefis ugly, bu t we're both afflicted. You 've lost Humaam

and Qadri, and I've lost Hind. The great Gebelaawi's got a

fornicating granddaughLer and a killer grandson. Anyway,

you're better off than me; you have other children to make up

for what's happened.

Adham asked miserably:

- Are you sti ll jealous of me?

- ldrees jealous of Adham? !