Chill Out (4 page)

“Thanks. Like I said, it was a long time ago.”

“How old were you when she died?”

“Seventeen.”

Her heart broke for him. “That’s a tough age to lose a parent.”

“Yeah, it was.”

Talking about Noah’s mother made her think of her own. She felt a prickle of guilt for the lie she’d told her about this weekend.

“My mother makes me crazy sometimes, but I can’t imagine life without her.”

“My mom used to drive me crazy, too. She was too strict, made me study too much, made me practice piano, didn’t let me hang out at the mall like the other kids my age. But once she was gone, I would have given anything to have her browbeat me just one more time.”

Renata swallowed, feeling suddenly weepy. She made a joke to cover her distress. “I’ll try to remember how much I love my mom the next time she introduces me as ‘the unmarried one’ who hasn’t given her any grandchildren.”

He laughed. “You do that.”

Once again he stopped talking, the subject closed. Renata stifled a frustrated sigh and told herself she was being ridiculous. Just because her family were over-sharers didn’t mean the rest of the world had to be.

Renata found some potatoes in the fridge and peeled them while Noah added more water to the soup bones. She searched for something else to talk about.

“Were you in Africa during the Ebola epidemic?”

“Yes, in Liberia. We were totally overwhelmed. We didn’t have enough medical personnel, or hospitals, or even gowns and masks. It took a long time for the rest of the world to wake up and realize they had to help. In the meantime, a lot of people died.”

“It must have been scary.”

He shrugged. “It was, but at least we knew how to keep ourselves safe. The Liberian people didn’t have our knowledge. Sometimes whole families died because they tried to look after each other at home and everyone got sick.” He chopped the peeled carrots. “I remember this one little girl, Susan. She was about ten. She and her whole family contracted Ebola, but she was the only one to survive. Her parents and brothers—all dead. You’ve never seen such a sad little girl.”

“What happened to her?”

“She was sent to an orphanage.”

Renata felt an overwhelming desire to hold him in her arms, to share some of his burden. She satisfied herself with a brief squeeze to his arm.

“I could never do what you do. I’d die of a broken heart every time I saw something like that.”

“I think you’re a strong person. You could do it.”

“Please. I can’t even watch the technician take a vial of blood from my arm. I’m much better off as a tax accountant. One good thing about accounting—nobody dies.”

Noah threw back his head and laughed. “Thank you.”

She smiled back at him. “For what?”

“For making me laugh. It’s been a while.”

She felt inordinately pleased at his words. “Well, it’s good to know that if the tax accounting thing doesn’t work out I have a future in stand-up comedy.”

“I’ll second that.”

****

Noah had never met anyone quite like Renata. Her humor and compassion drew him to her. She was easy to be with, easy to talk to. He found himself telling her things he’d kept locked away inside for a very long time, things he’d never told anyone.

How had he thought she was merely pretty? The rich chocolate of her thick, glorious hair, the long lashes surrounding her dark, almond-shaped eyes, the lush lips, her perfect fair skin, all combined to make her one of the most beautiful women he’d ever met.

He wanted to know everything about her, what made her happy or sad, what she believed in, what she wanted in life.

Had she ever been in love?

She’d mentioned an ex-boyfriend. Was she still pining for him?

“Enough about me,” he said. “Tell me about your family.”

“There’s not much to tell.” She cut the potatoes she’d peeled into cubes. “Both of my parents immigrated to Canada from Portugal as children. They each have six brothers and sisters, so I have aunts and uncles and cousins coming out of my ears. I also have a large extended family in Canada because some of my grandparents’ brothers and sisters also immigrated here. Most are still in Winnipeg.”

“That’s a big family.”

“It is. Sometimes it can be overwhelming.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s just so many of them, and they expect me to conduct my life in a certain way. They don’t realize it’s not so easy for some of us. Namely me.”

“What do they want you to do?”

She averted her face, but not before he saw the pink blush that stained her cheeks. “They expect me to get married. Even though the aunts and uncles grew up mostly in Canada, they’re very old-world in some ways. Family is everything, and a woman’s job is to have children, and to keep a home. Even though my sister and mother and most of my aunts and female cousins have careers and jobs.”

“They’re not wrong, you know.”

She slanted him a disgusted look. “Don’t you start on me too.”

He couldn’t help smiling at her. “I mean the idea that family is everything. They’re right. Family is the most important thing in our lives. It’s what keeps us connected, grounded.”

“What about you? You mentioned your brother. Do you have any other siblings?”

“No, just Dylan. He’s three years older.”

“Any other family? Aunts, uncles, cousins? What about your dad?”

“My dad left us when I was about five. My mother was an only child, and we lived with her parents when I was young. They’re gone now too.”

“What about your dad’s family?”

“I know virtually nothing about them. We lost contact after he left.” All he had of his father was his last name. His mother had felt it was important that he and his brother keep it.

Somehow she’d turned the conversation back to him. He’d rather know about her.

He lifted the lid on the soup pot and stirred. The aroma drifted upwards in a plume of steam. “You mentioned an ex-boyfriend.”

“Yeah.” He heard her sigh. “We broke up shortly before Christmas. I found out he’d been cheating on me.”

“Then he was a jackass.”

“That was my feeling, too. But knowing he was in the wrong didn’t make it any easier.”

“No, I’m sure it didn’t.” He was well acquainted with the pain of betrayal.

“I’ve broken up with men before, but this one really hurt. I thought he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with.”

The hurt in her eyes nearly undid him. “I’m sorry, Renata.”

She waved her hand as if to wave away his concern. “It’s okay. I’m fine now. Like I said, I’ve had breakups before. Something always happens. Sometimes they find someone else, and other times we sort of drift apart. One time a guy I was dating took a job half way across the country. All I got was a speech about him needing to ‘find himself.’ ”

She made little air quotes, then sighed and looked away. “I guess there’s something lacking in me. Maybe I’m missing a lovable gene, or something.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman. The only thing wrong with your past relationships were the men. They were wrong.”

She gazed up at him, dark eyes wide and luminous, full lips parted. Surprise radiated in her expression, surprise and something else that was harder to define. Her light floral scent enveloped, enticed. He reached out to touch her silky cheek.

He blinked at her. What the hell was he doing? He barely knew Renata. And she didn’t know him.

Dropping his hand, Noah took a step away and willed his racing heart to slow. He lifted the lid of the stock pot, his hand shaking slightly.

“The stock needs to simmer a couple of hours before we add the rest of the vegetables. I’m going to take Spike outside.”

“But the storm—”

“We won’t go far, just enough for Spike to get some exercise.” And for him to cool down.

“Yes, of course.” Her cheeks were flushed, and he knew he’d embarrassed her. He hurried to the door and put on his jacket and boots.

“Come on, Spike. Let’s go.”

Spike plodded toward him, showing no enthusiasm about going outdoors. He didn’t blame him.

As he and Spike pushed their way through the snowdrifts, Noah wondered how long they’d be stuck here. He hoped they’d be able to make their escape before he made a complete fool of himself.

Chapter Five

Noah and Spike came in from their walk a half hour later completely covered in snow. Renata wiped the dog with a fluffy white towel, silently sending an apology to Caroline for the way she was using her good towels.

“It must be crazy out there,” she said, trying to make conversation.

“Yeah.”

Renata had hoped for more of a response. She tried again.

“Do you think it’s letting up any?”

“No.”

Noah hung his snow-covered coat in the closet, then headed to the kitchen, avoiding her gaze. Tension hung in the air between them. Was he angry with her? Renata was confused by his sudden attitude. Before he’d gone outside with Spike, he’d said some sweet things, touched her cheek. For a moment she’d thought he was going to kiss her. And she’d wanted him to.

Then he’d backed off and run out into the storm. What did it say about her when a man would rather risk hypothermia than kiss her?

Renata sighed. She was definitely missing a lovable gene.

Whatever
. She’d come here this weekend for peace and quiet, and since Noah didn’t seem to be talking to her anymore, she certainly had quiet. Unfortunately, his presence didn’t give her much peace.

She started a fire and then curled up on the sofa in front of the fireplace with a blanket and her romance novel. Spike climbed up and curled beside her. She absently petted him as she read. When she stuck her hand in the bag of candy hearts, she pulled out
In a Fog.
No kidding.

Time passed as she read. The feisty heroine was crazy about the hero but was frustrated by his determined effort to avoid her. What the heroine didn’t know—but Renata the reader did—was that the hero was a spy. He couldn’t risk his enemies discovering his greatest vulnerability: he was in love with her. If they knew how he felt, they would use her to get to him. He would rather walk away than risk any harm coming to her.

How noble. Of course the heroine didn’t know how noble he was being. She just thought her feelings weren’t being returned.
Poor kid
.

Of course, this being a romance novel, she knew they’d work it out in the end, though at this point, she had no idea how. She read on.

“You take your coffee with milk, right?”

Renata blinked up at Noah in surprise. He was standing next to the sofa with a cup in his hand.

“Ahh, yeah, milk.”

“It’s fresh. I just made it.”

“Thank you.” She smiled uncertainly. Was he talking to her now?

He set the cup on the end table. “It’s well past noon. Would you like some lunch? I could make you a sandwich.”

Why was he being so nice to her all of a sudden? “I’m not really hungry, but thank you.”

Instead of leaving, he remained next to the sofa. “I’m sorry, Renata.”

That got her attention. “For what?”

“For being a jerk. I almost kissed you earlier, and I’m sorry.”

So he was sorry he’d almost kissed her. Her pride took a direct hit.
The missing lovable gene strikes again.
She looked down at her book. “It’s no big deal.”

“It’s a big deal to me. I don’t want you to think I’d take advantage of our isolation here. You’re safe from me, Renata. I promise.”

She risked a glance at him. He certainly looked sincere. He was going to a lot of trouble to assure her he wouldn’t touch her again.

How unfortunate.

Renata sighed. At least he was talking to her again and trying to be nice. She could do the same.

“I guess I could eat something. I saw you had some fruit in the fridge. Would you mind if I made a fruit salad?”

“I wouldn’t mind at all. In fact, I’ll help you.”

She set down her book and got to her feet. Picking up the coffee he’d brought her, she moved toward the floor-to-ceiling windows and the view she loved. The beautiful, pristine lake was obscured by the white-out conditions outside. If anything, the blizzard had strengthened in the last few hours.

“Pretty scary out there,” she murmured.

Noah moved next to her. “Yeah, it is.”

“Still kind of beautiful, though, isn’t it?”

“A terrible kind of beauty today, but yeah, it is. I used to love this place as a kid. Tyler’s mom often invited Dylan and me out here to keep him company.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“We lived down the street in the city, and his mom was a friend of our mom. We spent a lot of summers out here.” His smile told her the memories were good ones.

“There’s something about the water that never fails to soothe my soul.” She dipped her head, feeling embarrassed at sharing such a personal thought. “That probably sounds really corny.”

“Not at all. I know exactly what you mean.”

She looked up into his eyes. A sizzle of awareness passed between them until Noah averted his gaze.

“So, fruit salad. I’m on it.”

Renata sighed and followed him into the kitchen. Noah pulled containers of strawberries and blueberries out of the fridge and placed a cantaloupe on the counter in front of her.

“Can you slice this?”

“Sure.”

She cut the cantaloupe in half and scooped out the seeds from the middle. Noah rinsed the strawberries under the tap.

“You and your brother must be very close.”

“Yeah, we were.”

“That sounds like past tense. Don’t you get along anymore?”

Renata could practically see him withdrawing. She could certainly feel it. His posture stiffened, and his mouth formed a grim, straight line.

“We haven’t spoken in two years. And before you ask why, don’t.”

She looked away, feeling embarrassed for prying. “Sorry.”

She heard his sigh. “No, I’m the one who’s sorry. That was rude. It’s just that my relationship with my brother is…complicated.”