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Authors: Skyy

BOOK: Choices
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“No. What's going on? Cooley wanted you to meet her around there.”
“Just go on back into the ball. We'll be back soon.” Denise rushed around the side.
When Misha walked into the hall, Lena headed over to her. She also looked concerned.
“Have you seen Carmen?” Lena questioned.
“No. What the hell is going on?”
Before Lena could answer, Misha saw the problem. Tameka was hugged up on some girl, and it wasn't Carmen.
Chapter 39
Denise quickly noticed that Tameka had casually strolled into the ballroom with another girl on her arm. She began to feel rage, and she hoped that Carmen didn't see her. When she looked at the Chi Theta Table and realized that Carmen wasn't there, she immediately knew something was wrong. She headed outside to find her.
She met up with Cooley on the side of the building where all the classrooms were, looking for the one from where they could hear crying coming from.
“Man, you thinking what I'm thinking?” Cooley said as she tried another door.
“Already on top of that, just saw Tameka walk into the room with chick.”
“What the fuck! I'm going to beat her ass!” Cooley said as they both noticed a figure lying on the floor of one of the rooms.
They both quickly ran into the room, where they found Carmen in fetal position, crying on the floor.
“Carmen, baby.” Denise quickly grabbed her.
Carmen latched on and continued to cry uncontrollably.
“Why, Denise, why can't anyone love me? I fucked up, I fucked up,” she hiccuped; she was short on breath.
Denise picked her up and took her to the bathroom.
Cooley stood there thinking about her friend lying on the ground. She had never seen Carmen in that much pain before; it was even worse than last year. Rage took over Cooley as she headed back to the ballroom.
Tameka saw Cooley heading in her direction and got up to run out, but didn't make it in time.
Cooley grabbed her and tackled her to the ground.
“I told you not to hurt her. I told you!” Cooley yelled as she stomped on Tameka. “I'm gon' kill you for hurting her.”
It took four football players to get her off of Tameka.
Carmen and Denise ran into the ballroom when they heard the commotion.
“No, Cooley, leave her alone. This is my battle.”
Carmen yelled as the basketball players let Cooley go when she calmed down. She headed to Tameka, who was being held up by the girl she came with to the banquet.
Carmen looked at Tameka and punched her with all of her strength—“This is for thinking you could fuck me over again.” She punched her again—“This is for hurting me last year.” She punched her one last time—“and this is to remind you what's going to happen if you ever come near me again.”
The banquet was interrupted by the commotion.
Carmen apologized to the room as they were escorted out of the party by the campus security.
Torrance and some of the Chi Thetas met them outside.
“You know what, this is why they didn't want to let your kind in Chi Theta!” Torrance yelled at Carmen.
Before Carmen could speak, Misha came out of nowhere and started yelling at Torrance.
“You know what, none of y'all are perfect. If you want, people can expose your skeletons as well. You are damn privileged to have a wonderful girl like Carmen in your group, and if you can't get past the fact that we are gay, then I don't—”
Carmen cut off Misha. “Look, Torrance, for years I have wanted to be a Chi Theta, for years I learned all I could, made sure I did volunteer work and kept my grades up. I dreamed of the day I would wear these letters. But I never thought that once I made it that I would still not be accepted. Well, you know what, I don't care anymore.”
Carmen turned toward all of the people looking at her. “I spent most of my life trying to fit in, trying to be loved by people who never could see past my size, I thought that having a damn operation would make it go away. Well, no, it didn't because until I can respect myself, no one else will. I am done with trying to be something else for someone else. I have great friends, and I had someone in my life who cared about me and I fucked that up for some bullshit. So fuck all of you bitches who don't give a fuck about me.” Carmen turned around and headed out the U.C.
The campus police asked that everyone head back into the banquet. The male basketball players were on the stage receiving their awards.
The only reason Cooley wasn't arrested was because she was cool with two of the officers that got her. Misha and Cooley headed to leave with Carmen.
“I just need to thank you both,” she said to them.
“It's nothing, baby girl—anytime.”
Cooley responded, “I would have loved to beat the shit out of her though.”
“Yeah, and I was all prepared to slap the shit out of three of those Chi Thetas for sure.”
They all laughed.
Carmen felt someone grab her dress from behind.
“Nic.”
Nic was standing behind her.
“Well, I think that Misha and I will head back to the dorm. See you later, okay,” Cooley said as she and Misha walked off.
“Are you, okay?” Nic asked her.
“No, but I will be,” Carmen responded. Nic was looking good in her Sean Jean. “Nic, I wanted—”
“It's okay. Look, I heard what you said, and I just wanted to let you know that, well, you didn't lose me. I told you, take your time, I will be here.”
Carmen started to cry.
Nic pulled her close and kissed her.
“I don't deserve you,” Carmen whispered.
“Carmen, by now, I think you should realize that you do deserve me. You deserve the best, remember that.”
Carmen looked at Nic. She placed her lips on hers, giving her the most sensual kiss she could.
“You're right, I do deserve the best.” She smiled as Nic held her close. For the first time, she felt true love.
Chapter 40
Lena walked over to Denise to check on everything.
“Is everything okay?”
Denise could tell that she really was concerned.
“Is Carmen okay?”
“She will be.” Denise responded.
Lena gazed into Denise's eyes. She handed her a piece of paper. “Read this, okay.” She walked back over to her mother.
As the men's basketball team was being announced, Denise sat down at her seat and opened the letter.
 
Denise,
I don't know what has come over me. I have feelings that I have never experienced before. What could this mean, I really don't know. All I know is that you are a wonderful woman and it took me this whole school year to realize that I have feelings for you that won't go away. I want you to make love to me, show me what it's like to love a woman. I can't fight this feeling and I need to experience it, and you are the only one who I want. Tonight, our room, after the banquet.
Lena.
 
Denise re-read the letter three times. She couldn't actually believe that she was reading what she thought she was reading. She was going to have Lena, the girl she had wanted all year. She was going to give it all to her, and make her realize she was the one for her, not Brandon.
Brandon's name was called over the microphone; she turned around to hear him speak.
“I just want to say that I truly love Freedom, and my team. I have enjoyed all my years here, but I would like to announce that I am about to make a large step by entering into the draft.”
The whole crowd went wild.
Denise looked at Lena, and she could see the surprised look on her face. She obviously didn't know he was going to make that announcement.
Just then he continued to speak.
“And with making large changes, I must make one more step, by taking the person who means the world to me with me whereever I end up, as my wife.” He walked off the stage and pulled out a little blue box.
Lena's face dropped as he got on one knee and presented her with a ring.
Everyone was going crazy.
Denise stood up to see if she could see Lena's response. Too many people had crowded the area; she didn't know what was said. She heard the coach get on the microphone.
“Well, well, well, this is a wonderful occasion. Congratulations to Brandon Redding and the future Mrs. Brandon Redding.”
The crowd started to die down. She could see Lena's parents hugging, as she saw Lena kissing Brandon. She turned around and hugged her parents. She had accepted his proposal. Denise felt her heart sink. She got up and left the room.
Something told her to go to the room and wait. Maybe Lena would show up and still fulfill the destiny that was brought upon them. She headed back to her dorm room.
Denise waited and waited.
By one A.M. she realized Lena was not coming. A piece of her heart dropped.
She walked down to Cooley and Carmen's room.
Cooley answered the door. “What's up, bro?” Cooley said.
Denise noticed the reflection of the television in the mirror. Cooley was watching
Finding Nemo
.
“Can I come in?” Denise looked at Cooley, who let her in the room. She sat in Cooley's chair. “
Finding Nemo
, huh?”
“Yeah, something funny to take my mind off of things,” Cooley said as she lay back on her bed. “So what else went down?”
“Well, Lena asked me to sleep with her tonight,” Denise said.
Cooley immediately sat up. “Are you serious?” Cooley was in shock.
“Yup.” She handed the note to Cooley.
Cooley's expression became very bleak. “Considering that you are in my room right now, I'm guessing she didn't show up.”
“Nope. After she gave me the letter, Brandon announced that he's going pro, and he asked her to marry him.”
“Dude, I'm sorry about that for real.”
“Yeah, well, things happen for a reason. It's probably for the best anyway. So what happened with Misha?”
“Man, it's over with us. I fucked up big time by calling her a bitch. But she just made me so fucking mad. It's like I am out here doing all I can to make it work. I gave up my Cool number for her, and she's not willing to just understand, you know.”
“Well, she has been through a lot dealing with you. Maybe she just couldn't take it anymore.”
“Yeah, I feel ya. I guess it was kinda hard on her. Man, I was in there just yelling at her, pleading for her to take me back. I actually remembered girls who were doing what I was doing. I guess that's karma for my ass. So I just said fuck it, I am not letting any woman drive me crazy like that girl has done to me.”
“Yeah, well, welcome to the world of loving someone.”
“Whatever,” Cooley said as she turned the movie back up.
“Where is Carmen?” Denise asked.
“With Nic,” Cooley responded. “Yeah, least someone is getting some tonight.”
“I don't even want to know how that happened.”
 
 
They finished watching the movie. Denise could tell that Cooley was dozing off, so she headed back to her room. She opened the door to find Lena sitting on her bed.
“What's going on?” Denise's heart began to beat fast. “Or should I say congratulations?” She noticed the big ring on her finger.
“I guess. Um, can we talk?”
“Sure.” Denise sat on her bed; Lena's perfume was taking over her again. She tried to remain strong.
“I am having these strange feelings, stuff I have never felt before. I don't really know what to do about it, and I was hoping you could tell me.”
“Lena, I can't tell you anything about yourself. You gave me this note, and I honestly admit that I was happy to get it. But you are an engaged woman, now.”
“But, Denise, I still want—”
“Lena, it's for the best. I am not what you need. You don't want me, you want to know if you are gay or not. You are not gay. I told you this before. You don't need to try anything. Just marry Brandon and live your life.”
“But Denise—”
“No buts. That's how it needs to be.” Denise got into her bed. She turned over. She didn't want Lena to see her face, and she didn't want to see her face either. Lena never responded back.
They both went to sleep; Denise knew things had finally changed between her and Lena.

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