Choices (22 page)

“I know that now. I wish I had known it that night, then I wouldn’t have made the mistake that I did.” He said, bunching a fist and hitting his thigh.

“Don’t punish yourself anymore. If she had been here, she would’ve fell right into your arms as soon as she saw you looking all scruffy and sexy outside my door.” Joyce teased. He had to lighten up, or he would depress Abby when he saw her. Logan shot her a wry look, then looked down at himself. “Scruffy and sexy huh? I look like I’ve been rode hard and put up wet.”

“Oh you do know what to say to turn a girl on. Are there more of you out there in the wide open west?” Joyce laughed, beginning to see the appeal Logan had. He grinned at her comment. “You mean dense men who make huge mistakes and foolishly accuse the women they love? I would’ve thought you had them back east as well.”

“Oh well, we have those in abundance, but they don’t quite look like you.”

Logan tried to get comfortable in the chairs in the waiting area. They had missed the last flight out of Logan for Montana, and Kalispell didn’t offer red eye flights. Joyce had tried to talk him into going back to her place so he could at least get a good night’s rest, but Logan declined, wanting to catch the first flight in the morning and not have to worry about rush hour traffic.

He would stop in Kalispell at a friend’s place and get changed and shave, then head out to Abby’s parents’ place. He just hoped she would see him. Joyce wasn’t too sure about that part.

The picture she painted of Abby had made him feel even more of an ass for what he’d done, and had sent fresh pain churning in his stomach. The knowledge that he had caused her so much suffering was like a knife twisting in his gut. He shifted, punching his over-night bag to form it into some semblance of a pillow, and laid his head back on it.

He didn’t know what he would do if she turned him away. He couldn’t go on living the way he had after she left, snapping at everyone and hiding in the pastures, which haunted him when he was out there, because now all he saw out there was Abby. It was just something he didn’t want to think about.

He would just have to swallow his pride, and wait for her. If she still loved him, that is.

Abby saw a missed call on her cell phone and noticed Joyce’s number, but didn’t feel like talking. She had finally felt some of the tension leave that had gripped her the minute she had flown into Bozeman. She had climbed behind of the wheel of her Rover and had to sit for a half an hour, talking herself out of driving to Logan, and humiliation.

She would love him forever, but he didn’t trust her, and despite her words to Joyce, it hurt deeply, and she wasn’t sure she could forgive him for that. After the long drive home, her parents had kept quiet, not pressing her for information. Her mother knew something more was wrong than just the fallout from divorce, Celia having filled her in about the dance, but didn’t ask any questions. They knew Abby would come to them in time.

Abby walked out to the little balcony outside her room, and stood watching the sun set. She had gotten home only an hour before, and after a round of hugs, had begged off dinner, saying she was tired from her drive and the flight, but she just didn’t want to be around anyone, not even her parents.

She had to get out of this funk she had sunk down into, start piecing her life back together. Maybe she would take refresher law courses and take the bar in Montana. She could bury herself in work until his image stopped haunting her mind, the phantom touch of his fingers stopped leaving trails of desire on her body.

The nights were the worst. Her dreams were saturated with him, so that she would wake up sweating, her heart racing and hunger for him creating a throbbing ache between her legs. It had gotten so bad, she didn’t want to go to sleep.

She thought briefly of calling Kassey, to find out how he was doing, but she knew that would just be torture. Even if Kassey wanted to talk to her, she wouldn’t talk about Logan.

Abby snorted. If Kassey wanted to talk to her. She would probably spit on her as soon as talk to her. Abby frowned to herself. Why did she think that about Kassey? Kassey had never given her reason to feel that way. She had even told Abby that she’d come after her if she ever left Logan.

Well, she hadn’t done that, she thought, but she had called, and repeatedly. Sometimes three times a day. Would someone call that much if they didn’t
care? Abby didn’t think so. So Kassey cared, but Logan hadn’t tried to reach her, and he had the same numbers Kassey had.

She looked at her watch. It was only 10 p.m. and Kassey and Ben were probably still awake. She could call and test the waters, see if she was wrong about how Kassey felt. She reached for her cell phone and dialed Kassey’s number. She answered on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Kassey,
it’s Abby.” She said, holding her breath.

“Abby! Are you ok? Where are you?” Kassey said in a gush of words. She sounded worried, and concerned, but not mad. Abby let out a long breath.

“I’m…at my parents.” She replied. What could she say? She wasn’t fine, she was still crushed.

“Your parents? We, I mean I, thought you were still in Boston. When did you get there?” Kassey asked, and Abby thought she heard Ben mutter “Damn!” in the background.

“I just got in about an hour ago. I flew out of Boston this morning.”

She heard Kassey repeat this bit of news to Ben and Abby was sure she heard Ben say “Damn!”, only louder this time.

“Are you guys ok?” she asked, frowning.

“Ben dropped something. We’re fine. How are you? You didn’t give me an answer before.” Kassey replied smoothly, coming back to Abby.

“As well as could be expected, I guess. I’ve been a mess, Kassey.” She laid down on her bed, surprised at how at ease she felt talking to her. Maybe because of her connection to Logan?

“We don’t know all that happened that night Abby, but Logan is probably a feeling like a bigger mess.”

“Have you not talked to him? How is he?” she heard the desperation in her voice and hated it. She tried to tamp it down.

Kassey took her time answering, the sounds coming from the phone made Abby think she and Ben were arguing about something in the background.

“We haven’t seen much of him, really, and when he is here, we’re wishing he were somewhere else. He’s hurting bad, Abby.” Kassey said gently.

“It’s not my fault he’s hurting Kassey. He didn’t trust me to make the right choice. That’s his fault.” Abby winced, knowing that this is where she would be proved wrong about Kassey. She had known Logan longer, and was closer to him, and would protect him whether he was right or wrong. But what she said threw Abby for a loop.

“You don’t have to tell me, I know. He didn’t give you any chance to explain anything to that asshole, and jumped before he had a chance to cool off. I’m sure he regrets it.”

“Uh, yeah, maybe.” She stammered. Kassey agreed with her?

She realized at that point she had been stupid, quick to judge people, and see them in a bad light. She had been so quick to jump on the defensive, and put her walls up high so that she couldn’t see over them, just expecting to be hurt. She had to talk to Logan. She had misjudged him too. He had been hurt, and reacted in anger born out of that hurt, and she had just left, not staying behind to fight for him.

“Kassey, I have to call the main house. I need to talk to Logan.” She said hurriedly, and hung up the phone before Kassey could reply. She dialed the number from memory and listened to it ringing, but there was no answer. Where was he? It was too late to be out in the pastures, and where was
Jake? He should be home too.

Abby listened to the machine pick up, Logan’s deep voice coming through her phone headset, a soothing balm to her senses. When she heard the beep, she hung up, not wanting to say what she needed to say over an answering machine. She tried his cell phone, but there was no answer there either.

She lay back on the bed again, drawing a pillow and wrapping her arms around it, wishing it were Logan. She would get in the truck and drive, first thing in the morning, and grovel at his feet if that’s what it took. She’d marry him on the spot if he asked. She wasn’t going give up this time without a fight.

Chapter Eleven

“Abby, at least tell us what’s going on.” Her mother asked as Abby repacked the suitcase she had unpacked the night before.

Her mother had come into her room this morning to already find her daughter dressed and drinking a cup of coffee. Abby closed the suitcase and hefted it off the bed. She owed her parents an explanation, she knew that, but she felt that she was wasting time. Now that she had made up her mind, she wanted to see Logan, make things right.

“Abigail Jennings, you have just gotten here last night, with no explanations as to what’s going on, and if you think that I’m going to let you off this ranch without a by-your-leave, you’ve got another think coming.” Lydia Jennings demanded, drawing herself up to her full height.

Abby cringed at her mother’s words, knowing she meant business. Her mother was slight, but made of steel. She would throw Abby to the floor and hold her down while her father dr
agged information out of her.

“Okay, I’ll fill you and Dad in while I eat, but then I really have to go.”

“Fine.” Her mother nodded, then followed after Abby down the stairs to the front hall.

Abby set her suitcase down in the front hall, and walked into the large sunny breakfast nook, where her father was already waiting. Lydia moved to her husband’s side, and placed an arm around his waist. Abby looked at them, her mother small and slight, with a lot of red still in her hair, and her father, still lanky and tall. His face was rugged from being out in the weather all the time, but his brown eyes showed warmth and concern for her.

“Let’s at least sit down.” Abby offered, sitting down at the table. Harmon and Lydia followed suit, sitting across from their daughter, concern for her evident in the expressions. Harmon had gotten coffee ready and had the carafe and cups already on the table.

This had always been their talking spot when she was growing up. Whenever she had a problem or just wanted to talk about happenings in her life, they had always gathered here, either with hot chocolate or coffee as she grew older. She had always felt that she could tell her parents everything and not have to worry about harsh words. She wondered now why she was so nervous to tell them anything.

“I’m not going to rehash the divorce, that’s not what’s got me upset.”

“Celia told your mother that you were with Logan at the dance at the Bar S. Is that what this is about?” her father asked, taking a sip of his coffee. He was reserving judgment, Abby could tell.

“Yes, it is. The night of the dance, after we left to go back to LM, Logan and I got into an argument in the truck. It was never really said, but I think he wanted me to make a choice that night, one I wasn’t willing to make right then.” She paused, and they waited patiently for her to go on.

She decided to start at the beginning and fill them in on the rush of powerful emotions that she and Logan had triggered in one another, the instant attraction, although she had to blush and stammer through that, and the feeling that she had met the man she truly wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

“And then we got back from the dance, and we were both angry, and there was Steve, standing on the front porch. I had talked to him, but didn’t tell him where I was. I found out later that he had found me by tracing my activity on the computer at ho...back in Boston” she stopped, remembering that wasn’t home anymore.

“Anyway, I had lied to Logan, told him I hadn’t talked to Steve, but I couldn’t lie about it anymore. He asked me again if I had talked to Steve and all I could do was just nod. He was mad because I didn’t tell Steve right off who he was to me, which I should’ve done, I can see that now, but he took it the wrong way and figured I was going back to Steve. He punched Steve out then left, and I haven’t seen him since.” She finished on a huff, and wrapped her hands around her coffee mug, trying to warm them.

“Abby, if you felt, or feel, that Logan is who you were meant to be with, that you love him, why were you scared to stay?” he mother asked gently, reaching across the table and placing a hand on top of Abby’s cold ones.