Choices (14 page)

So I did just that. I walked out of the elevator and knocked on the door of Apt. 417.  I glanced at my watch and noticed I had five minutes to spare from my two hour deadline.

“You just made it! I was getting ready to jump in the truck and kidnap you.” His smile was radiant and extremely playful.

“Come in and let me show you around.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the apartment and pushed me up against the wall. Brandon pressed his entire weight against me while my back was against the wall. There was nothing left to the imagination about his intentions. He smothered me with his skin, his body, his kiss. His kiss was ardent and scorching. He whispered in my ear, “I’ve imagined doing this to you all afternoon and now I can really enjoy myself because we are alone.” He released me and smiled deeply into my eyes. My head was reeling and I couldn’t catch my breath.
What on earth does this boy see in me? I swear I’m imagining this! I’m actually dreaming and I am going to wake up really soon but I really don’t want to!

“Let me get my things together and we can get going.”

“No, not yet. I haven’t been in a luxury apartment in the city in a long time. Can you show me around? I’d love to see where you get dressed in the morning.”
Get dressed in the morning? That’s it, it’s official,
I’m
completely insane.
I responded once my head was back in the game.

“Are you sure? You really want to see my place? I feel somewhat embarrassed by it really. It was
my Grandfather’s way of keeping me close to home before I moved to the big city. My mom returned to Florida and I wasn’t exactly sure if I was going to go back home with her. My grandparents wanted me to stay but they knew I wouldn’t be interested in staying with them at the farmhouse, so he bribed me with this apartment with a one year lease. When I come home to visit after I move to New York, I’ll have somewhere to stay. I actually thought it was way too extravagant but I’m rethinking that position. Now, I may just have a wonderful and incredibly sexy reason to keep it.” The smolder and the sexy smile-yikes-what a combination!

“ME?! You’re kidding-right?!”  The smolder and sexy smile disappeared quickly as if I actually hurt his feelings.
My God, he’s serious and we haven’t even had sex yet?!

“Oh, hey, don’t look like that. I’m sorry. I’m just not used to someone being so interested and coming on so strong. Just be patient with me. It’s going to take a little while to get used to that.” I took his hand and whirled around the room in an attempt to change the mood.

“Well, you better get used to it. I want you, Laurel. Right now! I know you think it’s crazy but for me you’re perfect. I know what I want and it’s you. Really what I want to do is screw the whole weekend camping and just make love to you all weekend all around my apartment-lying down, standing up, sitting down, in the shower, on the floor, the kitchen table…”  He gently caressed my neck and smoothed my bangs away from my eyes and ever so gently brushed his lips against mine.

“
Wow! You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet. Just give me a little time. I’m not against the idea or the thought of being intimate with you, I’m here aren’t I? I’m just trying to wrap my brain around all my feelings and yours for me. Show me your apartment and let’s enjoy the ride to the beach together.” I extricated myself from his embrace, grabbed his beautiful hand and led the way into the kitchen.

His apartment resembled the lobby
- sleek and modern. The kitchen was everything urban and chic-dark walnut cabinets, stainless steel elongated handles, hardwood floors in the same color scheme as the cabinets, acrylic bar stools with black cushions for the granite countertop island/breakfast bar. There was a plasma TV on the wall in the living room with a black lacquered TV entertainment center. The bathroom was small but really sumptuous with creamy colored tile and sleek counters with modern fixtures and cabinets, but the shower stall, oh my, the shower stall. It took every ounce of restraint I could muster to prevent myself from tearing his and my own clothes off and forcing our naked bodies into that masterpiece of a shower. It was gi-normous with a cascading shower head and various shower heads located throughout the walls strategically aimed at various important body parts. There was a huge seat to accommodate just about any activity you could think of and boy, could I think of a few. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a shower without a curtain or door, just the shower stall embedded deep into a nook in the bathroom with extended tile walls.

“Do you like it?” He asked sheepishly as if he was embarrassed by it. “It was the one thing about this place that I just absolutely loved. I couldn’t wait to bring the right person here to see it.”

“Am I really the right person, Brandon?”

“
Most definitely without a doubt!”  He brushed the hair away from neck and slowly slid his finger down the side of my neck sending an instant luxurious shiver down my spine and up my legs.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked as I unsteadily stepped back into the shower stall by accident.

“Are you so sure you want to go? Wouldn’t you be more interested in taking a shower and you can get to know everything about me here and right now?” He licked his lips as if he wanted to eat me. I struggled to find the right words. I wanted to throw caution to wind, yet again, but I figured once was enough for one day. I probably should get to know him a little bit better before I give everything to him. Maybe I won’t be so attracted to him once I get to know him more. I laughed out loud without realizing it and he misinterpreted my response. He started to go in for the kill. His lips sought mine yet again - hungry, urgent, needing. His glorious fingers found their way to the small of my back and lower gently exploring as if they were trying to memorize the contours of my backside. The full force of his tall, long and lithe body pressed firmly and exquisitely against mine was overwhelming. I quickly stepped to the side and caught my breath.

“Brandon, I think we should get going. I really do want to make love with you but I also want to talk to you some more and figure out how your brain works. I have a general idea-free spirited, crazy talented, spontaneous, not to mention unbearably gorgeous with a capital G and incredibly intelligent but I know there is so much more that I want to unravel and I don’t mean just your clothes.”
Whew, did I just manage to suppress my urges and delay instant gratification? YUP! That’s me alright!!

He let a huge sigh of disappointment and his eyes clouded over for a split second but he recovered quickly and gently led me out of the shower stall. We were on the road in a half an hour. I realized I didn’t even see his bedroom. That was a relief and a blessing.

The drive
to Assateague was beautiful and enlightening. The time we spent in the car reminded me again of our age difference. Brandon is remarkably mature and confident for his age but here I go again second guessing myself and berating myself for coming on this excursion. I quickly pushed those thoughts out of my head and reminded myself that there was nothing wrong with being selfish if you feel under appreciated. I am amazed at how intelligent he is really and self assured. He seems more of an old soul than a young adult. Brandon has his act together way more than I ever did at that age. He knows so much about music - classical, oldies, rhythm and blues, rock, rap and whatever you call today’s current music. Brandon told me how he thought about being a musician too. He plays the piano and the guitar...hmm...I guess that explains the long, graceful fingers.

While we were driving a song from my generation of growing up played on the radio. It reminded me of being back in high school in the mid-80s.

“Oh, wow! I loved this song! It reminds me of getting ready for one of CP’s parties in high school while I was talking to Kristy on the phone trying to figure out what to wear.” I brushed the hair from my face from the wind blowing through the window and turned the volume up.

“What
’s CP? And who sings this song? This is one I actually don’t know.”

“CP isn’t a what, it’s a who. He was a good friend in high school who threw the best parties and I’m quite surprised you don’t know who sings this song. Your mom would remember CP. She was at a lot of his parties too with me. Scritti Politti sings this. It’s called “Perfect Way”

There was a short awkward silence for a few moments because of course I was hauling out my trusty baseball bat again to whack myself over the head for being so irrational and stupid for coming with the gorgeous boy who was the son of an old high school friend.
Gosh, what I wouldn’t do to know what he was thinking right at this second - probably having second thoughts about asking me to come with him or even being attracted to me in the first place.
I sighed heavily and watched the blur of forest and highway pass me by.

“Hey, where are you? I’m losing you. Where did you just
go? Your body is here but your mind is lost somewhere.” He looked at me intently and with some concern and placed one of his hands over mine and squeezed my fingers gently as if he were reassuring me that it was okay to tell him what I was feeling and thinking.

“Hmm? Um? I was.
..um...I...Wow, I feel so awkward right now. Hearing that song reminded me of so many things, especially your mom and our friendship and how long I’ve known her and how old I am and how young you are and how this whole weekend just probably shouldn’t happen. Maybe you should just take me home, Brandon, this isn’t right. You really don’t want to be with me. I feel so silly like I’m desperate for attention or something.” I turned even further away from him so he couldn’t see the tears starting to blur my vision and sting my eyes.

“Okay, first of all, don’t think for me. I want to be with you more than I think you’ll ever realize and I hope this weekend
I can prove that to you. And OH.MY.GOD. You know my mom and you’re older than me - holy shit call the police because I think my soul and body will be ravaged by an older woman this weekend and when you are telling them your story tell them that I honestly can’t wait until you do! Laurel, when we get out of this truck, I’m...well...I’m...You just wait until I get of this truck. No worries -live in the moment.” He smiled and my heart started to beat erratically again his thumb rubbed the side of my cheek soothingly.

“No worries, Laurel. I want to be with you and I don’t care how old you are. You are stunning! You take my breath away.”

The traffic became a little thicker the closer we got to the beach. I could smell the delicious salt water and my skin started to tingle. We pulled into the driveway for the Visitors Center to register and find our exact location. The weather was spectacular. We drove further down the road to the beach. On the way we saw the horses grazing in the salt marshes. Brandon parked the truck and suggested we get out first and look around. We walked onto the boardwalk and passed the showers and the small snack bar. I stopped at the top of the boardwalk before you walked out onto the beach
because the view of the ocean was overwhelming. The beach was so quiet and absolutely pristine. The sun was so bright against the seawater that I still had to shade my eyes even with my sunglasses on. The water glistened and sparkled. It was blindingly beautiful. Brandon asked if I was okay and took my hand to lead me down through the sun to get closer to the water when suddenly we heard a thunderous roar.  Brandon quickly wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him to move me out of harm’s way. The horses of Assateague were crashing down the beach. They were exquisite to watch - so free and graceful, without any restraints or responsibilities.

We trudged through some thick marsh and climbed over a small dune carrying a few of our supplies while we checked out a place to camp. God, I was so excited once I told myself to get a grip and calm down. I was actually getting the chance to do something I’ve always wanted to do and I get to share it with an amazing man. I was trying to figure out what I was more excited about
- camping at the beach or learning and getting to know more about Brandon, or both.  We decided to set up a little further away from the water and closer to the dunes but not too close - bugs. I was amazed that I was actually consulted for this decision. If it were just me and Paul, I would be told where we were setting up camp instead of being considered as a partner with a capable mind. Once we hauled all of our gear out of the truck, it was time to set up the tent. Brandon was so agile and capable. Honestly, he surely did not need me to put the tent together. It was obvious he was interested in creating a memorable experience for both of us. He was interested in sharing the responsibility and not just being a machoistic he-man. Brandon wanted a true partner in the experience of setting up the tent-asking for help and my opinion about things. His hands were elegant and graceful as they moved effectively and efficiently. I told him how beautiful they were and he laughed and remarked that they are only good for playing the piano otherwise they were just big flappers to him. He made me laugh with that comment.
HA! Flappers! If he only knew what I want him to do with those flappers….

It was turning into my favorite time of day-dusk. Twilight is just so remarkably peaceful and tranquil. It’s the time of day to reflect on the events of the day and transition into the evening’s activities.

“Well, the camp is set up. Whaddaya say we go for a swim before it gets too dark.” He was already half way to the water before I even had a chance to answer him. I quickly dashed into the tent, found my backpack and hurriedly changed into my bathing suit. I actually managed to pack my favorite purple two piece. Then, I proceeded to have a small panic attack. I paced, I breathed, I sat and put my head between my knees. “Live in the moment, Laurel” the sound of his voice echoed through my inner conscious and my head cleared, my breathing eased. I sat up and slowly stood up and took a shaky step toward the entrance of the tent. I unzipped the entrance to the tent, stepped through, saw Brandon’s beautiful body swimming in the shimmering sea and bounded with pure glee down the beach, reminding myself to live in the moment.