Choices (16 page)

“Ever been to Six Flags?” He smiles so wide at Carter, lighting up his whole face. Tyler loves Six Flags, his favorite place
in the world. In Texas at least, since he hasn’t really been to enough places yet.

“I love Six Flags. The rides are like awesome! My favorite is the Splash Mountain.”

“Do you want to go during the holidays?”

Tyler slows his pace. “Are you serious?”

“Uh-huh. We should go. It would be a blast.” Then he looks at me, disappointment in his eyes. “Oh, you can’t ride the rides.” I smile and nod.

“I can go, I just can’t ride anything. But it’s okay, it could be fun for you two.” He takes my hand firmly in his, lacing our fingers together. The contact sends electrical shock through my body. I sneak a glance at Meg who is standing on the other side of Carter. We exchange a knowing look when she notices our joined hands, at that moment she winks and smiles.

“That would be awesome Carter. I love rollercoasters and since I’m a little bigger, I can ride more.” I can’t help the stab of jealousy that sneaks into my brain, even when I try to push it away. I have no reason to be jealous, but yet it’s there staring me in the face. I just want to slap it away. Rollercoasters have always been my favorite thing as a kid. And to share that experience with Carter would make it that much more memorable. But I know there’s always later, after my pregnancy. Right now is about making Tyler happy and by the looks of it, he’s already there.

“Geez, my bucket is full.” Tyler comments. His bucket overflows with candy. We should have brought another basket. We’
ve hit three streets and passed many trick or treaters. I take a moment to observe everything around me as Tyler and Carter approach another house together. I step back on the curb, letting the kids pass me. I see a princess, Buzz Lightyear, a witch with long black hair and freckles on her face, Batman with his mask and cape, cheerleader with her pom poms and her outfit a little too short for this occasion and then a lady bug. Something in my heart stirs. She looks to be about two or younger. I look at her with a feeling I don’t really anticipate, but it’s there.  It’s then that I see my brother and Carter and my whole world shifts. A vision takes place in my mind. Me, Carter and our baby-having a picnic in the park, happy. I don’t know what the future holds for either of us but I know I want Carter to be a part of it. Nick is the father of my baby now, but I don’t know what is going to happen especially once graduation passes. For now, I’m putting that on hold to figure out later. I just want to focus on the here and now and right now…

“He’s amazing with Tyler.” Mason sneaks up beside me. He’s smiling in admiration, and probably staring at Meg’s ass.

“Yeah, he is.”

“What were you thinking about earlier? You looked like you were in another world
.” Did I look like a spaced out freak? That’s embarrassing.

“Oh I was just thinking about stuff. I guess I was having an emotional moment or something. Did I look stupid?” He rocks side to side and bites his lip.

“No, you just looked like you were daydreaming but totally zoned out.” Yeah, I definitely was that. “I won’t pry or anything but I will say, I’m glad you found each other. Nick was kind of a prick. No offense.”

“None taken.  And thanks, he’s really been so amazing through all of this. And I am so glad you and Meg are finally together. You’re perfect for each other.” We hear laughter drift from the crowd of kids.

“Do you love him Gracie?” The question has so many meanings. I know I love him and I know I’m in love with him. I’m just not sure if he feels that strongly about me yet. And the feeling is terrifying yet thrilling.

“Yes.”

Chapter 27

“You kids wore him out. I think he enjoyed himself.” Tyler smiled and galloped on the way back. I was afraid the candy would keep him awake all night, but we lucked out and sleep found him after dinner. I’ve never seen him happier. But it could also be the prospect of a trip to Six Flags.

Standing in Tyler’s
doorway with my mother, Carter looks uncomfortable. I take his hand and say, “Come on, let’s go outside.”

“I’m going to bed. Thanks for g
iving him a fun Halloween.” My mother looks from Carter to me and smiles. “Good night you two.” She places one hand on each of our arms.

“Good night mom.”

It’s dark outside but there is enough light illuminating the street. We walk hand in hand, gazing up at the few stars we ever get to see in this town.

“I wish we could see more stars. They’re so beautiful to look at. But here, there’s too much light. It takes away from the beauty.” We stop in front of his truck, my backside pushes against the door and I prop my feet up on the curb, holding me up. Carter faces me, staring at me intently.

“How are you feeling?” Physically? Never better. Emotionally? Like I could fly.

I smile and take his hand, placing it over my racing heart. “This is my answer. Right here.
” I put my other hand over mine and his and I could still feel the rapid beating he causes. “You make my heart race and pulse speed up, with just a simple word or the sound of your voice.” I take a deep breath, trying to gather my wit to confess my feelings. “After watching you with Tyler tonight and after all you’ve done, just being there for me through a lot of my crazy life in just a short time, you’ve managed to steal my heart. I’ve fallen deeply and madly in love with you. I didn’t anticipate any of that at all, not for a long time with anyone. But with you, I love being with you. I love holding your hand. I love the way you look at me and see
me
. I just love you.” My eyes well up, and with his free hand, he wipes the tears away with his thumb as he moves closer, mere inches from my face. I can smell his minty male scent as I breathe it in allowing it to take over my senses. My heart becomes erratic under our still placed hands and my body feels like a burning flame of passion and desire.

“I love you Gracie.
” He whispers so softly that if I hadn’t seen his lips move I would have mistaken it for the wind. My eyes are wide at his confession.

“What did you say?”

“I said I love you.
I have for a while now and I can’t imagine not being with you. Just know I am not going anywhere. I will never break your heart or make you do things you’re not ready for. If you ever feel pressured by me, please tell me. It may be subconsciously happening, but I will never intentionally hurt you in anyway. I love you and it’s a love that cannot be measured.” More tears fall. I peer into his ocean blue depths and see right into his soul the sincerity.

I grab him urgently, showing him the intensity of my love. My lips find his, eager and wanting so badly to taste him, he reciprocates just as anxious. Placing his hands on either side of my head, he leans into my body trapping me. But it feels good, so I don’t move. My fingers glide through his thick dark hair. A moan escapes his throat and I smile against his lips, enjoying the way I make him feel.

I close my eyes when he kisses my neck and then lean to the side for better access which he takes it. I guide my hands up and down his broad, tanned chest. He pulls back suddenly. I open my eyes, trying to slow my racing heart and understand why he has stopped. Panic sets in, reminding me of my favorite movie “The Ugly Truth” when Katherine Heigel states how men are afraid and when things get a little intense they run away. There is truth in that statement. I only hope it’s in not true tonight. Carter shoots me a bemused look.

“What are you thinking?”
I purse my lips together for a minute.

“Why did you stop?” He leans into me again, teasing me. I pull him to me but he doesn’t budge, grinning widely. I look away, hurt
.

Just when I think the moment’s gone, he grabs my face and crunches our mouths together. Parting my lips, his tongue slips in taking dominance in my mouth. We taste each other a few seconds more, leaving me weak in the knees. As his tongue exits my mouth, he playfully bites my bottom lip, watching for my reaction. It’s a surprised one at first, but I soon relax, holding our entangled hands clutched to my chest.

“Hey. I need to get home. You need some rest.” I start to pout but immediately dismiss my disappointment knowing he’s right. I think we’ve both had enough excitement for one night. So I just smile assuring.

“Thanks for coming tonight.” I lean into him once more.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. But you know you’re going to have to share some of that candy with me, don’t you?” I laugh, leaning back against his truck. He wraps his arms around me tightly. I fall into his embrace, laying my head on his chest, listening to his now racing heartbeat.

“You need your rest. I think your heart rate was up pretty high. You should really monitor that problem.” He winks at me and gets in his truck. I just give him a menacing look, shaking my head.

“Yeah, I should. I guess kissing and all other stuff is off limits then.” He thinks about it for a minute and shakes his firmly.

             
“That’s not going to happen. We’ll just have to come up with another solution then.” I lean into his passenger window as he leans over the center console giving me one last kiss. “Good night Gracie. Sweet dreams.”

             
“Good night.” I watch him drive away when I feel it. A flutter in my belly unlike any I’ve ever felt before. I place both of my hands atop and push gently when I feel another-kick. Is that what it feels like? It could be my imagination or wanting instead of it being. But I just go with the initial thought because it’s more fun that way. I laugh and smile at the sensation, realizing it’s the first time I felt my baby move. Part of me believes it’s because of Carter. That thought makes me smile. I’m a dreamer, what can I say.

             
You like Carter too, do you?
I stay outside, allowing the breeze to soak up my happiness.

Holidays were the most fun times for me growing up. I always enjoyed Halloween. I went to haunted houses every year with my friends. We would watch scary movies cuddled up on the couch, even against my will. Meg would join us and I’d hide behind her and make her watch the
scary parts. It was a tradition in the Jordan household. This year was different and I was more than okay with it. I’ve got make new traditions now, right?

             
With a smile on my face, I took out my journal and began writing.

             
Dear Journal,

             
I know it’s been awhile since my last entry. So much has happened. I went on a first date with Carter; I passed out at work and woke up in the hospital, took my brother trick or treating and start dating Carter. The biggest thing was the heartbeat of the baby I got to hear. It was amazing. At first, we heard nothing and then...boom boom boom. Strong and steady and beautiful. My heart soared with emotions. My mom of course cried with joy. I haven’t been back to work yet. I really want to go back but my parents and Carter are keeping me prisoner. I am just glad Carter finally knows of my pregnancy and even better, he doesn’t care. He loves me and my heart is so happy. I could go on and on about this but it’s Thanksgiving and must help my mom with dinner before Grammy comes over. One more month and I will find out the sex of the baby. Until then.

Gracie

             
“Sweetie?” My mom peeks into my room. I put my journal away and stand up.

“Hey.” She walks in and sits on the bed, patting the space next to her, so I follow her.
     “Grammy is coming soon. She doesn’t know about you yet. She’s been away on cruises the last couple of months with Aunt Linda. So I haven’t had a chance to tell her. And besides that, this is your news to share. Would you like to help me get dinner started?” I nod, already planning on it. I love having my Grammy over for dinner. She lives in El Paso which is a few hours away. Ever since my Pappy died two years ago of a stroke, she’s been alone. But she goes on cruises and visits the rest of the family all over town and in New York, California, Minnesota, Colorado, Florida and Washington. We’re all over the US. One thing about Thanksgiving at our house is that most of the family come down to Dallas for a few days to spend the holidays while my mother and I do all the cooking and entertaining. This year, just my Grammy will be here. Meg and Mason spend it with us too part of the time.  I have a feeling Meg and Mason will have their own tradition this year. So much is changing and I am not sure how I feel about it. My phone starts ringing on my bedside table. I lean across the bed and smile when I see the name on the screen before I open it.

             
“Gracie’s phone.” I say in my most seductive voice I can pull off.

             
“I’m looking for my hot girlfriend. I think her name is Gracie. Is she available?” He plays along. I bite my bottom lip to stifle a laugh.

“That depends, I need the password.” He thinks about it for a few seconds before saying, “I love you?”

              “Is that a question?” I tease.

             
“Ha ha. No. I do love you Gracie. But seriously, you need to talk to me in that sexy voice more often. I bet you, it will get you your way a lot.”

             
“I’m glad you like. And I love you too cheeseball. What are you doing?”