Choices (17 page)

             
“I’m going to my sister’s house for a little while. But I will be over in a couple of hours. Is that okay? Wait, did you just call me cheeseball?”

             
“Took you a minute to catch that.”

             
“I’m slow. Is it okay though or do you want me to pick you up?”

“I can’t. I’m helping my mom make dinner. My grandmother is coming over today. You’ll get to meet her.” My mom leaves the room quietly, giving me privacy.

              “Okay that’s great. I can’t wait babe. I’ll see you soon. I love you beautiful.” His voice is so deep and hypnotizing I could fall under his spell.

             
“I love you too hot stuff. Have fun.” We hang up.

             
I head down stairs to wash my hands before getting started with dinner. Tyler sets up the dining room table with plates and silverware then goes back to play his games until dinner is ready. I take out the butter, milk and pepper for the mashed potatoes once I finish peeling them and boil them in water. I make a pot of coffee for my Grammy, the coffee fiend. Mom and I cook dinner in silence, which feels a little awkward because I know she has something to say but won’t say it.

             
“You and Carter have gotten really close, huh.” She remarks, as she’s heating up yams and the stuffing. I hate stuffing but I eat it anyway to appease her. I mean, it’s once a year that I give in I can deal.

             
“Yeah, he’s really amazing. I’ve fallen in love with him.” I’m smiling as I drain the potatoes and when I turn to catch my mother’s expression, my smile falters.

             
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” I pour in the milk, butter and a dab of pepper, avoiding her gaze. She turns her body to face me and leans against the sink, crossing her arms.

             
“Did you hear what you just said?” I raise my eyebrows in speculation.

             
“Yes, I said I’ve fallen in love with Carter and he with me. What’s your problem?”

             
“You do realize you’re bearing someone else’s baby right?” I gape at her and cock my head to the side in confusion.

             
“I am? When did this happen?” I look away shaking my head.

             
“Very funny Gracie. I don’t think you get it though. You were just talking about how you didn’t want to get involved with anyone after Nick left you and now you used the four letter word as if it was the most natural thing. I think it’s too soon to be honest.” I hold my hand up and she stops talking.

             
“I get it mom, I do. Believe me I didn’t plan for this to happen. I didn’t want to get involved and that was the last thing I expected. But something changed. When I’m with Carter, I feel loved and cared about and beautiful. He sees me, mom. Me. Not some poor little knocked up high school girl, but the girl inside of all that.” She steps beside me and gently runs her finger through my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear.

             
“Sweetheart, you were just in love with Nick, carrying his baby and now you’re dragging Carter into this too. Do you think that’s fair? What would Nick say about it?” I’m taken aback by her unexpected interrogation and a little hurt.

             
“I don’t know what Nick would say about it and quite frankly, I don’t care. He left me, didn’t he? He’ll be off at college and living his own life. Am I supposed to just sit here and be alone for the rest of my life? I mean, sure if he didn’t want to be a part of it, he wouldn’t. But he wants to. I gave him a choice mom. I told him to leave. I gave him a way out.”

             
“You’re in a vulnerable state right now. I’m just watching out for you. I couldn’t stand to see your heart broken again. I mean Nick did just leave and Carter happened to be there to pick up the pieces but how much do you really know him?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I’d had enough of it. I set the pot of potatoes on the stove and placed the lid on top to keep it warm. I throw open the fridge door, putting the milk and butter back and slammed it shut.

             
“You think I’m using Carter as a means of coping from being dumped? You think my feelings for him are insincere or vice versa? Really mom?” I’m shouting as tears reach my eyes.

             
“I’m not saying that exactly but look at the picture from a different angle.” The stuffing and green beans are done and I set them aside then finish the yams.

             
“Mom, I want to have a good dinner with Grammy. And Carter will be here as well, so I’d appreciate a little courtesy for him and keep your ridiculous notions to yourself please. Don’t mess this night up for me please.”

             
“What are you doing with him? Where is he going to fit into this scenario once the baby is born?” My eyes begin to gloss over and I look away, swiping at my tears furiously. I don’t need this now, not from my mother of all people.

             
“I don’t have the answers right now mom. All I know is he makes me happy. Why are you trying to ruin it?” She turns me around to face her, I see sincere in her eyes.

             
“I’m not trying to ruin it honey. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again. I am trying to make you see my side.”

             
“Hello, guess who’s here.” I run through the kitchen into the living room and greet my Grammy. She’s a short lady with glasses and white blonde hair but she looks like she hasn’t aged a day over forty. Her skin is silky smooth and an olive shade. Her eyes show years of wisdom but a mix of blue and gray. She’s wearing jeans with a solid black shirt and tennis shoes. I run into her open arms and hug her tight. “I’ve missed you Grammy.”

             
“Time to eat. Mom, you made it. How was the drive?” She hugs Grammy when she enters. They put her stuff in the living room for the time being and we enter the dining room. “Tyler, come down for dinner honey.” My mother calls from the bottom of the stairs.

             
We eat dinner in silence, except the sound of silverware clanking against the dishes. My mind is in a frenzy. What if my mother is right about bringing Carter into this mess? He seemed okay with it, but am I just being selfish wanting him close? I don’t know what will happen after I have the baby-where Nick will be, Carter will be, what will become of me? Will I be a good mother? Will I be able to give this baby everything it needs? The future is uncertain and that sucks. I need answers. I suddenly have lost my appetite. I feel my mother’s gentile hand on top of mine. I look at her hand, and then up into her hazel eyes. She smiles.

             
“I’m sorry for worrying you. I just want you to be careful. A heart is fragile thing and when it’s been broken once, it takes time to repair.” She whispers and I nod.

             
I lean in and whisper to her in a calm tone of voice. “I know this, but mom I’m happier with Carter than I ever was with Nick. He worries more about himself than anyone else. He left me. What am I supposed to do?  I can’t just wait around for him forever. We aren’t meant to be. He is still the father and if he wants to be in this baby’s life, fine. But we are done.” I move my hand from under hers and take my plate to the sink to rinse out.

“What’s going on?” I hear Grammy asking my mother. She walks into the kitchen
and leans over the kitchen island, her long nails painted red. It makes her tanned fingers really stand out. It is a good color for her. “What’s going on Gracie?” She asks me, her eyes fill with concern.

             
“I have something to tell you.” I say. We walk into the living room and both sit down on the couch. My heart beats rapidly. I look at her, a feeling of shame washes over me. I hate disappointing my grandmother. I breathe in deep and take the plunge. “I’m pregnant.”

             
She opens her mouth but no sound comes out so she closes it. I turn away and lean back against the couch, feeling cold. I wrap my arms around myself and patiently wait for her to say something. I glance at her out of the corner of my eye and see anger all over her face. “I’m going to kick Nick’s ass.”

Chapter 28

Grammy jumps up off the couch mumbling something that sounds like curse words but I can’t be too sure. She normally doesn’t use swear words in front of me, unless she’s really angry. And that seems to be the case this time. But why, he didn’t do it to her?

             
“Where is he?” If she’s mad about him knocking me up, I can’t imagine her reaction about him ditching me during the hardest time in my life. I stand up and grab her hand, she shoots me daggers.

             
“Grammy, what’s wrong?”

             
“Where’s Nick?” She growls.

             
“We aren’t together anymore.” Her eyes snap to mine, and I flinch. They are menacing and quite frightening.

             
“What do you mean you’re not together anymore? Is this some kind of sick joke?” Okay she woke up on the cranky side of the bed this morning. This is not my grandmother. It must have been the drive. Just as I’m about to bring down the hammer, my mother approaches us.

             
“What the hell is going on? Why is Nick not around and what’s this crap about Nick and Gracie not being together anymore?’ My mother steps back a step and gives me a sympathetic look.             

             
“Look, we should sit down and talk mom.”

             
“Cut the crap Mary. I want answers. Did you know Gracie was pregnant?” Wow, this is not going as planned. Maybe I should have phoned her the news instead. I’m just glad I’m wearing a baggy shirt and loose jeans.

             
“Yes, I’m aware of this. I didn’t tell you because you were busy on your cruises and I felt Gracie should be the one to tell you. But it doesn’t matter because what’s done is done.” Grammy is staring at me intently. My eyes water.

             
“I’m sorry Grammy. I know I screwed up. Believe me, this was not planned and it has been nothing but hell for me.” Her eyes soften as she moves to stand directly in front of me.

             
“You think I’m mad at you?”

             
“Well, yeah you’re disappointed in us. We were reckless and stupid.” I wipe my eyes on my sleeve as she is shaking her head.

             
“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at that son of a bitch that got you in this situation and then left you on your own.” Seems a bit unfair, okay I get the whole leaving me part but the other part was both of us. It takes two to tango and…well we tangoed alright.

             
“Why are you mad at him and not me?”

             
“Because he promised.” Part of me is not paying attention to her words but the other part is like a deer in headlights.

             
“Huh?”

             
“Gracie what happened? Why did you two break up?” I move back to the couch to rest my buttocks and legs. Grammy sits down on the foot rest chair across from me grabbing my hands in hers. I instantly feel a sense of calm at her touch.

             
“I told Nick about my pregnancy the same night he told me about his scholarship he was taking to USC which we already knew about but he also found a place for us to live, so he flipped out. He said we could have kids later in life after we had lived our dreams. But he left me when I told him I wasn’t aborting the baby. He left me alone and scared. I wasn’t sure if I’d made the right choice. I’ve been back and forth on it. But really, I mean what is the right choice? Sure we’ve talked about having kids in the future, but apparently the future is now.”

             
“I’m so sorry Gracie. That is not fair for you to give everything up and let him go scott-free. He is obligated to this baby. He needs to help take care of this baby. God, that makes me so angry.”

             
“Oh not to mention I’ve had the worst case of morning sickness and I passed out at work, and woke up in the hospital. That was fun. So it’s been total chaos in my world. Oh yeah and I’m being called a whore by some jealous bitch who wants Nick.” She’s staring at me speechless.

             
“Wait, you had a job?” Of all the things I just mentioned I had a hunch she’d comment on that. I shake my head.

             
“Yes, I did. Not anymore though, thanks to my parents and their paranoia.” My mother gives me a strange look and I ignore her.

             
“Babydoll, I’m so very sorry you had to deal with this alone. Was Meg there at least?” I smile and squeeze her hand. She’s always liked Meg and Mason.

             
“Yes, she was there and of course Mason too. Oh yeah and they’re finally a couple now.” She smiles, happy at the news.

             
“Oh that is wonderful for them. I used to tell Meg that she’d end up with him. He’s a neat kid.”

             
“Me too. But she always denied it.” I lean back into the couch and prop my feet up. “Do you think I’m selfish to keep this baby?” I ask her seriously, wanting to know her opinion. She leaned in so close to my face I could smell her perfume, which made my nostrils twitch. It was an unpleasant scent but I didn’t bother to ask what it was.

             
“You are doing the right thing. Sure it will be tough at times but you’ll have people to help you. I think you have enough support to make it work. I believe you can do it.” She pats my hand.

             
“I met someone Grammy. And I really care about him. Love him actually.” She looks intrigued. “His name is Carter. He’s coming tonight. I think you’ll like him. We took Tyler trick or treating and he plays games with him. Nick never took time to play with Ty, not really. He’s really special.”

             
“And does he know about the baby?” I nod my head. “Well I’ll meet him. Just a warning, I will observe and interrogate the shit out of him.” Then she looks thoughtful and adds, “The last boy I trusted with my granddaughter betrayed me.”

             
“Grammy, be nice. He’s not like Nick. He won’t hurt me. He was there when I passed out. He was there when I woke up in the hospital. He’s been there and I don’t need you scaring him away. And what do you mean Nick betrayed
you
? How did he do that?”

             
“I’m just saying I’m going to watch him. What are his motives anyway?” It’s clear she is trying to dodge my question, so I decide to drop it for now. But I’m more than curious as to what she means by her statement. I jump off the couch, annoyed now.

             
“He has no motives. Jesus, what is it with you and mom questioning his motives? He’s just a decent guy.” I place my hands on my hips. Grammy notices my bigger bulge and is up in a nanosecond touching my belly.

             
“How old is he?” She’s rubbing my belly all over.

             
“The baby is asleep, I don’t feel any movement. And he’s twenty. He’s got nieces and a nephew.”

             
“That explains why he’s okay with you being pregnant. Older guys are more mature, usually.” That is a fact.

             
“Alright let’s head back into the kitchen. You didn’t eat much dinner. I saw you picking at your plate. Were you nervous about telling me?”

             
“Yes, but also was just thinking about a thousand things at once. I guess I will try to have some turkey and mashed potatoes.”

             
Dinner is quiet again, with the exception of some conversing mostly on Grammy’s part. She’s telling us about her cruise to the Bahamas and all the good looking men on the ship, what she drank and what she did with the other people there. I tune her out as I sit in wonder about what Grammy said. She never told me what Nick promised her. Why would he promise her something and not me? I’ll have to ask her later. I excuse myself and head into the kitchen to get a drink. I hear my father’s voice from the dining room.

             
“Hey sweetheart.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Dinner smells delicious.”

             
“Hey dad, how was work?” My father was called to work on a case.

             
“Long and monotonous. I’m just glad to be home.” He kisses my forehead.

             
“Carter is coming over tonight.”

             
“Oh that’s great honey.” I hear more voices, which seems to get louder by the second. I smile when I hear her voice. She comes into the kitchen to greet me.

             
“Happy Thanksgiving Gracie. Now the party can get started.” She rubs my belly and whispers to the baby. I give her a hug.

             
“Happy Thanksgiving.” I walk back into the dining room with her and sit down at the table.

             
“Hey Gracie.” Mason wraps me in a hug.

             
“Hi Mason. How has your night been?”

             
“Oh it’s been great. My family loves the fact that Meg and I are a couple now. They said they knew it would happen for years.”

             
“I told Meg the same thing.” He nods in agreement.

             
“True, you did. You always teased me about it too. Where’s Carter?”

             
“He’ll be here soon. He went to his sister’s house for dinner.”

             
“Oh, so he plans on having his dessert here huh. I wonder what kind he’s planning on having.” Mason teases, nudging my shoulder. I nudge back.

             
“You’re such a dork.” I tell him laughing. The doorbell rings. I ease out of my chair but practically run to the door and open it before stepping out outside. There’s a slight nip in the air.

             
“Hey beautiful.” I jump in his arms, kissing him. At first it’s urgent and hungry. My hands are in his hair, around his neck and then they find themselves gliding down his perfectly muscled chest. His hands are running up and down my back, which tickles causing me to squirm. When we both try to catch our breaths, we stare at each other.

             
“Well, hello to you too.” He says grinning widely.

             
“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I’ve missed you and thought we could share a private moment before going inside.” And getting interrogated by my grandmother, I wanted to say.

             
“Happy Thanksgiving.” Carter lightly brushes my cheek with his thumb.

             
“You too. I wanted to warn you my Grammy knows of my pregnancy and she’s not happy with my ex taking off. So her trust in the opposite sex is pretty much gone. If she starts twenty questioning you, just answer as truthful as you can. But I’m certain she’ll love you.”              

             
“Okay, I’ll be the gentleman that he never was.”

             
“You already are, in my eyes” I kiss him again before we head back inside hand in hand. I’m nervous but Carter is so calm, collected like he has no care in the world. I wish I had his poise. He looks down at our hands when he realizes they are so slick. Our eyes meet and I give a shy smile. “Sorry, I sweat more these days. Or when I’m nervous.” I whisper.

             
“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one?” He whispers back.

             
“You’re never nervous. I’m nervous for the both of us.” I reply.

             
“Stop being nervous babe. It’s going to be fine.” He squeezes my hand.

             
“Oh there they are. Glad you could join us. I thought you got lost outside somewhere.” Meg says while dragging me to the living room.

             
“What’s going on?” I ask.

             
“Your grandmother and mom were fighting. It was a little awkward.” Oh that’s great, just what we need.

             
“What about?”

             
“You. Grammy is hella pissed at you know who.” I let out a loud breath. I really should have waited to tell her.

             
“Gracie, get your tanned hide in here!” Hearing the firm tone of my grandmother’s voice, Meg and I look at each other. I don’t see Carter in the room with us, assuming he’s already met Grammy. I take a deep breath and approach everyone in the dining room, Meg behind me. Carter is in conversation with my grandmother, Mason and my parents. Tyler looks bored, sitting by himself. Carter looks up and smiles when he sees me, reaching his hand out for me to take. He pushes his chair out, allowing me to sit in his lap comfortably.

             
“What are y’all talking about?” I ask.

             
“I’m just asking questions, getting to know this gem.” Grammy smiles as I look from her to Carter.

             
“Gem?”

             
“Yes, he is actually passing my test so far. I think you got a good one here sweetie. Don’t let him go.” I smile, kissing Carter’s nose, wrapping my arms around his neck, his arms find my waist.