Choices (9 page)

Chapter 20

When I get ready for work Friday, I spend a little more time than usual getting ready. I pretend it’s only because I want to look and feel nice, but I know the truth.
Brody is working tonight, and I want him to notice me.

I’m
already working when I see him walk in.
Why does he have to look so good?
He’s dressed just like the rest of us, but he is irresistible with his unruly hair and five o’clock shadow. He hasn’t shaved today, and even though I thought it was impossible, he looks even better than he usually does.

All I have to do
is close my eyes, and I imagine him leaning down to kiss me. I remember the look on his face and the sound of his voice when he told me I got under his skin. I can smell his skin, fresh and outdoorsy. I’ve always hated listening to girls talk about boys. It’s almost obsessive, and it’s definitely annoying. As I stand here, watching him and remembering him touching me, I have a startling revelation.
I am becoming one of those girls.

Throughout the night, I feel his eyes on me.
When I look toward the bar, he meets my gaze head on. He’s throwing down the gauntlet, waiting for me to make the next move. Every time I go to the bar, he makes my drinks and hands them to me himself. A few times, his hand brushes against mine, and that simple touch ignites a spark in my body.

Being this close to him and not knowing what he’s thinking is torture. Every nerve in my body reacts to him, craving something it didn’t know existed unt
il a few weeks ago. I just hope I have enough sense to control it.

“You’re doing it again.” Alex sneaks up behind me. “You couldn’t be more obvious if you went over and sat on his lap.”

“Alex, you might need to get your eyes checked since you aren’t seeing things clearly.” I try to act like I have no idea what she’s talking about.
Am I being that obvious?

“Oh, I see just fine. You ar
e the one who needs new glasses.” She tosses her ponytail over her shoulder and walks away.

When I finish my shift, all I can think about is going home. This week has been
physically and emotionally draining. I’m going to put on my PJs, watch senseless TV…. Jenna has other plans.

Jenna: Party @ the house

Me: I’m tired

Jenna: Oh, come on! Pleeeeeeez!

Me: Oh, fine

There is no way I can go to a party dressed like this, so I go back to the dorm and change into a sundress and cowboy boots. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl. I’ve heard that my whole life and I’m finding that it’s very true.

I walk into the fraternity house and know immediately it was a mistake to come. I am tired, and these
drunk people are already getting on my nerves. It’s humid, crowded, and overwhelming. Some of the guys loudly greet me, and I am glad they remember me. It always feels awkward walking into a place where I don’t know everyone.

“Hey! Jenna and Declan are playing cards downstairs. Drinks are in the fridge. Help yourself to whatever you want,” one of the guys says. He is a loud, boisterous guy, and I immediately like him. He looks like a big teddy bear.

I head to the kitchen and manage to find a Sprite in the fridge. I find the stairs, and with each step I take, I get a little more nervous. There is a tiny part of me that wants to run away, but I do want to see Declan. He always makes me smile, and I love our little chats.

“
Quincy! Come over here! I’m losing my tail, and I’m hoping you’ll bring me some luck,” Declan yells. He acts so excited to see me that I can’t help but smile. At least one person is happy to see me tonight.

The room is quite large, and there are three tables crowded with players. As I go pull up a chair next to Declan, I try to look around the ro
om without being obvious. I don’t see Brody, so I let out the breath I had been holding since I arrived.

Jenna is standing at a table next to Eric. When she lays her hand on his shoulder, he places his hand over hers and gazes up at her
. He has a look of pure happiness on his face, and when she leans down to whisper in his ear, he absently rubs the back of her bare leg with his free hand. I am suddenly aware of just how much they look like a couple, and I’m a little envious at how easy they make it look.

I feel Brody
before I see him. The air suddenly changes, and it’s as if I can hear the hum of electricity. I turn just in time to see him frowning in my direction. Great. He saw me first. But he turns away, not even acknowledging me.

The on
ly table with an empty seat is the one where Eric is playing. Instinctively, I know that’s where Brody will go. And that’s where I’m going, too. I interrupt Declan to tell him I’m going to check on Jenna. When I stand up, Brody turns to watch me, but I try to act like I don’t notice.

He looks better every time I see him.
Like me, he has changed out of his Players uniform. Wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt, he couldn’t have looked better if he’d been wearing a suit. His hair looks just like I would have expected it to look if I’d woken up beside him. I avoid his eyes because I’m not sure what I’ll see there. And I don’t want him to see the effect he’s having on me.

I pull a chair up between
Eric and the empty chair next to him. Jenna smiles knowingly at me. Hopefully, I’m not that transparent to Brody. “Want to play? We’ll go easy on you, but we’ll still take your money.” Eric jokes. He’s trying to play with Jenna sitting on his lap, but I’m pretty sure the game is not what’s on his mind.

“I’m in. I’ll even show Quince how to play a little.” Brody sits down next to me, just like I had planned. When he is around, my body has a mind of its own. My cheeks burn, my heart races, and my body aches. Just.
For. Him.

“I’m not a great partner, so if you lose, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.” I’m giving h
im a chance to change his mind.

H
e sits in the chair next to me. When his leg brushes against mine, I almost jump out of my skin. I jerk my leg away, and I see him smile as he leans into me. “I bet you’d be a great partner.” Wow. All of the blood in my body just rushed between my legs. It is almost painful, sitting this close to him.

The dealer deals the cards, and Brody picks up his hand. He explains each move to me, and I find it easier to understand than I thought it would be. He smells so
good, more enticing than any cologne available. His blue eyes are enchanting, and I feel like the most beautiful girl in the world when he turns them on me. His lips are full, and I wonder if they’ll taste as good as they did last weekend. He smiles wickedly and leans into me, “I might have to call your bluff. Baby, you don’t have a good poker face.”

I burst out laughing as what he says registers. It puts me at ease, and I find myself enjoying the game. He is a good teacher, serious but patient.

“Hey, Eric and I are heading upstairs. Come find me when you’re done.” Jenna says they are going to dance, but I have a feeling I won’t find her there later. They can’t keep their hands off of each other.

I glance back at Brody, and his expression is suddenl
y dark. He doesn’t seem to like being left alone with me. When I start to stand, he puts a hand on my knee. “Don’t go.” He jerks his hand away, but his eyes continue to plead with me. I sit back down, and his eyes roam over me. Everywhere he looks comes alive. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

I look over my shoulder at Declan. He is having a good time, and when he sees me, he smiles broadly. Giving me
a thumbs up, he goes back to his game. I hear Brody clear his throat, and when I look at him, he has an odd expression on his face. Leaning closer to me, he whispers, “Do you want to go somewhere else?” I nod. “Can you go to my room? I’ll be up there in a minute.”

Trying not to look suspicious, I stand and say, “I’m going to find Jenna. Thanks for the tutorial, Brody.” He waves his hand, as if he’s dismissing me.
I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.

I slip silently out of the room, not looking back.
As I walk up the stairs, I try to look like I know where I’m going. I know exactly where Brody’s room is, but I’ve never been inside. There are a few people in the hall, waiting for the bathroom. I join the line, and when I am the last person waiting, I hurriedly open Brody’s door and slip inside.

Closing the door, I lean back against it and take a deep breath. I fumble around for the li
ght switch and flip it on. Looking around Brody’s room, I feel like a thief in the night. It’s like eating fruit from the forbidden tree.

There is a large corkboard on one wall. He has his work and school schedule
s tacked up right alongside pictures of his family. I immediately recognize pictures of the mountains near the cabin, and I wish I was there now instead of hiding in a room, hoping no one knows where I am.
This is insane.

This room is much larger than
Declan’s. There is enough room for a large bed and desk. A sofa is pushed against one wall, facing a television and stereo. I don’t know exactly what to do with myself, so I sit on the sofa. That makes me a little less nervous than the bed. I can hear the party going on around me, music blaring through the walls and people stumbling down the hallway.

Just as I’m going down the long list of all the reasons
why this is a bad idea, Brody opens the door and steps inside. Standing with his back against the door, he looks as if he could devour me. It excites me, but I am afraid of the unknown. “You really are here, in my room. Do you know how many times I’ve imagined this? How many times I lay in my bed, thinking about you?” I feel bared to him, as if his eyes penetrate every barrier I have in place.

“So, what am I doing here, Brody?” I ask,
and my voice cracks. I hope he doesn’t notice. I clear my throat and try again, “You confuse me. I’m not really sure what you want from me.”

“Quince, it’s not about what I want
from
you. It’s about what I want
with
you,” he says as he walks toward me. When he extends his hand to me, I put my hand in his. Pulling me to my feet, he steps into me. I’m sure my body was made just for his.

The music vibrates through the walls, an
d he begins to slowly dance with me. I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes. My other senses are heightened as I breathe him in. This must be what temptation and passion smell like. Every touch awakens a new desire in me, and I want to taste him.

Rising to
my tiptoes, I press my lips to his neck. His head falls back as he sucks in a breath. I grow braver, licking and sucking the exposed skin under his ear. Reaching behind me, he tangles his hands in my hair and whispers, “Fuck, Quince. You are driving me crazy.” Knowing I can make him feel this way gives me courage.

I lift my head and watch him. His chest is visibly rising and falling, his eyes are closed, and his body is tense. I move my hands down his chest, until I reach his waist. When I li
ft his shirt, he reaches over his shoulder and pulls it over his head. I step back into him, and he bends to kiss me. No matter where he touches me with his hands, his lips moving on mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth, that is the most sensual of all. It’s addictive.

I imitate him, trying to give as much as I receive. Winding my arms around his neck, I wrap my fingers in his hair. Suddenly, we are moving as he pushes me backward, until my back is against the wall.
He lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. His hands are on my thighs, pulling me into him. My dress rises up, and his hands are on my bare skin. His tongue swirls on my neck, and he begins licking his way down my chest.

Sensing
an opportunity, I reach over and turn off the light. His head snaps up. “Why did you do that? I want to see this beautiful body of yours.” There is a streetlight shining through the window, and I can see his face in the shadows.

“It’s just embarrassing to me. I’ve never done this
before…” I trail off, realizing I might have said too much. He lowers his head, kissing my neck. I am so sensitive everywhere he touches me, and my movements grow more frenzied against him.

“You
’ve never done
this
before or you’ve never done
any
of this before?” He pulls back, watching my face. Instead of answering, I use my thighs to pull him closer. When I try to kiss him, he pulls back. “No, wait a minute. You’re not… I mean, you have done this before, right?”

I shake my head, knowing it might end ever
ything. “Quince, are you saying you’re a virgin?” I nod and look away. “Shit, baby. I don’t want to do it like this, hiding in my room at a fraternity party. You deserve so much more than that.” He bends to kiss me, much more gently, taking his time. “But there are other things we can try.” And he begins to show me.

Lowering my feet to the ground, he leads me to the bed.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his head down to kiss me. I don’t want him to stop. When he is touching me, I feel beautiful and wanted. It chases away my insecurities and leaves me breathless.