Choices (10 page)

He sits on the bed and pulls me onto his lap, my legs straddling his body. My dress is pushed up over my hips, and I feel exposed. But when he kisses me
again, I forget everything. His lips move from my mouth to my neck. My head falls back, exposing my chest to him, and he begins kissing me lower. I press my hips into his, and I can feel the bite of his zipper pressing into me. “My God, Quince, you feel so good. I want you so much, it’s all I think about.” His words make me want more, and I feel the tension building inside of me. His hands wrap round my hips, rocking me back and forth. I close my eyes, and I lose control when my body shatters around us. Again, I am shocked by the intensity of the moment. He slows our movements, and kisses me tenderly. Pulling me close, we remain wrapped around each other for several minutes, neither of us saying a thing, as our breathing becomes even.

“Quince, have you told him? Does he know you have someone else waiting for you?”
Instantly, I come crashing back to earth.

“I told him there is s
omeone else. I’m working on it.” I don’t know how, but I will tell him something. I slide off of his lap and slowly stand. I’m already feeling guilty… and overwhelmed. Smoothing my clothes, I look at the ground.

“Quince, look at me. I’m not like him. I don’t do the girlfriend thing, and I’m not good for you. But so help me, I want you. I don’t deserve you or any of this. If you’re looking for more, I don’t know, baby, if I can be that guy.” When he looks into
my eyes like this, I can see a war waging inside of him. “Tell me you want this, too.”

I nod my head.
“I want this. I want you, too.” I decide right then and there that I will take whatever he gives me.

Smiling crooke
dly, he says, “Next weekend is Labor Day weekend, and we have three days off. Friday night, after work, we can leave and go to the cabin. If we do this, we’re not doing it here. You have all week to decide if you want to go. Just remember, if you do, there is no turning back.”

I can’t speak; I just turn toward the door. I have to get out of here, away from him, so that I can think more clearly. He pulls my back into him and gently places a kiss to my bare shoulder. “Just think about it.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. And then I walk out the door.

Chapter 21

Jenna and I leave for Collier first thing Saturday morning. I am so glad to see her smiling face. With class, work, and her time with Eric, we haven’t spent as much time together as I thought we would. This morning, she’s not pulling any punches. “So, what’s going on with you and your men?”

“My men?
Let’s talk about
your
man.” I want to talk to her, but I don’t want to steal her thunder. She is happy, and I don’t want my drama to overshadow that.

“OK, so I totally kn
ow you just changed the subject. But I will let you only because I adore Eric, and I would love to talk about him. Well, you know I spent the night over there twice this week? Girl, he is so hot! If we don’t do something soon, I might spontaneously combust! He’s so romantic, and I think he’s the real deal. You know what I mean?” She has a way of drawing you into her stories, relaying them with her usual dramatic flair.

“Jenna!” I giggle. “Why don’t you just jump his bones? Seriously, what’s he
gonna do? Push you off?” I know that if Jenna ever shows him her sexy side, he won’t be able to resist. She’s just that hot.

“Don’t think I haven’t thought about it! I just know I don’t want to mess this up. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me, and even if I don’t like it, what he says makes sense.” She suddenly turns
to me. “That’s it. Now, it’s your turn. What’s up with the hotties?”

“Really, Jenna?
The hotties?” I scoff, but I have to agree with her. “To answer your question, I did tell Declan that I can’t get serious because I’m talking to someone else, but we talk every night. The other night, he kissed me. It was so precious. But last night, I made out with Brody again.”

“You did what?
When?” Her eyes are round, and she is visibly shocked. I must have been more stealth than I thought.

“I went to his room during
the party. When I left, I sent a text to Declan, telling him I got tired and went home. Anyway, Jenna, when Brody touches me, I lose my mind. I didn’t even know it was possible to have an orgasm without having sex, and he’s all I think about.” I’m fully aware that I’ve now lied to Declan twice.
What has gotten into me?

“What the hell? He gave you an orgasm? Wait.
Nevermind. I can totally see Brody giving someone an orgasm just by looking at them. You, my friend, are in trouble.” It feels so good to have someone I can talk with about this.

We chat the rest of the way home, and
I am again reminded of how blessed I am to have her. Girl talk fixes everything. It helps me forget my worries, and I relax as we get closer to Collier.

No matter how much I dread it, coming home
does feel good. I have missed my dad and his ability to make me laugh, even when I don’t want to. I have missed my mom and all of her great advice. And, yes. Yes, I have missed Katie, the girl who looks so much like me, who has been such a huge part of my life, but who I will never truly understand.

When I drop Jenna off at her house, I am ready to be home. Katie surprises me when she runs out to meet me in the driveway. Hugging as if we haven’t seen each
other in forever, it reminds me of our childhoods. “Quincy! I am so glad you came home! Get in here so we can catch up.” Laughing, she pulls me toward the house. Her cheeks are pink with excitement, and she looks so much like a child.

I laugh as I remind her, “Katie, I have to get my stuff out of the trunk. Come, help me.” We grab my overnight bag and laundry. “Let me throw my laun
dry in the washer, and we’ll catch up.”

Katie lies
on the bed while I sort my clothes. “Quince, you have no idea how awful it is without you. Mom and Dad are smothering me, and they watch everything I do. It’s like they are just waiting for me to screw up. I hate it.” I really do feel sorry for her. I’m sure they focus on her more because I’m not here to divert their attention. And maybe she is doing more to attract their attention.

“Oh, Katie, you know they just worry about you. We all do. How have you been?” I try to act concerned without alarming her.

“I don’t know why everyone worries about me so much. I haven’t done anything in a long time.” She honestly believes that. “Just tell me about school. Do you like it? Are you working? Have you met any guys?” She sits up, cross-legged on my bed, barely containing her excitement.

“School is hard, but I study a lot. Work is work, you know? And yes, I have met somebody. In fact, I’ve met two
somebodies.” I plop down on the bed beside her.

“Wow!
Two guys? That’s kind of crazy for you, don’t you think? Have you actually gone out with either of them?” She looks incredulous.
Why is it so hard for people to believe someone might actually like me?

“I went out with one of them, to th
e movies. It was so fun! He is absolutely adorable, and I can’t think of one bad thing to say about him. The other one? I really don’t know what to say about him. He’s hot, but I don’t know if he’s serious. I’m just going wait to see how it all unfolds, I guess.” I want to confide in her, but I have to be careful not to tell her too much.

The door opens, and Mom comes in. “Hey! How’s my college girl doing?” I rush to hug her. Coming home feels good, but nothing compares to this.

“I’m learning how to do laundry, Mom. Aren’t you proud?” I joke. “I might also take a few classes on ironing while I’m there,” I add sarcastically.

“Just
be glad you didn’t have to do chores before. Some kids are treated like servants, you know?” I roll my eyes at her, loving our inside joke. “Come on, girls. Dad’s waiting for us to eat brunch.” My mom’s cooking is certainly something I have missed.

Dad hugs me, and I squeeze him tight
. For some reason, tears gather in my eyes. We have a special bond, and it only gets deeper over time. I love my Mom, but she is so tied up with Katie and her issues that it’s hard for her to see anything else. Dad and I have grown close out of necessity. While Mom was off rescuing Katie, we had each other. “Daddy, I’ve missed you!” I don’t want to let go of him.

“Missed you, too, baby. I’m just glad you took time out of your
busy school schedule to come see the old folks who raised you.” He is a gentle, loving soul. I sure have missed my Daddy.

While we eat, I fill them in
on school, work, and Jenna. At times like this, it’s easy to forget the storm cloud that hangs above us. We’ve all learned to appreciate the good times while they last.

As the day passes, I get restless. I know there is a fraternity party tonight, and I
can’t help but wonder what Declan and Brody are doing. I know that neither of them have a shortage of girls waiting on the sidelines. Then, there is the issue of Brody’s proposition. It’s never far from my mind.

Katie and I watch a movie together, a
nd I decide to go to bed early. Just as I fall asleep, my phone rings. It’s Declan. Smiling, I answer. “Hey.” I get a little giddy, just knowing he’s thinking about me.

“I was hoping it wasn’t too late to call. Were you awake?”
Hearing his voice makes me wish I’d stayed in Knoxville this weekend. Maybe I wouldn’t be so confused right now if I were there with him.

“I was just going to sleep, but I
am happy you called. I was wondering about the party. Am I missing anything?” I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t tell me about another one of Brody’s hook-ups.

“Nah.
You’re not missing anything. I’m actually trying to go to bed, but the music is too loud. That’s one of the bad things about living here. You never get to sleep on party nights.” His voice grows playful. “Plus, it wasn’t as much fun without you.” He is flirting, and I like it.

We talk for a while, and w
hen I look at the time, I am surprised at how late it has gotten. “Well, I better get some sleep. We have to drive back tomorrow.” I am so tired, I could fall asleep talking.

“It was just good to hear your voice. Be safe tomorrow, and I’ll talk to you later.” As I drift off, my last thought is that the decision
about the cabin should be easier than it is.

Chapter 22

Once Jenna and I get back to school, the week seems to pass qui
ckly. My classes are getting harder, and I am studying more than I ever have. In high school, I didn’t really have to study. Apparently, those days are over.

With my work and class schedules, I haven’t had much time for anything else. Declan sits with me in class and walks me home afterwards. Every night, he calls before I go to bed. Since Jenna is gone most nights now, his phone calls help break up the silence. He is still flirty, and he has never mentioned the conversation about the other guy. I don’t either, though I know it’s not fair to him.

Jenna and I sneak in a couple of lunches
together, but she is just as busy as I am. She plans to go home with Eric over the weekend, and I have avoided talking to her about my plans. I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do, but I’m sure she assumes I will go back home.

Brody is messing with my mind. In class, he avoids me. I worked with him on Tuesday, and other than a few smiles my way
, he did a good job being indifferent. The whole situation confuses me. And what makes him think I’d go anywhere with him when he’s acting like that?

Friday, I pack a bag and get ready for work.
I try to convince myself that I will leave straight from work and go to Collier, but I’m not sure I even believe it myself.

When I see Brody behind the bar, I notice a distinct difference in him. When his eyes land on me, he doesn’t look away. Instead he watches
me, expectantly, demanding an answer. I don’t know why I ever thought it would be possible to resist him.

By the end of the night, my body is alive with anticipa
tion. I feel Brody behind me when I am closing out my last ticket. He leans into me and asks, “So what’s it gonna be, Quince? Are you leaving here with me?” I can’t look at him.

“
Brody, you haven’t even talked to me this week. I mean, what am I supposed to think?” I keep my back to him, but he steps to my side.

He puts a finger under my chin and slowly turns my face toward him, “I was giving you a chance to think about it. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. When you are with me, I want it to be your choice.
I want to know that you want this as much as I do.”

His eyes are so intense, I turn away. “I brought my things with me. Just let me know when you’re ready.” I had planned to at leas
t put up a fight, but his words slay my doubts.

“I’m ready when you are. Devin is closing the bar for me.”
Hands on my shoulders, he turns me to face him again. “Are you sure about this? No matter what, you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable this weekend.”

“Let’s just go, Brody.” If he keeps giving me a chance to back out, I just might do it. “Are we driving separately?” I might like to have my car, just in case I don’t want to stay
all weekend.

“I thought I would drive. You look tired, and it’s already past midnight. We can leave your car
here.” Suddenly, I do feel exhausted, so I merely nod my head in agreement.              

When we are both ready, Brody puts an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. Leaning down, he says, “I hoped y
ou’d say yes. I thought about this all week.”

When I look up at him, it’s hard to believe I had any doubts.
Alex steps in front of us, glaring at Brody. “What are you doing, Brody? She’s not one of your bar flies.”
What the hell?

“Alex, this is none of your business.
Quincy can make her own decisions, and I have no intentions of hurting her. In fact, I have a feeling it might be the other way around. So if you’ll get out of our way…” I am stunned into silence, and Alex silently steps to the side. Her mouth is hanging open, and I bet he’s never talked to her like that before.

Once we are in his Jeep
, he turns on the radio, shoots me a quick smile, and drives into the night.