Choices of Fate (Fate Series) (2 page)

There was no mother, no friends to speak of offering much needed help and advice. The only assistance since Chloe was born had come from an unlikely source, an unfathomably kind couple that lived next door to the house Alexa purchased in Fishers, IN. Alexa couldn’t help but smile to herself as she thought of Jesse and Jill. She had lived there for several months and hadn’t so much as waved at her neighbors, but shortly after she arrived home that first day with Chloe the doorbell rang. When she opened the door, she was greeted by the cutest little spitfire of a woman and her teddybear of a husband, both with arms full of gift bags and trays of food. Overwhelmed by their kindness and embarrassed with her own conduct, Alexa apologized repeatedly for her unsocial behavior. Each time the warm couple brushed it off and assured they were not offended and understood she had a lot on her plate.

For the next week or so, Jill showed up every afternoon with a home-cooked supper, only staying a few minutes to gush over the baby. Both she and Jesse were really good about being helpful and friendly, without being intrusive or overbearing.

But for them and Chloe, Alexa was alone in the world, a painful reality she had grown quite accustomed to over the years, but these last few weeks had begun to erode the protective wall she had built around her heart. She longed for someone to connect with, to lean on in these difficult times. Not so long ago she thought she had finally found the one who would accept her, who would be there no matter what, still like everyone else, he walked away.
 

As Barb started to exit the exam room, she turned back and looked kindly into Alexa’s tear stained face. “After three easy babies, my youngest came along and knocked me right on my ass. This being your first, I can only imagine how scary this is for you, but don’t you worry. Dr. Kline is the best. I’ve seen him soothe babies in crying fits far worse than this. He’ll figure this out and get your sweet baby back to rights in no time, you’ll see.”

Alexa could only offer a half-hearted smile, unable to speak for the fear of completely losing it and falling into yet another crying fit of her own. As she paced the room trying desperately to console Chloe, she found herself sending up a little prayer that Dr. Kline could help her. Not usually one for prayer, she had always considered herself as more spiritual than religious, but at this point she found herself praying more often than not. Hell, she might even entertain calling in a priest to perform an exorcism if there was even a small hope that it would give her little munchkin some relief.

✧

After a brief reprieve that had Alexa hoping her baby might finally be giving in to the exhaustion, Chloe’s wailing kicked into high gear again. Bouncing her frantically as she turned to pace towards the door, Alexa let out startled yelp as she nearly walked straight into the man who had just entered.

“Ms. Ryan, I am terribly sorry if I frightened you. I did knock, but I suppose it would be a little difficult to hear a bulldozer coming through the wall over this little sweetheart here. I think we can safely say that her lungs are in working order.”

Alexa’s lifted her gaze from Dr. Kline’s chest to the charming smile that reached up to deep green eyes that were devastating yet oddly comforting. To say he was handsome was a bit of an understatement.
 

He took a step back and extended his hand in greeting, “I am Dr. Elijah Kline.”

After taking a moment to regain her composure, Alexa shifted Chloe to her left hip and shook the offered hand. The brief touch caught Alexa by surprise, but it was over before she could give it much thought.

 
“It’s very nice to meet you, Dr. Kline. I can’t thank you enough for squeezing us in on such short notice.”

“It is no trouble. Most of my patients are referrals that require immediate attention, so my staff and I do all that we can to accommodate.”

As he turned to wash his hands in the corner sink, Alexa took the opportunity to really look him over. At easily six and a half feet, of what Alexa guessed to be well-toned muscle, despite the lab coat that left a great deal to the imagination, Dr. Kline was an impressive man. If it wasn’t for the flecks of gray in his chestnut hair, she would have placed him around thirty years old. Of course he had to be much older based on his profession and reputation.

He turned back to face them, reaching for Chloe, with an expression that implied his request for permission to hold her. As she handed the distraught baby over, Alexa couldn’t help but feel like she had met Dr. Kline before, even though that was impossible. There was no way she could forget a man like him, yet there was something about him that she couldn’t quite place. A warm familiarity that immediately put her at ease and made her feel like everything was going to be all right.
 

Hell, there was a time when she might have actually been attracted to him, yet after everything that had happened in the last couple of years, she couldn’t muster an interest for any man, no matter how good looking or charming he might be on the surface.

✧

“Now, Ms. Ryan, can you tell me when you first noticed a change in Chloe’s normal routine and behavior?”
 

Opening her mouth to answer, Alexa halted in amazement as she looked over to Chloe in Dr. Kline’s arms.
 

“Oh my God. How did you do that? I think this is the first time in two weeks that she has stopped crying when she wasn’t either asleep or nursing.” Choking back a sob, Alexa continued shakily, “I don’t understand, what am I doing wrong?”

Giving in to the exhaustion and frustration that had been weighing on her night and day, Alexa crumpled into a chair and sobbed into her hands.
 

Dr. Kline moved to stand beside the chair and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he let her cry it out for a few moments and Alexa’s sobs turned into silent tears.

After several minutes quietly crying, Alexa snapped out of it and started to lift her head as a blaze of embarrassment began to light her cheeks.
 

Hastily swiping at the tears, she turned to face Dr. Kline and a seemingly happy Chloe chewing on his stethoscope as if everything was totally normal.
 

“I’m so sorry, Doctor. I don’t know what came over me, I hardly ever cry, but lately it seems like that’s all I do. I just feel so lost and helpless.”

“Please, call me Elijah. There is absolutely no need to apologize. I promise you are not the first, nor will you be the last young mother to cry in my office. I tend to be something of a last resort when a pediatrician cannot find a traditional diagnosis. As was explained to you when you made the appointment, my methods are somewhat unorthodox and my fees are rather...hefty. We have our own lab onsite and some of the most state of the art diagnostic equipment in the state. That type of convenience does not come cheap, but more than that I have found that the pricing of my services eliminates patients who merely did a Google search before exhausting more traditional options. Of course, once we get through the initial consultation and determine that a patient requires further services, arrangements can be made to defer some of the costs.”

Alexa merely nodded. The receptionist had explained most of that when she scheduled the appointment and had also mentioned that they did not accept any form of insurance. Having not had health insurance since she left her job shortly before Chloe was born, that wasn’t a concern. When the receptionist indicated that they would require a large deposit before the visit, Alexa had been a little surprised, but for the first time she was truly grateful for the large trust fund her parents left her that she’d only learned about on her eighteenth birthday.
 

When she left the attorney’s office that day all those years ago, she felt anything but grateful. Abandoned, betrayed, furious, those words better described the emotions radiating from Alexa as she not so politely thanked Mr. Smith and stormed out of his office.
 

Snapping back to the present and feeling more like herself with Chloe playing so contentedly on Dr. Kline’s lap, Alexa finally began answering his question regarding the change in Chloe.

“I think it started a little over two weeks ago. At first she was just a little fussy around meal times. Within a few days she was pushing away any solid foods that I would offer and crying constantly. The only time she doesn’t cry is when she’s asleep or nursing, which that doesn’t last long. She only sleeps in short spurts and I am so sore from the constant nursing and the biting that I can barely stand it long enough for her to calm down. I’ve tried everything to soothe her, warm baths, wearing her in a wrap, rocking, walking, bouncing, swinging, singing to her…nothing has worked for more than a few minutes at a time.” Alexa considered the most troubling change that had occurred, of course that wasn’t something she could mention to the doctor, or anyone else for that matter, so she only made a general reference to that issue. “I used to be so, um, intuitive about her needs, but I can’t read her at all anymore.”

Bouncing Chloe on one knee, Dr. Kline leaned over to the small counter and scribbled some notes on his pad. “When did you first introduce solids, and what did you offer?”

“I started her out around seven months with all of the recommended foods, orange and yellow vegetables, bananas, baby cereal. She did great with all of it. I didn’t try anything new until she started refusing to eat, but she never does much more than let the spoon touch her tongue before she pushes whatever it is away.”

“Did you notice any changes in her nursing habits before she started refusing solids?”

“Um, yeah, I guess so, she started biting me sometimes and was a bit rougher than normal. I took that as a sign that it might be time to start weaning, but she seemed to want to nurse more than ever.”

Not one to be shy about such things, Alexa continued. “She really seemed to favor my right breast, but the nipple was so raw, and I even noticed it was bleeding some so I tried to only let her nurse on the left side for a while. She was so rough though, it wasn’t long before that nipple was in pretty bad shape too. I tried to express the milk by hand and feed her with a bottle or a sippy cup, but she won’t take it that way. She only wants to nurse directly, so I’ve been doing my best to suffer through it.”

As Alexa spoke, Dr. Kline remained quiet, nodding occasionally as he scribbled a few more notes and did a brief examination of Chloe as she looked up at him adoringly, seeming to love the attention. He looked in her ears, eyes and mouth. Felt her glands and listened to her heart, lungs and stomach.

✧

“Ok, Alexa, may I call you Alexa?”

Nodding her agreement, she couldn’t help but feel that spark of recognition again as he said her name.

“I would like to draw some blood to run some tests, if that’s all right with you.”

“Of course, whatever you need to do. I just want to help my baby.”

Smiling at the sincerity in her voice, he added, “We will need some of your blood as well. There are some genetic tests that can aid us significantly in narrowing down the possibilities for what is going on with Chloe.”

Again, she quickly agreed to do whatever was necessary, though it occurred to her that she couldn’t remember ever having her blood drawn before. Actually she didn’t think she’d ever even been to see a real doctor. She never got sick and when she was pregnant, she opted for a midwife and a water birth at a birthing center. It didn’t matter, he could have asked for one of her pinkies and she would have gladly sacrificed the appendage if it would get Chloe back to normal.

“Could you have her father drop by the office as soon as possible, we will need to collect a sample of his blood for the tests as well.”

Alexa felt the blood drain from her face as the doctor’s request registered in her mind.

“Oh, um, I don’t think that will be possible. He’s out of the country, for work. I’m not sure when he’ll be back.” The lie came out easily. It was far simpler and infinitely less embarrassing than trying to explain the truth. At least the doctor hadn’t presumed she was married like most people did. Of course that was probably only because she had to indicate her marital status on the paperwork she completed. Alexa had conveniently left the information about Chloe’s father blank. Of course, she couldn’t have provided most of the information if she wanted to since he had left her before she even knew she was pregnant.

“We’ll run the tests that we can with your two samples. If we determine there is a need based on those results, perhaps we could make arrangements to get a sample of her father’s blood shipped to us?”

Alexa shook her head in agreement, hoping further tests wouldn’t be necessary. She would cross that bridge when she got to it.

“If you will excuse me for a few moments, I’ll get one of my nurses to come draw your blood. When you are finished she will escort you to my office to discuss the next steps.”

He stood and moved toward Alexa as Chloe reached out for her with a big smile on her face. It seemed like forever since she had seen her baby girl smile. Alexa scooped Chloe into a big hug as relief washed over her.
 

Dr. Kline reached for the door knob looking back at them with a knowing smile on his face. “Everything is going to be all right, Alexa.”

She leaned her cheek on the top of Chloe’s head and inhaled the sweet smell of her fine chestnut hair. Feeling her baby’s body relax into her as she drifted off for a much needed and overdo nap, Alexa smiled back. Without even trying to dig into the how or why of it, she believed him.

CHAPTER 2 -
Girl's Night Out

Standing in the exam room with her eyes closed, gently swaying back and forth while Chloe slept peacefully against her shoulder, Alexa’s thoughts drifted back to the night her life changed forever. A year and a half had passed, yet the memory, and the pain, were as fresh as if it had occurred only hours ago.
 

She was out for the first time in months at a happy hour with Jenny and Sarah, a couple of coworker friends. At least they were the closest things resembling friends that she had at the time. Sarah was sweet and quiet, but she seemed to go along with whatever Jenny wanted. No one could really blame her since Jenny was technically her boss and she was pretty awful to work for if she didn’t like you. She was petty and jealous, especially of Sarah and Alexa. While she always put on a fake smile and said only nice things to her face, Alexa would overhear Jenny ridiculing her weight and general appearance behind her back. It was that way since the first day she started in the tax group at Ernst & Young in Indianapolis. This night was no different.