Choosing Rena (12 page)

“
Don’t
cry,
ma peekôn,
you needed it
.
” He cupped her face, brushing a tear off her dark brown
cheek. She stared at him in a daze, as if not certain how to answer
him. He immediately recognized the signs of sub-drop.
He continued to speak softly to her, ignoring his
erection, the knocking on the door, everything – nothing was more
important in that moment than taking care of her.

When her sobs quieted, he pressed a
kiss against the crown of her head. “Okay now?”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay
again.” Her flat tone worried him. “Please let me go.”

He weighed his options. If he pushed
any harder, he was sure she’d use her safeword. It wasn’t something
he could risk. “All right, but meet me tonight after work. We need
to talk.”

“Yeah, right. Like you ever want to
talk, White Boy.” She turned away.

He caught her arm. “We can’t keep
continuing like this, Rena. Something’s got to give. Pick a neutral
place. One where we can talk privately and where you feel
safe.”

She studied him for a moment, before
coming to a decision. “I’ll text you the time and
place.”

He nodded, watching her stalk out of
the bathroom. He rubbed his hands over his face, the scent of her
on his fingers teasing him. “Damn, Levough, you know how to fuck up
a wet dream. And you wonder why she keeps running from you. You’re
your own worst enemy.”

Chapter
Eleven

Rena finished the rest of her shift in
a daze. She was still reeling from her encounter with Jackson. If
someone would have told her she’d one day be making out with a
younger man while on duty, she’d have kicked their butts from here
to China. She was a professional, or was supposed to be one. There
was just something about Jackson which made her forget her own
name. Not only did the pure dominance radiating off him draw her,
but it was also the moments of tenderness he tried to hide. “I’m a
fool, that’s what I am.”

Boarding the “L” she made her way
towards the back of the car, keeping her eye out for trouble. As it
pulled away from the station, she wondered what she was going to
do. Jackson deserved a chance to plead his case for having a
relationship between them, but she was scared –
uncertain.

And uncertainty was something she very
seldom felt. She wanted what he could offer but at what price?
Could she once again risk her heart, her submission to a man nearly
fifteen years her junior? What if he walked away like Louis did the
first time she refused to blindly put him first?

Feeling the vibration of her phone,
she pulled it out of her pocket. She was pleasantly shocked when
she saw Jude’s number and a text requesting a meeting tonight at
Olivia’s club. Glancing down at her watch, she judged she had just
enough time to make it home, change her clothing, and make it out
to the warehouse district where Olivia’s was located. Suddenly, she
felt a bit lighter, but then again, Olivia always had that effect
on her. She just absolutely adored the little Domme.

Typing out a reply on the
ridiculously small keyboard, she sent a reply back to Jude assuring
him that she’d be there at eight. Shortly after hitting the send
button, she exited the “L”. Walking the block to her apartment, she
wondered why she was being invited to
Olivia’s
. She didn’t have a
membership at the club. Since it was an exclusive and rather
expensive member’s only club, and frankly, she couldn’t afford one
with what the mall was paying her. That wasn’t to say she hadn’t
been there before at Olivia’s request.

She nodded to the Star security guard,
a young black man named Edward, who was talking on the phone at the
security check-in as she walked through the lobby. Just before she
entered the elevator, he flagged her down.

“Ms. MacAllister!”

She looked up in surprise as she
stepped inside the elevator. “Yes?”

Smiling broadly at her, Eddie as he
liked to be called, joined her by sticking his arm in the opening
to keep the doors from shutting. “Sorry, I was on the phone but you
have a package. A gentleman stopped by today and left this for
you.” He handed her a small plain brown paper wrapped box with a
heavily embossed linen card attached to it. Her name was scrawled
in elegant calligraphy across the surface of it.

“Thanks, Eddie.” She took the package.
“I’m headed upstairs, but I’ll be going out the rest of the night –
so don’t get into any trouble, you hear?”

He shook his head. “Not a problem, Ms.
MacAllister. Have a great night.” He stepped back, allowing the
doors to shut. Staring down at the package in curiosity, she pried
a finger under the card, tucking it into her bag. As the elevator
rose, she unwrapped the brown paper. She frowned down at a familiar
wooden box, dread filling her stomach. She hadn’t seen a box like
this since she’d left Louis. The polished mahogany finish gleamed
in the bright elevator light. Her fingers trembled slightly as she
opened the hinged top. She nearly dropped it as the elevator
arrived at her floor. The ding as the doors slid open sounded far
away. Stumbling out the elevator, she couldn’t stop staring at the
familiar red leather collar. The silver medallion attached to it
with the initials L. A. V. III had her heart plummeting.

“I see you got it.”

Her head jerked up at Louis’s voice.
The storm, which had been brewing inside of her all day, exploded
at his arrogant pose against her apartment door. “What the hell is
the meaning of this?” She wanted to throw the damn box at him but
refrained.

“What does it look like, little
subbie?” He pushed off the door. “Surely it hasn’t been so long you
haven’t forgotten what your collar looks like.”

She strove for patience. “I don’t know
what you’re trying to pull, Mr. Vayarti, but I don’t appreciate
it…”

He held up a hand. “Give me five
minutes. That’s all I ask. Surely you can spare five minutes for me
after what we meant to each other.”

Inwardly, she seethed. She didn’t want
to give him anything, not five minutes, not even the air he was
breathing. Resentment seethed inside her.

“What do you want? I have an
appointment tonight…”

A frown crossed his handsome face.
“What I want is to know why you have another man coming by your
home late at night. I don’t share my subs. You know
that.”

The resentment turned to
fury at his words. “Excuse me?
You
don’t share your subs? Let’s get something
straight, Louie…I’m not your sub anymore nor do I want to be.” She
shoved the box at him. “I don’t want this damn thing. It’s because
of you I haven’t even been in the scene. You and your damned double
standards and total disregard for anyone else’s feelings.
Submissive isn’t exchangeable for doormat, and maybe when you
finally figure that out, you’ll be able to hang on to a sub for
longer than six months.”

His nostrils flared. “I came here to
see if we can start anew while I’m in town. Evidently I was wrong
about Sabella. She couldn’t give me what I needed. I
thought…”

She stared at him in disbelief. “…I
could…or would.” Shaking her head, she pushed past him to put her
key in the lock. “That ship has sailed. I’ve nothing left to offer
you or any Dom. I don’t want anything from you, but to be left
alone. Good-bye.”

He grasped her arm before she could
enter her apartment. Glaring down at the offending hand, she
gritted her teeth. “Let go before I call the police to escort you
off the premises or worse.”

“This isn’t finished.” He pushed her
into the apartment, then entered behind her. “We’re going to settle
this little spat and if you’re lucky I’ll go easy on your
punishment…”

Her hands flew to her hips. “Dude,
what the hell are you smoking? There was no little spat. You kicked
my ass to the curb when I refused to share you with another woman.
We’re done and have been since you ruined my damn
career!”

He studied her, crossing his arms over
his wide chest. “Perhaps, I acted a little impulsively…but I was
angry at the time. A submissive never dictates where a relationship
goes. It’s the Dom’s job to lead her there. The fact you tried
pissed me off.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You were angry? I
was the one who walked into our home, to our playroom and found you
flogging another woman.”

“My playroom,” he corrected. “My
penthouse. You lived there on my good graces.”

She growled. “Good graces!
This is exactly why it didn’t work out between us. I lived with you
for nearly eight months, Louis. I moved all my things in, gave up
my house to be
your
submissive, but not once did you consider the fact I thought
of it as my home as well as yours? That as a person, another human
being, it would hurt me when you brought another woman there? That
it felt like a betrayal. Considering you knew it was one of
my
hard
limits?”

He sneered at her. “You obviously
think this is one of those damn romance books you read. As the Dom,
everything in the relationship was mine including you. It was what
you agreed to when you accepted my collar and signed the contract.
So if I wanted to give you to another or sleep with another
submissive, it was within my rights. We never agreed to exclusivity
on my part.”

Her lips thinned at the blatant
reminder of her own stupidity; once upon a time she had given
herself to him, even signed a contract because she’d wanted the man
in front of her to own her completely. “Get out. This is my home
and I don’t want you here. What power you had over me evaporated
the day you shredded our contract and took my collar. I’m through
quibbling about whether or not the exclusivity clause applied to
you.” She dropped her bag onto the coffee table. “Be gone when I
come back out, or a couple of Chicago’s finest will be escorting
you off the premises.” She locked eyes with him. “And I don’t ever
want to set eyes on you again.”

He seemed to measure her seriousness,
before sighing. “This isn’t over, Rena. But I’ll leave since you
don’t seem to be in the right frame of mind to discuss this
logically.” He checked his watch. “Besides I have an appointment
with the board in a little bit, but don’t for a moment think this
is done. What we had is too good to just throw away…I’ll be back.”
He set down the mahogany box on her table. “Just think about it.”
Then he was gone, leaving her staring after him in
shock.

“The nerve of the lying rat bastard!”
Picking up the box, she hurled into the trash. There wasn’t a
prayer in a frozen hell she would ever go back to him.

* * * *

“Jude is probably with Ms. Olivia in
her office.” Carlos, the bouncer/doorman, told Rena after she
cleared the security checkpoint at the entrance. Picking up her
wallet, keys and watch from the tote, she shoved them back into her
purse, not bothering to put the watch back on.

“Thanks, Carlos. How’s life been
treating you?”

The Hispanic man grinned from ear to
ear. “Great. Mistress has been home for the past two weeks and has
treated me real nice. I missed her when she was up in Minnesota
working on her residency at the Mayo Clinic.”

Rena winced. The other sub was
definitely a kindred soul. She remembered more than once during her
relationship with Louis, when the man was out of town on business
for an extended period, how lonely she’d been. “Yuck, I remember
those days, but I can understand why she doesn’t want to make the
five hour drive home from Rochester.”

Carlos smiled. “And she knows I’d
paddle her ass for driving that distance after a long grueling
shift.”

“Are you sure you’re the
submissive?”

He outright laughed at her. “Of course
I’m sure. But being submissive doesn’t stop me from wanting to
protect my Mistress, even if it’s from herself.”

“Hmmm, I think someone’s picked up
Jude’s bad habits.” Rena mused.

“And what bad habits would that be,
Rena?” Jude stepped across the threshold, wearing nothing but a
pair of dark leather shorts. He was dressed for play, not in the
normal business clothing she was used to seeing him in.

She gave him a grin. “Your obsessive
need to keep Olivia safe until she’s ready to box your
ears.”

His neck flushed. “Well, we have an
agreement. She puts up with my protective ass as long as there’s a
true need.” He guided her into the inner sanctum of the club. The
sounds of leather striking flesh and greedy moans and pleas hit her
eager ears.

“Ah it’s leather club night
again, I see,” Rena commented, referring to the specific group of
Doms who frequented
Olivia’s
to not only hone but show off their whipping
skills. “So is your partner here tonight?” She knew Jackson had a
membership and had a love of whips to go along with his fetish for
wooden paddles.

Jude shook his head. “No, he hasn’t
been to the club in several weeks. The last time was at my
collaring ceremony with Micah. Between being sick and chasing your
butt all over town, he’s been too busy or too worn out to
play.”