Choosing the Right Man (NICE GIRL TO LOVE Book Three) (12 page)

“But don’t you want kids? A family you could come home to and have all those classic American meals with?” Though he never said it aloud, she knew that was a part of why he gravitated toward those meals as his favorites—because it was the furthest thing from what he’d had growing up, all of it.

“Honey, you and I both know that parenthood isn’t dictated by birth, or sometimes even by family. A child doesn’t have to bear my gene for me to want to be his or her father.” He slid a hand over hers. “I’ll do everything in my power to be even half as strong as you. We can try for a child as many times as you’re willing. But if it’s not in the cards, or even if it is, there are a lot of great kids out there who need parents that will love them. No matter what, you’re going to make an incredible mom to some very lucky kids in the future.” Twining their fingers together, he added in a voice rough with emotion, “And if you choose me to be the one right there beside you throughout it all, I’ll consider myself among the lucky ones as well.”

She fell back into his arms again. “It all sounds so perfect,” she said softly.

“You bitch!”

Gasping, Abby spun around and saw Skylar standing not ten feet away, confused and hurt, eyes red with angry tears.

Connor shot off the couch and went over to her. “Skylar, did you walk over here from Becky’s? Does your father even know you’re here?”

She swung her betrayed gaze over to him, and held the keys in her hand like a weapon. “Don’t pretend like you care about my dad! You’re here stealing Abby away from him behind his back.”

Abby approached her slowly. “Sweetie, that’s not what’s happening here.”

“No?” she shot back bitterly. “So you’re not here dreaming up a new family when dad and I have been doing everything we can to show you how much we want you to be a part of ours?” She backed up, eyeing them like a caged animal. “Becky’s sister drove me back home because I forgot my overnight bag and I saw him. He was outside drunk and sad and breaking beer bottles in the orchid shade house
we built for you
. Because we love you. But here you are with Uncle Connor, cheating on my dad and dreaming up a new kid.”

Her voice broke and Abby felt her heart breaking as well.

“Why don’t you want us, Abby? Aren’t we good enough for you? I thought you loved my dad…” A shattered sob racked her tiny frame. “I thought you loved me.”

“Skylar, of course I do. I love both you and your father so much.”

“Liar!”
Skylar was shaking uncontrollably now and Abby was on the verge of losing it. Something wasn’t right.

“You’re a lying bitch who just wants Uncle Connor now. You don’t want us! You don’t want to be my mom! I hate you! I wish you’d never butted into our lives!”

Before they could stop her, she turned and ran off down the driveway.

S
HE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND
.

Skylar had ducked into a neighbor’s yard and disappeared into the night. Abby and Connor had scoured the neighborhood first by foot and then by car. They’d called Becky’s parents and when they found she hadn’t returned there either, they’d picked up Brian and immediately went to all of the girls’ favorite hangout spots.

Abby was a wreck.

After four hours of searching, the police regrouped everyone who’d joined the search party and advised them to check their phone messages and their homes once again. Abby refused to stop looking. She tossed Connor her house keys and took a flashlight out to go search every nook and cranny of the houses in the area, waking up every single neighbor in a one-mile radius.

She’d just begun pounding on the door of a neighbor she hadn’t yet spoken to personally when she heard Connor’s Dodge Charger come rumbling down and screeching to a stop in the driveway beside her.

“We found her, sweetheart,” he left the car running and sprinted toward her. “She was curled up—safe and sound asleep—in your guestroom.”

Abby dropped to her knees on the graveled ground and simply broke down, crying gibberish and clenching the gravel so hard her hands bled.

When Connor could finally get her to stand, he drove her straight back to her house.

Only, Becky’s parents had picked up Skylar and taken her and Brian back home before Abby got a chance to see her. To see for herself that she was okay.

Once inside her home, she ran straight to the guestroom and ran her hand over the comforter.

“Was she still upset when you found her?”

Connor shook his head. “I didn’t think I was the first one she’d want to see so I waited in the living room and Brian was the one who woke her up.”

She nodded and dropped onto the ground at the foot of the bed.

He asked quietly, “Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?”

Abby no longer knew what she wanted. No longer
cared
what she wanted. Skylar had been hurt beyond measure tonight and Abby had only herself to blame. “I think you should go, Connor.”

“None of this was your fault, sweetheart.”

She turned away from the words of comfort.

She didn’t deserve them.

All night, Abby sat on the guestroom bed and stared at the clock, listening to the ticking to make sure her own heart was still beating.

At five o’clock sharp, the dam in her heart burst, and galvanized her to action.

She pulled into Brian’s driveway minutes later, reckless speed a definite factor.

Brian opened the door before she could knock and dragged her into the hug they both needed.

“Brian, this was all my fault.”

“No, honey. Irrational, compulsive behavior like this is a classic pre-symptom of Juvenile Huntington’s. I’ve already talked to her doctors and we’ll be starting the process of genetic testing as soon as she’s gone through some therapy.”

“No!” Abby backed away from Brian. “
No.
It’s not a symptom. It’s me. It’s me, Brian. She can’t—” Gasping for air, suddenly her lungs felt too small, the world too big. “She doesn’t have JHD. This isn’t a symptom. This is my fault. She just hates me is all. My fault. Just my fault.”

The whole world shifted on its axis and Abby found herself on the ground, the tiled floor ice cold against her cheek.

“Please… Please…”

Brian dropped to the floor beside her and pulled her into his lap, holding her until the words stopped spilling from her lips, until her breathing calmed and the tremors ceased. “Abby, none of this is your fault. And believe me, if I could wish it away, I would too. But we can’t ignore it anymore, we all have to face the reality that Skylar may have JHD.”

Shards of pain burst through her.

“We won’t know for sure for a while. And there are still a lot of variations to how they may present, but if Skylar does have JHD, we’ll do everything we can to help her. Give her the best possible life.”

The best possible life for Skylar.

Pulling herself up out of his lap numbly, she stood, a decision forming in her heart. “Can you show me the orchid house?”

Brian blinked, startled.

“Skylar told me about it. Could I see it?”

Brian held out his hand and led her out to the backyard. “There’s some broken glass out there so be careful.”

Abby felt like she’d entered the magical fairy kingdom she’d had as a child. Only this one was bigger, brighter, and infinitely more special.

“Brian, it’s beautiful.” Redwood slats and richly colored orchids filled her field of vision. She looked back at him. “I can’t believe you built all this for me.” She stepped into the gazebo and saw the broken beer bottle shards and took in the sharp scent of hops.
Oh, Brian
.
You’re wrong. This is all my fault.
In her mind, she could only imagine what Skylar had seen last night.

“Come out of there, Abby. Let me clean it out first. I don’t want you to see it like this.”

Abby took his hand and followed him as he navigated her around the puddles of broken glass littered around the yard.

There were so many.

Once back inside, Abby took in a deep breath and tried to pull herself together. Already her brain was planning out the next decade of her life. “Let me know when Skylar starts therapy. I’m not sure what my schedule is going to be but I’ll take her as much as I can.” She dragged in a stuttered breath. “I haven’t read up a whole lot about the genetic testing process but I will. And I’ll start looking into specialty tutoring as well because I know that’s going to become an issue soon. When we—”

Brian’s hands closed around hers. “No, sweetheart. Not we. Me.
You
need to go to California and take one of those professor positions. You can’t stay here just for us. Especially not now.”

“What do you mean ‘especially not now?’ I’m not going anywhere. End of discussion.”

A hard light entered his eyes. “So you’ve made your decision then is that it? Can you stand there and tell me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

That was easy. “Yes.”

He flinched as if he’d been struck.

“Then can you also look me in the eye and tell me that you’re in love with me and not Connor?”

This time, it was Abby who flinched.

He let out a quiet, pained sigh. “Abby, I love you so much. And a part of me wants to let you do this. Because I meant what I said—I’ve dreamed up a lifetime of ways to love you, a lifetime of ways to make you happy.” He cupped her cheek gently. “But I know you, sweetie. Even though you’ll make the best of it, deep down, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t allow yourself to be with the one you really want.” Another sigh, but this one more resigned, resolute. But no less sad. “We both know that man isn’t me. You and I have a deep history together but Connor...he’s your future.”

That sounded like goodbye. “Brian, I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered, feeling everything she’s known for more than a third of her life seemingly dissolving right in front of her.

“Honey, you won’t ever lose me. I promise you that. Skylar and I, we will always be a part of your life, just like you’ll always be a part of ours.”

She looked back out into the backyard, at the orchid gazebo this wonderful man had built for her. To build a life with her. “But what if I stay?”

Brian shook his head softly. “Then you’d be settling for being my wife. Just so you could be Skylar’s mom.”

Her gaze shot back over to meet his. “Being with you would never be
settling
,” she argued firmly. “I love you, Brian.” But even as she said the words, she knew she could never love him the way that she loved Connor, and she knew also that what he’d said was the absolute truth—there weren’t many lengths she wouldn’t go to for Skylar. Was he right about all this? Was that why her heart and mind couldn’t agree on a decision?

“Connor told me about your son, Abby.”

A red hot blade of betrayal sliced her open in two. “He had
no right
—”

“Sweetheart, we’ve been best friends for over thirteen years. While I’d hoped it wasn’t the case, I’ve always suspected. I’ve heard your nightmares. And I’ve seen the way you clutch your womb without even realizing it...especially in the month of May.” He slid his hand over hers now and she looked down to see that she was doing it right now. “Tonight, while you were searching for Skylar, you kept saying over and over again to yourself that you couldn’t lose another one, that you wouldn’t survive if you lost another one.”

She didn’t remember any of that. But it was the cold, honest truth. The thought of losing Skylar in any way...terrified her.

“Abby?”
a small voice called out from behind them.

They both spun around and saw Skylar, stricken, staring at Abby as if she’d never seen her before in her life.

“Sky-bug, you should be in bed. You’ve had a long night.”

Skylar ignored Brian and shuffled forward, tears running down her cheeks. “I didn’t mean it, Abby. I don’t hate you.”

Abby’s legs almost gave out. Hearing Skylar say the three pain-shredded words back at Connor’s house had blown a gaping hole in her chest. “It’s okay if you do, kiddo,” she managed, meaning it even as she said it, “I’d hate me too right about now.”

“I swear I don’t. It’s just... You’ve been the only mom I’ve had my whole life, Abby. When I heard you and Uncle Connor talking about a new family—”

“Skylar, what you heard wasn’t the full story.”

“I know that now.” Skylar nodded in that way she did sometimes whenever life forced her to grow up faster than she needed to, faster than it had any right to expect her to. “You would’ve been as great a mom to him as you’ve been to me,” she said softly, looking up with eyes brimming with more grief than Abby had ever seen in them.

And just like that, she felt the last paper-thin dam holding back the rest of her emotions crumble.