Chosen (13 page)

Brielle continued, her two besties hanging off of every word. “Well, I checked my messages. I mean, I wasn't going to
IM
him. I thought I heard my phone ping from a text, so I looked over to check and an IM popped up on my computer.” Brielle looked at both of us, one at a time, I imagined to gauge our reactions. “It was . . . from Will,” she clarified.

“We got that!” Ana exclaimed.

“What did it say?” I asked.

Brielle paused, like she was gearing up for something big. “He said ‘hey, Bri.'” She squealed. “He called me Bri! Like, only you guys do that and he just
did
. I said hi and I asked him what he was doing today.”

Ana, eyes wide, looked at me and we smiled at each other. Brielle was so giddy and cute about all of this.

“He said he was skateboarding with his friends. Then he asked what I was doing. I told him I had a riding lesson, then I was hanging out with you guys.”

“It's a good sign that you both asked each other questions,” I said. “It means he's interested in you. No doubt. Becca had told me that exact same thing when I first started IMing with Taylor.”

“Well, you
might
just be right about that, LT,” Brielle said. “Because he asked me to the dance!”

“What?!”
Ana and I said at the same time. Our horses flicked their ears back at the noise we made.

“Brielle! This is huge!” I said.

Ana reached over and high-fived Brielle. “I'm so happy for you! We need to celebrate immediately.”

“I've got to start looking for dresses and accessories, like, now,” Brielle said, still smiling in a glowing-y way. “I'm going to start looking online right after this. Then I'll beg my mom to take me to the mall so I can try on options in case I order something from a Web site and it doesn't fit. I mean, it obviously has to be perfect.”

“Don't worry—you're the best dress shopper I know,” Ana said. “You've dragged me to the mall for, oh, I don't know, about twelve dozen shopping trips.”

“We'll help you pick out
the
one,” I said. “But Brielle, you're totally gorgeous no matter what you wear.”

“Thanks, girls,” Brielle said, the pink fading back to Bri's natural pale complexion, with a lingering happy glow.

“What would I do without you both by my side? Laur-Bell and her
killer
fashion sense and my little Ana-Banana to stay by our sides during every shopping extravaganza.
And
,” she added, when Ana opened her mouth to speak, “to make sure my makeup is as stylish as a girl on a magazine cover.”

Ana smiled, obviously flattered. “No artist would desert her bestie in her time of need—or, in this case, in need for makeup.”

We all giggled and got the squeals and leftover questions out of our systems until the trees cleared and the dirt changed to grass.

This was one of my favorite parts of the trail because now, we had enough room to canter across the field. On the other side was the creek. I couldn't wait to take off my boots and cool my sweaty feet. If I was hot, I knew Cricket was too. The mare loved water—I had to pay attention to her every second we were wading in the creek. Once, she'd tried to lay down and roll. Bad girl.

“Let's canter,” I said to my closest friends.

With collective nods as our cue, we all urged our horses into a canter. They were never competitive with each other—none of them tried to race ahead of the other. Cricket's dark mane blew in the wind, tickling my hand. I loved riding bareback.

For so long, I'd only concentrated on competing. I'd always loved horses, but not the way I did now. I paid attention to everything about Cricket, from the way she wrinkled her muzzle at smells she didn't like to the way she seemed to prance when she knew she'd done a good job at something. Riding without a saddle made me feel like part of my horse, making me that much more aware that a one-thousand-pound animal was in my hands and connected to me in the most amazing way.

Cricket took more strides than Breeze and Zane because she was smaller, but she had no problem keeping up. When her hooves struck the ground, the sound pounded in my ears. I barely moved on her back. We were completely in sync after so many lessons from Kim. Especially after our dressage practices.

Sunlight, now unfiltered from the lack of trees, hit the blades of grass, turning each blade into an emerald color. I took a deep breath of the late spring fresh air and enjoyed the way the sun warmed my face without making me feel overheated. After a few more strides, I began to pull up Cricket. Beside me, Ana and Brielle did the same.

The horses tossed their heads almost in unison, and the three of us laughed.

“We weren't the only ones who enjoyed that ride,” Ana
said, patting Breeze. The strawberry roan tugged on the reins, probably sensing that the creek was near. The horses loved to play in the water as much as we did.

All three of them walked down the gentle embankment that leveled off to sandy dirt. We stayed atop our horses and tossed our boots and socks aside, then rolled up our breeches.

“Going in!” I called out, giving Cricket free rein to walk in wherever she wanted. Without hesitating, the mare stepped into the shallow part of the creek. She easily navigated around a few large rocks and struck her right foreleg against the water, sending it spraying around us.

I giggled. The cool water drops that hit my feet and legs felt good. Brielle and Ana had let Zane and Breeze into the creek. Their horses weren't timid in the water, either. Ana let Breeze stretch her neck to the water.

“Only a tiny sip for you, missy,” Ana said to Breeze.

“Same for Cricket,” I said. “She got colic once last year. It was so scary to go into the stall and see her trying to kick her stomach. Kim and I took turns walking Cricket for hours until her stomach felt better.”

I'd hated seeing Cricket with an upset stomach.

Cricket and I waded deeper, until the water lapped at her belly. She snorted and craned her neck for a drink,
then craned her neck to look at me. Water droplets on her chin hair made me laugh.

“Look, guys.” I turned her toward Brielle and Ana.

“Aww!” Ana said. “She's so cute.” Ana let go of Breeze's knotted reins, resting them on the mare's neck. She leaned back, resting a hand on the mare's croup. “Do you wish she was yours?”

I tilted my head. “Where did that come from?”

“Just wondering,” Ana replied, shrugging. “We all ride school horses. But what if you get into Canterwood?”

I thought I saw sadness on Ana's face, but it was gone before I could be sure.

“I hadn't really thought about it,” I said. “But as far as Canterwood goes, you guys know as well as I do that it's not an issue anymore. Not after Kim told the head coach about the, um, you know. Besides, the more I think about it, the happier I am that she
did
tell. About the accident, I mean. Because the more I consider it, the less I want to leave.”

I smiled at my friends, but they exchanged an uneasy look.

“What?” I asked. “Did I miss something?”

“No!” They both said at once.

I raised an eyebrow.

“It's just . . . ever since you first got here,” Brielle said, “Canterwood was something you always dreamed about.”

I looked at Ana, watching to see what she would say.

She shrugged. “We love you, Lauren, you know we do. And if it was just the three of us—no other factors—we'd keep you here with us forever.”

I smiled. I could count on Ana, she always—

“But,” Ana continued, “there are
so
many other factors. Like riding. And Canterwood.”

I paused, weighing my words carefully. “I get it, you guys,” I said. “You're right. I always talked about getting into Canterwood.”

“Dreamed about,” Brielle cut in.

“True,” I agreed. Beneath me, Cricket was still, as if she knew our conversation was important. “I dreamed about getting into Canterwood. I always wanted it. In fact, it's one of the reasons my family moved here. As you know, my parents told me that Sasha Silver started out at Briar Creek—that's the whole reason I wanted to be here. But things are different now.”

Ana glanced at Brielle before speaking. “But,” she said, “not much
has
changed. I mean, your accident—”

Brielle shot Ana a look that said
be careful!

“I'm sorry,” Ana continued. “But it's true! You wanted
to go to Canterwood long after . . . after
that
. So what else changed?”

For a second it was hard not to feel really hurt. I wanted to whirl Cricket back toward the stable. I knew I was just feeling overwhelmed by the conversation. After all, we were revisiting all of my least favorite topics to discuss these days: my accident, Canterwood, leaving all of my favorite people behind. And now, suddenly it felt like two of my favorite people were asking me to leave. Or, at least, asking an awful lot of questions about why I wasn't leaving . . . almost as if they
wanted
me to leave. I focused my gaze on Cricket for a while before I spoke. I never cried in front of anyone but my family, and I wasn't about to let that change now.

I cleared my throat, smiled, and lifted my head to make eye contact with my friends. “Okay,” I said evenly. “If I felt like Canterwood was still an option, you both know me better than to think I'd turn it down”—I snapped my fingers—“just like that.”

“You wouldn't?” Brielle asked.

“Of course not!” I said.

“I
told
you,” Ana said to Bri, rolling her eyes. She looked at me, shaking her head. “I told Bri you wouldn't turn it down, but she didn't believe me! She was like, ‘You don't know what it's like, Ana.'”

“Ana!” Bri said between her teeth.

Ana ignored her and kept talking. “She was all, ‘It can be impossible to come back from getting thrown from a horse like that.' She even tried to convince me that it was hard for you to ever trust Cricket and . . . what? Why is everyone looking at me like that?”

I could feel my heartbeat rising, rising, rising so fast that it was making the collar of my shirt move with its furious, echoing beat. I realized my mouth was open in shock and I clamped it shut. My face burned—I knew it was blotchy and red.

Brielle spoke first. “Lauren, please don't be mad. It sounds awful out of context. I was so worried about you after you found out what Kim told the Canterwood coach, and you're so talented—more talented than any rider I've seen at Briar Creek. And I was so afraid you would give up. You've been through a lot—no, just please let me finish—and I was so nervous that this would be the last straw and—”

“Bri!” I finally got her to stop. I wasn't sure how long I'd been shouting her name, but it was so quiet when she'd stopped talking; even the horses seemed to have been silenced by my outburst. Not even a bird twittered.

“Bri,” I continued. “I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at anyone.”

Bri started to open her mouth, then closed it. She did that a couple of times before finally saying, “You're not?”

“No,” I laughed a little, my voice a bit hoarse from my mouth being open so long. “Of course not. You're right—it was hard to come back from that accident.
So
hard that I still have trouble trusting myself, let alone my horse.”

Bri and Ana visibly relaxed. So did our horses.”

“How could I be mad at my two besties for worrying about me? You guys are the best.”

Brielle's eyes filled with tears. “Laur, I'm so relieved I—”

“Just one thing,” I interrupted, holding up my hand.

“Anything,” Ana squeaked so loud it was hard not to laugh.

“I need you guys to know that Canterwood has nothing to do with that stuff. Kim told them something that made it nearly impossible—that's
all
. So I'm looking on the bright side. I get to stay at a stable I love, with my family, my boyfriend,
and
my besties. That's all.”

“That's all?” Brielle asked, edging Zane closer.

“Promise,” I said, holding out my pinkie.

We all moved our horses closer together and linked pinkies, dissolving into giggles.

“What we said came out wrong,” Brielle said. She
walked Zane into deeper water. “We would miss you so much if you went away. But I want you to—Canterwood's perfect for you, Laur. I never meant to make you feel bad. I just want you to consider it a possibility. Don't count Canterwood out just yet, that's all I ask. You're a strong candidate. I think it's still a real possibility you get in.”

I knew she meant it. There wasn't an ounce of meanness in Bri.

“Okay,” I said. “But if by some miracle I got it, it wouldn't be easy. I'd wish I could be in two places at once.”

Ana raised a finger in the air. “I'll get right on that.”

Her comment made us all smile, and the tension that had existed flowed down the creek along with the water.

I was ready for fun and to leave that heavy convo behind. Cricket, sensing my discomfort, took a step into deeper water. The fresh water hit my ankles, and it felt so good on my feet, which were terribly sore from my boots. And they were about to become even more sore soon. Last year I'd been a big-time runner. Never in competition, just for exercise around my neighborhood. I'd taken a break for a few months after my left knee had started to hurt, but it was healed now. I was ready to step into my Nikes and pound the pavement. Running was something I needed now more than ever. Aside from riding, it was my favorite
way to clear my head. And obviously, I'd been away from it for too long.