Chosen (17 page)

Sincerely,

Headmistress Drake

I read the words over and over until they melted together.

“No! No way! Omigod—it's not, it's—omigod!” I screamed, clutching the letter as I jumped up.

I left the rest of the mail on the porch and turned toward the door.

I had to tell Mom and Dad! And—oh, Becca!

After minutes of shock it hit me all at once at full force—I'd been chosen.

“MOM, DAD!” I CALLED WHEN I GOT INSIDE.

“Mom!”

“Lauren, what's wrong?” Mom said, hurrying from her office.

Dad appeared right behind her, his eyes wide. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I got it! I got it!” I screamed, probably rattling the windows in the house.

“Got what? Lauren!” Mom reached for my hand that was waving the envelope in the air. She plucked it from my hand, saw the letter, and scanned it speed-reader-lawyer style.

“Oh, Lauren!” Mom dropped the letter on the foyer table and ran over to grab me and wrap me up in a hug.

“I'm
in
! I squealed.” I'm going to Canterwood!”

“I knew it!” Dad swooped me off the ground and twirled me around like I was five again. “I'm so proud of my little Laur-Bell. Oh, honey. You did it! You're in!”

I was laughing—and dizzy—when he set me down.

“Lauren, come into the kitchen,” Mom said. “Let me make you some lemonade. You must be thirsty from all that screaming.”

I laughed. “Thanks, Mom. There's so much to do. Omigosh—I have to tell people. Taylor, maybe even Ana and Brielle. . . . Can I go call all of my friends after?”

“Of course you can,” Mom said. “I'm going to call Grandma and Grandpa. They'll be so happy for you.”

I took a sip of my mother's fresh-squeezed lemonade, the glass rimmed with sugar.

“Yum, Mom. Thank you,” I said.

“You're welcome,” Mom said. “And think about where you want to go for dinner tonight—it's
your
choice.”

I got up from the table, grinning, and with my lemonade in hand took the stairs two at a time to my room. I was bummed that Becca wasn't home—she was out with her boyfriend. But there was no way I'd tell her via text; I'd wait until she got home.

I opened BBM and scrolled to my group chat with Brielle and Ana.

Lauren:

Can u guys talk?

The wait, even though it was only seconds, felt excruciating. After our last conversation, I didn't know
how
this one would go, but I had to tell them. I just had to.

Brielle:

Laur?! Totally! Call me!

Ana:

Me too!

Lauren:

Okay—calling u guys now
.

I got them on conference call. It was better just to get it over with.
Tell them right away
, I told myself.

“So what's going on?” Brielle asked. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Ana said. “You scared me—I thought something bad happened.”

“Sorry. I mean, it's not bad news. Not even close. Guys, I . . . ”

I didn't know how to tell them. I froze. Was I supposed to sound elated that I was going to Canterwood, which meant I was leaving them
and
Yates, especially after the weirdness that had passed between us at practice? Or was I supposed to sound excited but a little sad?

Just be honest and say how you feel,
I decided.
They have been your best friends for a year and a half. They're going to be happy if you are, no matter what happened at practice
. “Laur?” Bri and Ana said at the same time.

“I . . . I got my letter from Canterwood just a few minutes ago.”

There was silence on the other lines.

Just say it
.

“I got in.”

“LAUREN!” Brielle and Ana screamed into the phone at the same time.

Giggling, I held it away from my ear while they shrieked. Relief at their reactions made my palms stop sweating.

“I totally knew it!” Ana said. “You were in from the second you applied.”

“
So
in,” Brielle added. “You're going to
Canterwood
! To boarding school!”

I tried not to read into her “boarding school” comment. Canterwood
was
a boarding school, after all.

“I know.” I shifted in my window nook. “I can't believe it. I'd been away from home a lot back when I was on the show circuit. But . . . this is permanent. I'll only be coming back home for holidays and breaks.”

The thought made my heart beat a little faster. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd see Ana and Brielle over breaks or if they'd be attached to Hannah.

“But there
are
tons of holidays,” Ana put in. “And you won't be
too
far away. On some of
our
days off, you know Brielle and I are totally going to crash your dorm room and visit.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

“Of course,” Brielle said. She sounded earnest. “This is your shot, Lauren. We know you can't pass it up. We're going to IM and Skype every day. You'll see more of us from Canterwood than you do here.”

“Thanks, guys. That's really good to hear,” I said. “It was a little hard to tell you. I wasn't sure how you'd feel.
But
. We are besties. Nothing dumb like distance is going to change what we shared in the past.”

“It
is
sad,” Ana said. “We'll miss you, obviously. But it would have been way more sad for all of us if you hadn't gotten in. We know you're going to do great, Laur.”

“Thanks,” I said, taken aback by Ana's sudden maturity.

“This is a huge deal. Celebration huge,” Brielle said. “So I say we have a giant sleepover weekend this summer.”

“Brielle,” Ana said. “is totally right. You
better
free up your time.”

I laughed. “I think I can squeeze you guys in. Maybe.”

After we hung up and I put my phone down, I hugged my knees to my chest. I couldn't stop the slow smile that spread across my face.

I'm going to Canterwood
.

I stared out the window at the lawn. This time next year, I wouldn't be sitting here. I'd be looking out another window, hours away, at a place I'd only seen in a virtual tour online.

Then reality hit me: Going to Canterwood meant everything was going to change.

Everything.

I was leaving Yates—a school I loved. Where up until I'd applied to Canterwood I'd fit in spectacularly well. Becca, Mom, and Dad would go on with their daily routine that I knew by heart, except I wouldn't be here. Charlotte, who was coming home from college next week, would be home all summer and then we'd
both
be leaving in the fall. I forced myself to take a breath and a gulp of lemonade. My cheeks were suddenly burning.

You're not leaving right this second
I told myself.
You'll be here all summer and a few weeks of fall
.

There was plenty of time to prepare and do the thing that always made me feel better—make lists of things I
needed to do. Lists always calmed me. I had them all over my room—on my whiteboard, my computer, and on sticky notes on my door. Dad teased me that one day I was going to write “make a list” on one of my already existing lists.

The sun was starting to sink a little, an orange and yellow ball that was already half-hidden behind the trees in our backyard.

I picked up my phone and lemonade and slid my feet into white flip-flops. I walked downstairs and out the back door, bypassing the pool and going deeper into the backyard, to the hammock. It was my secret spot that I went to whenever I wanted to get out of the house and make private phone calls.

I loved the sun. Summer was my favorite season. I loved everything about it—especially fashion. Flip-flops, skirts, tank tops, and scented body sprays that smelled like summer fruits—grapefruit, sugar-peach, plum passion.

I climbed into the hammock and set my lemonade down on the plastic outdoor table. I stretched out, my fingers hovering over the speed-dial button for Taylor. I had to get it over with. I knew he'd be happy for me, but I wanted to tell him that this was something I wanted to talk about in person. He was my boyfriend. My decision to go to Canterwood would change everything for us.

Before I could sit there any longer, I pressed the three button.

“Hey,” Taylor said.

“Hi.” I heard papers shuffling in the background. “Are you busy?”

“For you,” Taylor said. “Never too busy. I was just tossing a bunch of stuff from school that I didn't need. I can't believe tomorrow's really our last day. Can you?”

“No! This year went by so fast. We were the little kid sixth-graders and now we're almost seventh-graders.”

“I know. I'm so glad classes are over. Summer break is going to be awesome. We can go out whenever we want. I already asked my parents about getting my curfew extended so I don't have to be home before dark.” Taylor laughed.

“No kidding. We've got months to do whatever we want. All I want to do
is
hang out with you, maybe see Brielle and Ana—try that out again and see how it goes—and ride. No staying up until one to finish a paper for history, or spending all weekend doing a science project.”

“As if we're going to need to know the parts of a cell when we graduate,” Taylor said. I couldn't see him, but I knew him well enough to know he was rolling his eyes.

“Right,” I said, shaking my head. “Or memorizing
lines from ancient poems that I can't even understand. I admit that I like
some
poetry, but the stuff we read in my English class this year? We spent six weeks reading these crazy poems that you had to google to even understand.”

I was stalling. I admit it.

“My brain's going to explode if we talk about school for another second,” Taylor said. “Change the subject. Please!”

“Well, actually I called because I have something to tell you.”

“What's up?”

All of Taylor's attention was on me. That was one of the things I loved about him—he was a great listener.

“I wanted to tell you in person, but I couldn't wait until school tomorrow. So . . . I got a letter from Canterwood today.”

“Lauren. You've been waiting for that forever! What did it say?”

“I can't believe it, but—” I paused, nervous. “I got in, Taylor.”

“I knew it! I wish I was there to kiss you right now. I'm so proud of you, Lauren!”

He
was
proud, too. I could tell it wasn't just words. I knew he'd be happy for me—it had been my own nerves
that had gotten in the way of thinking he'd be anything but happy for me.

“I can't wait to see you at the dance tomorrow night,” Taylor said. “There's so much we need to talk about and celebrate.”

With everything that had been going on, I'd honestly forgotten about the dance. I didn't even have a dress!

“I'm excited, too. And I definitely want to talk, Taylor. I know this doesn't just affect me, so please don't think that I'm not thinking about that or ignoring the fact that you're involved, too.”

“I never thought that, Laur-Bell. We're going to sit down and figure this out together—however we have to do it. Don't worry.”

“Okay.”

I heard someone calling Taylor in the background.

“I've got to go,” he said. “Mom needs me to help unload groceries.”

“I'll BBM you later,” I said.

“And Lauren? Congratulations. I'm really, really proud of you.”

We hung up and I put the phone on my chest. I stayed in the hammock until dusk. It was
très parfait
out here.

Taylor's words rolled around in my head, especially “however we have to do it.” The backyard started to glow with blinking fireflies while I tried to dissect what he'd meant. I was sure he meant figure out how our long-distance relationship would work.

But what if he wanted to break up?

I suddenly felt heavy, like the hammock would break under my weight. I hadn't even had time to think that far ahead—about my future with Taylor. I was so certain I wouldn't get in. I knew
I
wanted to stay together, but he had to want that too. Not that he had given me any indication that he didn't want to. I was sure I'd read too much into what he'd said.

Stop
.