Chris Powell's Choose More, Lose More for Life (7 page)

Sometimes, even when we make small, attainable promises, or set small, attainable goals, we don’t manage to keep them. What now? Are we destined to fail? Not at all. We only fail when we lose belief… give up… stop trying.

Look, nobody’s perfect. We’re all human, and life happens. We’re all going to fall sometimes. In fact, we’re going to fall many, many times in our lives! If you remember this—if you
expect to fall
once in a while—you won’t be surprised when you do. You’ll be prepared. I’m going to prepare you to fall without failing. See, there are three simple steps to getting back on your feet after you fall. Simple, but incredibly powerful.

If you’re prepared with the knowledge of these three steps and are willing to follow them, you’ll always be able to keep your falls from turning into failures. Take these steps whenever you stumble during your journey to transformation, and you
will
reach your goals! You’ll be able to get back up after you fall if you confess, reassess, and recommit.

The very first thing you need to do to recover from a fall is to confess. Get that emotional weight off your chest. Walk right over to a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and
confess to yourself
that you broke a promise you made to yourself or fell short of a goal. Don’t keep any of the facts or feelings in. Let it all out! After you confess to yourself,
confess to somebody else
. Saying it out loud, to another person, makes your confession that much more powerful. Spell out the gory details, no matter how disgusting or embarrassing you think they are. Confession is one of the mightiest tools of transformation.

But I’ll be honest with you: This is without a doubt the most difficult
aspect of transformation. It sounds terrifying because you don’t want to look bad in front of anybody else and risk scaring them off. Trust me, you won’t. But you need to free yourself from shame and regret. It takes courage, authenticity, and determination. When you confess, to yourself and to another person, you take back
control of your life
. What you lost when you fell comes back to you.

Once you own up to your mistakes, reassess the promises that you made to yourself. Why did you break them? Maybe something came up in your life that you used as an excuse to drop the ball. Maybe there was an unexpected life event and you spent the day stranded in an airport or emergency room. When you reassess a promise you broke for reasons like these, you can realistically expect to get right back on track tomorrow.

But maybe you bit off more than you could chew and set your goals too high. Maybe you’re a single working mom with three kids who set herself the impractical goal to do two hours of cardio every day. Wow. That’s one extreme promise! You’ll definitely fall, so you need to reassess your expectations.

To keep falling from turning into failing, ask yourself sincerely if your vision is
realistic and attainable
. Is it really possible to reach those goals you set? Or do you need to reduce the weight of your commitment by aiming for more attainable targets? Remember, the carb-cycle program is totally adaptable to your needs and capabilities. If you
reassess and revise your goals
, you’ll know that you can reach them, and you
will
reach them, and you’ll believe in yourself again.

Are your goals SMART? If they meet the SMART criteria, you’re much more likely to reach them. Here are a few examples of SMART and not-so-SMART goals:

Reassessing your transformation vision clarifies what’s possible for you
right now
. You know what you can honestly promise yourself and what goals are SMART for you. You know that you can follow through when you take them on, and you believe in yourself again. You’re not afraid of falling—you accept that you will—because you know you can get back up. Self-confidence empowers you to recommit to your weight-loss journey.

Toughen your commitment by
declaring your promises and goals
. Say them out loud. Write them down. Announce them to people that you love
and trust. There’s no more room for silent promises or ridiculous goals—the kind you can hide behind. Declaring your commitment makes it rock-solid. Now you can rev up your determination and get back on track with your transformation, knowing that in the future you will fall again, but not fail. Stride forward boldly!

You’ve heard the expression,“No man [or woman!] is an island.” Let me translate that: Humans need one another. We find strength in numbers, so we do everything together, as a group. That means you’re not programmed or equipped to make your weight-loss journey alone. The support and encouragement of others help you believe in yourself and keep your promises to yourself. Your connections with other people create a safety net that lets you fall without failing. The
power
of your tribe
empowers
you: It’s the wind at your back as you make your voyage to health and happiness!

It’s been said that people become like their friends, loved ones, and associates (and even their pets!). If you want to be healthy, you should hang out with healthy people and absorb their energy. If you want to be happy, you should surround yourself with happy people. Interacting with those who are already where you want to be, learning from them and adopting their vision makes it easier to become who you want to be.

Group energy gives you a leg up on transformation in three big ways:

The first thing you must do after you put together your support network is
tell your people
what you’re going to do and ask them to hold you to it. Most of the time, you make your diet promises in secret. I call them
silent promises
, because you don’t declare them in front of anyone. You’re so unsure of your willpower and fortitude that you’re terrified to put your self-respect on the chopping block in front of others! When you break silent promises, you can sweep them under the rug. You don’t have to answer to anyone.

It’s way too easy to break a silent promise! That’s why you need a
support network. You’re more likely to fulfill your weight-loss commitments to yourself if you share them with others—you don’t want to let them down! When you make a mistake,
you can’t let yourself off the hook
and repeat the vicious circle of more silent promises. So promise your people that you’ll let them know when you stumble on your path to transformation.

To keep your weight-loss goals on track, you need to confess your slipups to your crew, which isn’t easy. Sure—you already feel bad enough about botching up, and now your partners will hold you accountable for it. Confessing is scary and uncomfortable, and with your people wishing the best for you, you’ll have to face the character-building challenge of getting back up—right in front of them! It just might be enough to keep you on the straight and narrow.

You want to make your team proud; you want them to believe in you. Let that desire to please them drive you until you have built the self-love and self-worth that can carry you along your journey. Once you reach your destination, you’ll very likely find yourself expecting accountability from your team!

The praise and encouragement your tribe gives you are like rocket fuel for your transformation. When people on your team tell you how well they think you’re doing, how good you look now that you’re losing weight, you
want
to do more and go farther—not just for yourself, but for them. That’s motivation. It feels good to believe in yourself and keep your promises, to reach your goals, and it can feel even better to make your cheer squad happy. Your drive and determination shoot through the roof! Your chances of weight-loss success go up exponentially.

There’s another upside of confessing to your partners: They’ll make sure that when you fall, you don’t fail. They’ll lend you an understanding ear, help you reassess your goals and promises, and root for you as you recommit
to yourself—and to them. When you reach out to your crew for encouragement in tough times, they’ll be there for you. Tell them you’re going to fall sometimes. Let them know that you’ll be coming to them to heal and get back up on your feet. When they understand the steps of confessing, reassessing, and recommitting, they can and will hear your confessions warmly and compassionately. Their response will reinforce your courage to confess. Their love and faith—
their belief in you
—will help you heal. And as you heal, you can give back to them by persevering in your weight-loss journey. Their support makes it much, much easier to get back up and go forward.