Christmas Carol (32 page)

Every word he spoke raised her temperature,
and he talked on in that hypnotic voice, describing everything he
was going to do to her, and each wild, hot thing he wanted her to
do to him in return, until Carol’s legs would no longer hold her
upright. She hung in his arms, which were all that supported her,
and listened to him, and trembled uncontrollably, and went slowly
mad with the ache of wanting him inside her. But all he did was
speak softly, just above a whisper, and kiss her face and her ears
and throat. And all the while, the strains of the antique waltz
swirled around them.

“Please,” she whispered. “Nik, please.”

“Ahhh.” His lips brushed across hers once
more. She wanted him to take her mouth with roughness and thrust
his tongue into her as he had promised he would. “I knew you would
respond to music and to words and kisses. Are you warmer now?”

“For heaven’s sake,” she gasped.

“Ah, no,” he murmured into her ear. “For your
sake. For mine.”

He pushed her down onto the bed, the edges of
her robe falling apart to reveal her entire body from throat to
ankle. There on his bed she writhed in helpless desire, her eyes on
his hands. For he was slowly—oh, much too slowly!—opening his
trousers to free the huge mound of swollen manhood that strained
against the dark fabric. Then his rigid masculinity sprang boldly
forth and Carol moaned at the sight of it.

He did not undress. There was not time. Carol
opened her legs and lifted her arms, inviting him, and he fell onto
her, into her, and she clutched at him, pulling him deeper, ever
deeper. Rough cloth scraped across her sensitive skin. She did not
notice. All she knew was the heat where their bodies joined, the
driving movement, the tight friction, and at the last, the soaring,
blinding delight.

* * *

Not until much later did she undress him
completely, before the two of them climbed beneath the bedcovers,
pulling them high to keep warm.

“You devil,” she murmured, snuggling against
him. “You did it all with words.”

“Not, precisely,
all
,” he responded
with a decidedly lewd chuckle. “Though I will admit, I took unfair
advantage of you by translating your passionate fear into desire. I
think you are no longer so frightened as you were a while ago.”

“Nor so cold, either.” She teased him with
one hand and kissed his muscular chest and let him gather her close
with softly intimate laughter. Her fear was not entirely banished,
but it was manageable now, lying deep within her so she could
pretend it was gone. “Tell me, sir, what were all those
fascinatingly lurid promises you made a little while ago? I should
like to see them fulfilled.”

“So you shall, one by one, though your
fulfillment leaves me a broken and drained man. Where shall I
begin?”

“Wherever you like. Just don’t stop.”

He knew no inhibitions. With hands and lips
and tongue he made love to every part of her body. And he did it
repeatedly.

“But, Nik,” she protested hours later, “you
don’t always—you haven’t—I mean, you let me, but you—” He
interrupted her with a kiss.

“Half my pleasure lies in watching you,” he
said. “I have been enjoying all the passion a mere man can handle
in a few short hours.”

“But I want—”

“I know,” he murmured. “One last time before
we must leave this room, this palace of love we have created.”

“Show me again how best to pleasure you,” she
begged. “This last time should be just for you.”

“Together, or not at all.” He took her hand
and put it in a place where she had not thought to touch him before
that moment. Groaning and sighing in delight he whispered, “This
will be for both of us, Car. Together.”

And they were. Staring into his eyes at her
last instant of sanity, she could almost believe they would always
be one in this way, with their bodies completed by each other and
their hearts and minds and souls blended into one glorious
acceptance of a happiness that knew no limits of time or space.
Then Nik moved in her and Carol could think no more.

“I want to be a real part of the uprising.”
Seeing Nik with his sharp profile outlined by the light from the
little oil lamp as he bent over to fasten his boots, Carol knew
that no matter what might happen on this fateful day, she would
always remember him like this. The dark colors of his shirt and
trousers, the contrast of focused lamplight and deep shadows burned
themselves into her brain, imposing this more mundane image next to
the sublime sight of Nik’s features softened by the transports of
passion.

It was amazing that while she desired him
with a violent need that did not cease when each episode of
lovemaking was finished, she also treasured this aspect of their
time together, the talking and planning. She liked being with him
when his friends were present, too. She loved their times alone and
in private, but those hours were only a part of her attachment to
this man. There was a balance to their relationship, a completeness
in all areas of her present existence, that made their private
moments even more precious. Carol was determined not to be parted
from him on such an important day, unless it was because she was
actively helping him.

“If Pen and Jo can go with you, then so can
I,” she told him.

“Pen and Jo have personal reasons for what
they are doing.” Nik stood, buckling his belt around his slim
waist. “Pen in particular. She has a sister to avenge.”

“Sister?” Carol repeated. “I didn’t know.
What happened?”

“She died of pneumonia in a year when fuel
rationing was unusually strict. Many of the very young and the very
old died of cold and hunger during that bitter winter.” His voice
was cool and unemotional, but Carol was not fooled by his
indifferent pose. There was a sadness in him when he spoke of that
loss. “She was two years old. I am not certain how much Pen
actually remembers about El, but I’m sure she must feel the
absence, since they were twins.”

“Her name was El?” When he nodded without
answering, being busy taking several pieces of equipment out of the
chest of drawers, Carol went on. “She was your sister, too, and you
are five or six years older than Pen. You must remember her.”

“Where Pen is long and lean with a character
that is a bit sharp at times,” he said, pausing in his preparations
with a weapon in one hand, “El was round and plump and laughed a
lot. She was a cuddly child. They weren’t identical twins, you
see.”

“El’s death must have hurt you, too.”

His eyes met hers, and in their sudden blaze
of green fire Carol saw all the reasons why he would lead that
day’s revolt. It had really begun with the death of his sister,
when he could not have been much more than seven or eight years
old. She knew the pain of that childhood loss must have gone deep
because, although he had told her much about his life in the
interludes between their lovemaking on several nights, he had never
mentioned El until now. But he wanted her to know El’s name, and to
understand the most intimate, most secret, of his reasons for what
he was doing.

She could not think of anything to say. She
could only go to him, to put her arms around his waist and her head
on his shoulder, to hold him thus for a while, until his arms came
around her, too, and they stood bound together by the knowledge of
loss, and by love.

And then it was time for them to go down to
the kitchen and join the others, to make their last preparations
for the battles that lay ahead.

“I don’t care what you say, Nik, I do not
want to be protected. I am going to have some part in this,” Carol
told him. “After what I have seen and heard in the last three days,
and especially after what I witnessed last night at that
disgustingly luxurious party for Leader Fal, I
must
be
involved in the uprising.”

“If you go out,” Nik responded, “if Commander
Drum sees and recognizes you, he will order you imprisoned—or
worse.”

They were all in the kitchen, sitting around
the table over the remains of a late morning meal, their last
before they went forth to do battle with the Government. Even Lady
Augusta was there, returned from her mysterious absence. In her
tattered gray and black robes she truly looked like the witch Nik
and the others believed her to be. Carol turned to her, hoping to
draw Lady Augusta into the argument on her own side.

“You said once that your mission was to teach
me to care about others and to want to help people,” Carol said.
“Well, now I do care. Can’t you convince Nik to change his mind?
I’m sure he will listen to you.” She broke off because Lady Augusta
was looking at her with a particularly penetrating gaze.

“It is true you have changed in deep and
positive ways,” said Lady Augusta. “But are you prepared to accept
the final transformation required of you?”

“I can’t answer your question until I know
what the final change is going to be,” Carol said. “What I do know
is that I am a part of these people—of all of them, even those like
Lin and Sue who are not immediate members of this one group. We are
family
. I can’t explain my feelings about this. It just is.
We are all part of a whole.”

“Just so.” Lady Augusta nodded her approval
of the sentiment Carol was expressing.

“Which is why I cannot stay here, safe and
warm, with food at hand,” Carol declared, “while my friends go out
into the cold to do battle for reasons that are so right and clear,
not knowing if they will live to return home. It would break my
heart if I could not go with them. I feel that I am
meant
to
be with them today.”

During this impassioned speech Lady Augusta
never took her eyes off Carol, and it seemed to Carol that her
glance was warmer than it had ever been. When Carol fell silent,
Lady Augusta turned the same warm look on Nik.

“I do not think you can prevent her,” Lady
Augusta said to Nik, “unless you intend to practice physical
restraint on her.”

“Tying her up probably wouldn’t work,” Pen
said, cutting into the dispute. “Car is a resourceful person. She
will find a way to do what she wants to do.”

“I say, let her go with us,” said Jo. The
others around the table added their agreement, outvoting Nik.
Still, he was their leader, and Carol knew if he flatly refused to
let her join them, they would accept his decision, however
grudgingly.

“Aug.” Nik turned to Lady Augusta. “Can you
promise me that Car will be safe throughout the fight that’s sure
to happen today?”

“Why should I be safe if no one else is?”
Carol cried. “Give me something constructive to do and I will take
my chances with the rest of you.”

“You could always come with me,” Luc
suggested. “Do you know anything about pyrotechnics? Or demolition
work?”

“I can learn.” Carol’s response was
immediate.

“No.” Nik’s reaction was just as quick. “She
cannot go with you, Luc.”

“I don’t intend to blow myself up, you know,”
Luc said to him. “Or anyone else, either. An opening salvo is all I
plan. Just a bit of distraction for those uncivil civil
guards.”

“Anything we do today carries some danger
with it,” Jo remarked. “Let Car go with Pen and me.”

“What will you be doing?” Carol asked
her.

“Directing innocent people out of the line of
fire,” Jo said calmly. “We will be using weapons to protect them if
it becomes necessary.”

“Aug.” Nik looked at Lady Augusta again.
“Tell us what you foresee.”

“I cannot reveal the end of this day’s
events,” Lady Augusta answered. “I can tell you that Car’s future
will be exactly what it has always been meant to be. So will yours,
Nik—and the futures of all the others who sit at this table.”

Nik stared at her as if he could decipher her
cryptic response by sight alone.

“It doesn’t matter what you say, Nik, or what
Aug has to say, either,” Carol told him. “I
am
going to be
in the square with you.” She did not add that Lady Augusta’s answer
to Nik had left her shivering with a new and undefined fear. She
wasn’t only afraid for herself. She was terrified for all of them,
for she had learned in just a few short days to love each person in
that room.

The vacuous face of Leader Fal in his tight
green outfit and the cold, determined countenance of Commander Drum
rose into her consciousness, the two faces of an uncaring
Government that must be overthrown if there was to be any hope of a
better future for her friends.

“Yes,” Carol said again, “I don’t care how
dangerous it is, I am going to be where I am supposed to be.”

They filtered out of the house into the
square singly or in pairs. At Nik’s insistence, Carol went with
Lady Augusta. They were to meet Pen and Jo a short time later.

“Then I will leave you,” Lady Augusta said to
Carol in a low voice so no one else would hear her.

“You won’t be there?” Carol asked, surprised.
“Has Nik given you some secret, magical assignment to carry out?
You have all of them convinced that you are a witch, you know. I
might believe it myself if I didn’t already know you are a ghost,”
she added under her breath.

“I will do what is necessary,” was Lady
Augusta’s only response.

“Riddles again,” Carol muttered. “I never
know where you are going to appear next, or what you plan to do to
me. I warn you, do not try to interfere with my activities today,
or I will see to it that your attempt to change my character fails
miserably, and then where will you be for all eternity?” Lady
Augusta did not seem to be upset by this threat. She only gave
Carol a strange little smile and turned away.

Carol pulled a knitted mask over her face.
Nik had insisted that she wear it, and Luc, who had been out on a
mysterious mission long before dawn and who had only returned in
time to eat with his friends, had agreed the weather was so bitter
that many people would be similarly attired. Carol’s disguise would
help her to blend right in with the rest of the populace. She did
not think the mask would keep her identity hidden for long from the
searching eyes of Commander Drum, but she was not going to mention
her doubts to Nik. She did not want him to change his mind about
letting her join Pen and Jo.