Christmas Eva (11 page)

“Where's that?”

“A couple of shops so I can do some Christmas shopping.” He negotiated his way through the door as Kyle held it open.

Eva thanked Kyle and then looked at Harry. “I thought you'd finished your shopping.”

“Almost—there are still two or three things I need to get.” He pushed her into a bookshop and parked her by the new release table. “Sit there and don't move.”

Eva cast her gaze over the books and picked up several to read the blurb on the back. Most went back on the table, but one she put on her lap.

Harry came back over. “Ready to go?”

“Need to pay for this first.”

“Sure.” He pushed her over to the till and once she'd paid, hung the bag over the back of the chair. “Now, work, via the sock shop next door.”

“The sock shop? I thought you said you had a plethora of socks you never wore.”

He chuckled. “I do, but they sell ties as well, and I need a new one for a black tie event coming up soon.” He paused. “Actually I need a bow tie. I've managed to go without until now, but can no longer put it off.”

She nodded and, while he was distracted by the bow ties, looked at the Christmas socks and ties. She chose a couple and managed to pay without Harry noticing. She shoved the bag into her coat pocket just as he came over.

“Eva, which one? One I have to tie or a pre-done one.”

“Cheat, every time. Unless you are one of the few men who can actually fasten a bow tie properly?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Then why even bother to look at the other ones?”

“Good point. Cheating one it is.” He pulled out his wallet. “Are you sure you don't want me to go with you to see Darrell tomorrow?”

“Quite sure,” she said. “I told you, I'm a big girl. I'm going on my own.”

 

~*~

 

By seven-thirty the next morning, her resolve failed. Unable to breathe and gripped by a panic attack, Eva was unable to even stir from under the duvet. She ignored the knock on the door, her nails almost bitten to the quick.

The door opened. “Come on, Eva, or the car will be here before you're dressed.”

Eva looked at Felicity and shook her head.

“Then we'll do this together.” Felicity sat on the bed and hugged her.

“But H-H-Harry—”

“—will never know,” came the response. “Tracksuit or jeans?”

“Don't care.”

Felicity nodded and helped her dress in the new tracksuit. “OK, breakfast and don't tell me you're not hungry. You need to eat.”

“You want me to throw up on you?”

“I want you to eat.” Felicity looked at her watch. “But we'll have to get something on the way as we don't have time now.”

“Eva, your car is here.” Her father's voice came through the door.

“Be right out.” Eva sucked in a deep breath. “I'm scared.”

Felicity hugged her. “I know you are, Evie. That's why I'm coming with.” She pushed the chair into the hall.

A tall man in driver's livery stood there. “Mr. Lyell gave me instructions to stop for food for you on the way,” he said.

Felicity laughed. “See, Evie, even Harry knows you too well.”

The nearer they got to London, the worse Eva felt.

She'd gone beyond panic and nausea, through numb and was now beside herself. Prayer had gone someway to helping, but the torrent of nerves had her shaking. The coffee she'd drunk from the drive-through sat like lead on the bottom of her stomach.

Dot on nine-thirty, the nurse came out and called her name.

“I'll wait here,” Felicity said. “You'll be fine.”

Eva closed her eyes as the nurse pushed her into the consulting room.

A tall man, who looked like a red-headed Harry stood and held out a hand. “Miss Anderson, I'm Darrell Lyell.”

Eva shook his hand. “Hi. Harry's told me a lot about you.”

“Should I be worried?” he asked, sitting beside the desk.

“No, he just says you're the best and are always honest with your patients.”

Darrell smiled. “I like to be, because that way they know they can trust me, right? So, even though I have read your file from the hospital, let's start with a little background and you tell me from your point of view what happened and how you're coping or not coping as the case may be. Harry tells me it was a car accident back in April.”

Eva filled him in and picked at her nails, aware of him taking notes as she spoke. “Harry persuaded me to come. I said there was no point, no offense, but every doctor will tell me the same thing.”

“None taken, but let's hold off on their diagnosis and let me make my own. After all that is why Harry sent you here, right?” As she nodded, Darrell put the pen down. “Have you tried standing or walking?”

“No.” She didn't believe what she was hearing. She sucked in a deep breath. “They said my back was broken, put me in a corset thing for three or four months, then told me to stop wearing it. And I'm no doctor, but even I know what a broken back means.”

“OK. We'll start with a few basic tests, and then do a couple of complex ones to rule out a few things.” He raised an eyebrow at her frown. “Yes, I've read your notes and know what they say, but you want my opinion, not to be told what the file says.”

Eva spent the next hour being thoroughly checked over. Her blood pressure was too high, her weight too low. She had pins pressed against her legs, blood drawn, X-rays, CT scans, until she was mentally exhausted. He lifted her legs, had her press her feet against his hand as he checked each joint and muscle, and got her to wiggle her toes.

Afterwards he wrote up his notes while she dressed, and then he lifted her onto the chair in front of his desk. He perched on the edge next to her. “Well, the good news is there is no physical reason why you can't walk.” He ran through the test results with her.

Eva looked at the X-ray of her spine. “It's healed?”

He nodded. “So, that means the reason you're still in the chair is most likely psychological.”

Eva frowned. “You're saying I'm crazy? That I'm doing this to myself? Harry already gave me the no-holes-barred survivor's guilt lecture.”

“That's my brother, full of tact,” Darrell laughed. “I'm not saying you're crazy at all. I'm saying that it's a case of mind over matter here. If you believe you can stand and walk, then you'll be able to.” He pulled a walker in front of her and strapped something firm around both her ankles. “Right, place both hands on the frame and stand up.”

“I can't.”

He pulled his chair around the desk and looked at her as he sat. “You managed to lift your leg and press it against my hand. All I'm asking, is you do that to the floor. I won't let you fall. Or are you afraid to try?” He gripped her hands and put them on the frame. “You have enough strength in your upper body and proof there is nothing wrong with your spine. Now try.”

Eva glanced at the X-ray. She sucked in a deep breath, gripped the walker tightly, and shifted her weight a little.

Strong hands gripped her around the waist. “Up we go.”

Her legs shook and her knees threatened to buckle. Pins and needles shot through her feet, making her cry out.

“You all right? What hurts?”

“Feet…Pins and needles,” she gasped.

“That's normal. Sit a minute and put your feet on my lap.”

She did so and cringed as he massaged her feet, wanting to move them, but letting him do what he needed.

“Just work through the discomfort, wiggle your toes like before.”

Eva scrunched up her face, trying to do what he asked. After a couple of minutes, she opened her eyes. “OK, it's gone.”

“Right. Now, just like before.” He grasped her waist. “On three, one, two and up.”

She pushed upright, gripping the walker tightly. This time her legs held, and Darrell let go of her waist. She hadn't been upright in so long, her head spun and she was dizzy with vertigo. She opened her eyes as someone called her name. “Yes?”

“OK, look at me. Now, what scares you about standing and walking? And don't say falling, because you're standing now.”

“Not scared.”

“You are, and until you get past that, your mind will not allow you to walk. Now what scares you?”

“Fine,” she managed. “Sue died because of me.”

Darrell studied her. “That wasn't your fault. What else?”

Eva leaned on the frame, shifting her weight as she slid a foot forwards. “Rain, being outside, not waking up when I sleep, having everyone pity me, not being able to do stuff, failing.”

He smiled. “That's quite a list.”

“And I don't need you laughing at me either. What kind of a doctor are you?”

“I'm not laughing Eva. You've been standing unaided for a good five minutes and taken at least three steps towards me.”

She looked at him. “What?”

“You even let go of the frame at one point to wave your hands at me.”

“Oh.” Her legs gave.

Darrell caught her, sat her down. “You need to put all that anger and fear into getting better. Now are you going to take a walker home with you or crutches?”

“Crutches.” Eva took a deep breath. “Might as well go the whole hog.” She gripped the crutches he gave her tightly and spent the next five minutes practicing standing and sitting and taking one step. “I don't want you telling Harry any of this,” she said.

“I promise. Now, I'm going to give you a list of exercises to do before I see you again at the end of next week.” He tilted his head. “And before you mention the cost, we'll worry about that later. The important thing is to build on what you just did. Just bear in mind that you haven't used your legs in a good few months. You'll be weak at first, but the more you use them, the more your muscles will remember, and the stronger you'll become.” He pushed the chair back to reception. “See you next week.”

Felicity stood, her eyes widening as she saw the crutches. “Evie?”

Eva glanced at Darrell and then leaned the crutches against the side of the chair. She grabbed her sister's hands. “Got something to show you.” Taking a deep breath, she stood.

Felicity screamed and hugged her tightly. “That's a real answer to prayer. We need to go home and show everyone.” She looked at Darrell. “Thank you so, so much, Mr. Lyell. You're a miracle worker.”

Darrell grinned. “Thank you, but it was nothing I did. It was all God. See you next week, Eva. Take care now.”

Eva sat down again. “I will.” Her gaze fell on a magazine on the table with Harry on the front cover. “You read this one?”

Felicity shook her head, not looking up from her phone. “No. I can't get a signal, just popping outside to call the driver; then I'll be back.”

Eva nodded, flicking through the magazine to find the interview with Harry. Numbness spread from her fingertips, up her arms, to her heart. Picture after picture of Harry shirtless on a beach with a woman equally scantily clad filled several pages. She checked the date on the front cover—it was the current issue.

Her gaze went back to the photos.
Matthew Lyell on romantic getaway with friend
the headline screamed. The friend was listed as Joanne Finch, twenty-three. The pictures got worse and worse until they were more than slightly compromising.

Tears filled Eva's eyes. She was a fool. He didn't love her. He never could. She was a no one.

“Evie, are you all right?”

Eva looked up, closing the magazine. “I'm fine, Fi. Let's go home.”

“We'll pick one of those up on the way.”

“I don't think so.”

“Well, I do. I want to read about this boyfriend of yours.”

Eva shook her head. “You really don't.”

Felicity took the magazine and flicked through it. Her eyes widened as she saw the photos. “Oh, Evie…”

Eva picked up the crutches, not bothering to hide the tears. “Can we please go home now? And you're not to tell anyone I can stand.”

 

 

 

 

10

 

Harry sat in his dressing room, drumming his fingers on the table. He'd gotten as far as he could, but didn't want to start his own makeup in case Eva arrived. He'd give her another five minutes, then do it himself. He'd watched her enough to know what to do. The door opened and Eva sat in the doorway. He beamed. “Hey, how did it go?”

He stood and crossed rapidly to the chair, bending to kiss her. She turned her face away, backing the chair from him. He frowned, his joy at seeing her replaced with concern. “Eva?”

“It was fine.” Her tone was as flat as her whole demeanor.

“Fine? It doesn't sound fine.”

“I said it was fine. He did loads of tests and stuff, and I'm now running late. We need to do your makeup.”

Harry sat down and laid back for her, shifting down so his head was in her lap. He looked up at her. If he didn't know better, he'd say she'd been crying. Had he done the wrong thing in insisting she went to see Darrell? “What's wrong, love?”

Eva visibly froze at the term of endearment. Her eyes clouded and her hands stilled. “Why should there be anything wrong?” she snapped.

“You just seem out of sorts.” He wasn't going to mention the crying. He'd like his head left on his shoulders if at all possible.

“I'm tired.”

“It's more than that.” He reached up for her.

Eva pulled back, raising her hands. “Will you keep still? Or you'll end up looking stupid.”

“Fine.” Harry dropped his arm and closed his eyes. Darrell had given her bad news. There was no other explanation for her mood.

She worked in silence for a few more minutes. “You're done. You know how to take it off, right?”

Harry looked at her. “Yes, but…”