Christmas with Danny Fit (7 page)

oh God—“touch things, or what feels good to someone else or…

etiquette, or….” He trailed off and then manned up. This could be the worst thing he had to confess, ever, and he’d done it. Finish strong or not at all, right? He looked Jesse in the eyes.

“About all I really do know is that I probably don’t need a condom. Which is good. Because I don’t have any.”

And that last part seemed to prompt Jesse into action. He stood, and for a second he struggled with the sheet like he was going to take it with him, and Kit struggled with the towel to put it back around his body, and then Jesse dropped the sheet and came over to Kit and took his hands.

The towel flurried to the floor.

“You didn’t even hope for me?” Jesse said softly, and Kit avoided his eyes. He’d pinned all of his hope on Danny Fit, really, because he had absolutely no expectations of that one ever coming true.

“It hurts to hope.” It was a painful admission. He wondered if he could ever tell Jesse about Danny Fit and decided that maybe, just maybe,
that
would be harder to do than confessing to his overripe virginity.

Jesse nodded. “I know that,” he said. “I
do
need a condom, okay? Because you don’t want to wait for someone who might be special, because it hurts to hope for something like that. And then you just sleep with anyone who might make it hurt less, and not Amy Lane

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with the right someone who won’t make it hurt at all.” He kept his head down and seemed to stare at Kit’s hands, his soft accountant’s hands, as he stroked the backs of them with his thumbs. “I’m not a virgin,” he said with a sardonic smile. “I’ve done lots of things… lots of
men
that I’m not proud of.”

He looked up at Kit then, and he grimaced, and Kit thought maybe he was fighting tears too. “Do you remember the first day at work? You were showing me how to use the copy machine?”

Kit shook his head. He’d spent the entire day dazzled. There was no single moment he remembered, just Jesse, big eyes, sweet smile, all of it.

“Well, I was feeling a little out of my league—that thing’s a monster, and it’s all hooked up to the computer and everything, and you showed me how to use it, and you were like, ‘No worries.

Just think of it as the helm of the Starship Enterprise—you’re like, Chekhov, right? We won’t make you wear the red jumpsuit, I swear’.”

Kit couldn’t look at him. Were they both just standing there, naked, staring at each other’s hands?

“Look at me, Kit.”

Apparently not. Kit looked up, and Jesse smiled into his eyes.

“It was the nicest thing anyone ever said or did for me on the job or at school or anything. And you were nice every day since.

You said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and put aside your work to talk to me. You were funny—when you let yourself talk. And I kept thinking, ‘God, if he liked me, even a little, I would so totally risk my job to hit on him’. And I did—and it was worth it. It was worth it to drive all night because you weren’t going to try to nail me when I felt like shit. The look on your face when you opened the Amy Lane

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door and saw me? I don’t know how I lived my whole life without someone looking at me like that, okay?”

Kit looked at him now and let his dazzle shine through.

“Okay. Okay.” He nodded and said it again, because suddenly being naked wasn’t a scary thing; it was an exciting thing. Jesse wasn’t going to hurt him—not on purpose. He wasn’t going to laugh at him or make fun of him. Something in Jesse was just as dazzled by Kit as Kit was dazzled by Jesse, and it just might be all right.

Jesse straightened and reached, and they kissed again. Kit encircled Jesse’s shoulders, feeling the urge to protect him. He’d been hurt by life, Kit realized, and Kit was afraid enough of life to want to keep him safe—and to think he was incredibly brave.

Their skin rasped together, and Jesse tasted like Kit’s toothpaste and raw enthusiasm. Kit loved that, and he returned it, pushing Jesse backward, steering him toward the bed. Jesse stopped when the backs of his knees hit the bed, and he sat down abruptly, then scooted back and stretched out, patting the space next to him for Kit.

“Want to start again?”

Kit grinned. “Are you kidding?”

Jesse grinned back. “Not even a little.”

Kit crawled in and lay on his side, and Jesse started the kiss back up, and this time, their hands were free to roam.

Jesse’s skin was smooth. He had tight, stringy little muscles, and Kit could feel his ribs under a shallow layer of them. The hollow where the small of his back dipped to his buttocks was silken, and the slightly furry tops of his thighs were soft even under the coarse hair. Kit was erect again, except now his cock Amy Lane

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was mashed up against Jesse’s groin, and Kit could feel the ridge of Jesse’s cockhead right by the crease in his thigh.

Kit whimpered.

“Let me touch.”

Jesse smiled against his lips. “Me too.”

They backed up a little, and Kit took Jesse’s actual throbbing cock in his hand. It was not as large as his own, which both surprised him and didn’t bother him at all. Jesse, on the other hand….

“Holy God.” Jesse’s fist tightened around Kit, and Kit gasped.

“This thing…. Jesus, Kit—it’s a fucking thing of beauty!” He stroked from Kit’s base to his tip, and Kit had to remember to keep his own fist wrapped around Jesse. He stroked again, and Kit groaned and threw his head back against the pillow and let go of Jesse’s body, which sucked because he wanted to explore, but…

but….

Jesse stretched up and kissed his cheek. “Easy there, buddy.

I’ve got this, okay? You’re primed to go off here—trust me, I get it.”

Kit was about to say “But…”, and then Jesse scooted down the bed and engulfed Kit’s cock in his mouth, and Kit let out a sound that he didn’t know a human could make. He stroked Jesse’s hair back from his face, and Jesse hollowed in his cheeks and sucked hard, pulling back until Kit popped out of his mouth.

Then he turned his head and grinned up at Kit, and Kit’s breath just trammeled up in his chest and stayed there.

“That felt good, right?”

Kit couldn’t manage real words—about all he could do was groan and thrust his hips up, so his cock slid through Jesse’s Amy Lane

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spit-slick grasp. Jesse’s grin widened, and then it went away entirely as he took Kit in again. He was doing a swirly thing with his tongue on the upstroke and using his fist at Kit’s base, too, and his other hand (oh, how very sneaky!) came to play with Kit’s balls and to finger the cleft of his bottom. Oh God. That was unnecessary. That was too much. That was going to…. Not so soon…. No no no no no no no no….

“
Gwwwwaaaagghhhhhh!”
Kit didn’t even have a chance to warn him, and Jesse swallowed quickly and again and again, until that precious, bee-stung mouth was just gulping Kit’s come, and the way that felt on Kit’s cockhead was….

“
Gwwwaaaaahhhhhgggg! Jeeeeee-sus!”
Kit’s knees came up, and he turned sideways, dislodging Jesse, who scooted up the bed, wiping his mouth while Kit curled up into a little ball and shuddered.

Suddenly Jesse was there, arms around Kit’s shoulders, gooey kisses in his hair, and tender strokes against his shoulders.

He smelled like Jesse and sweat and Kit’s come, and Kit wanted to kiss him worse than he wanted to breathe. He captured that sweet little mouth and demanded, and Jesse gave in to him so free and easy Kit could almost believe that sex, all of sex, would work.

Kit’s breathing subsided, and Jesse thrust against his thigh and grunted, just enough to let Kit know that his friend (lover?

They were lovers now. Fan
tast
ic!) was still in need. Awesome!

Kit pulled back and said, “Can I?” and Jesse smirked at him.

“I thought you’d never ask!”

Kit kissed his way down Jesse’s body, feeling giddy as he suckled on a nipple and felt Jesse’s hands tighten in his hair. Oh God… his skin tasted so good. It was sort of honey colored, like his hair, and Kit wondered what he’d look like tan in the summer, Amy Lane

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and then he kissed his way to the vulnerable skin of Jesse’s stomach and nibbled, just to hear that throaty giggle that he’d heard Jesse make on occasion.

Jesse made the sound now, and Kit grinned up at him before turning his attention to the one part of a man’s body that all things seemed to center around.

Jesse was right—it was a little smaller than Kit’s, but it was gold with a flushed pink head, and the skin felt soft and tight against Kit’s hand. Kit squeezed and the head turned purple, and Jesse moaned a little and thrust up inside the cave of his fist.

The first slide of the thing between his lips felt awkward, even when he made sure his teeth were safely covered. He kept going, though, because the sound Jesse made was… sweet. Begging.

Cock-stiffening. Kit squeezed the base again and slurped down until his lips met his fist, and then he moved his fist to see how deep he could take it down his throat.

Almost all the way, he discovered, and Jesse groaned harshly and then gave Kit’s hair a little jerk until Kit pulled back.

“Just use your hand, okay?” Jesse panted when Kit had pulled off it and was meeting his eyes. Kit must have looked disappointed, because Jesse touched his cheek. “I haven’t been tested recently. Just to be safe, okay?”

Kit nodded. Even a thirty-year-old virgin had heard of HIV.

He propped his chin up on his arm and started stroking Jesse’s shaft, and then he sat up a little and switched arms, stroking with one hand and moving his other hand to explore a little. Jesse’s balls were hard (at the moment) and the skin around them was soft and covered with dark-brown fur. Jesse pulled his knees up and spread his thighs, and Kit looked at him, asking permission.

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“Feel free,” Jesse grunted, squeezing his eyes shut as Kit thumbed the pre-come on the mushroom head of his cock.

“Explore at… oh God… will!”

Kit grinned, but Jesse didn’t see it; then he stuck one of his fingers in his mouth and sucked, slicking it up, because he’d read a little about this and wanted to see what would happen. Then he stroked again while he took that slick, naughty little digit and finger-walked it to the entrance of Jesse’s asshole.

Jesse keened, begging, and Kit grinned again. Oh God—in all his imaginings, he’d never imagined how much fun it would be to hear Jesse make those noises begging him to play with his body in carnal ways. He slid in one finger and wiggled it around, and Jesse clenched against him and thrust forward some more, and Kit was delighted enough to slide in two fingers and then grasp and squeeze and stroke some more.

“Oh Christ!” Jesse gasped. “Now!” His come was hot on Kit’s fist, and some of it was white and some of it was clear as it spattered across his stomach and his lean chest with its vulnerable ribs and the tiny mole up next to his right nipple. Kit longed to taste the fruits of orgasm, like Jesse had tasted his.

Jesse’s face was contorted without any self-consciousness at all.

He looked fierce and almost in pain, and then, as Kit kept pumping, he relaxed a little and reached out a hand to stop Kit’s pressure.

Kit pulled back and reached over the bed to where he’d dropped his towel on the floor. He used the towel to wipe off his hands and clean Jesse up, his movements patient and reverent, while Jesse watched him with wide, limpid eyes. When he was done he moved up next to Jesse and claimed that mouth again with so much tenderness aching in his throat he just knew Jesse Amy Lane

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would laugh at how young he was, a virgin, in love with the first guy he laid.

When he pulled back, Jesse’s eyes were shining, and he wiped the back of his hand across them with a rough movement.

“You’re pretty good at this sex thing, you know that, Kit?” His voice was rough and wobbly, and Kit felt his eyes get bright too.

He kissed Jesse softly and stretched out next to him, and thought that maybe it wasn’t the sex he was good at, it was the love part, but he didn’t say that.

It just may have been too real.

They lay quietly for a while after that, and Kit spent some time running his hand up and down Jesse’s chest and arms, skimming his fingertips over youth-prominent clavicles and stroking his deceptively strong-lined jaw.

Jesse tried to do the same thing to Kit after a few moments, and Kit remembered that he was naked, and he was imperfect.

The thought sent him diving for the covers, and Jesse’s laugh had the ring of hurt to it.

“Come on, Kit…. I like your body too!”

Kit clamped the comforter over his chest with his arms.

“You’ll like it better in six weeks!” he said adamantly, and Jesse’s eyes narrowed.

“I’m not waiting six weeks to see you naked, you moron!

Jesus—we just…. You just let me go down on you—do you think I didn’t see it then?”

Kit turned red. “Well then, you know,” he said, because anybody would know after that.

Jesse prodded gently at the arm nearest him. “Know what?”

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His voice was as gentle as his touch, and Kit allowed his arm to be moved for no other reason than it was Jesse.

“Know that I’m the size of a Volkswagen,” Kit grumbled, and Jesse laughed. He actually laughed.

“You’re thick, all right. You’re thick in the head and you’re thick in the cock, but your body is not nearly as bad as you think it is.”

“Fine.” Kit grabbed the comforter and threw it down to his hips, and Jesse laughed some more. Suddenly, Kit thought he might run naked through their little office building if it would make Jesse laugh just like that, warm and throaty and kind.

“Nice,” he murmured appreciatively. “You can see where the workouts are doing their job…. See?” He poked Kit in the stomach, and Kit tightened reflexively. “Look at that. Voila! Definition.”

Kit smirked a little. “You could bounce a quarter off your stomach—don’t bullshit me.”