Chrono Inquisitor (Gods Be Damned) (8 page)

Thrass, ending up on top, quickly pushed himself off of me and fell backwards out of the pod.

I found myself weighed down by the bag and big gun, so I slid them off my shoulders in order to climb out.

Standing up, I found Thrass on his hands and knees, covered in dirt. I thought he looked like a chinchilla taking a dust bath. He definitely wasn’t as cute and cuddly though.

He stood, brushed himself off, and said, “You…are insane.”

“Certifiably,” I said with a smile.

As soon as I was standing on steady ground I began surveying where we were. I got my bearings, determined the trajectory we’d taken and looked to where we’d come from. We’d crash-landed approximately fifty meters from the highway on a slight hill that was dotted with small shrubs and almost nothing else.

Looking down the road I could just barely make out my pip and pad as they continued on. Most likely on their way to Texas. Just then a shadow cast from overhead intersected with my own. I looked up to see a soaring bird of prey.

What I would have given to have its eyes at the moment.

And then I realized I’d left my hat behind in the pip.

Fuck. I should get it surgically attached, I thought.

According to Kali’s coordinates we were just south of Colorado City. It meant that I was still a thousand kilometers away from my new assignment.

“Kali, keep working on regaining full control of my vehicles. Call for a replacement container if you don’t have control in the next twenty minutes. This time make sure that you have full control and that I’m not going to get hijacked again.”

There was no answer.

Not too far down the road, approximately where my vehicles would be on their continued course, an explosion occurred.

I began to worry that somehow Kali had been damaged in the escape and that she was rendered unable to respond to verbal commands. “Kali, can you hear me?”

‹Yes.›

“Then why didn’t you respond to my command?”

‹I just did.›

“My command, not my question, you gods damned migraine inducing piece of machinery.”

‹Based on collected data, when you told me not to speak –›

I realized then the mistake in her logic. “Damn it, Kali, when I give a command I need to know that you heard it and are going to execute it, otherwise, how would I know if you received it?”

‹Based on collected data,
›
she began again.

“Damn it, Kali. Stop with the echo. What I want you to do is acknowledge my orders, but not to call me by some stupid assed title each time you do so. Just give me a simple ‘yes.’ All right?”

‹Yes. And to answer your thoughts, that explosion was your pip. Your pad is continuing on its course. I will attempt to recover it.›

“You know,” Thrass said, brushing himself off. “The key to a happy and long lasting marriage is proper communication.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “Great, now I’m getting marriage advice from a damn youthie who isn’t even married.” I tuned my annoyance on my new partner. “I already get enough lip from her. I don’t need any more from you.”

He looked like he was about to spit forth a pithy remark when gunshot blasts sounded, followed immediately by pinging sounds materializing off the escape pod next to us.

“Get down!” I yelled, but Thrass was already seeking cover on the safe side of the pod. I followed suit.

“I meant to say something back in the truck,” Thrass said. “Don’t you think that whoever was in control of your vehicles, they would have simply overridden it to take us wherever they wanted? We probably wouldn’t have even known before it was too late. And if they wanted us to die in the truck, they were fully capable of making it happen.”

“So what you’re saying is…”

“That we probably did exactly what they wanted us to do.”

“Then why the hell didn’t you speak up before now?”

“I just assumed that being a reaper, you would have already thought of all that.”

“And what the hell did I tell you about assuming?”

Thrass smiled. “That you’re an ass.”

“Close enough.” I said, deciding it best not to argue.

-ping

Both Thrass and I crouched down a little more.

“I think I’m creating sand art in my pants,” he said.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“That-”

-ping

“Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

I reached into the vault, which seemed to magically contain anything that anyone could ever need, and pulled out a small rectangular mirror.

“Going to powder your nose?” Thrass asked.

“Ha. Ha. Would you quit with the kicks already, we’re in the middle of getting shot at, or haven’t you noticed?”

-ping

“See.”

Thrass said nothing but gave a little nod.

Finally we were getting somewhere.

I raised the mirror to try and get a fix on our attackers.

Back at the road I saw a six-person pod, but only one person with a sniper rifle in hand using the vehicle for cover.

Fuck. As if things couldn’t get any worse.

I repositioned the mirror, looking for the others who would have come in that large pod, when it was shot into shards.

Good thing I decided against using my eyes. I really wished then I had that bird’s eye view.

-ping, another bullet sang.

“Don’t suppose you have a gun hidden away like you did that knife?” I asked.

“Wish I did. I hate to say it, but I’m not really a gun kinda guy.”

“Which explains why you brought a knife to a gun fight.”

“Actually, I don’t have that either.”

“Of course not,” I said.

“Hey, it’s not like I woke up this morning with an itinerary that said, ‘Gunfight around eleven, make sure you’re packing heat.’”

“And you think I did?”

Thrass shrugged. “I just figured this is normal for ya.”

“That sounds an awful lot like assuming.”

“And to me it sounds like you still being an ass.”

-ping

The sun was too damn bright, the wind a little too breezy, and the dirt too damn dusty. I gathered my spit and extracted the grit that had accumulated in my mouth during the conversation. Together, the forces of nature were all ganging up on my temperament. That pinging of gunfire that incessantly kept knocking at our door wasn’t helping either.

I sat there in the dirt trying to formulate a plan to get us out of this situation. I hated getting dirty, at least in the literal sense. Whoever these assholes were, they were going to pay.

“Hey,” Thrass said. “Didn’t you bring that monster of metal with us, or were you just happy to see me?” He added a little wink.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yeah, actually I would.”

I couldn’t for the life of me get a handle on him. One minute he was throwing around his own sexual innuendos, and the next, rejecting mine.

I shook my head. “Well, if you really want to know, I did bring it, but it’s still in the pod. If you’d be a dear and fetch it for me.”

-ping

“Ha! And risk these little pleasure sensors?” Thrass said, holding up his callused hands. “I don’t think so.” He kissed them and tucked them under his armpits as if to protect them. He then gave me a defiant hurtful frown. “Why don’t you get it?”

I thought of making a comment, but couldn’t think of something quick and funny to say so instead I kicked the dirt in frustration.

“Don’t you have any other guns?” Thrass asked.

I reached down, unholstered my Glock 55, and handed it to Thrass.

Thrass looked at me with a surprised expression. “You trust me with this?”

“We’re partners aren’t we? Besides, you shoot me, you die.”

“How do you know I’m not suicidal? Death by reaper.”

“Do you want the gun or not?” I asked, reaching out my hand to take it back.

-ping

Thrass pressed the black metal dealer of death to his chest. “No take backs.” Sadistically, he caressed it as if it were a cat. “I’ll cherish it for all of my days. I think I’ll call her Betsy.”

I shook my head. “I don’t give a shit what you do with it, or what you call it, so long as it’s after we get out of this. Right now, I want you to shoot over the escape pod at whoever the fuck is shooting at us. Also, if you put a bullet between their eyes, I’ll pay your premiums for life.”

“Fucking hell yeah.”

-ping

Thrass ducked down, rolled over onto his stomach so that he was facing the pod, and slowly slid the gun just over the top. He fired a random shot in the general direction of the attackers.

That should show them we aren’t completely helpless, and make them think twice before getting too close, I thought.

Looking around at our surroundings to see what I could use to our advantage, there wasn’t much. Nothing but barren land for as far as the eye could see. The only vegetation was a bunch of small shrubs spread out to give the dirt a little decoration. Neither of the bushes was big enough to conceal a person though, and they definitely weren’t thick enough to stop speeding composite.

I really wished I knew how many of them there were.

And then I received an epiphany.

“Kali, lock on to all Chronos within radius.”

‹I detect five
Chronos within my perimeter besides Mr. Thrass and yourself.›

“Can you tell me who, and where the fuck they are?”

‹Their identities are being blocked. As for their positions, there is the individual who you saw in the mirror. He is still in the same position. The other four have divided in to teams of two and are approaching from the sides, trying to flank your position.›

“Well, that’s something at least.”

Having another epiphany, I pulled out my cube, expanded it, then retrieved my aɪs and put them on.

“Kali, sync my cubes camera to my
aɪs.”

‹Synced.›

Ever so carefully, I eased the side of the cube that had the camera lens over the edge of the pod. It worked. I was seeing what the camera was picking up. Unfortunately, all I saw was more of the same shit landscape. I couldn’t see any of our attackers from the cubes current position.

“Hate to interrupt, but I’m out of bullets,” Thrass informed me.

I reached down at my side and removed the three extra clips I had. “Here. Try not to use them up so quickly. You’re just supposed to be holding them off until I can get a handle on the situation.”

“Sure
thang pahtnah,” he said.

I resumed what I was doing.

“Kali, guide me in locating these assholes.”

After a few seconds of instructions and shifting angles, I locked on to one of the shit heads.

“Give me the gun,” I said.

“But-”

“Now!”

He handed me the weapon with the look of a child who just got his favorite toy taken away.

“You’re going to give it back though, right?”

I pointed the spitting end of the gun at him. “Could you be serious for one fucking minute?”

He put his palms up. “Sorry, humor is my stress mechanism. Wasn’t that in my psych profile?”

10…9…8…7…I counted, attempting to keep my calm so that I could aim correctly.

When I returned my focus I had to search again for my target. When I found the man, I slowly raised the barrel of the gun and aimed it in what years of mandatory weapon proficiency training instinctively said was the correct trajectory, and fired.

Through the
aɪs I watched the bullet bury itself in the man’s head, causing the man to fall over, dead. I hadn’t meant to kill him, just incapacitate him.

-ping –ping –ping, came the call from the fallen man’s brethren.

‹There are now only four assailants.›

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about,” I said.

“What are you talking about?”

“I killed one, but we’re outnumbered and we don’t have time to keep playing this game of who has the most ammo.”

“So now what?” he asked.

-ping

“We need to get to the big gun
without
losing digits in the process. Maybe if we can dig underneath the pod just enough to get it to start rolling our way, we’ll be able to reach in and grab it.”

“So what are we waiting for?” he said.

“One of us still needs to keep them at bay.”

“Let me guess, you?” Thrass said, disappointed.

“I thought you weren’t a gun type of guy?”

He shrugged. “People change.”

“In a matter of minutes?”

“Shit happens.”

“We don’t have time for this.” Reluctantly, I handed the gun back to him.

He gave me one of those sadistic little smiles that reminded me of a kid who liked to play with matches and do nasty things to furry little creatures. It made me second guess my choice in words and affiliation.

Still, at least he was on my side.

I removed the
aɪs and handed them over along with the cube. Now I imagined that I looked like the one who had just lost his favorite toy.

“What am I supposed to do with these?” he asked.

“Same thing that I was doing. Use them to try and see our attackers.”

He gave me a look of ‘yeah, right’, but put the
aɪs on anyway and resumed keeping the dogs at bay.

I started digging the sand out from underneath the pod. Within a minute, sweat was beading down my face. A few drops found their way into one of my eyes before I could wipe them away. It stung like hell. Like a wasp had landed in my eye. I cursed the blazing sun and how hot it was already.

-ping

That was the last straw.

I licked the salt at the corner of my mouth and began digging with a new found frenzy. I was going to make that pinging noise stop, even if it killed me. Though preferably that wouldn’t be the cause.

“I’ve only got a few bullets left and I can’t see shit,” Thrass said.

“Forget it, help me dig.”

The pod was beginning to roll back. All we needed was just a couple more seconds of digging and we’d be able to reach in and grab the Magnum Maelstrom. Then I’d rain hell down on those assholes who’d made me leave my climate controlled interrogation pod.

-ping

I grabbed the Glock from
Thrass’s hands and fired a shot in response.

-bang

Something big hit the other side of the pod.

We kept digging. The pod rolled back, exposing the open hatch.

I fired the remaining bullets in the direction Kali indicated for good measure. Just a few more seconds and it’d be over.

Reaching into the pod I placed my hand around the custom molded grip of the Magnum Maelstrom, and raised the monster of a weapon to the sky. In the distance I saw a storm was brewing. I felt a sadistic smile of my own overtake my face.

-Boom

I was blown backwards. My ears rang from the concussive blow while a white flash of light blinded me. The sensory overload was too much for my nervous system, rendering me unconscious.