Circus Excite (29 page)

He walked out across the stage till he was standing so close Julia could smell that faint cedarwood of his skin, the smell that made her think of dark shady theatres. The powerful musky undercurrent of his sweat made her dizzy. Julia couldn't bear to meet his eyes – were they burning with suppressed rage, or was he laughing at her? She kept her head down and breathed in the scent of his body.

‘Were you looking for me?' he asked.

She was thrown again by Robert's unpredictable moods. She had expected her dressing down to start right away.

‘I wanted to explain . . .' she started.

‘Explain how you managed to pull off something like that without me getting wind of it? That I'd like to hear.'

‘I meant to tell you the reason why.' Julia felt herself floundering, wishing that she didn't find herself struck speechless by Robert every time.

‘Why you wanted to stage your act?'

‘Yes.' She realised Robert was moving even closer to her. She found she was shaking – not since the audition when he'd reached up to draw a feather from her hair had he come this close.

‘You think I wouldn't understand, Julia?'

He spoke softly, and Julia watched as though he were moving in slow motion. The warm dusty air of the tent seemed to stand still as he reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear. The gesture was so intimate, so gentle, that Julia felt as though the ground had been swept from under her feet. The thudding of her heart was sending urgent signals to her body, and she was flooded with that same aching tingling sensation that made her
want to touch him so much. As her eyes rose to meet his she thought she sensed something there, a new glimmer of colour and warmth that she recognised. Did he share the same yearning desire to touch her? His faraway look had been replaced by the hungry intensity she'd seen when he'd watched her perform, onstage or in their private sessions.

Before, he'd been a catalyst, directing the action of their sexual encounters yet remaining on the periphery, untouchable. This time he placed his hand on her cheek and pulled her towards him.

‘You understand?' she asked, hesitantly.

‘Of course. I understand your hunger, Julia. The things that drive you. I'm a showman too.'

Julia felt his hands stretching across the great divide between them, reaching to her and the warm responsive body that had wanted him for so long. When he touched her it was a strangely soft and tender feeling, his hand working at her shoulder through the cloth of her shirt, kneading at the muscles as though he were trying to feel the very substance of her.

‘What you said, about the audiences, about performing.' Julia felt the words rushing to her lips now, and the sudden need to explain everything to him that she'd experienced since she arrived at the circus. She wanted him to know all her thoughts, all her feelings. As he pulled her arms upwards to rest on his shoulders, she talked as though the words were spilling out of her.

‘I was thinking about how I feel, on the stage. And how the audience feels, what they look for.'

‘How you turn them on?' Robert seemed to be laughing at her, gently.

Julia nodded. She hesitated, unused to speaking so openly to Robert, but the situation between them was changing, even as she did so. He was holding her against
him now, and the parts of their bodies that touched were buzzing as though currents of electricity were passing between them.

‘I was – I was thinking of you,' she admitted finally, feeling her cheeks flush as she let her breasts brush against his chest and felt the swell of his cock bump gently against her belly. It was an unbearably erotic feeling – after wanting him so long, to finally feel his body was a deeply shocking epiphany. Julia was so acutely aware of the feel of his strong wiry muscles under her hands that she thought she was communicating with him solely by touch.

He leant in then to kiss her, and Julia felt the heat of his mouth as the hottest, sweetest touch of her life. Under the pale light from the lighting rig they pressed against each other. Julia felt herself falling into Robert as though she were finally coming home, her hands searching roughly under his shirt to find the smooth flesh she craved.

His body was warm and real. So real. She'd felt many men's bodies against hers, but never one that seemed to respond so swiftly to her movements. It was as though Robert had unleashed all the pent-up desire of the summer, running his hands over her, exploring her, licking and biting her neck and nuzzling his head down towards her breast without ever taking his lips away from her skin. Julia felt the roughness of his stubble and then, suddenly, a wave of disbelief. After so long teasing her, toying with her, why was Robert at last giving in? Was he taking advantage of her one last night before he sacked her? She struggled to pull away from him.

‘Why, why now?' she asked, her breath ragged. Robert kept his hands clamped around her waist, and looked at her with that familiar flicker of amusement.

‘Because we're equal now.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Julia, you turn me on. Always have done. But I wasn't about to start screwing you.'

‘What, you thought I was beneath you?' Julia laughed in disbelief.

Robert shook his head, reaching out to run a finger round the inside of Julia's collar.

‘This circus revolves around sex. Just because I found you beautiful, and you made me horny, wasn't enough.'

‘And now?'

‘When you pulled off that little coup, you showed me just what you're capable of. Proved your mettle.'

Julia felt herself start to melt again as Robert traced the outline of her breasts with his fingertip, aware of her mind struggling to keep a hold on the conversation as he flicked gently at her nipples, coaxing them into stiff points. She felt her mouth curl in a smile.

‘I won the game, then?'

Robert laughed. ‘I could have killed you. But then again, Julia, subversion is what it's all about.'

Now he held both her breasts in his hands, squeezing gently. Julia tried not to close her eyes, tried to keep her head. As he started pulling her buttons open, one by one, she leaned back, curious to know his reaction.

‘Did you like it?'

‘Oh yes. I always enjoy watching you.'

‘People walked out.'

‘I know.' Robert shrugged. ‘You should take it as a compliment.' He hesitated, concentrating now on removing her shirt and laying her body exposed to his gaze. Julia shivered as he looked her over, knowing that this time his enjoyment of her voluptuous nakedness would not be purely visual.

‘Shocking an audience is hard these days. I admire your courage.'

‘So you're not going to fire me?'

‘On the contrary, Julia. I'm going to fuck you.'

The conversation ended there, and they sank to the floor.

He pressed her back so that she lay on the stage, surrendered under his slow hungry kisses. The feel of his mouth on her belly, his tongue rolling over her curves, was enough to make her drunk with arousal. She could feel the cold surface of the stage under her as he slid her jeans down, and the heat of the spotlight that shone on centrestage beat on her skin. The most intimate performance she'd ever given on this stage. Sinking back to lose herself in the sensation of his kisses, Julia felt a heady joy wash over her, as though she were tasting the rewards of the summer. Her hips bucked against Robert's face as he gripped her by the haunches, the better to probe inside her with his tongue.

When at last he eased his cock into her, his eyes were still closed, and Julia knew that they were connected in the most beautiful act possible. The simple glorious act of fucking. There were no barriers between them now, and she felt his cock fill her as though he was reaching as far as her heart. They were silent as they moved against each other, communicating in a language of skin and touch, of warmth and hunger. Julia raised herself on her hips to take him in further. They were no longer looking at each other, hardly aware of the empty tent around them or the sounds of the party outside, lost in the worlds of each other's bodies. Robert fucked with the languor that Julia might have expected – letting his whole cock slide into her with a slowness that let them both appreciate the exquisite shock of their bodies joining, letting his pleasure build slowly. Julia felt her own slow-burning climax start to shiver from the root of her body.

All the pent-up wanting of the summer finally fell away, and she bathed in the sensation of being so close
to Robert that there was no space between their bodies. With every rocking motion they seemed to be trying to move further inside each other, using the hard stage floor to push against, feeling the dust and dirt stick to their skin as they fucked. It was by turns so tender and so urgent that Julia felt almost on the verge of tears, as though the emotion and the physical forces inside her were more than she could bear. Finally, she felt the hardness of his cock start tensing, pulsing inside her, and felt the friction of the tangle of hair at his groin rub against her, agitating her clit till it threatened to tip her over the edge. Holding onto his hair, biting at his mouth, Julia held her breath and let the universe swim up towards her, the warm black surge of her orgasm crashing and spreading through her whole body just as Robert started bucking and pounding at her, unable to hold back any longer, letting himself explode deep inside her.

They rocked together, floating in oblivion, Julia feeling the aftershocks shudder through her as she relaxed and fell back against the floor. They lay sprawled, limbs entangled and slick with sweat, both half undressed and breathing hard.

Julia managed a smile as she realised it was the first time she'd ever seen Robert lose his cool. After a summer of playing cat and mouse, she'd finally hooked him.

He leant back on his elbows, gasping for breath and regarding her with those lazy brown eyes that seemed to be always amused, always curious. A look passed between them, and Julia knew that everything had changed. She was a different person from the girl who'd turned up in Brighton with a suitcase and high heels. After the most intense summer of her life, after playing the game of the circus and discovering her own desires and dreams – she'd never be the same.

Robert had been her tormentor, her guide, her boss. Now he had the most fascinating role of all – her lover.

She reached out and touched his face, stroking a line down his cheekbone to the point of his tapering side-burn, dragging her fingers over his lips.

‘I've been wanting to do that for a very, very long time,' she said.

The dressing room was a riot of dancers and props, everyone thrown into the panic of pre-performance. Julia ducked as a screaming half-dressed girl ran past, false eyelashes glittering hysterically. She grinned, recognising some filthy swear words among the torrent of loud French that the girl chattered as she scrabbled in the clothes rail for her costume. Backstage in Paris was no different than anywhere else – there were the same tantrums, the same crises. The same flirtations.

Julia sat calmly in front of her mirror, applying the pancake for the first act. Her hair had grown longer since the summer, was now long enough to brush against her nipples as she leant forward to apply mascara. Her body was still as supple and curvy as ever, but she carried herself with a new confidence now: even when walking she seemed to shake her hips with a slow luscious shiver – as though her sexuality was woven into her being and infused her every movement.

The door opened slowly and Robert's face appeared, looking for Julia among the chaos of the dancers dressing. When he saw her he nodded approvingly, taking in the chain mail costume and the heels she wore for the act.

‘Ready to set the stage on fire?' he asked, moving forward so he could touch her hair and weigh the long curled tresses in his hands. Since their first night together in Edinburgh, he hadn't held back from touching her, making it quite clear that she was his. Julia responded with a wink, knowing that after the show
he'd be as fired up as always, cock straining inside his trousers, hands itching to touch the body that had teased a full house for the past two hours. Their sex was warm, urgent, passionate, as though the long summer spent watching each other had kindled an inexhaustible eroticism.

Even as they worked, watching the other performers gyrate onstage, twisting their bodies to ever greater heights of abandon, Julia and Robert knew that their shared intimacy was deeper, more deliciously wild and arousing than the spectacle of the circus could ever be.

Still, they enjoyed teasing each other, and now Robert leant down to whisper in Julia's ear.

‘You're sure you can measure up to these French girls?'

She laughed, sure of her own power whether onstage or in bed. The act she'd devised was now a permanent part of the show, and drew the most reaction from the audience wherever they performed. Reviews had been mixed, some declaiming in horror the idea of audience participation, many analysing Julia's ideas, and calling it ‘post-modern erotic'. Her name was now recognised among the small world of contemporary circus, and she knew it was just the start. She'd come to love the circus with the same passion as Robert, the whole strange sexy affair.

‘Five minutes, Julia,' Robert said as he left, and Julia started her breathing exercises. She remembered the way Joe and Sylvie had prepared her for the show, their enthusiastic games of sex and flirtation, and felt the familiar pulse of heat between her legs. She was open now to so many things, knowing that her sexuality was a thing that changed as she did, feeding both her art and her life. Her body was her whole world, the pleasure of movement and the manipulation of her own arousal. The gift of turning people on was her most precious attribute.

Looking up, she blew a kiss at the photo pinned above her mirror: the dancing figure of Josephine Baker, cart-wheeling through the air, frozen forever in the act of causing a scandal.