Circus Excite (7 page)

This afternoon, the first dress rehearsal, the audience consisted of other performers and the circus workers. In some ways they were more daunting than the public – Julia had noticed the rough brutal attitudes of the people on site. They wouldn't spare her feelings if she messed up. She was also keenly aware of Robert's presence. Hs attention was focused sharply on the stage, as he paced
round the tent checking every aspect of the show. He moved fluidly through the chaos, occasionally shouting brusque orders at the performers. Julia could feel the tension building around her – the outraged shouts as the lights cut were just part of the intense urgency that permeated the whole circus. Behind her, Sylvie was stretching, warming up her muscles. She caught sight of Joe, deeply involved with the lighting rig, his face grim and sweating. Backstage there was no laughter; only abrupt exchanges and occasional arguments as the performers clashed with the stage crew. Sylvie had barely spoken to her, just given her a critical stare and pulled at her costume so that more flesh was exposed. Julia had submitted with sulky reluctance, letting Sylvie push and prod at her till she was just about spilling out of the wrapper. She had a bad feeling in her stomach; not the usual pre-show butterflies but a nasty twisting sensation, as though she was about to enter a nightmare.

She had spent a difficult few days with Sylvie practising their routine. The other girl was quick to anger and even more demanding than the strictest ballet master. If she sensed even the slightest reserve in Julia's performance, she'd bark insults at her – ‘With feeling, girl, for Christ's sake. Don't you have any imagination?'

Julia didn't respond well to such scathing criticism, especially from someone with none of her formal training. She'd danced solo routines en pointe – gyrating sexily around the stage was sure to be a breeze. The more Sylvie pushed her to learn the movements precisely, the more Julia resented taking orders from an arrogant little nymph. After endless repetitions of the act, the sequence still wasn't flowing perfectly. Backstage, she ran through the steps in her head, secretly hoping she could rely on improvisation. There was no escape now though, and time was running short. They were on after the next act.

Onstage now, suddenly bathed in flat white light, were the tigers. These were, in fact, three lithe and curvy girls, kneeling or lying on plinths. They trailed their hands languorously on the floor, like sleeping cats. Julia recognised the blonde girl. Sarah had shared a smoke with Julia the night before and seemed friendly in a rough aggressive manner. The set was based on a carousel, a crazily ornate Baroque backdrop, gilded and strung with lights, the whole central dais revolving at a languorous pace. Sawdust was scattered in drifts over the stage, adding to the sense of an old-fashioned fairground. As the lights gradually came up, a hush fell over the workers and attention focused on the glittering, lush spectacle. Julia watched as Sarah and the other girls held their poses, crouched on the floor in tiny bikinis.

‘Will they be in costume tomorrow?' she whispered to Sylvie.

‘Not exactly. They'll be painted. Naked, but made to look like they're tattooed in black stripes. Eva does them. And the way she does it, there's something vicious about the faces, you know. Like they really are bloodthirsty animals.' Sylvie laughed, looking at the tableau onstage as the speakers whined with feedback.

‘I love this act. So does Robert, in fact. Look at his face.' Julia sought Robert's tall slim figure and found him in the shadows opposite; his hand stroking his chin, a thoughtful, hungry look in his eyes. She knew instantly that she wanted him to watch her like that. He was eating the scene in front of him with his eyes, and she wished she were there onstage, letting his gaze stroke over her, showing him the beautiful curves of her body.

Julia's attention was drawn back to the stage as music poured from the speakers in a sudden rush. The sound was a loud raunchy tune that suggested old-fashioned circus – a squeezebox and mewling violins. It sounded like an old record playing, with all the scratches
and crackles of vinyl. The tent suddenly seemed European, rich and Bohemian in atmosphere, as though they were thrust back into a vintage big top smelling of sawdust and sulphur.

She watched as the lights came up on the performers, spotlights whirling over the stage and flecks of light from mirror-balls cascading over the bodies of the tiger-girls. They lay curled over the plinths, bodies frozen in pose, totally unmoving as the opening bars played out. Then there was the shimmer of a drum roll, and the girls came to life, twisting and stretching. At the same time, Julia had to leap to the side as four burly guys charged past her, poles resting on their shoulders supporting a canvas litter. Sprawled on top was the tamer – Rachel, dressed in top hat and tails, fishnet stockings and viciously high stilettos. A long leather whip trailed from her hand, and she flicked the tip of it idly over the shoulders of the men carrying her. Her face, vividly made up and thickly covered in white panstick, wore an expression of sultry arrogance. As she passed Julia she aimed a kick at her with the pointed toe of her shoe and sat back laughing as Julia recoiled, bewildered.

‘Rachel has a fairly competitive streak,' Sylvie said behind her. ‘She likes to discipline people.' Julia raised an eyebrow, shaken by the unprovoked attack. ‘She's one of Robert's oldest colleagues. They devise the scenes together – though I reckon it must be a hell of a fight before they agree on anything. Especially with all their history.'

‘History?' asked Julia, feeling a sudden cold pang of jealousy. ‘Are they together?'

‘They're not lovers, at least not in the way you'd normally describe a relationship. Robert doesn't do that kind of thing.'

‘Surely he's not celibate?' Julia said, incredulous. She couldn't imagine a man so deeply involved in eroticism
leading a monk-like existence. Robert's whole
raison d'être
was sexual arousal. The thought seemed kind of perverse. She wanted to ask Sylvie more, but the show onstage was starting to heat up and her attention was drawn back to the performance.

‘This is where Rachel licks the girls into shape – look, you mustn't miss it, Julia.'

Rachel had been carefully lowered onto the stage, and was now parading around the circumference, rolling her hips and strutting so that her costume displayed her G-string under the hem of the fitted jacket. She was buttoned up to the neck, but you could see the tight fit of the coat, the swell of her breast underneath. The brim of a top hat hid her eyes – her appearance had an almost military air to it, Julia thought. She held her shoulders rigid and the purposeful strides she took in her four-inch heels could have been a march. Now she stood with her back to Julia, legs spread wide and arms akimbo. In front of her the tiger-girls paced warily on all fours, baring their teeth. The pallbearers stood aside with arms folded and faces impassive, awaiting their orders. Rachel nodded to them, and used the handle of the whip to point at Sarah, singling her out for attention. The men approached, now carrying heavy black ropes and a net. This they threw over Sarah, who screamed and struggled wildly as she was scooped up and carried to the side of the stage where Rachel stood waiting.

The men dropped the net at her feet, sending Sarah sprawling across the floor. She craned her head back at Rachel, a mix of fear and anger in her eyes as Rachel lifted the whip and flexed her arm. She gave a shout and brought the whip down with a sharp crack, flicking it away inches from Sarah's back. Julia watched fascinated as Sarah, on all fours, panted and arched her back, flinching as the whip cracked above her. The scene was surreal, but there was something in the attitude of the
two performers that meant Julia couldn't look away – the tamer had an edgy drive about her that suggested she was restraining herself from actually letting the whip cut Sarah's flesh. Her ass jutted out as though part of her wanted to feel the stinging punishment of the whip. The atmosphere between them had a buzz of cruelty and Sarah's whimpering and trembling was real enough to make Julia wonder if there wasn't more going on than just acting.

‘Sarah tried to make a move on Robert last year,' Sylvie whispered to Julia, answering her unspoken question. ‘It hasn't been forgotten. Rachel is very protective of him.'

‘She won't let him get involved with another woman, even if they don't sleep together? That's crazy,' said Julia.

‘This circus runs on frustration. And Robert just encourages it. He won't ever flat out refuse anyone – he'll tease you till you're dripping, but he'll never touch you. I think that's how he gets off, in fact, just letting his women fight among themselves, watching the tensions build and meanwhile just staying above it all.'

‘But if everyone knows that, how does he get away with it?' Julia asked.

‘He's a sexy man. You know how charismatic he is; I've seen you look at him. What he likes best is to watch, and what do all performers want most of all?'

Onstage now, Rachel had locked the tiger-girl in a cage, which was hoisted high into the air. Sarah writhed pathetically, reaching her arms through the bars and snarling at the empty space below. The music was grinding on around them, punctuated by the cracking of the whip and shouts from Rachel as she goaded the other girls. Julia heard a sinister tone in the fairground music now; the plaintive notes of the accordion seemed to turn sour and dark as the tigers cowered, shrinking
back from the vivid figure of the tamer. Julia suddenly wanted them to turn on her, wanted to see Rachel stripped of her power and stopped from her relentless tormenting of the tigers. Though she knew it was a fantasy, she sensed that Rachel enjoyed wielding her whip and intimidating people. Julia hadn't forgotten the vicious kick she'd tried to give her earlier. She saw Robert, leaning over a chair and watching with a twisted smile, and felt as though the two of them were implicated in some strange sadistic game.

The music continued relentlessly as Rachel, served by the silent muscle men, rounded up each of the girls and had them hoisted aloft in cages.

Within a few minutes she was standing triumphantly alone on the podium, striking poses with the whip and showing her teeth in a grotesque smile. She curled the leather strip around her legs and let it slide up her thigh as though she were caressing herself with the tip of it, working her hips as she pulled the whip closer to the tops of her stockings. Julia watched unbelieving as Rachel started stroking the whip between her legs, all the while arching her back and opening her mouth in a half-laugh, still celebrating her dominion over the animals.

‘She's an utter bitch!' Julia couldn't help herself.

Sylvie let out a blurt of laughter, and pointed upwards. ‘You really are a gullible little girlie, aren't you? Watch the tigers.'

In the cages, the girls had stopped trying to escape. Instead they were now rubbing themselves against the bars – Sarah had her legs spread in the splits over the wire floor of the cage, displaying her crotch to the burly man standing underneath. In another cage, the girl was pushing her breasts out from the bars, squeezing them together and making low purring noises. The tigers were
purposefully displaying themselves to the men below, pushing their asses upwards as though they were animals that wanted to mate, licking their lips, pawing at the bars. The scene was starting to change, and as the men hungrily watched the girls in cages, a new beat started to creep into the music.

‘This is where things start to turn around,' Sylvie said, nudging Julia.

While Rachel gyrated unaware on the podium, still playing with her whip gleefully, the men were lowering the cages. As they opened the doors a driving seductive beat started playing, weaving insidiously through the tent. The tigers slipped easily out of the arms of the men, running into a huddle downstage before turning to where Rachel stood exposed in the centre of the stage. Julia felt a little rush of delight as Sarah crept up to put a clawed hand on Rachel's leg, catching the whip in her other hand. As Rachel looked around, horrified, the tigers placed themselves in position around her, quietly teasing her. Julia had to admit she had a fantastic stage presence. Even as the tigers pulled her down from the podium and pawed at her clothes, she kept her attitude of pained arrogance, refusing to beg for mercy.

Now the girls circled Rachel and knocked off the top hat, letting a long swathe of auburn hair spill over her shoulders. Carefully, Sarah crouched in front of her and pulled at the buttons on her blazer-style jacket. Julia felt the air thicken with desire. Now the whole tent was watching the action onstage and even the stage crew had stopped in their preparations. Someone whistled as the jacket was stripped roughly from Rachel's body, exposing a corset and the creamy-white skin of her décolletage.

‘What we've been waiting for,' Sylvie noted. The tigers pulled at the corset, growling excitedly as it came
undone and fell open. Rachel's body was sprawled over the podium, her breasts exposed and her legs bent apart as she struggled weakly against the tigers' efforts.

‘Kind of kinky, isn't it?' Sylvie suggested to Julia. ‘I hope it's getting you heated up, girl, ‘cause we're on in five minutes.'

It was a jolt to Julia's system – she'd almost forgotten her own act while the tigers played out in front of her. She felt another wash of sickly nerves rush through her. She'd be at the mercy of the audience, which, she now realised, would include the terrifying Rachel. She watched the tigers mauling Rachel with a mixture of admiration and despair – how was she going to follow this? As the act reached its climax, the music developed into a deep, pulsing house track and the lights were turning blood red over the bodies onstage. The tigers were now pulling at Rachel's limbs in a frenzy of lust, their bodies tangled around her as they rubbed themselves against her and ran their tongues in long licks over her skin. The tamer lay surrendered, giving herself up to the animals as they feasted on her body and growled with pleasure. From the people watching in the wings and round the tent there was appreciative applause, some shouts of encouragement. Julia saw Robert bang on the flat of the seat in front of him, giving a whoop of approval and clapping hard. There was a gleam in his eyes that she knew meant he was turned on. Julia felt her knees grow weaker as she imagined his pleasure.