Clarity (15 page)

“I missed you,” I said against her hair. “I acted like a right div the last time I saw you. It’s been driving me crazy.”

She shuddered next to me, but her arm reached around my stomach, and I knew she didn’t care about that anymore.

“How’s your dad?” I asked.

“Okay. Still pretty weak. They haven’t really figured out what’s wrong, but he’s getting better. They really need the bed, so they’re letting him out soon. He’s going to stay with
Erin
.”

“Where does that leave you?”

“Homeless, if that’s the only option other than living with my mother.”

“I just ran away from home, so we can be homeless together.”

She grinned up at me. “I don’t mind the sound of that.”

“I spoke to Joey. What exactly happened here yesterday?”

“She came back. But the other one stopped her. He got in her way and blocked her.”

“It has to be a trick.” I couldn’t believe that he would help. He had fought against us and even stalked
Perdita
for ages. There was no way he could be on her side.

“I don’t know,” she said slowly. “He chased her away. I don’t know what would have happened otherwise.”

“It won’t happen again,” I promised. “My grandfather commanded me to stay away from you. I’m so sorry, but he’s acting like he wanted all of this to happen.”

“He changed when
Lia
died,” she said. “I don’t think he knows how to be without her.”

“He didn’t have to do that to you and me, though. I’ve been going crazy trying to get in touch with you and being half-afraid to in case you hated me. I feel so bad about your dad.”

She shrugged, but the worry lines on her face increased. “He’s okay, or he will be. He’s mostly weak right now.”

“
Opa
thinks it’s because of the wolf bite.”

She stared at me. “What? He’ll turn into a wolf?”

I shook my head. “No, but it’s like his body rejected whatever werewolf DNA was in her saliva. If that makes sense to you.”

“Nothing makes sense to me anymore.”

I couldn’t argue with that as I felt the same way.

The nurse came back to kick me out. “Wait outside,”
Perdita
called after me. “I’ll be right out.”

I scoped out the area once I was booted. The air stank of werewolf—male werewolf. I couldn’t believe nobody else noticed it. My first instinct was to chase the trail, but I needed time with
Perdita
. I couldn’t think straight until I spent at least a few more minutes with her.

She followed me outside barely two minutes later, but it felt like forever. “I had to tell Dad and Erin where I was going.”

“It’s okay,” I said before kissing her.

She pushed me away, but her face lit up. “I missed you.”

A shiver ran through me. “I’m sorry.”

Another kiss. “Stop saying that. So what happened with your grandfather?”

I ran through everything as quickly as possible. I couldn’t look while I spoke, but she took it well. Better than I did.

“And that’s it. You’re not part of the pack anymore?”

“It felt that way, but now I’m not sure. I think I disobeyed or took a higher place in the pack. Something’s changed if I managed to break his order. I don’t know how it works exactly. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get free. It wasn’t only me. It was the wolf, too.
Opa
felt weak, and the wolf took advantage. It’s hard to explain properly because it’s not something I know for sure. It’s more of a feeling.”

“Are you going to go home?”

“I can’t. I can’t face them. It’s been crazy.
Opa’s
been stuck in a room, and whenever he comes out, he starts waffling about plans and what has to be done. Amelia’s been having weird dreams and running off with her new friends. Jeremy and Byron are doing what they can, but it isn’t working. Everything is falling apart.”

She stroked my arm. “I heard you took it out on Aaron.”

I made a face, and she laughed. “Don’t be like that. It’s over now, right?”

“Except for your Dad still being in hospital and those scumbag werewolves running around. I don’t know what to do.”

“Stay with me,” she said.

That sounded good to me. We walked around to the front entrance of the hospital, where she swore and pulled me behind a wall.

“My mother’s there,” she hissed. “What the hell does she want now?”

I glanced around to see the woman. She looked a little like
Perdita
, but a lot harsher, as though all of her features were sharper. “Why is she here?”

She leaned against the wall. “I don’t know. Gran asked her to come. She’s acting as if she and Dad are still properly married whenever
Erin
is around. I can’t stand it. I’m not going home.”

“So don’t. Let’s run away together.”

She laughed. “Stop tempting me.”

Twisting a lock of her hair around my fingers, I leaned in for another kiss. I had a lot of making up to do. A mixture of the curse and our hormones made it seem as though we were lucky to be in a public place.

She finally laid her hands on my chest and pushed. “Calm down,” she said breathlessly, and I gave her my best
wolfy
grin. Smiling, she ducked under my arm to check if her mother was gone. “She keeps hovering around as if she belongs. I wish she’d go away.”

We ended up sitting in the hospital canteen for a couple of hours, talking and laughing and being next to each other. I had almost forgotten about everything else when Byron strolled in and sat in the booth across from us.

“Thought I’d find you around here somewhere,” he said. “
Perdita
, how’s your father?”

“Sick.” She glared at Byron, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Maybe we can help with that,” he said in a low voice. He turned to me. “And you, ready to come home yet? We’ve work to do, remember?”

I snorted. “You mean someone feels like bossing me around, right?”

“I think now is the time to get all of this sorted, Nathan. Dad’s losing the will for this. You didn’t see him when you left. He was almost like himself again. We can fix this. I’m sure of it.”

I hesitated, but
Perdita
squeezed my hand.

“You need your family,” she said. “You all need each other. Amelia’s going through something. You all are, really. The only way to fix everything is to work together. As long as you can say you tried your best…”

I held her gaze for a couple of seconds before nodding. “Fine. I’ll try one more time. If it doesn’t work, then we’re eloping.”

Byron’s face paled. “That’s not funny.”

“It is a little,” I replied and smiled wider as
Perdita’s
laughter filled the room.

Nathan

I hated leaving her again. I made her promise to stay in the hospital and around people no matter what. She kissed me lightly on the lips before sending me off to fix the world. She was right. The family had gone completely off-track when my grandmother died. It was about time we pulled together. I had promises to keep.

“That was brave of you earlier,” Byron said on the way home. “It took a lot of strength to go against the alpha. I’m proud of you.”

“I’ve never fit in with this family. It wasn’t that hard.”

He glanced at me. “Sometimes it’s hard to accept what you are, Nathan. But that doesn’t mean you don’t fit in with the rest of us. Look at Amelia. She’s different, but she copes.”

“Copes? Have you heard about her dreams? She thinks she’s some reincarnated gypsy.”

He stared at me for a few seconds as though trying to translate what I had said. “Okay. Maybe we need to do something about that one.”

“And the rest,” I muttered under my breath. “What did you mean when you said we might be able to help with
Perdita’s
dad?”

“Dad reckons his sickness could linger if we don’t try to do something. He suggested actually turning the man into a werewolf, but I managed to persuade him that wasn’t the best idea. Still, we’ve all got a lot to learn.”

“I feel like I’m learning something new every day. Jeremy helped me figure out the wolf’s trail, and it suddenly clicked with me. I don’t even have to think about it now.”

“Good. That’s how it should be. It’s a pity we didn’t start with this kind of thing from the beginning.”

“Oh, so you’re regretting being a domesticated wolf now, eh?”

He laughed. “Not exactly domesticated. But maybe we need to embrace all sides of our nature.”

“You’re good at the wolf thing. I don’t know why you let
Opa
take over.”

“He wanted it more.”

“And look how that turned out.”

“We all make mistakes, Nathan, especially when we lose the ones we love. Trust me, I know. But don’t hold it against him for too long. He hasn’t realised what he’s doing yet.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Excuse me?”

“When you lost everyone. What did you do?”

His entire body tensed. “I protected myself. I never let myself care again. It’s only now that I’m seeing how utterly foolish that was. Sometimes I think part of the curse was only intended to addle our minds.”

“Am I going to lose
Perdita
?” I blurted, voicing my biggest worry.

He refused to look at me. “One day. Like everyone. So make the most of the present.”

Amelia was home from school when we got there. The dark circles under her eyes looked deeper than ever. She popped two painkillers into her mouth in front of us, but there was a strange tension in the air between her and my grandfather, and I wondered what had happened while I was gone.

Byron called Jeremy into the living room, and he flopped into a chair, the only person in the room who seemed comfortable. Amelia stayed close to the door, distancing herself from the rest of us, as if ready to flee at any time.

Byron and
Opa
stood at opposite ends of the room, both silently battling for pack seniority. I hoped Byron would hurry up and win.
Opa
refused to look at me, but I could feel his interest, and it made me twitch.

“
Perdita
reckons the other wolf protected her. The male,” I said just to break the weird silence in the room.

All eyes turned to me, disbelief on everyone’s expression.

I shrugged. I didn’t quite believe it, but I knew
Perdita
believed it, and that mattered more to me. “It wasn’t only her. Her cousin, Joey, was there, too. He said one wolf was about to attack, but another got in the way and chased her off. Something’s off. The male wolf’s scent is strong at the hospital. I don’t like leaving her and her dad there.”

“We’ll find them eventually.”
Opa’s
offhand tone made me angry again.

“
Eventually
isn’t good enough! If you can’t be bothered to worry about
Perdita
, then what about your own granddaughter? Look at her! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks because of those dreams. I had dreams before I turned. What if hers mean something? Why hasn’t anyone done something about that yet?”

“Dreams aren’t our priority right now, boy. I’ll think about worrying when it gets closer to her birthday.”

“And
Perdita’s
dad,” I continued. “He’s still sick. The doctors can’t figure out why. This is on us. We have to fix it.”

“I can help with that,”
Opa
said in a weirdly slick voice. The look in his eye changed, somehow reminding me of a frog catching a fly, except he was catching problems instead.

“Hurry up then,” I said.

His shoulders tightened. “Nathan, there’s no need to be rude.”

“I’m not rude. I’m impatient. I’m frustrated. I’m sick of us not learning our lessons. We have to act, not react. It doesn’t work for us. You and your plans that you won’t share with the rest of us. Why won’t you tell us the truth?”

“We’re not ready,” he insisted. “None of you are ready. I can’t teach you everything you need to know.”

“Then start with what you can teach us,” Byron chimed in. “Tell us what you know. Nathan’s right, and it’s obvious you know much more than you’re telling us. Stop keeping secrets and be open with us for a change.”

Opa
bowed his head and turned away, leaning his palms on the mantelpiece. “There’s nothing wrong with secrets.”

“There is when people start dying,” Amelia snapped, surprising me. She had barely spoken a word in days.

I expected him to bite her head off, but he surprised me, too. “You’re right. I’m tired of this. The alpha wolf. I know him, but I don’t want to remember those days, son.” He gazed at Byron pleadingly, but Byron’s face remained impassive.

“None of us want this,” Byron replied. “We need to hear what you know about him.”

Opa
nodded. It was hard to tell, but he almost seemed relieved to get it off his chest. He began slowly, but by the end, the words were spilling out without a pause. “When I was young, I was eager to run wild and find my mate. But the years went by, and I still hadn’t found her. I would have the dreams, a face would appear for a while, then poof, the dreams would end. Later, they’d start back up, but it would be a different face. A different girl.”