Clarity (The Admiral's Elite Book 3) (20 page)

“You might recall the era when I was turned.” His tone was flat, annoyed assuming she would require an education because she was a dumb human, barely three breaststrokes out of the muck and well behind his highly evolved self.

Her eye roll cut off his lecture as he took in breath. “Yes, I am aware you were turned in the seventies.”

“When I was in-country a lot of us used. Four or five guys in my platoon cooked every time we stopped. Heroin has a distinct smell. Like vinegar.” Mossy green eyes bounced around the room, sweeping from face to face. A smug expression tipped his lips. “Anyone else get a craving for fish and chips down there at the scene?”

“You think the senator was involved in heroin?” Ryan asked first, bristling and making to move off the door frame. “He was on our side.”

Kenneth’s lip curled. “If you touch me again, do me a favor and shut down the teen drama first
,
dog
.
I don’t want to hear about your unrequited puppy love. This isn’t late night radi
o.
” His eyes darted sideways to where Gabrielle was holding up the door on the opposite side of the room. She stiffened. “One thing Vietnam and Afghanistan have in common is heroin. War gives the good farmers and their salesmen a whole new market. The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

Ryan’s new volatile persona made Becca’s heart hurt for him. Gabrielle’s rejection was not just tearing him apart, it threatened to rip their unit asunder. What with everything else going on they needed each other desperately right now. Kenneth might be crazy but he was also scary intuitive, any weakness could be capitalized upon. Their unit was already hemorrhaging, another cut could destroy them.

Michael’s chest vibrated against Becca’s ear. “I think there are those who want us to think the senator was dirty.” Ryan stood down though he was far from relaxed. All eyes turned to their leader. Becca leaned away so she could see his face.

“The senator was outspoken about his suspicions that some of his neighbors here in this fine city were making a profit on the side instead of destroying the heroin operations in Afghanistan. I find it interesting that a man who has been unfailingly loyal to our cause should meet his end on the same day we come to town to talk to him about investigating Washington’s golden boy. I also find it interesting that it would seem we have a common thread in our last two missions. Heroin.” His hand went to his pocket.  “Get some rest, I’ll see what Black can dig up in the senator’s background. Keep your phones close.” He leveled a look at their newest/oldest member. “You know the drill. You run, Black will find you.”

Kenneth, to his credit, didn’t roll his eyes or make a snide remark. He gave a brief dip of his chin.

Michael nodded in response. Becca felt her stomach tie itself in a double knot at the grim lines she saw on her leader’s face.

This is bad.

Chapter 17

“Gabs, answer the door or I’m taking it down.”

“Give me a minute.” Gabrielle sighed. It wasn’t exactly a shocker that crack the little jackass made would stir up the standoff between Ryan and her. Wrapping the hotel robe around her nude form, she crossed the room and unlocked the door.

“Listen, Gabs,” he started, then stopped. Eyes went electric as they swept down her cloth clad body.

Fighting the urge to tighten her terry cloth belt, Gabrielle reminded herself they’d seen each other naked countless times. Before they were ever intimate they’d gone on ops that required changing. Privacy and being a werewolf were not synonymous. Still, the look in his eyes sent a thrill up her spine that ended at the hardened tips of her nipples.

“Step back.” The deep command came just a beat before his hand touched her chest at the open v in the robe.

She allowed herself to be pushed backward.

The door closed, locks spun.

Gabrielle’s heartbeat edged up, her skin burned where his hand touched bare skin. “Ryan, please.” It came out breathless.

“Were you waiting for me?” Low, deep, his question was a growl. Pheremones wafted off him as his beast stirred. “You knew I’d come.”

Clearing her throat twice before she could speak, Gabrielle tried for nonchalance. “It was hot and I was sweaty.” She watched his tongue swipe his lower lip. “I-I was going to shower.” It came out in a pant. Her chest heaved under his hand.

Another low growl. Ryan’s other hand came to her stomach and he backed her up until her legs hit the bed
.
When did the room get so small?

“Gabs.”

He lowered his head so his hair fell forward, she felt it brush her forehead just before their skin touched. His breath mixed with hers. She couldn’t move. All of her focus was on his body; inches from hers, his heat radiated. It felt so good to be near him. Gabrielle’s walls shuddered with each of the big wolf’s breaths. Hands clenched tight at her sides, she dare not touch him.

The hand on her stomach slid up, his fingers sought the belt. A tremble quaked through him, his hand shook and he fumbled with the simple knot. Ryan, her steadfast, unshakable mate, trembled. For her.

Mate
?

Terrifying. True. Gabrielle felt her heart twist. She whimpered.

“Gabs, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Her eyes closed at the raw emotion shining in his. But what could she do to block the feelings coursing through her
?
Nothing
.
“What am I going to do when I lose you?” She whispered. “I don’t know that I can survive that again.”

“Baby,” he wrapped the hand at her chest around the back of her neck, fingers gripping gently, “I told you I’ve got you. That means I’m gonna do everything in my power to be here for you, with you, to my last breath. It’s all any of us can do and I’m promising you.”

His head withdrew from her space, her cheeks cooled from the loss of his heat and breath. Her eyes opened.

“Let me love you, Gabrielle,” he spoke softly, laying his heart at her feet.

Hers shattered.

Hands unclenched, she reached for her robe’s belt and loosened the knot. Air cooled her body as the fabric fell open, exposing her to him.

This will kill me
.
“Please,” she whispered.

Not the usual rush to cover her with his mouth and body, Ryan’s lids lowered. His head tipped, as if in prayer, a silent thanks, before lifting again. When his eyes hit hers Gabrielle’s lungs seized. So much love shone there it humbled her. She didn’t deserve such devotion. For how may decades had thoughts of revenge and punishment driven her? For the moment she allowed herself a rare respite from internal angst and repeated her plea.

“Please, Ryan.”

Slow, deliberate, he touched his mouth to hers. A swipe of his tongue on her lower lip and she opened. Ryan’s hands eased inside the cloth to rest on her sides above her hips. At his touch she leaned into him bodily, wanting more. The backs of her hands traced up his chest then down, palms turned in. When she touched the bottom of his shirt she grasped the edges and lifted. Leaning back, she broke their connection to look askance.

A flurry of movement and Ryan was naked. He took a half step, closing the few inches separating them. Gabrielle’s eyes took in all of this beautiful man and closed. She questioned her worthiness.

“Don’t hide from me, baby.”

Gabrielle shook her head and opened her eyes. “Not tonight.”

Something shifted in his expression. “Never,” he growled.

She didn’t argue. This was not the night to debate. She wanted only to feel. To let herself be loved. Hoping he would take her physical response as acquiescence, she reached for him.

At her touch he groaned. Her hands slid up and wrapped around his shoulders. Her favorite part of the Marine physically, when they were intimate, was this. The way his wide shoulders towered over her, his arms wrapped around her. Enveloped her. Gabrielle, always the first to reject contact or any hint of vulnerability, adored the feeling of safety and protection his body offered. Most of the time she rejected it, punishing herself by riding him; not allowing herself that softness. Tonight she wanted it all. She wanted to feel every bit of the love he had to give.

Frame softening, she melted into him and was rewarded with more. Hands slipped over her hips so his arms could wrap around, pull her in. One giant palm covered her ass, squeezing the firm flesh, pressing her against his ready body.

Lowering her to the mattress, Ryan covered her. Every inch of her molded against him. Hands stroked, legs intertwined, bodies joined. Gabrielle arched as he filled her, his mouth on hers swallowed her sighs. Their lovemaking was slow, tender. She watched as he coveted her, saw herself through his eyes, knew he would never let anything touch her. Gabrielle felt precious. How she wished she could open her mouth and give him the words that would heal his soul as he was healing hers. But that last wall remained closed, rusted shut from years of disuse.

Tears welled and slid into her hair. Another gentle press of his lips and he wiped his thumb first across one wet track then the other.

“Shh, you’re safe with me, Gabs.” He knew she was struggling; felt her falling, and caught her. Ryan had her. He always had her.

They made love several more times, bringing each other pleasure into the early morning hours, finally drifting off just before the sun rose. Another first, Gabrielle allowed her lover to touch her as they fell asleep. Not just touching, they lay with him on his back, her half covering his chest with an arm wrapped around his shoulder and leg slid between his.

When she felt his breath even out, heard his great heart slow, Gabrielle pressed a kiss to his chest and, unable to say the words even to his sleeping self, she whispered what she was able.

“Thank you.
”
Thank you for coming back to me. Thank you for making me feel special. Thank you for loving me.

With her heart full and her body sated, Gabrielle fell asleep. She didn’t feel his arms tighten or his hand stroke her hair where it lay spread across his chest. Nor did she see his smile as he felt her unspoken confession ripple through him. More content than he’d been in a long time, he let oblivion take him.

Chapter 18

Michael’s fingers traced the ball of her shoulder, sensitive tips picking up the dips and shallow lines spiderwebbing her skin. To the average human, in the right light, some amount of the shiny silver trails were visible. But to him they were always there. The burns she’d suffered, the pain she’d endured for his team, for him, haunted him while at the same time filling him with pride and love for her. This small woman with her delicate features and youthful freckles could be mistaken for one much younger, yet by her heart and deeds, he remained in awe of her selflessness. She humbled him. 

Becca stirred and his hand stilled. Her body stretched, her back driving into him. Warmth from her too hot skin radiated through her thin clothing. Concern for her well being wrestled with his body’s natural response to her curves pressing against his less conflicted head. He’d betrayed her trust last night when he gave her a soda insisting the sugar would help with her recovery from the jump. What he’d added he could only hope would stem the tide of her destruction.