Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 1, After the Fall (34 page)

No one else could hear him but me and his parents, but it was so distracting I could barely pay attention to the conversation going on around me.  Red was explaining exactly how the spell worked, and Jared was commenting on the last time he'd seen it used, but I missed everything Dardennes and Céline said because they were turned away from me and Willy had gone ballistic over his stupid toys again.

"Polly balls!  Polly balls!  I. Want. My. Polly balls. Right.
Now!
  They're
mine!
  They're
mine!"
  He turned his face up at me, beet red, with tears running down his cheeks and snot dripping off his nose.  "Gimme my
polly balls,
Lellamental!"

"Jesus, Tim, give the damn kid his polly balls, for shit's sake!"

All conversation in the room stopped.  Everyone stared at me.

"What?" I asked innocently.  "The kid wants his polly balls."  I had no idea what a polly ball was, but they seemed important to him; and I for one was all about shutting his loud ass up, no matter what the cost.

"You
give them to me!" he screeched, giving me the meanest face I think a baby pixie is capable of making.  He was glaring at me.

I pointed at my chest.  "Me?"

"Yes!" he said, crying and stomping his foot.

My nose started itching uncontrollably.  I put the handkerchief up to my nose, ready to go ahead and blow, willing to risk sounding like a deranged moose in favor of fighting the tickling any further.

"Noooo!!!" yelled Willy, breaking free of his father's grip.  He flew up into the air as I folded the cloth over the top of my nose, taking a deep breath in so I could blow out.

Willy flew straight at me, making a beeline for my face.

I blew my nose as hard as I could, trusting he'd change course in time to avoid a face plant into my skull.

As I blew, I felt something come loose, high up in my sinuses.  I cringed as the sounds of disgusting things leaving my nose and going into poor Dardennes' monogrammed handkerchief echoed across the room.  

I was afraid to pull the cloth away when I was finished, knowing the chances that it was a clean blow were slim.  Shit was sure to be dangling from my nose.  No way was I getting out of this without total humiliation.  This was karma, kicking my ass once again.

Willy landed on the front of the cloth as it hung from my nose.

"Baby Bee, what the hell are you doing?" I screeched from behind it.

"Getting my polly balls!" he shouted, full of self-righteous indignation and full-on you-ain't-stoppin'-me-for-nothing determination.  He climbed down to the bottom of the handkerchief, sending me into a panic.

"Get off, Baby Bee!  Go away!"  I shook my head back and forth, trying to dislodge him, but he was having none of it.

"They are
my
polly balls, Lellamental. 
Mine!"

He'd reached the bottom of the cloth and was climbing up inside it.

"Tim!" I yelled.  "Get your little freak off me!"

Tim was already halfway there, having recovered from the shock of seeing his child headed for my nose.  "Willy get your tiny buns over here, son!"

"My polly balls, my polly balls, my polly balls," was all I could hear coming from inside the handkerchief.

I turned my back on the fae in the room and pulled the handkerchief away from my nose, praying I wasn't going to squish him and equally praying I didn't have any boogs hanging off my face.  I breathed in once experimentally, wiggling my nose around, relieved to find I could inhale through it again.

I cringed inwardly at the faint smell of sulfur that rose up from the cloth in my hand.  I looked down, unable to see Willy at first; but I could feel him wigging around in there, so I cautiously opened up the booger-soaked rag, feeling a little sick the entire time, fearing what I was going to find.

Tim arrived on my shoulder, out of breath.  "What happened?  Is he okay?"

I said nothing, just stared down at the train wreck in my hands, speechless.

"What's wrong?" asked Ben.

"Stay back!" I screamed, finding my voice just in the nick of time.  I calmed myself and turned my head around partway, my features carefully schooled to look natural.  I was still afraid of giving them a full view, knowing for sure there was something nasty on my face, but the last thing I wanted was anyone coming over for a good look at what I held in my hands.  "Just give us a minute, okay?"

Tim was stuttering.  "Uhhh... huh, huh ... that ... uh ... that is ... uh ..."

"Tim," I said, not sure if I should be disgusted, amazed, or just throwing up, "that has to be the most fucked up thing I've ever seen in my entire life."

"Baby Bee?" Tim asked hesitantly, his wife flying up to stand next to him, gasping at what she saw below her.  "What are you doing?"

The baby pixie glared up at us, busy walking through my snot, gathering up little yellow balls of I didn't even want know what.  "I'm taking my polly balls back!"

"What is a polly ball, Tim?" I asked in a whisper.

"Oh.  My.  Goodness," whispered Abby.  "I think I know what they are."

"I do too," said Tim.  A snort escaped his nose.

"What's so funny?" I asked, suspiciously.

"Ummmm," Tim said in a falsetto voice, I'm pretty sure just barely holding back massive hysterical laughter, "I believe a polly ball is a ball of pollen.  Sticky stuff.  Apparently easy to hide in the nasal passages of lellamentals."

My jaw popped open and slanted off to the side as I contemplated the awfulness of what I was seeing.  When I could again, I spoke.  "Are you telling me ... that your evil child ... was storing pollen balls in my
nose?!"

I heard a snicker behind me and whipped around to see who had done it.  Everyone stared back at me with blank expressions, but Red's looked a little too perfect.  And I watched as a tear escaped his eye and rolled down his face.  A smile quirked up at the corner of his mouth and his chin quivered.

Then Céline giggled.

I glared at her, but then Dardennes covered his mouth and dipped his head down, shaking with silent mirth, making it impossible for me to know who to give the death stare to.

"Pixies," said Niles with disgust in his voice.  "Pesky varmints.  I don't know how you abide 'em."

Jared let out a hearty guffaw that shocked me in its enthusiasm.

When Ben finally joined in, I could do nothing but sputter.

"Are you ... you've gottta be fucking kidding ... Tim, your kid ... dammit!  Tim!  Your kid shoved pollen up my nose while I slept!"

"I believe a thank you is in order," said Dardennes, clearing his throat loudly several times before continuing.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I said, incredulous that he would even suggest such a thing.

"No, I'm not.  It appears as if those sticky pollen balls packed into your nostrils kept the contents of the spell from reaching your brain.  If it weren't for the small pixie's penchant for collecting pollen balls and storing in them in such a ... safe place ... you would no longer be among us.  Nor would Ben."

Everyone turned to look at the little baby pixie who was now flying up in the air, his arms full of booger-covered polly balls, glaring at me in accusation.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

IT TOOK A LONG TIME for the laughter in the room to die down.  I finally got over myself enough to thank the little turd for saving my life, but I'm not sure he appreciated what I had to say.  I was probably never going to be able to count on polly balls to save my life again, since I apparently did a terrible job of taking care of them.

Abby took Willy and his polly balls from the room, but Tim stayed behind.

"Much as I appreciate the levity provided by your son, Tim, I must ask that we all get back to the subject of our earlier discussion.  Our problem with the Gray.  I believe you have more to share, Jayne."  Dardennes looked at me and then meaningfully at the tapestry.

Dammit!  How does he know?
  I tried to act innocent, but he frowned at me and gave me a very slight shake of his head.  He was using his awesome parental guilt trip powers on me again, knowing I was helpless against them.

"Okay, yeah.  So there's some stuff I have to tell you."

"This should be interesting," said Red out of the corner of his mouth.

"Hey, old man.  Watch it, or you're gonna get kicked out," I threatened, only partially in jest.

He held up his hands in surrender.  

I couldn't help but smile as I realized that somehow, as a result of bringing out the contents of my nose, we'd turned a corner in our relationship.  It made me feel all warm inside to know I might have just an ounce of respect coming from the crusty old dude.

"I was here in Ben's room looking for him before our meeting and took a little drink of the green stuff there and had a few hallucinations."

"Why do I feel we're getting an abbreviated version of events?" asked Red sarcastically.

"Because the details aren't important," I said, frustrated.

"Please allow us to make those determinations," said Dardennes.

"Details, changeling," demanded Niles, just a tad of his gruffness missing.

"Fine.  So I was going to leave without Ben and I heard a noise in the room.  When I tried to find out who it was, a voice told me to take a drink."

"Who was it?" asked Céline, clearly fascinated.

"I'm getting to that.  So anyway, I took a few gulps of the absinthe ..."

"A few gulps?" asked Red.  He looked over at Dardennes.  "She cannot be serious."

"Can I tell my story, please?"

"By all means," said Dardennes, sharing a look with Red.

I'm pretty sure the look meant I was a lunatic, but whatever.  I kept talking, anxious now to get it over with.  "So I took the drink and then all of those dragons over there came out of the tapestry and started talking to me."

"No, they did not!" yelled Red.

"Yes, they did too.  Shit, first you want me to tell you the story, and then you accuse me of lying.  Do you want to hear it or not?"

"Yes, we do.  Please, Jayne," said Céline, sounding like she was almost begging. She'd moved to the edge of her seat, like she was watching a really fascinating movie.

"Okay, so the dragons came out, and I touched the purple one.  It was warm.  I messed with the black one a little, which was probably not very smart in hindsight, but at the time I wasn't really in control of myself, because that green shit is seriously strong."

"One sip of the absinthe would have been enough," snorted out Red.  "You took enough for an army."

"Well, I'm sorry!  But I didn't see a dosage label on the bottle, so whatever."

"I'm just wondering what you mean by messing with the black dragon," said Jared, admiration in his voice.  The fact that he wasn't being critical encouraged me to elaborate.

"Well, I noticed it didn't have the fangs like the purple one, so I pulled my weapon out and asked him if he was missing something."

Jared's mouth dropped open.

"The Great Spirit bless us, she could have brought the entire realm down with her sadly misguided attempts at humor," whispered Niles.  It was the only time I'd ever seen him look afraid.

"Oh, get off it, Niles.  It wasn't that big a deal.  He took it ... pretty well, all things considered."

"What did he do?" asked Céline, smiling brightly.  She was apparently pleased as punch that I almost killed her and her whole family.

"He flamed me a little."  I chuckled.  "I kind of thought I was going to get a melted face or at least some singed eyebrows from it, but it just got a little warm."

Red's head was shaking.  "I cannot fathom what has happened today.  Nothing in our near history has prepared me to consider anything of this magnitude."

"Your memory has holes in it, old man," said a voice from the doorway.

"Oh, boy," said Tim.  "Hold on to your knickers, Jayne.  Here she comes."

I smiled in recognition.  "Thank goodness you're here," I said.  "Shayla, could you come in here and explain to everyone what you and Garrett said, please?  I'm sure they won't believe me if I tell it."

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

SHAYLA CAME IN AND SHE wasn't alone.  Another angel came in after her, his wings folded but fully visible, and I was taken aback with how cute he was.  I was totally jealous that she had such a hot boyfriend. 
Man the Overworld must be awesome.  You get to fly
and
have hot guys to hang with. 
I looked over at Ben. 
Okay, so the Here and Now isn't bad for the hot guys part.  But I haven't been able to fly yet...

Behind the second angel came Garrett, his face a mask of seriousness.  He nodded to everyone in the room, but stayed near the door.

"Who are these ... creatures?" asked Red, standing in a defensive posture.  His eyes kept scanning back and forth between Shayla and Garrett.  For some reason, he ignored the younger-looking angel.

I didn't have that kind of internal fortitude.  I couldn't stop staring at him.  I could have walked past a guy just like him in high school, he looked so ... normal.  Except for the wings of course and the level nine hotness he had going on - that was kind of rare outside of Hollywood, at least in my experience.  He stared back at me, not embarrassed at all about his boldness, neither smiling nor frowning.  I wondered if he knew Chase.

"Come now, Red.  You know me," said Shayla, taking a few steps closer to him.

"It cannot be...," he whispered, almost to himself, his face going white.

"Let us just say it
should
not be.  And yet it is.  And that is the crux of the problem, is it not?"  She turned to Dardennes.  "Anton, it is nice to see you and Céline again."

He bowed his head.  "Shayla.  It has been a long time."

"About a thousand years, if memory serves.  But let us not talk about time and the ravages it has wrought upon your countenance.  I believe we have a more urgent matter to discuss."