Claudia's Big Break (24 page)

‘Pardon?'

‘Levi's been getting in your way, making it difficult for you to lead your self-centred party lifestyle.'

‘Sophie, that's not fair.'

‘Anyway, what if he hasn't wandered off?' Sophie yelled. ‘What if your friends have kidnapped him? Or worse?'

‘He hasn't been kidnapped, for God's sake,' I said, trying to remain calm. ‘It's not my fault he walked away.'

‘No, it's never your fault, is it?' Sophie hissed. ‘You, who only ever thinks about herself. How could it possibly be your fault? You just always happen to be around when bad things happen. You're a magnet for the dangerous and self-destructive.'

‘Hang on a minute, if we're talking self-destruction —'

‘Time out,' said Tara, stepping in between us. ‘This isn't helping Levi.'

‘She was the one who wasn't paying attention to Levi,' I said to Tara. ‘He's your responsibility, Soph, not mine.' It was a truly horrible thing to say and I regretted it the instant the words left my mouth.

Sophie turned to Tara. ‘You were playing with him. You said you were looking after him.'

‘Why was it my job all of a sudden?' Tara answered.

‘Come on. None of this is doing Levi any good. It's no one's fault,' I said. ‘Let's focus on finding him. We can rip each other apart later.'

It was after four o'clock in the afternoon and Levi had been missing twenty-five minutes. The sky was blue. The sun was still hot but a cool breeze swept over the beach. Thyme fragrance hung in the air. Thankfully, the crowd had thinned so it was easier to do a broad sweep of the beach.

Sophie wiped her eyes, gathered up Levi's dinosaurs, picked up her bag and once again began pacing the beach calling his name. I couldn't stand watching her any longer — Sophie's pain and distress was heartbreaking.

I walked back through several groups of people, retracing my steps and asking for help. No one had seen Levi. At least, no one had noticed him enough to remember seeing him. Tara walked back up to the path calling to Levi as she hiked through the bush.

Ten minutes later, I found Sophie and we walked arm in arm up to find Tara, who was covered in scratches and cuts from low-lying shrubs.

‘We will find him,' I said, sick with dread.

‘My life's over,' said Sophie. ‘Nothing matters if I don't have Levi. I don't have anything.'

‘Shhh, don't talk like that,' Tara said, hugging her. ‘We'll find him.'

‘When? He's gone. My baby's gone and I don't know what to do. He's my life.'

There was nothing I could say. I squeezed Sophie's hand hard, praying that we'd find Levi safe and well.

Tara stood back and surveyed the beach. ‘I've been thinking, who knew we were coming here?'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Who knew we'd be here today? How much do you really know about Jack, Claudia? His scooter looks remarkably similar to the one that tried to run you over the other day.'

‘I thought that at first, but look around. Ninety-nine percent of the scooters here look the same.'

‘He could easily have followed us.'

‘Why do you say that? Besides, I didn't even know we were coming here until this morning.'

‘Still,' Tara said, raising her voice, ‘I reckon you're involved in some serious shit and you've dragged Sophie, Levi and me into your mess.'

‘That's not true,' I said, hoping Sophie might say something in my defence. She didn't. It was doubtful she'd even heard us talking.

‘How could you say something like that? It's not true,' I repeated. If we could just find Levi, then everything would be all right again. The way it should be.

‘Really? What about Con?' Sophie said, springing to life. ‘What do you know about him?'

I bowed my head.

‘You don't ever think, do you? You just go blindly along for the ride, never stopping to consider the consequences.'

Tara nodded her head in agreement.

I couldn't think straight. ‘What about Angie?'

‘What about Angie?' repeated Tara.

‘She's been hanging around as well.'

‘Yeah, you're right. I can see the headlines now:
SINGLE
MUM FROM LONDON KIDNAPS THREE -YEAR-OLD
AUSTRALIAN BOY TO AD TO HER BROOD.
What do you reckon?'

‘Marcella?'

‘Don't be ludicrous!'

‘I don't know!' I said, bursting into tears. My head was pounding. Tara and Sophie held me responsible for Levi's disappearance and I didn't blame them. They were right. It probably was my fault. I should have thought twice about getting involved in Marcus's deal. But it was only supposed to involve the signing of some papers! Surely it couldn't be the cause of a child's kidnapping?

‘Mummy,' cried Levi as he wrestled his way out of the official's arms.

‘Levi, Levi,' Sophie shouted, swooping down to pick him up. ‘Mummy missed you, beautiful boy. Where have you been?'

‘Looking for sand,' he replied, showing no signs of distress. ‘And I found some way ober dare.' Levi pointed to a speck in the distance.

Sophie hugged him fiercely, tears of relief spilling down her cheeks. Tara and I watched with a mixture of relief, gratitude and wonder. Whether Sophie liked it or not, and no matter how much she might want to escape from time to time, she'd always love, worry and agonise over her child. That's what mothers did, and she was a good mother.

‘Come to sand, Mummy,' Levi said, struggling to break free of Sophie's grip, blissfully unaware of the anguish he'd caused.

I looked at Tara. We both shook our heads.

‘Thank God,' I whispered.

20

B
ack at the apartment, we were all still shaken up by Levi's disappearance, and I was worn out from fighting with Tara and Sophie. It seemed frivolous to be heading to dinner with Jack. I didn't feel like going at all. Not only were my eyes bloodshot from crying, I was exhausted and tired. It had been one hell of an afternoon.

Of course the three of us had fought before. We'd had some doozies over the years. Our spats were never irreparable but sometimes the barbs stung. This afternoon's drama went to show how quickly accusations and recriminations could be hurled about.

The three of us had been careless with our friendship recently. Though we were tight, it was strikingly clear we hadn't spent a lot of time with each other of late, and the cracks were beginning to show.

Sophie's furious words rang in my head.
Levi's been pissing
you off . . . getting in your way . . . self-centred party lifestyle . . . a
magnet for the dangerous and self-destructive.

I hadn't behaved any better.

Still, if you couldn't be honest with your best friends . . . But there was honesty and there was honesty. We walked a very fine line at times and sometimes our jibes came awfully close to crossing that invisible ‘no-go' zone.

‘Go out with Jack tonight,' Tara encouraged when I told her I wasn't up to it.

‘But I should stay here with you three,' I argued.

‘Levi and I are playing dinosaurs,' Sophie said. ‘Go have some fun. Please!'

‘At least one of us should be hitting the town tonight,' added Tara.

‘Want to come?'

‘I don't think so,' Tara replied, looking at the notebook in front of her. ‘I've got some serious writing to do.' She patted her book. ‘Although, I'm knackered as well.'

‘What if Jack really is a gangster,' I said, only half-joking.

‘Sorry about that, Claud,' Tara apologised. ‘I was clutching at straws.'

I nodded in agreement. As if Jack could be a gangster. He was far too handsome . . . and an Aussie. I mean, he hailed from Yackandandah. ‘I'm sorry about everything, too.'

‘It's over now,' said Sophie, hugging a squirming Levi. ‘I'm sorry for what I said, Claud. You're great with Levi and I know you love him. It isn't easy being on holidays with a toddler. I'm the one who should have been watching him.'

I hugged Sophie tight. As difficult as our friendship was at times, I wouldn't swap my best friends for the world. There was something incredible about being able to weather difficult times together.

‘Go on, scoot. Get dressed. Jack will be here soon.'

I checked my watch. Sophie was right. Jack would be here in less than an hour and I looked like death and felt worse.

In the shower, I washed and scrubbed my body until every pore was squeaky clean. Afterwards, I buffed, waxed, and creamed myself, then plucked every stray hair I could find, including my eyebrows. I had to be careful though. I had a tendency to overpluck when nervous. Some people chewed their fingernails. I plucked eyebrows. Critically, I examined them in the mirror. Raising one, then the other, then the pair of them together. They were uneven and would never be a match for Jack's beauties. I hoped our children would be blessed with Jack's brows. It would save them a lifetime of torment.

‘
Yes, Jack darling, I always look this good when I tumble out of bed first thing in the morning!' I said to myself after an hour of primping.

‘You go, girl,' Sophie whooped when I walked outside.

Tara wolf-whistled.

I couldn't wait to see Jack. Tonight I was determined to be a dream date. I wouldn't say anything silly, use any offensive language or act inappropriately. I'd be perfect. The perfect date. The perfect girlfriend. The perfect wife. Okay, that was going too far.

I sat down next to Sophie. ‘How you doing?'

‘Fine,' she answered as she shuffled Angel cards. ‘Shaky, but happy. Glad to have Levi with me. Happy with the world. Thankful.' Sophie thought for a moment. ‘And incredibly sad that I've taken Levi for granted all this time.'

‘What happened today could have happened to anyone. We weren't paying attention and Levi scarpered.'

‘Yes, but I was wrong when I said my life would be better if I didn't have Levi. I can't believe I even thought that. I've spent the last three and a half years running away from him, when in fact he means everything to me.'

We glanced over to Tara who was busily scribbling at the other end of the terrace.

‘You'd better not be writing any of this down,' Sophie said.

Tara turned to us, raised her pencil and continued writing.

I fidgeted, twitched and looked at my watch again. Jack was half an hour late.

‘Do you want to read my Angels while you're waiting?' offered Sophie, holding up the cards.

‘I don't know,' said Tara, stopping midsentence. ‘Do you really want to mess with that stuff any more?'

‘My, how the worm has turned,' I said. ‘A week ago you didn't believe a word of it.'

‘I still don't, but I don't want to wish any ill fortune upon myself,' Tara said, chewing on her pencil. ‘Or others.'

‘Ill fortune?' said Sophie.

‘I think what Tara means is,' I started, ‘we shouldn't be relying on destiny, but instead making our own future, and creating our own destiny.' Relying on the Angel cards was a bit like letting someone else take charge of our lives.

‘Come on,' said Sophie, shuffling the deck.

‘Okay, but maybe this will be the last time.' I felt that perhaps the Angel Oracles should retire . . . at least while luck was on my side.

The cards always came down to one thing anyway — belief in one's self. And I got that kind of advice from my mother all the time.

‘Ready,' said Sophie as she pulled three cards from the pack and laid them on the table.

I stared at the Angels and read from the guidebook. ‘“Congratulate yourself on a recent decision to change your inner channel.”' As in TV channel? I wondered. ‘“Don't back down. You won't ever regret breaking with tradition.”'

‘Are you sure it says that?' Sophie asked.

‘Everything is open to interpretation, but yes, that's what it says.'

‘Well, we'll leave it at that,' Sophie said, unconvinced. ‘Sounds good though.'

‘Tara? Are you up for it?' I asked, waving the cards in front of her.

‘I guess, as long as this really is the last time. And I don't want you telling me anything bad.'

‘Shuffle!' I handed Tara the cards. She shuffled them reluctantly while I peeked at my watch and ran my fingers through my hair. Tara picked out three Angels and laid them on the table.

‘Easy-peasy,' I said. ‘It says here in my trusty book that you have to “sort out your priorities and stick to them”.'

‘Is that it?'

‘Why does everyone keep asking me that? Yes, that's it.' I looked around, ignoring Tara's obvious disappointment. ‘Where the hell's Jack? He's late.'

‘Forget about Jack. What does my reading mean?' Tara asked.

‘It means,' enthused Sophie, ‘you have to make a list of everything that is important in your life and work out how to make the most of what you've got and the people you love. Figure out what's important and follow through with the commitment.'

‘I wanted to hear that I'd live happily ever after with the love of my life.'

‘What love? What life?' I asked. ‘I thought the only love you cared about was your writing.'

‘I was joking. Keep your shirt on.'

I shrugged. Tara had a point. I was becoming increasingly agitated. Jack was nowhere to be seen and I was beginning to think he wouldn't show — that he really was too good to be true.

‘Here, let me read yours, Claud,' offered Sophie. ‘I'm sure the Angels will provide you with the answers you're looking for.'

I shuffled the cards without much enthusiasm. My heart just wasn't in it. Something told me I wouldn't want to hear what the Angels had to say. I chose three cards and Sophie searched for words of encouragement while I disappeared to the bathroom for the eighth time, checking my hair, lipstick and cleavage, in the hope that Jack would materialise by the time I returned.