Clearwater Romance (9 page)

Tessa leaned forward as if that would make the words clearer. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Cameron wanted to
marry
her.
Is he out of his mind? I’m pregnant; everyone would think it’s his baby.
“What?”

“Tess, just what I said. My job is dangerous, I can’t change that and I can’t provide you with the security you deserve, I deploy, I’m gone…I can’t promise I’ll be back, but I can help you in other ways.” He caught her hand in his much larger one. “I’d like to tell you to take all the time you need, but I can’t. I deploy in a few days. We’ll need to do this quickly.”

She tried to digest the words but it was like trying to swallow a brick. Cameron offered her a marriage of convenience, not something she ever wanted to hear from him. “Even if I were to say yes, you’re missing a key point. You’re about to deploy and I’m supposed to be on bed rest. That doesn’t change that part of the situation.”

“Actually I’ve thought of that already. Do you remember Jordan Sheppard? We went to his wedding a few months ago.” She nodded, and he continued. “They have a bed and breakfast in Clearwater, Wyoming. As well as a couple beautiful cabins that sit behind it, lots of privacy to anyone who needs it. I’ve arranged for you to have one of the cabins until I’m home. There’s someone that comes in twice a week to clean, and Chloe cooks all the meals for the guests. You’ll have someone to help you while I’m away. I spoke with a friend of mine that’s a doctor at the base and under the circumstances, he believes you’d be safe to travel as long as you’re resting, but he wants to look you over, or we can visit your obstetrician if you’d prefer. Chloe has recommended a doctor in Clearwater, to see to you and the baby.” He rambled on, explaining all the arrangements he’d made in the last few hours.

He squeezed her hand until she met his gaze again. “Just stay in Clearwater until the birth, then you can come back and stay here. You’ll be close to the military base, where there’s childcare, and support. But while I can’t watch over you let me know you’re in safe hands. Jordan was a fine Marine, I’d trust him with my life in battle, and I’d trust him and Chloe with you. They’ll be able to help you in ways I won’t be able to during your pregnancy. Tess you know neither one of us have anyone else, and you need someone right now. I’d give anything to be here, to help you through this time, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”

She cupped his check, the five o’clock stubble rough against her fingertips. “I…I don’t know Cam. I wanted a marriage built on love, not out of convenience. This is my mess, I got myself into…you deserve better than this.” Tears filmed her vision, but she didn’t care. It was the truth, Cameron deserved better than to be tangled up in a mess she created. One day he’d see that he did want a wife and children of his own. She had always hoped he’d want her when that time came, but not like this. Not out of duty, or friendship.

“My sweet Tess, I wanted so much more for you too. I wanted you to have the family that you always wanted, with the house and white picket fence, but right now, you must take the situation at hand. You need to provide for your unborn child and I can help…I want to help. If you want a divorce once the child’s born and you’re on your feet, I’ll give it to you. No questions asked but let me help you.” When she didn’t answer, he added. “You don’t have to answer now. Sleep on it.”

Sleep, how does he expect me to sleep after that?
She let her head fall back against the pillow, her thoughts running in circles. He put in a movie, before he relaxed back into his recliner with his beer in hand. She watched him out of the corner of her eye more than she watched the movie.

Could she marry him if love wasn’t involved? If she had been asked that before she found out she was pregnant she would have said no. But now if it meant saving her unborn baby she would. Maybe this was an opportunity—to prove to him they could have a real relationship again. To prove to him that marriage wasn’t out of the question. He could have his career and her, too.

* * *

A movie and two beers later, Cameron sat watching Tessa sleep. Even in sleep, her face held a worried look, one he wished he could wipe away. He was still on edge, waiting for her answer. He hoped the answer would be yes, not because he didn’t see another option for her and her unborn baby, but because he wanted her as his. It was selfish and he knew it, but he had almost lost her and if the father had been anyone but that married son of a bitch, he might have.

Damn it, I’m a selfish asshole. I want her all to myself, yet I can’t be the husband she deserves, or the father the baby needs.
He hated himself for it, but the Marines were his life, and even if he wanted to turn into a family man the Marines owned his ass for another year. Could he really give up his career, the adventure and adrenaline? He never thought so before, but if anyone could convince him to become a civilian again it’s Tessa.

He pushed the legs down on the recliner, quietly as not to wake her. He’d rather carry her into bed and feel her body against his, it was the closest he would allow himself to get. If they married, he’d need to keep himself in line more than ever. Bury his feelings and make sure they remained a tightly guarded secret.

She looked up at him, the blue eyes drawing him down like the sea wanting to swallow its next victim. “What time is it?”

“Almost midnight, I was going to carry you into bed so you could rest comfortably.”

“I can walk.” She pushed back the quilt and rose. “There’s nothing wrong with my legs, I’m only pregnant.”

“I didn’t want to wake you.” Against his better judgment, he followed her, and cupped her cheek. Her pale pink lips called to him, he wanted to kiss her but his restraint was better than to give into the calls of flesh. He let his hand drop away from her, and stepped back. “Get some rest. I don’t have duty tomorrow, so I’ll make us breakfast when you get up.”

Tessa spent most of the night awake, tossing and turning as decisions plagued her. She stared at the warm grey walls for hours, snuggled deep under the comforter. Cameron’s scent surrounded her and offered comfort. It was sometime in the early morning hours when she made her decision. She slipped out of bed and made it across the room before there was a knock at the door.

“Tess, may I come in?” Cameron asked from the other side of the door.

“Yes.” When he opened the door and stepped in, authority poured off him even in blue jeans, and a grey t-shirt that strained over the bulging muscles of his biceps. “I swear you have super human hearing.”

He gave her a grin that made her weak in the knees. “You know I’m a light sleeper. I wanted to see if you wanted me to start breakfast.”

“Umm give me twenty minutes, I want to shower first, and then I’ll help.” She headed towards the adjoining bathroom.

“The doctor said only baths for the next week. He doesn’t want you standing for a shower while you’re supposed to be on bed rest.” He reminded her. “And don’t forget—can’t be too hot, so just a warm bath.”

Damn it.
He was right and she planned to follow the doctor’s orders completely. She wanted to make sure her child would be healthy. She hated baths, but she’d deal with it for as long as necessary. “Damn. Okay, I’ll take it later, baths always make me sleepy. Let me help with breakfast.”

“Not happening. You can sit at the bar and keep me company, but no helping.” He turned on his heels and headed back to the kitchen, with her following.

“Before, you start, let’s talk.” She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the couch. Sitting she pulled her legs close to her, and wrapped her arms around them.
Soon I won’t be able to do this, my stomach will get in the way.
She smiled at the thought; still unable to believe in just a little over six months she’d be a mother. With her gaze glued to the floor, she broached the subject that was hanging in the air. “I considered your proposal…Cam I’m not sure this is fair to you…but if you’re serious then yes. Yes, I’ll marry you. You can help me give my child things I can’t otherwise, but most importantly it will give me a healthy baby. Somehow I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

She felt the weight shift on the couch. He nudged her chin up and kissed her. The strong spicy hint of coffee overwhelmed her for a moment before she tasted him, pure and full of life. This was not like the kisses she shared with him all those years ago, no that boy had been replaced by a man. The stroke of his mouth on hers held a promise of desire. Enough to give her hope.

He broke away, and their gazes locked. Desire heated his eyes for a moment before his shields pushed back into place and he pulled away. She longed for his touch again, to feel his lips on hers, his hands on her body. She craved his touch like a diabetic craved sweets.

“We’ll make arrangements to get the marriage license today and see the doctor. I’m done with duties until the day of deployment, once we have the doctor’s okay we can make flight reservations.” He rose, and grabbed his cell from the coffee table. “Rest, let me make the appointments and then I’ll start breakfast.”

Cameron loved to be in charge and she’d just given him permission to take over. Her stomach twisted and her heart pounded against her ribs.

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

* * *

The café was quiet at this time of day, giving them privacy. In just an hour both of their lives would change. Scary as it all seemed, she embraced the potential for her, but she wasn’t sure about Cameron. Would he regret it? End up hating her? Or worse—simply be her friend only until she was on her feet? Doubt plagued her.

The doctor gave her permission to travel, because of her circumstances. He insisted that as long as she rested and took care of herself, she’d have a healthy pregnancy. It did very little to ease her concern. All her life she had been carefree, but now her stomach churned with worry.

Tessa sat there watching a young couple very much in love sitting two tables over. She wished that Cameron would look at her the same way the guy looked at his woman. She missed sharing a real connection with Cameron, she treasured their friendship, but she wanted more. Soon there would be paperwork saying they were married, even if it wasn’t heart and body. Somehow, she had to make it enough.

He dug into his turkey sandwich while she barely picked at hers. “Tess, you need to eat.”

“Sorry.” She smiled at him. “Nerves.” She picked up her sandwich, taking another bite before looking back at the couple, and then to him. He looked so calm. “Cam, are you positive you want to do this?”

“Sweet Tess, are you getting cold feet?” He put his sandwich down and stared at her with uncertain eyes. “You know me better than this. If I wasn’t sure, I’d never have asked. You’ve never doubted me before don’t start now.” He shoved the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth, and looked up at her. “If you’re not going to finish eating, we have another appointment.”

“Appointment?” They had another hour before they had to be at the justice of the peace in the park behind the courthouse. “Where are we going?”

“I told you an appointment.” He took hold of her hand, gently pulling her to her feet. “Come on.” He wrapped his arm around her waist, and tucked her close to his side on their way out of the café.

Unless she imagined it because she longed for it, there was more to his touch than just the friendship he claimed. Oh how she wanted there to be more. He led her down the street towards the shops. “Where…?” Her voice failed, when he stopped in front of a small dress shop.

“Just because it won’t be the wedding of your dreams doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a pretty dress to get married in.” His hand slid down to rest on her hip. “Come on. You deserve it.”

“I can’t…”

“Don’t argue. You can’t be married in jeans. Now come on, we don’t have a lot of time.” He opened the door and ushered her inside.

An older woman, her brown hair greying at the temples, stepped forward. “Mr. White, you’re right on time. I’m Lisa, your personal shopper.”

Cameron offered his hand to Lisa. “Lisa, thank you. This is Tessa, we’re getting married in an hour. Can you help her find the perfect dress?”

Lisa looked Tessa over, taking her in as if she was a stock of meat before nodding. “It doesn’t leave us much time, but we’ll find something suitable. Come along dear.”

“Go ahead. My uniform is at the cleaners down the street. I’m going to go retrieve it and change. I’ll be back shortly.” He kissed her cheek, before turning on his heels and leaving her alone.

She’d never been a girly girl, always one for jeans, and t-shirts or if the weather called for it sweaters. She could count on one hand how many times she wore a dress. Cameron knew this and still he insisted, not as some weird sense of torture but because it was the wedding rituals. He wanted her to have the whole experience even if they were rushed.

* * *

Tessa stood next to the large oak tree, her creamy white dress flowed around her body. Even though she hated dresses, she felt like a princess. One who—in a way—was getting her prince. All her life she had wanted to be in this very place with him. She only wished they were getting married because they loved each other. Still even if for a short while, she would be Mrs. Cameron White, the wife of Gunnery Sergeant White.

He was not only the best Marine she knew—willing to lay his life down for his country without a second thought—but he was also the greatest man to ever touch her life. Look at him—marrying her, no questions asked—to provide her with security. He was her hero.

“With the power vested in me by the state of North Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Her heart leaped, as he leaned towards her. His breath feathered a caress across her mouth and then he kissed her. Adrenaline flooded through her veins, as she opened her lips allowing him entry to her mouth. His tongue slipped between her lips, the kiss devouring her until he suddenly jerked away, as if his control snapped back into place like a rubber band stretched to its limit.

He gave her one final brush to her lips before pulling back. The passion evaporated or maybe she’d only imagined it.  They were married, but he seemed even more unattainable than ever.