Clockwork Countess (4 page)

CHAPTER FOUR

The firelight was dying away, and shadows leaped
across
the gothic wood paneled library as Roderick sat bleakly poking at the embers.  He was a coward to have hidden
from Rowan tonight
, but dear God, what was he supposed to do?

He tossed down the fire iron and stared moodily at the licking flames.  He had known it was a blaste
d foolish idea for Rowan
to come to Heartwycke in the first place, but his mother had insisted, her curiosity so peaked too see the aristocrat’s daughter who had been raised in the
gutter
.  He should have found a way to take Rowan directly to their townhouse in London and arranged some kind of chaperone for her there. 

He would have if he had known....

             
The image of Rowan
standing in the swirling steam at the depot, her fac
e so pale and vulnerable,
the tears brimming in those startling green eyes
had awakened something in him.
He had not expected to feel a wave of protectiveness.  To have the over
whelming desire to take her in
his arms and tell her he would make it all better, no matter how deep her heartache, no matter how wretched things had been. 
How
could he have predicted
he would feel that way
about a woman he had never
met before?

             
And then in the carriage, what on earth had come over him? 

Lust certainly.  A hot burning passion that had swept through him like an inferno.  But there had been more
.  When he
looked into her eyes in the dark swaying carriage, he had seen a friend, felt a kinship, a longing for something he could not name.  It was that unnamed longing, that feeling of utter rightness with her, that had drawn
him to those wonderfully
full
lips of hers and he had almost....

             
Roderick cursed, rising abruptly, and marched to the window, yanking the burgundy velvet drapes open.  Thick flakes of snow were beginning to drift down on the parkland below.  He pressed his forehead to the leaded glass pane. 

             
He had almost ruined her. 

             
And she had come here seeking their protection.  They were supposed to be putting the chit on the damned marriage market when the Season began and he had almost destroyed her only chance of making a decent life for herself. 

             
The sound of the hea
vy door opening
made him turn
.  Rowan stood in the doorway.  S
he didn’t see him almost hidden behind the curtains.  As she d
rew closer to the fire, he
noticed
how pale she was, the strain and sadness written across her face.  Again the inexplicable urge to take her in his arms and run his hands through that glorious mane of bright curls, soothing her, letting
her know he was here, tugged at
him.  He g
ritted his teeth and stepped
from his hiding place. 

             
“Looking for a good book?”  Roderick
did his best to keep his voice light.

             
She started and took a few steps back. “I’m sorry
, I did not mean to disturb you.
”

             
“P
lease, you mustn'
t leave on my account.  I want you to feel at leisure to use every part of the house as your own.”

The bloody tower.  He’d like to tear it down stone by stone!
“Yes, except the tower.”  Roderick
moved t
o her side and inhaled the warm summer
scent of
jasmine and tuberose.
“But the library has many good books that are completely at your disposal.”

             
“You do not think I am a sha
meful bluestockings?” she teased
.

             
Her impish grin made her look like a mischievous pixie and he couldn’t help smiling himself. “At the university there was much talk of ladies and education.  I believe knowledge is something to be shared
by all.”  His smiled dimmed. “A
nd if my brother and I are any example, men are not of such superior mind.”

“But you built that marvelous clockwork gate and taught at Oxford,” she protested. “One can hardly have a passion for science and be such a dullard.”

             
Roderick shook his head, all the pain of his horrible mistake cutting through him anew.  A mistake Rowan mus
t never know of.  “I will not
involve myself in science again.  What is the saying?  ‘A little knowledge is
a
dangerous
thing
?’
I’m afraid I do not have the wisdom that must accompany such intellectual knowledge.”

             
She shook her
head, a frown creasing her
brow.  “But surely if one has such a capaci
ty, one can acquire the wisdom–"

             
Before he co
uld think, he
put a finger to those wonderful
lush lips, to silence her.  Rowan's
eyes went very wide and her warm mouth trembled beneath his touch.

             
He pulled his hand away abruptly and turn
ed to march down the line of
timeworn
leather bound books. “I believe you were searching for something to read?  Perhaps a touch lighter than Mrs. Shelly?”

             
Rowan nodded. 
“Yes, I’m afraid
Frankenstein
will give me nightmares
while I am…
.
” she trailed off, dropping
her eyes
to the floor
.

             
Roderick
gave a tight smile and finished her s
entence
. “Here in this
gloomy fortress of o
urs.”  If only she knew the
tr
uth.
 

He pulled a volume from the shelves and handed it to her.  “Perhaps Miss Alcott, as you enjo
y feminine authors?  I have been told
Little Women
is an excellent American novel.”

             
Rowan accepted the book
, but her
gaze was arrested by
an ancient looking tome,
The Complete Works of Shakespeare.
 
That sad
,
vulnerable look came into her eyes once more as she reached up to run her hand lovingly along the book’s spine.

             
She was thinking of her father. 

Roderick came to her side. “I saw him perform once, you know.  It was Macbeth.  He was in the title role, of course.  I was quite captivated by his performance.”

             
Her lips began to tremble and fat tears slipped down her cheeks as Rowan turned to him, her nake
d heartbreak written across her face
.  “I miss him…” she pressed her hand to lips and gulped down a sob, ‘I miss him so dreadfully.”
             

             
Before he realize what he was doing
,
R
oderick pulled her into his embrace
, tucking her head against his broad shoulder, cradling her close against him, his lips pressed to her copper tresses, as he murmured
, “It will pass in time.  You will
always love him, always remember, but the pain will pass.” 

             
The sound of his gentle tones seemed to release something in her.  She let out a long wracking sob and her chest began to heave, her back shuddering beneath his comforting hands.  He just held her as she cried.  Letting her know she was safe, he was there, she was not alone. 

When her sobs had subsided, she broke away, looking up at him with flushed cheeks, the tears still clinging to her lashes.  “Forgive me,” she said
,
“I...I can not imagine what I was thinking.” 

Rowan took another step back towards the door as she wiped away a stray tear with the back of her hand.  “I should retire for the night.”

             
Of course she was right.  He should let her go.  “Here, you forgot your book.”  He held out t
he novel and she stepped hesitantly
forward to accept it. 

             
Pulling h
is handkerchief from his pocket
, he tenderly wiped her tearstained face and brushed a stray curl
behind her ear, then reluctantly
let his hand fall to his side.  She was standing so close, her eyes burning emerald green after the storm of tears, her full breast
s
still heaving slightly in the exposing evening gown. 

The air changed around them, he could feel it like a magnet’s pull.  Desire welled in
her eyes now instead of tears.  She bit her succulent lower
lip
.  T
he fire popped a rain of sp
arks as he reached out for her and a
gain that
inevitable
draw which
had
brought
them together in the
carriage
worked its sensual magic,
his
hands closing around her waist
as Rowan
melted against him.
Little Women
slipped from her fingers and fell unheeded onto the soft Turkish carpet.

H
er lips parted, her straining breasts pressing against his
chest and
Roderick claimed her with a kiss as searing as a brand, filling her with his heat, this unbidden desire that washed through him like a tide of fire.  Her response was as raw and passionate as his own, her lips and tongue melting in the heat with him. 

The
intoxicating
scent of her
jasmine and rose perfume
,
and feel of her velvet tongue against his
, sent him into oblivion.  H
e ra
n his hand up her waist until his fingers
reached the generous swell of her breast, cupping it, squeezing it, running his thumbs urgently
across
the peak of flesh rising agai
n
s
t the silk of her gown. 

Rowan moaned at his
caress
and he yanked down the sleeves of her bodice, exposing her
tender
nipple to his touch, to his tongue. Some part of his brain was telling him to stop, but the sight of her, with her head fallen back, eyes pressed closed in a delirium of desire, her red lips swollen from his kisses, her flushed naked breasts rising and falling with her ragged breaths…
.

By God, it was too much! 
His hungry mouth closed around
her breast, taking in her tau
t rosy flesh, sucking long luxurious pulls, and running his tongue, his teeth against her as she gasped and shivered in pleasure.  He wanted her, to protect and keep her, to make her his, damn the consequences!

             
She ran her hands through
his thick hair, and he looked down
into her face, the passion flaming in her eyes mirroring his own.  He pushed her roughly against the bookshelves
,
pressing her between the old leather volumes and his own hard body.  She clung to his shoulders, her nails digging into his flesh as he sampled the tender skin of her pulse point just below her ear.

Before claiming her mouth with a hot all consuming kiss, he whispered into her copper curls,
“
You’ve bewitched me...I’m drunk on my desire for you.
”

She moaned in response as his leg pressed between her petticoats
and she could feel his hard thigh nudging her aching sex
. 

             
He
yanked
up her skirts and Rowan gasped as he ran his palms
up the back of her thighs.  He could feel the little tremors of her passion as his fingers t
raveled the sensitive skin before
thrusting his hand boldly in her b
loomers to cup her generous flesh
in his hands.

             
She
sucked in her breath
at the intimate touch and he felt himself rock hard against her thighs through the layers of silk and petticoats.  He
kneaded
her bare buttocks
w
ith his palms, grasping her tight
again
st him, his lips grazed at her swelling
breasts, her neck
,
and once more he was drunk on her kiss, a long straining joining together in the heat of his mouth on hers, his hands on her bare skin pulling her up against his hard cock.  He was losing control… the feel of her soft derrière in his hands, the sound of her gasping breaths and the wanton manner in which she was pressing
her
body against the
length of his throbbing flesh...
.

             
It was too much. 

             
Rowan gave a moan of pleasure as he
tugged her bloomers down
beneath the petticoats and hoisted her skirt up above her waist.  She writhed in the firelight against the rows of books, her glorious red hair falling in waves across her naked breasts, her white thighs and bare sex exposed to his hungry eyes. 

             
She threw back her head, whispering,  “Yes… please…please
touch me,
Roderick!”

             
The booming chimes of the great mahogany clock in the hall sounding the midnight rounds echoed through house.  Even through the thick library doors, the toll of the bell sounded a grim warning, awakening his bewitched senses. 

             
What was he doing?

             
He thrust her away from him.  His breath coming in ragged
bursts
, as he looked at her in horror.  “We cannot do this!” 

             
She
blinked up at him
in confusion, her dilated eye s
till drugged by desire, 

“But–"

             
“No!”  He shook his head violently. 
“
Neither of us can leave this cursed place but I will do my b
est to stay clear of you, Rowan!  For your own sake, believe me!
” 

             
“But I want to,” she whispered, reaching out her soft rounded arms to him.  “I don’t care about a proper marriage to some
popinjay of the
ton
.  I want this…I want–"

             
He grasped her by the shoulders and held her firmly at arm’s length.  “You and I can never be, Rowan.  Never.”

             
She stared back at h
im uncomprehending for a moment.  He saw the flash of bewilderment,
pain
,
then a
disillusioned sadness dulled
her eyes before
Rowan wrenched out of his grasp.  She
began slowly pulling
her
gown back into place and gathered
a
few locks of hair
into a loose knot
. 
             

             
When Rowan f
inally turned
once more to him, she bore an expression
of such bitterness, he nearly pul
led her back into his embrace.

But he would not destroy her
and that was all that could happen if they continued.  Roderick forced his expression to remain impassive and met her hurt, accusing eyes with a level stare. 

             
Rowan
bit her lip and nodded.  “I suppose
there is nothing more to be said.”  With the dazed look of a sleepwalker, she turned and walked out of the room.  The door softly clicked shut behind her. 

             
Roderick stared at the
door.  The vaulted library seemed darker, colder now that she was gone.  If only the secret that bound him irrevocably to
Heartwycke
could finally be revealed
and set him free to live and love as other men could
.