Close Up: Exposure Book Three (9 page)

I nodded my head. “That’s when he started to work for your father, right?”

“Yes,” he said. “That’s right. Suddenly, there was money for groceries and for paying the light bill. Before Anton started working for my father, we generally went for weeks without any electricity at all, just because there wasn’t money to pay it. I tried to find jobs to help out, but there weren’t any. When Anton started to bring in money, we were just grateful, and none of us even tried to question where this money was coming from. Looking back, I think that we probably should have.”

I was quiet, letting him talk. It seemed that he had a lot on his mind. It was vaguely disturbing that he wasn’t addressing my original concern about Sophie, but, at the same time, I knew that he was eventually going to get to it.

He took another sip of his drink. “I’m so sorry, CJ, I’m being rude. Can I get you anything?”

It seemed that he was becoming more himself, so I felt cheered by the offer. “No, Asher, I’m good.”

Nonetheless, he got up, still totally naked, and prepared a pitcher of water and brought it to the table between us. He also had a glass in his hand. He poured some water for me, and I sipped it politely.

He shook his head at the memory. “We should’ve questioned it. Especially my mother. I still think that she knew what our father did, although that’s far from established. But, assuming that she did know, she probably should have wondered where Anton was suddenly getting all this money. He said that he had a job at a factory, but, generally, those jobs didn’t pay that much. I wish that she would’ve told me more about my father, too, when I used to ask her questions about him. Then maybe I could have been more prepared when I finally did meet him.”

I still listened, wondering where this was all going. It was absorbing and interesting, but I really wanted to know about Sophie.

He finally sighed. “CJ, you will find out the truth all in good time. In the meantime, please, just trust me. I would never do anything to hurt you. And I would never do anything deliberately stupid, either. You may take those words as you will. All that I ask is that you reserve judgment until I know that you’ll be safe from Sophie. Once that happens, I’ll tell you everything.”

I nodded my head. I guessed that these words would be all I would be getting as far as explanation for why Asher wouldn’t use protection with Sophie. I read between the lines, though, and surmised that my hunch about him and Sophie was probably true. He probably slept with her so that he could find out information about me, and that was noble of him.

I just wished that he hadn’t slept with her at all. That woman made my skin crawl, and I hadn’t even met her.

T
he next day
or so was a whirlwind. Asher was busy getting the preparations in order so that we could leave for London that week. He called a guy he knew that prepared fake passports, and he was on the phone with his father, explaining what was about to happen.

I felt just a tad bit of whiplash about it all, considering that I hadn’t ever been overseas. I did feel just a tad bit better, though, because my magazine was thrilled that I was going overseas. As Asher had said, they did have an assignment for me in London – they were planning a story about London’s underground punk scene, and wanted me to do the photo spread for the story.

I told Scarlett of my plans, not telling her why I was taking the trip to London. Instead, I just said that I was doing a photojournalism assignment over there, and that Asher was coming along to scout out some new prospects. She bought that story, and told me to have a good time.

Everything was moving along for our trip. But something happened to delay us. And this was something that was completely unexpected.

A
sher
and I were almost ready to take our trip to London when Stella called. Of all people. I eagerly picked up the phone, excited that she would be calling me. I had despaired that she and my mom would ever accept me back into the family again. I knew that they hadn’t spoken to me since Nathaniel had died, and that last meeting with them didn’t exactly go well, to say the very least.

So, when Stella called, I was more than happy to talk to her.

“CJ,” she said breathlessly. “I’m so happy I could get ahold of you.”

“What’s going on?” I looked over at Asher, who had a look of concern on his face. I knew that he was anxious to get out of the country, and anything that delayed us would be something that wouldn’t sit well with him.

“It’s mom. She’s in the hospital.”

I felt alarmed. “What? Why? When? What happened?”

“I’ll tell you when you get here,” she said, giving me the name of the hospital. “And there’s something else that you need to know, too.”

“What’s that?”

“I can’t tell you over the phone. It’s literally too shocking, even for me.”

I wondered what she was talking about. What would be too shocking for Stella? She was never shocked about anything.

My mind started racing. “Stella, tell me something now. What happened? What’s wrong? You’re going to drive me crazy.”

“CJ, I can’t go into it right now. I just need you to come to the hospital. I just can’t talk about it all right now. I’m still kind of stunned.”

I hung up the phone after saying goodbye, and I looked over at Asher. “I can’t go right now. There’s something wrong with my mother, and Stella was being totally weird over the phone. I’m so sorry.”

Asher shook his head. “CJ, I know that you’re excited to be included in a family crisis. Well, maybe excited is the wrong word, but I think that you get my gist. But we can’t delay this trip. I don’t trust Sophie at all these days. She might have something diabolical up her sleeve, even as we speak, and CJ, you aren’t safe right now in this city. Please reconsider.”

I shook my head. “No, Asher, I need to go down there right now. There’s something afoot that I’m not liking. And, you’re right – I
am
excited to be included in this crisis. You don’t know how much my family means to me, and just the fact that Stella is calling me to meet her and mom tells me that things just might turn a corner in our relationship.”

“CJ…”

“I’m going, Asher, whether you come along or not.” I put my hands on my hips for emphasis. “Now, are you coming?”

He looked like he was pissed, but he saw how serious I was, so he relented. “Okay. But we need to be on the plane as soon as you find out that your mother is out of the woods. Is that understood? We go down to the hospital, see how your mother is, and then we prepare to leave. That’s the only compromise that I’m willing to make.”

I took a deep breath, not wanting to go along with his “compromise.” It didn’t sound like much of a compromise to me. If there was something seriously wrong with mom, then I might have to stick around longer.

Nevertheless, I knew how serious Asher was about us getting the hell out of Dodge, so I just said “okay.”

A hint of a smile played on his face, and he called his limo driver to come and pick us up. Then, when he got off the phone, he thought better of it. “The hospital’s in Brooklyn, let’s take the Tesla.” He then called his limo driver and told him not to come, and then he got his keys. “Let’s go.”

At that, we went to his car and took off.

T
he car was purring
along The Brooklyn Bridge, with

Asher and me sitting in strained silence. He wasn’t happy about this change in plans. I knew this. But I also knew that Stella calling me was momentous to me, and it seemed to be an ideal time to get back into the family’s graces. When I found out that they wouldn’t speak to me because of Nathaniel, I thought that I would never be welcomed into the family again. But it seemed that I had a second chance, and it felt wonderful.

I also was intensely curious about what Stella was talking about on the phone. What was that mysterious “other thing” that she was referring to?

My mind was turning, over and over, trying to figure it all out.

We finally got to the hospital, where Stella was sitting in the waiting room, a cup of coffee in her hand. There were about fifty other people in the waiting room, most of them looking bored. Fox News was on the television, and there was some story about yet another cop shooting.

She saw me come in, and rose to her feet awkwardly. She stood there, unsure how to greet me.

I finally put my arms out, and she came to me and allowed me to envelope her in a hug. I found that I had tears in my eyes as Stella and I embraced there in the waiting room. I looked over at Asher, whose expression told me that this meeting with Stella was almost worth the risk. He looked pleased and proud, and he nodded his head while Stella and I continued to embrace one another.

“Oh, CJ,” she said. “I’ve missed you so much. I was so angry with you about Nathaniel, but, after tonight, I think that it’s time for us to bury the hatchet and become family again. Like we’re supposed to be. Life is too damned short for anything else.”

I smiled, unable to say anything through my sudden tears. I was so happy that Stella was treating me like a sister that I didn’t even think to become alarmed about what else she was saying.

Then it finally struck me. “I’m so happy that you and I are going to be family again, Stella, but what did you mean just now? About finding out that life is too short and all of that?” I felt my alarm bells crescendoing in my ears when I saw the look on her face.

“Sit down,” she said to me.

I sat down, and Asher sat down next to me. He took my hand, and gripped it tightly.

She took a deep breath. “I guess you haven’t been following the news for the past hour or so, huh?”

I felt even more alarmed when she said that. “No, why? Why?” I felt my heart start to pound. It sounded bad. Why would my mom be on the news?

Stella hung her head. “There was a robbery. Mom was an innocent bystander. She got caught in the crossfire, CJ.” She started to cry. “She was shot in the chest. She lost a lot of blood, and…” Then she started to shake her head. “They don’t know, CJ. The doctors have been giving me updates, but it doesn’t look good.”

I started to shake.
No. This can’t be. I never got a chance to make things right with her.
I thought back to my last encounter with her, and how I had stormed off with Asher in tow. I had assumed that I would have a chance to try to come back and be a daughter to her again.

Would I ever get that chance?

I realized that I was crying hysterically, and Asher had his arm around me. He pulled me to his chest, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and bawled. Stella was on the other side of me, and she, too, put her arm around my back. “CJ, she’s not dead. She’s in surgery. There’s a 20% chance that she’ll pull through, according to the doctors. Those aren’t great odds, but she’s a tough bird. You know she is. Look at all that she’s survived so far.”

I looked at Stella. “Twenty percent? Oh my God.” I hung my head, and realized that my hand was shaking. “Oh, please, please, please, not my mother.” I was addressing God, I guessed, or whoever happened to be out there. “Please, no.”

Then I saw Stella looking over at Asher with pleading eyes. He looked like he had no idea what she was trying to convey.

Finally, Stella said “and there’s more, CJ.”

“More? What do you mean, more?”

She hesitated for a long, long time and then finally said “your father is here.”

“
M
y father
?” I was astounded. I had never even met the man. Ever. “I don’t understand. Why is he here?”

Stella sighed. “He heard the news, and came on down. I guess that he never really got over mom, so, when he found out she was shot, he came here to find out what was going on.”

I was feeling confused. “How did he know to talk to you? He doesn’t know either of us, does he?”

“It’s the weirdest thing. He saw me, and he instantly knew that I was her daughter. I guess we look more alike than I knew. He introduced himself, and we got to talking. I asked when he and mom were together, and apparently they were pretty serious about the same time you would have been conceived. They broke up soon after.”

“I still don’t understand. I thought dad was a rando or something like that. He and mom were serious? Why would she keep him from me?”

“You know how she is. Once she’s done with a guy, she’s done with him. Clifford was the one exception. She’s still trying to get him back.” She looked sad. “Or, at least, she was.”

“Oh, come on, Stella, don’t talk like that. She’s going to pull through. I just know it.” I wished that I was as confident as I sounded, but I just wasn’t.

“I know.” She sighed. “Anyhow, your father is over there.” She pointed to a section of the waiting room that was filled with people. Then she pointed directly to a man who was sitting in a chair. He was dressed in a plaid shirt, blue jeans and had a baseball cap on his head. He had a cup of coffee in his hand that he seemed to be studying intently.

I looked at Asher, who smiled at me encouragingly. “Go on over there,” he said. “I know how you feel, meeting your father for the first time. It’s scary, but hopefully it will turn out better for you than it did for me.”

I had to smile at that. Asher really meant that he hoped that my father wouldn’t be a sex trader, drug dealer and money launderer like his father. I supposed that my father would probably be considered dad of the year next to Asher’s.

I shook my head. “No. I mean, he abandoned me, didn’t he? He’s not worthy of my going over there and saying hello.”

Stella put her arm around me. “CJ, I don’t think that he knew about you. From what he said, he and mom broke up soon after you would have been conceived. Then he moved away to California. So, how would he have known about you? If he wasn’t in your life, it wasn’t his fault. Go over there, CJ, and talk to him.”

I bit my lip. What did I have to lose?

I tentatively walked over to the man. I looked back, and Asher was looking at me with an encouraging smile on my face. Still, I felt like a fool. A fool who was absolutely bracing herself for rejection.

I managed to find a seat close to where he was. He smelled of cigarette smoke and alcohol. He had a three-day stubble on his face. But, he didn’t seem to be bad-looking. He looked to be about mom’s age – fortyish. But he was much more weathered than mom, like he spent a lifetime outdoors.

I cleared my throat and he looked up. I saw that his eyes were my eyes, really – the same color of deep blue. I blinked and held out my hand. “Hello,” I said, suddenly realizing that Stella didn’t bother to tell me this man’s name. “My name is CJ. I’m Gianna Parker’s daughter.”

He looked at me, and narrowed his eyes. “Name’s Clint,” he said. “Good to meet you.” He shook my hand and smiled. “You look…” And then he shook his head. My mother was Italian and had black hair, deep brown eyes and olive skin. I had pale skin, blue eyes and black hair. I didn’t think that I looked much like her, but, in looking at this man, I could definitely see the resemblance between him and me.

I took another deep breath. “Uh, Clint, I think…” I couldn’t finish that sentence. I suddenly felt self-conscious and ridiculous.

“How old are you?”

I bit my lip. “I’m 25. I just turned 25.” I then saw his face change.

He cocked his head slightly. “25.” I knew that he realized what all this meant. I could see it in his face. Yet he didn’t say anything to me about it.

I finally just blurted it out. “I think that you’re my father.” Then I immediately felt embarrassed about saying that to him. “I mean, well, the dates match up. And we have the same eyes.” I felt desperate, or, at least, I was afraid that he would think me desperate. “Say something, please,” I said after a few minutes of him just staring at me.

He shook his head. “What is there to say? I can see that you clearly are my kid, but what does that matter now? Your mother didn’t want us to know about each other, obviously.” Then he looked angry. “I can’t believe she would do something like this. I knew there was something up when she dumped me. Goddamn Gianna. Goddamn her.”

I felt weird, to say the very least. My mother was in surgery, and it was touch and go, and this man was “goddamning” her. I couldn’t help but feel superstitious about that. I involuntarily made the sign of the cross and bowed my head. “He didn’t mean it, God, really.”

He got up and started to pace the floor. “I know why she kept you from me. She didn’t want you associating with a worthless bum. I wasn’t good enough to be in her child’s life, that’s what.”

“Clint, I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said anything to you. It was just that, well, Stella said that you were here, and I never knew my father. I always wanted to, though. I always wanted a father in my life. Always. And now, here you are.” I smiled, but I knew that my speech was falling on deaf ears. Clint clearly wanted nothing to do with me, and I felt rejected.

Truthfully, I felt more rejected at that point than I ever did by this man. Growing up, I imagined that my father didn’t willfully abandon me. I was right about that, too, if Clint’s story was correct. But now that he knew about me, if he decided to walk away, it would be an active abandonment. That seemed so much worse, for some reason.

I blinked back tears. This actually wasn’t what I had envisioned. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I was supposed to meet my father, and he was supposed to embrace me with open arms. Tell me that he was so happy to have found me, and we were supposed to establish an amazing relationship from that point on.

His face softened. “Hey, I’m sorry. You took me by surprise, that’s all. I just came down here because I saw on the news that your mother was involved in a robbery. I mean, not involved, but was a bystander who was caught in the crossfire.” He shook his head. “I never did get over her.”

It suddenly dawned on me what was supposed to happen here. “Clint, you know, my mother is single right now.”

I then saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “You know, you always remember the one that got away. Gianna was that for me. The one who got away. But it was my fault, too. I was involved in sleazy things back then. Got caught up in some drug-running in San Diego. Served time. I wouldn’t have been a good dad.”

I took a deep breath. “Do you think you might be one now?”

He smiled a genuine smile. “I reckon so. Much better than I would have been then. I’ve grown up so much since then. Prison can do one of two things for a man – it either breaks him or it makes him turn his life around. I chose for it to be good for me. I don’t have much, really, and I’m gone a lot, working on an offshore oil rig. But…”

I nodded my head. The words were unspoken. I knew that he would try to win back my mother, now that fate had brought him down here. And I was holding my breath that maybe, just maybe, I might have a father.

I couldn’t get ahead of myself, but I was thinking how amazing that would be if my father and my mother ended up together. A smile formed on my lips as I imagined me being a part of the intact family that I had always wanted and craved in my life.

“Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said. I suddenly felt extremely shy. “Maybe things will work out.” I tried to tell myself that they would, but first that would mean that my mother would have to beat the odds and make it through surgery. At that moment, that was really all that I wanted.

“Maybe.” Then he got up. “I hope you’ll excuse me, CJ, but I have to step out for a smoke.” He then smiled ruefully. “Yes, I still smoke cancer sticks. One of a dying breed.”

At that, he walked out of the hospital.

Asher was immediately over to where I was, sitting right next to me. “How did it go?” he asked me. He seemed almost anxious to find out.

“It was nice.” I didn’t want to tell Asher that I wanted to see Clint with my mother, and that I was already dreaming of the three of us being a family, plus Stella. It was too bad that she didn’t know her father, anymore than I knew mine up until today. I suddenly felt badly for her. Before, she and I had the fatherless thing in common. Now that my father was on the scene, would that change? Would she be jealous of me?

Asher was smiling broadly. “I hope you can establish a relationship with him, CJ. I really do.”

I simply smiled and said nothing. I didn’t want to give voice to my hopes, because, if I did, and they were dashed, than I would feel pathetic and pitied. That was the last thing that I wanted.

A
bout six hours later
, right when Stella, Asher and I were about to go stir-crazy there in the waiting room, the surgeon came out to talk to us. Clint was still around, too, but he had chosen to go to a different part of the waiting room. I felt slightly hurt, but I gave him his space. I didn’t want to seem too eager.

I read the surgeon’s face, and I saw good news. He was smiling. “Are you the family of Gianna Parker?” he asked Stella and me.

“We are,” Stella said. “How is she?”

“She made it through surgery. She’s resting comfortably in the ICU, but she has an excellent chance of a full recovery.”

Stella smiled, and she and I hugged tightly. “I knew it, I knew it,” I said. “Mom’s a tough old bird.”

“She’d kill you if she heard you call her old,” Stella said with laughter.

“True that.”

I really wanted to go in and see her, of course, but I knew that I shouldn’t disturb her. I also knew that the nurses and doctors probably wouldn’t let me see her anyhow. But I was antsy and anxious. I came so close to losing her, and there was nothing that I wanted to do more than try to make amends for everything that happened. And I wanted to get right on that.

Asher was sitting right next to me, his hand tightly gripping mine. He looked at me meaningfully, but I shook my head. “Not now, please? I need to see her. I need to know that she doesn’t hate me anymore. I was so afraid that I would lose her, so it’s just important to me that she and I bury the hatchet. Life is so fleeting, and if something happened to her, I would always live with regret. I don’t want that. Please, Asher, let me see her before we leave?”

Asher sighed, but he nodded his head. “Of course, of course. I just think that it might be days before you actually might get to talk to her. She’s sedated, of course, and she’s recovering. I just don’t want to delay our trip more than is necessary.”

I felt annoyed. He had to understand that I needed to see my mother now. But, it was clear from his face that he didn’t necessarily understand that fact.

“Well, why don’t you just go without me, and I’ll catch up to you in London?”

Asher blinked his eyes, and shook his head. “No. We’ll stay in town until your mother is coherent enough to talk to you. I won’t take that away from you.”

Stella was watching the two of us with interest, but she didn’t ask what was going on. This surprised me, because Stella was normally so nosy.

The doctor came back out. “Do you have any questions for me?”

“Yes,” I said. “When can we see her?”

“She’ll be resting probably until tomorrow morning. You can certainly come in and see her then.”

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll definitely come back then.” I then looked at Asher. “Is that okay? We’ll come here and see her tomorrow morning, and then we can head out?”

Asher nodded his head and said nothing.

I took his hand and the both of us stood up. “Stella, it’s late. Can we meet up here tomorrow morning and see mom together?”

“Sure,” she said, still looking at the two of us with suspicion. I knew that her mind was cooking up what Asher and I were planning, but it was obvious that she didn’t quite understand exactly what that was. She was probably going nuts.

I then went over to Clint, and the two of us said our goodbyes, and we arranged to meet up the next day. Then Asher and I headed out the door of the hospital.