Close Your Eyes (13 page)

‘Don’t…’
she
said weakly, her words trailing off as
Matt’s
fingers
slowly and hesitantly
brush
ed
against her cheek.
His touch
left behind a trace of fire
that burned her skin
. Her dazed brain
puzzled as it
struggled to
register
her emotions. Her
whole body
was
committing an act of treason of gigantic proportions.

We’ve
touched before,
she thought desperately,
more than once.
It
had been
unavoidable
.
W
ith him and Ry
an
being so close,
she’d come to
accept and enjoy
Matt’s presence
over the years.

This… this
is
different.
Her
thoughts of
Ry
an
were
pushed aside, almost forgotten
,
by her whole body
as
it
recognized
Matt
and responded to him in a way she couldn’t have predicted.

‘I remember how I wished I was older, better looking
,
and
more like
Ry
,
too.’ H
e kept talking, his fingers curling under her chin and lifting her face to his penetrating gaze.
His
grip
wasn’t forceful,
by any means. If she really wanted to, she could have stepped back and
broken
the spell. But she didn’t want to
. H
is words
fell
on her ears
, and
she soaked them up like parched earth absorbing heavy drops of long
-
awaited rain.

‘I wondered how things would
have
turn
ed
out if I
’d been
the older one, you know?’
H
is thumb journey
ed
slowly across her cheek
,
towards her lips.
‘If it was me who sat with you at school instead of being
the
little screamer who
was
sent to have some ice
cream.
Would you
have
like
d
me better? Or would it still be
Ry
?’

They looked at each other in silence
.
Meg
’s
heart beat
so
loud
ly
and frantically
that
she worried he could hear it.

I have
to tell him to drop it
.
E
ach millisecond that passed without her resistance
was
a betrayal of her love for Ry
an
.
Because
I love
him,
don’t I
?
He was always the only one she
’d
hoped to spend her life with
. H
e was
the
center of
her
universe
and her personal sun
, too blinding and compelling to
allow her to
even consider a different path for herself.
Could
I
ever see
Matt
in the same light
as Ryan
?
Is
there even a chance
to
look at
anyone else
with
Ry
at my
side?

Matt
must have read her face correctly, because his fingers
slid down her cheek
in
a final fleeting caress before he stepped back,
and the
space he put between
them
was
definite.

‘I’m sorry
. T
hat was inexcusable of me
.
’
He
shook his blond head, his eyes
repentant
.

Once again,
Megan thought
of Henry
Harper
. Matt’s
calm, apologetic
expression carefully
blott
ed
out any traces of the emotions that
had
raged in his
eyes only
seconds ago.
Maybe everyone in their house
is
born with this perfect ability to control
their
emotions
,
she speculated, recalling that
Ry
an
had it
,
as wel
l.
His
same distant politeness
had driven
her crazy
on
more than one occasion.

I
should be grat
eful for his tactful withdrawal.
It
had
saved her any
embarrassment
.
However, she was
annoyed with the sense of disappointment that refused to be silenced.
She wondered what she had expected.
That he would pull her closer and kiss her, if only to put his rhetorical
questions
to
the
test
in real life
? She was absolutely mad to even think of it
. His
words
left
her a safe exit without
creating a bad memory that
they would both
have to
forget
.

‘I’m really sorry,
Meg
,
’
he
repeated, visibly worried
by
her silence.

H
e
probably
thought
she
disapproved and
was
angry
and unable to ignore
his untimely confession.
She couldn’t afford a mistake now.
She had to make him believe that
this
was exactly what she felt
.
H
er own
feverish
thoughts
were
already
such a mess
without
having to deal with him seeing her for what she really was.
Because she knew exactly what she was, whether she liked it or not. She had realized it in
that
horrid moment when she
had
hesitated and let him talk. If
she
were
so confident and certain of her love for Ry
an
,
it would
never have
happened. But she
had
hesitate
d
. A
forbidden
,
blurry image
had risen
before the eyes of her soul. In this picture
,
Matt
’s arm
was
around her, not Ry
an
’s. It was his face bending down to hers as she waited, eager to feel the pressure of his lips against hers. She was so embarrassed and angry with herself
that
she could have cried.
But she didn’t
.

It was important to leave the incident on the only good terms possible
.
Which meant playing it down and putting their relationship on the right track.
So
she smiled at
Matt
,
exuding
fake cheerfulness. She could only hope he
wouldn’t
see through it.

‘
It’s
okay
,
Matt
. I guess I
’
m not the only one who had a bit too much of
that
warming agent in my tea. Though
,
I would have thought that with all
the
practice you
’ve
had over the years, you
would
handle it better, my friend.’