Closing Time (10 page)

Scarlet glared at him.

“We aren’t going either,” Mike said.

“So…it’ll just be me, Ryan, and Flynn?”

“Sean is going,” Scarlet said firmly.

“No,” Sean snapped. “I’m not leaving my pregnant wife when she’s nearly in her seventh month. Forget it.”

“Mike will be right down the street,” Scarlet argued. “If I need him, he’s a second away.”

“I’ll watch her,” Mike said. “She can stay with us too.”

Sean didn’t look at him. “If I have to go, why doesn’t Mike? How about Mike goes and I stay here?”

“Because my wife is about to go into labor, you damn idiot,” Mike snapped.

Sean still ignored him. “I’m not going. You can’t make me.”

“Sean,” she said firmly. “This is my brother’s bachelor party. It would mean a lot if you were there.”

“You’re the best man and you aren’t even going,” Sean snapped.

“Which is why you need to go for the both of us,” she argued.

“No.” His eyes furrowed in annoyance. “Forget it.”

“Sean.” She gave him the death stare. “I’m just going to sit around and eat ice cream all day. It’ll be boring and uneventful.”

“And what if you fall?”

She growled. “I’m not paralyzed!”

They continued to bicker back and forth.

“You would think we’d get used to this,” I said as I looked at Mike.

“It’s even worse when they bitch at each other at work,” he said while he rubbed the back of Cassandra’s neck.

I watched Cassandra’s face, noting the small beads of sweat and her obvious discomfort. “Is she doing okay?” I whispered.

“She’s fine. She’s just tired.”

She looked more than just tired. Seeing their tenderness made me imagine Monnique round with my child. I wasn’t sure how many kids I wanted, but right now, I wanted five. Maybe more.

We discussed his bachelor party and picked the weekend when we would go
. It would be a relaxing trip on the lake, just drinking and fishing. It sounded pretty nice, but I felt bad for the argument Sean and Scarlet were having. I understood Sean’s point of view, but I also understood hers. Hopefully, they would resolve it. And when the rest of us weren’t around.

7

Mike

I did whatever I could to make my wife comfortable, but there was nothing I could do at this point. She was big and round, constantly hot, her back hurt, and she couldn’t sleep so she was tired all day.
She was short with me but I let it go. No reason to get her more upset.

“Is there something I can do?” I asked while I pulled a strand of hair from her face.

“Would you judge me if I asked for ice cream?”

Her cuteness made me smile. “Not at all.”

“Then I’d like some ice cream.”

“Okay. How about a milkshake instead?”

“Even better.”

I left the couch then entered the kitchen. “I’ll make it right now.” Hopefully the treat would cool her down and make her happy for a few minutes. I wondered if Sean was going through the same thing with Scarlet.

After I gave it to her, she downed it in two minutes.

“That was so good,” she said.

“Do you want another one?”

“No. But I’m still hot.”

“How about we take a cold bath together?”

“That would be nice.”

After I set up the bath in our master bedroom, I picked her up and carried her upstairs. She weighed a lot more than she used to but it wasn’t something I couldn’t handle. I carefully helped her get into the tub then I moved behind her, her back to my chest.

I grabbed a sponge then lathered her in soap. She leaned her head against my chest while I massaged her, trying to get her to relax. My cock hardened and pressed against her backside, but that was out of my control. I couldn’t lay naked with my wife and not be aroused. That was impossible.

“I can’t believe I have to go through this for a few more weeks,” she said with a sigh.

“It’ll be over before you know it.”

“I just want our baby to get here already.”

“Then the real fun can begin.”

She rubbed my thigh. “But I guess I won’t be getting any sleep at the time anyway. I’ll be too busy feeding, waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of its cries, and changing it.” She took a deep breath. “I just want to sleep for a full night without waking up for once.”

“Baby, I’ll be here when the baby comes home. You’ll get plenty of sleep.”

“You need to go back to work.”

“I’ll be home with you for a month or so. You won’t do this alone.”

“Really? Because I’m scared…I don’t know anything about babies.”

I was scared to
o but I would never admit it. I needed to be strong and confident for her. “We’ll be fine, baby. And I want to be here. It’s much better than running a company.”

“But Scarlet is pretty far along. Sean will want to stay home with her.”

“He and I will figure that out. Don’t worry about it.”

“I feel like I’m being selfish,” she said.

“You are. But that’s perfectly okay.” I kissed her head.

Her fingers trickled down my thigh while she leaned against me. “I want you to go
to Ryan’s bachelor party.”

“I can’t.”

“Mike, it’s important. He needs his guys there.”

“Cortland wasn’t at mine and I was fine.”

“I’m sure I’ll be okay. I’ll just sit on the couch all day.”

“No,” I snapped. My
voice carried more anger than it meant to. “You’re in no condition to be alone. You could go into labor at any moment. I’m not leaving. That’s final. Don’t even think about arguing with me about this.”

She didn’t.

Smart choice.

After I dried her off, I helped her to bed. She
could only lay on her side eventhough she preferred laying on her back, so that made it even more difficult to sleep. Even though the air was on full blast, it was too hot for her so she took the comforter and blanket off the bed. Now she just slept in the sheets. I didn’t like the temperature but I didn’t complain.

She lay on her side and I rubbed her back, trying to get
her to fall asleep. Half an hour later, her breathing evened out and I knew she was gone. I didn’t bother trying to make love because I knew she was extremely uncomfortable. Other than not feeling sexy, she just had no sex drive. I’d put up with it until the baby got there. While I wanted to get laid, I wouldn’t make her do something against her will.

I fel
l asleep at some point then immediately fell into my dreams.

“Push, Cassandra,” the doctor said.

I held her hand while she pushed our baby out. After trying for several minutes, our son came into the doctor’s hands.

“He’s here,” the doctor said as he handed him to the nurse. He was crying and shrieking, missing the warmth of his mother’s womb. They dried him off then handed him to Cassandra.

She was covered in sweat and looked exhausted, but the joy on her face when he was in her arms erased the past. She stared at him fondly, and as soon as he looked at her, he stopped crying.

I stared at my family, unable to believe how happy I was. It was a dream come true.

“Mike, hold your son,” Cassandra said.

I swallowed the lump in my throat then extended my hands. She placed the small lump into my arms, and as soon as I felt him, I felt the joy spread in my veins. Andrew was perfect. I could see Cassandra’s eyes in his.

He suddenly became too heavy. He slipped from my arms, and I tried to stop it. An invisible pull was yanking him down. No matter how hard I tried to keep him steady, he still slipped.

And he fell on the floor.

Cassandra covered her face and shrieked. “How could you?”

My son cried while he lay on the floor. Panicked, I picked him up but he slipped from my fingers. No matter what I did, he wouldn’t stick. The tears burned in my eyes when I stepped back and let the doctor get him.

“And you call yourself a father,” the doctor said with disdain. “I’m calling social services. You can’t handle a child.”

“No.” Cassandra tried to sit up in bed but the nurse held her back. “Give me my son.”

The doctor walked out, leaving me alone, in tears.

Cassandra gave me a venomous look. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I…I’m sorry. I tried…”

“You tried?” The hatred seeped form her pores. “You’re the worst father in the world.”

The insult stung. I felt
more tears fall.

“I want a divorce.” She turned to the nurse. “Get him out of here. He’s no family of mine.”

“It was an accident. I’m sorry.”

“Get away from me and never speak to me again.”

“But you’re my family…”

“Not anymore.”

The dream drifted away, and I sat up in bed, covered in sweat. I was breathing hard, and I clutched my chest, feeling my heart flutter a million miles an hour.

I had similar dreams all week.
I either dropped my baby, got into a car accident and killed him, left him at the grocery store, or accidentally drowned him in the tub.

I wasn’t ready to be a dad, clearly. I would just be a failure. I didn’t want to hurt my baby. I loved him so much even though he wasn’t even here yet. I would only disappoint my wife. I was supposed to be the man of the family, the provider and the protector, but I couldn’t even raise a child. When my baby grew up, he would hate me. My wife would hate me.

“Mike?” Cassandra whispered, still facing the opposite direction.

I caught my breath. “Yeah?”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I lied. “Just a bad dream.”

“Go back to bed.”

“Okay.” I lay down and stared at the ceiling, knowing I was going to be the worst father in the world.

“Do you need anything before I leave?” I asked.

She looked at me from her spot on the couch. “Where are you going?”

“I just need to stop by the office and take care of a few things. I won’t be gone long.”

“Oh. Um, no. I’m okay.”

“Call me if you need anything.” I kissed her forehead then headed to the door.

“Mike?”

“Hmm?” I put my wallet in my back pocket.

“Is everything okay? You’ve been weird all morning.”

“I just didn’t sleep well last night.” I didn’t look at her when I said it and headed to the door.

“Be careful, okay?”

“Always.”

I left the house and headed to the only person I could talk to about this, someone who was a father and was the best one in the world. I parked in front of my parents’ house then knocked on the door.

My dad answered it a moment later, wearing jeans and a collared shirt. “Well, what a surprise.” He hugged me then patted me on the back. “I didn’t think I’d see you until the baby arrived.”

“Yeah.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

He studied my face. “Everything alright, son?”

I shook my head. “No.”

Concern crept into his features. “What’s on your mind?”

I looked over his shoulder and didn’t see my mom. “Can we take a walk?”

He looked even more nervous. “Sure thing.” He shut the door behind him, and together, we walked around the house and headed to the beach. My hands were in my pockets while I walked beside my father. The waves crashed against the shore and the seagulls cried out.

My dad patiently waited for me to speak first.

“I can’t be a dad,” I finally said. “I’m going to be a terrible father.”

Anger suddenly spread through his features. “You better not be telling me that you’re leaving your wife and unborn baby. Because I would beat the shit out of you right here on this beach.”

I knew he meant it. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then clarify,” he said with hostility.

“I just…I’m not ready to be a dad. I keep having these dreams w
here I hurt my baby. I drop him or leave him somewhere. I don’t know the first thing about being a father. What if I do something wrong and he ends up as a serial killer? What if I don’t teach him how to drive properly and he gets in a car accident? What if I accidentally hurt him? What if he hates me…?”

My dad walked beside me and stared straight ahead. “Every parent goes through this, Mike.”

“No, Sean seems totally fine. He says he’s a little nervous but that’s it. And you’re the best father in the world. How can I be like both of you? I’m drowning in my own insecurities. How do you be a good father? Tell me.”

He shrugged. “There’s no right answer.”

“Well, that really helps,” I said bitterly.

“When your mother told me she was pregnant with you, I was nothing but happy. The whole pregnancy was wonderful. Every day was a gift. The best months of our marriage were spent waiting for you to join us. But a week before you were born, I got scared.”

“You did?”
Mr. Perfect was scared?

“Yeah. I left the house and stayed with my brother for a day. I lied to your mother and said I had a business meeting.

“What? You lied to Mom?” I didn’t think that was possible.

“That w
as the only time I lied, and I told her about it afterwards.”

“What did you do there?”

“I talked it out with my brother.”

“And what did you tell Mom?”

“The truth. I was scared. Being a parent is the biggest responsibility you’ll ever have. It can be overwhelming.”

“So what did you do?”

He shrugged. “I came home and waited for you to arrive.”

“Did you drop me?”

He laughed. “No, not once.”

“Did you leave me at the store?”

He shook his head, smiling. “No.”

“Then how did you become such a good dad?”

He rubbed his chin while he pondered his answer. “I put you first. That’s all.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means what it means. You were the most important thing in my world. I didn’t sleep or do anything else unless I was absolutely sure you were taken care of. I even put you before your mother. I loved you with my whole heart and spent my life living for you. When I was at work, I called and checked in. When I came home, I spent time with you.”

“What about when you were alone with me?”

“I got to know you. I took you to work with me on days your mother needed some alone time. You sat beside my desk while I worked. It was the greatest time of my life. You and I really bonded then. Even though you couldn’t talk, I began to understand your language. In time, we just got to know each other.”

“Were you scared the first time you were alone with me?”

“Terrified,” he said with a laugh. “But at the end of the day, I realized I could handle it. While being a parent is stressful, it’s also the greatest joy you’ll ever know. And the day your kids finally find their way in life, settle down and get their happily ever after, is the day you can pat yourself on the back and know all those sleepless nights and years of worry were completely and utterly worth it.”