Collaborate (Save Me #4) (7 page)

“How about we get out of bed and get some food before this reporter gets here.” Abby tries to sound upbeat but I know the fact that Izzy just walked away without saying anything hurt.

The kids barrel out of the bed, rushing for the kitchen. Abby attempts to get out of bed, but I grab her and pin her down. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“But they need to see the real us, the flawed version.”

I expect her to fight me on it, wanting to keep up the impression that everyone else has of us so far, but she doesn’t. She nods and pulls me down to kiss me. “Agreed.”

~*~*~*~

“So you’re saying that not everything is as perfect as it seems?”

“Nope,” I say across the table. “The public only sees what they want to see. For some people   they want to see the negative parts and tear the relationship apart. We just happened to luck out and people think that there is nothing wrong with us. But we’re flawed, especially lately, but we work our asses off to make this work. For us, for the kids.”

“Does the outside world, uh, people’s opinions, have any impact on what happens between you guys?”

“No, what happens between us, is between us.” Reaching over, I grab Abby’s phone out of her hand and slide it onto the top of the fridge where she can’t reach it. “Be here, and be present.”

Abby

Be here and be present. The words play on repeat the rest of the day while we go about what we usually do at the house. However, I get stuck on a few things because everything has changed. Everyone here had to switch routines around to work for them while I decided to flake out. I’m sure it’s noticeable, but I hope not too badly. 

My phone continues to go off on top of the fridge, but since I can’t reach it without drawing attention to myself by hauling a chair over to get it, I leave it. I want to make this work again and I’m willing to do anything Jameson asks of me to make it happen. It’s good to be back home with everyone, even if only three out of four people in the house are talking to me. Izzy and I have a lot to work on and as soon as the reporter leaves around the kid’s bedtime, I climb the stairs and push open her door.

“Can we talk?”

Izzy flicks her eyes to me, and then back to the book in her hand. “I think I heard enough the other night.”

Ignoring her, I head over to her bed and drop down by her feet. “I’m sorry. I said a lot of things the other night that didn’t come out right. They’re in my head correctly, but I can’t get them out of my mouth the way they need to come.”

“Mhm.”

I know she’s listening even though she doesn’t want to, so I keep talking. “I’m sorry I was an ass. Instead of leaning on everyone like it should be when something is wrong, I withdrew and threw myself into work. It’s not that you don’t remind me of your dad, in fact, you’re the best reminder of him that I could ever have asked for. I know that you miss him too. He’s your dad, always will be, and it sucks that you lost him so early on. And you were right, I do have more memories with him in them and that sucks, but anything you want to know I’ll tell you. I just need you to forgive me.”

I sit there for a few minutes, hoping like hell that she’ll say something but she doesn’t. I sigh and give up. Hopefully she’ll come around soon, but it obviously won’t be right now. I slide off her bed and head down the hallway. Just before I hit the top of the stairs, Izzy yells out my name from her room. I turn around as her feet hit the floor and she runs up the hall and wraps herself around me.

“I’m so sorry, babe,” I whisper into her hair. She doesn’t say anything, but I know sooner or later it’s all going to be all right.

9

Evan

Something feels off, wrong, and I can feel it in my bones. Everyone told me to be prepared because I would probably get cold feet and want to run away, but it’s not me I'm worried about. I've never wanted anything more than to make Tuesday my wife. To know she was mine forever. But like I said, something is wrong.

Grabbing my phone, I rush out typing a half assed message about loving her and how much I can't wait to see her at the end of that aisle. I try not to look desperate and needy in front of the guys— even though they all know I'd be the most pussy whipped man in the world if Tuesday didn't tell me to cut the fucking shit and grow a pair of balls from time to time. She's the only woman I know who would rather have the cocky side of me than to be doted on constantly. I adjust my tie once more before forcing myself to turn around and smile at Jameson. 

"What's wrong?" he mutters, crossing his ankles and leaning back in the chair.

Checking my phone to see if she's texted back, I shrug. "Not sure. Something feels wrong."

"Like?"

"Like I don't have a fiancée anymore."

He chuckles, obviously thinking I'm joking when I'm not. "Well, in a few minutes she won't be your fiancée anymore." When I don't laugh he narrows his eyes and untangles himself from the chair. "Do you want me to go make sure everything is OK?"

After thinking about it for a minute, I shake my head and grab my coat. As much as I love and trust my brother, I know he'd do anything to keep me from getting hurt, and if she's gone I need to see it with my own eyes. 

It’s pitch black and the fact that I'm freezing my ass off because it's snowing has me reconsidering my need to get married today. We could have waited and had it in the summer and Tuesday could have worn a damn bikini instead of a coat. Not that she would have, but a man can dream. Tugging the thick wool of my coat tighter around my neck, I kick the snow out of my way as I trudge toward the building she's supposed to be in getting ready. The overhead light illuminates the falling flakes when I round the corner.   I come to a halt when I see Tuesday leaning against her car. Her head rests against her folded arms on the roof of the vehicle. Even from where I stand, I can see her shake from the cold because all she's wearing is her wedding dress. No coat, no gloves, just this thin little sexy as hell dress.  

I knew something was wrong and I know now what it is. "I certainly hope you remember what happened the last time you decided to run away without telling me where you were going before you do it again." 

Tuesday's back stiffens. She pushes away from the car and turns around, trying to play off what's going on with a joke. "A sexy as hell tattoo, and one hell of a set of piercings."

When I don't laugh at her failed attempt to make the situation easier, her face falls. She's stoic as always, no tears, no crying about what is going on in her head, just the truth about what she's thinking written on her face.

"If you get in that car and run away, I will find you again. I will follow you to the ends of the earth just to bring you back." As stalker-ish as that sounds, I would do it. "I can see it written on your face, Tuesday. You're running."

"You deserve better. You deserve someone that isn't broken."

"We're back to this again?"

She takes half a step forward, hesitates, and falls back to where she was. "I never stopped believing that you deserve better than anything I can give you. The only shit I bring to the table is an uncertain future and self-doubt. My past is always going to get in the way, Evan."

I stomp forward, rip my coat off and swing it around her shoulders. I shove my hands inside the jacket, wrapping my arms around her to get her warm, and pull her into me. "You are the only person that believes that shit. There is nothing better for me than you. Because of you, I strive to be a better person and without you, I fall apart. Ask anyone. I don't want anyone but you. I'm completely fucking useless without you." I take a deep breath. "You run, I follow. The only way I will leave you alone is if you truly don't love me, but I know you do."

"Why do you have to make this so hard for me?" she whispers.

Reaching up, I brush my thumb over her cheek. "It's not hard, baby. Say I do, or don't, I'm still going to love you. But if you really don't want to marry me right now, we can go back to the house and forget this wedding. As much as I want to make you my wife, we can keep things the way they were if that's what you want as long as it keeps you in my life." 

She takes her sweet time thinking about what she wants to do. I can see the war in her mind, part of her pulling away, but a bigger part begging to stay. I hold my breath, not releasing it until she finally speaks again.

“I want to be your wife.”

Tuesday

I’m not sure how we got from the car to the “I dos” but we made it. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that I want to be with Evan, but I’m still stuck in the mindset that something could happen and he could get hurt. I couldn’t live with myself if he got hurt because of me. That’s the only reason I was thinking about getting in that car at all. I couldn’t go through with it though. Even if Evan hadn’t come out when he did, I would have stayed. Just thinking about walking away from him and the life we’ve built together made my heart actually hurt so I knew there was no way for me to leave it behind.

The way Evan is looking at me while he waits to be told he can kiss me is overwhelming. His eyes are full of love for me. Love that I never expected to know in my life and love that I never thought I would let near me. I hope that I can give him everything that he wants out of life.

They finally tell us we can kiss just before midnight but Evan waits. He stands, watching the clock so long that it actually makes me nervous and has me wondering if he changed his mind.

I open my mouth to speak but he suddenly cuts me off by slamming his lips against mine. His fingers on one hand tangle through my hair, while his other hand splays across my back, holding me to him. I melt, completely giving myself over to the way he’s claiming me in front of everyone. When he finally pulls back, he doesn’t let go. He does nothing but smile down at me like he has the damn world in the palm of his hand.

“Why did you watch the clock for so long?”

Evan’s smile gets bigger as he kisses me again. “I told you I wanted to wake up in the new year as your husband, but I had to start the year off the right way.”

It’s in that moment, the one that he’s telling me that the right way to start his year is by kissing me that I know this is all I want out of life. I don’t need money, or fancy shit to prove what I’m worth to anyone. 

I just need Evan.

10

AJ

I’m supposed to be paying attention to the wedding and all the festivities that go along with it, but I can't. From my spot up beside Evan, Jameson, and Jason, I can see Payton perfectly. The way the candles surrounding the room light up her smile makes me fall even harder for her. I don't know what the fuck it is about her, but she took me from major manwhore to whatever the hell I am now. I don't sleep around, I don't objectify, everything I've done for so long is gone because of her. Whipped by her and she's not even mine. 

My attention turns to her douchebag husband sitting next to her at the table while Evan and Tuesday dance. He doesn't talk to her, or touch her like he should. In fact, in the few hours he's been here, his eyes have barely left his phone screen. It's not right. Payton deserves better. So do her daughters. They deserve someone who wants to be with them, someone who pays attention. Thanks to the friendship that grew quickly between Payton and myself, I've seen how he is even if she refuses to see it herself.

The song switches to something a little slower and even though I know I shouldn't do it, I walk away from my table and extend my hand out to her. Payton stares at my outstretched hand before letting her gaze drift to her husband. He still isn't paying attention so I step between them, blocking her view and ask her to dance. As soon as the words come out of my mouth I can feel Max's eyes shoot daggers into my back, but Payton can't see that. She hesitates for a second but finally shrugs and slips her hand into mine.

"You know the music is too low for me to feel the beat so I'm going to be stepping on your feet."

It's better than trampling my heart like you usually do.  "I guess it's a good thing I'm a drummer and can lead like a boss."

When we finally get to the floor next to everyone else who is dancing and she settles into my arms, I feel like I finally have everything I've ever wanted, but I don't. I know that in a few minutes this will be over and she'll walk away.

She stumbles and I tighten my grip. "When are you going to leave your husband for me?" I joke. As much as I want her, I'd never try to wreck a marriage to get what I want. My parents taught me better than that.

Payton smiles up at me. "You want me to leave a loving marriage for someone who doesn't even know what the word love is?" She laughs and the sound surrounds me, almost making me forget that just insulted me. Almost, but it cut deep.

I keep moving, pushing her around the dance floor while trying to keep myself from saying something to mess this up. Payton is one of my best friends now and I don’t want to mess that up just because I want it to be more when it’s impossible. I keep my feelings to myself because I’d rather her be happy in a one-sided relationship than to see her hurt at all. I know sooner or later it will fall apart on its own and as much as that sucks, I plan to be the person to pick up the pieces. 

Acknowledgements

Thank you.

There is nothing more to say than thank you, to every single one of you.

Happy New Year!

Table of Contents

Collaborate

1

Evan

Tuesday

2

Abby

Jameson

3