Come Back To Me (22 page)

Chapter Thirty-Six

The burly, pock-faced tree surgeon Robert had hired shook Beau’s hand and handed him the receipt for cutting down and removing the tree that had ultimately stolen Tess’s mental capacities.
Tree surgeon. Right. Murderer is more like it.
The tree was gone, a grave mound of wood chips and sawdust in its place. Is that what you do with things that don’t work well anymore? Kill them? He couldn’t help but wonder what would be left of Tess.

Beau watched the truck pull out of the driveway, a trailer full of wood, limbs trailing behind, bits of sawdust disappearing into the air. The house phone rang. Beau’s heart fluttered.
Tess
. Then reality showed its ugly face again, and his heart deflated as quickly as it had swelled with hope.
Mom
. She was the last person he wanted to talk to. She hadn’t stopped hounding him about the baby.
The baby
wasn’t even his. He lumbered inside, hoping the ringing would stop before he reached the phone.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, honey. How are you? Did the tree surgeon show up?”

Shitty
. Yes. “Fine. Yeah, they were here, took down the tree. Tell Dad thanks, will ya?”

“Of course, honey.”

The silence between them thickened. Beau’s face pinched.
Please don’t start.

“Honey, I was thinking…about the baby?”

“Mom
, please.”

“Just hear me out, please. I know you think Tess…strayed.”

She’s not a cat. She’s my fucking wife
.

“But I think you should forgive her, if she did…
stray
…I mean.”

Beau pictured his mother standing in the kitchen, twisting the cord of her ancient wall phone around her finger, pain inking itself across her forehead.

“Mom, I gotta go,” he said.

“Wait, honey, please. She’s just a baby, Beau, a tiny, little piece of Tess, of you. She didn’t ask for this. She’s—”

“Mom!” Beau didn’t mean to yell. He closed his eyes and breathed through his nose, wishing she’d shut up.
She’s not a piece of me
.

“She’s all you have left of her, Beau,” Carol pleaded.

“Bye, Mom.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Kevin had been sitting on the floor in front of Alice’s door for twenty minutes, his arms leaning on his knees, head bowed. He’d wait for twenty hours if that’s what it took for Alice to speak to him.
Alice
. She’d sure thrown him for a loop. He hadn’t seen the strange attraction coming. Who knew she was so soft and vulnerable underneath the iron exterior? He hadn’t handled her well that night he’d told her about Tess. He didn’t blame her for being upset—okay, beyond upset. He could understand her hating him—for a while—but come on, look at what he’d been dealing with. His best friend is alive, his best friend’s wife is brain dead, his friend has a baby he refuses to acknowledge, and now, this?

He and Alice had become so close. He’d learned to make the bed, give her space. Hell, he didn’t even mind when she played up the sultry vixen when they were out together, even though the lecherous looks she received cut him to his core. He’d have adjusted to that, too, in time.
In time
. God, how he wanted that time.

“Ahem.”

He hadn’t heard Alice approach. He lifted his eyes. God, she was beautiful, even with anger etched into her face. “Hey.”
Lame.
He rose to his feet.

Alice lifted her chin and put the key in her lock.

The silence crushed Kevin. He waited, hoping she’d say something, anything.

She didn’t.

Kevin dug his hands deep into his pocket. The scent of her only made him miss her more. He followed her into the condo and stood by the door, waiting for her to tell him to leave. The condo looked like a freshman dorm room. Magazines littered the table, spilling onto the floor, dirty dishes lined the counter, and…was that a stain on the white chair? Kevin took two steps closer to inspect the discoloration.

Alice hung up her keys and waved to the chair, making no apologies for the new ransacked look her condo was sporting. “Sit,” she said.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Alice?”

She set her purse on the counter and turned to face Kevin with a look that said,
What the hell do you want now?

Kevin lifted his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry, Alice. I’m truly, desperately, unendingly sorry.”

Alice dropped her gaze.

“I was out of my mind. I thought Beau had shot himself, he had blood all over.” The anxiety that he’d been holding onto came tumbling forward. “He…God, Alice, he’s my best friend.” He sank into the chair, letting his face fall into his hands. “I’m so sorry.”

Soft footsteps moved in his direction. Her hand on his back sent a shiver through his body and released his tears.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Alice sat on the edge of the chair, emotional pain still tearing through her. “You shouldn’t have accused me.” Her heart was going to explode. “You shouldn’t have told me like you did.” Flush burned her face. “Goddamn it, Kevin. I hated you! Why’d you have to come back?” She folded her arms across her chest and turned toward the windows.

Kevin lifted his head. “Because I love you.”

Tears filled Alice’s eyes. For the umpteenth time that week, her body felt like a beehive, full of holes and whirling with turmoil. “Well, guess what? It doesn’t work that way.” She stood, spun around to face him. “You can’t walk all over the people you love!” Her voice rose, her eyes bulged. “You can’t do it. I’m losing my best friend, too, you know.” She took two steps toward the kitchen, then buried her face in her hands. “This whole thing is fucked up,” she cried.

Kevin was instantly by her side, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know I was wrong. I get it. I promise, Al, I’ll never do it again.”

Alice pulled away. She’d heard that one too many times—from her father, years ago. No, she wouldn’t be the weak woman who allowed herself to be stepped on. She took a look around her condo, noticing the chaos for the first time.
What have I done
? She’d lost control.
Goddamn it!
She swallowed her pain and turned an icy stare toward Kevin.

“It’s not okay.”

Her cold tone startled Kevin.

“While I appreciate your apology, I’d like you to leave now.”

“But—”

“I let you in, Kevin. You knew everything that I’d gone through. You’re the only goddamn man I’ve ever let get close to me, and you’ve proven to me exactly what I already knew. You can let yourself out.” She spun on her heels and retreated to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Louie’s cell phone rang on the passenger seat as he sped toward the hospital. He knew who was calling and pushed the pedal down toward the floor. He had to see Tess. This couldn’t be happening.

She’s not yours to lose.

He gripped the steering wheel more tightly, fighting his own thoughts.

She’s his.

He shifted in his seat. The phone began ringing again.

“Not now, Karen,” he said through clenched teeth. The light up ahead was yellow. He floored it.

Carol’s words taunted Beau,
All you have left of her
. He slowed to a stop as the light turned yellow. He was in no hurry to get to the hospital. He felt sick to his stomach every time he saw Tess and knew he had to muster the courage, or the desire, to see that baby. He wondered what Tess had been thinking as she held Louie in her arms. Did she speak to him in cute little quips like he remembered? Did they have inside jokes, secrets?

Beau focused on a spot on the dashboard as each thought stacked on the one before, building momentum. His body tensed. A prickling of frustration crawled along his skin. Honking behind him infiltrated his distress, and he lifted a hand in apology, pushing on the gas without looking away from the tiny fleck on the dashboard. Horns blared. Beau reflexively slammed on the brakes, looking up just in time to see the car speeding across the lane in front of him.
Jesus fucking Christ
.

Louie flew into a parking place, slammed the car into Park. He sat in the car and stared at the imposing brick façade of the hospital, each window watching him, accusing him. He knew he would be crossing a line the minute he walked into the hospital. He had no business seeing Tess. Her husband was back in town, her
husband.
He’d never be her husband. He’d never be Rebecca’s husband. He let out a frustrated moan.

Tess had cast him away. Why hadn’t he just told her about Karen? He’d seen her face each time he took one of Karen’s calls. He knew he should’ve told Tess about her, but Karen was separate from Tess—his private burden to bear. Tess hadn’t needed to be part of that craziness. She’d lost her husband, had a baby to care for. He thought he could protect her from the ugly remains that death leaves behind, and instead, he’d lost her forever. He’d known it when she’d gone away, and he was sure of it now, as he sat in the hospital parking lot ignoring Karen’s call.

Beau slogged across the parking lot, still recovering from the near-miss at the stop light. Part of him wished the car had knocked him to hell. At least then he’d be out of his misery. His thoughts turned to his parents, and instantly guilt made each step more difficult.

A car door slammed behind him.

Beau reached for his cell phone. He needed to apologize to his mother. Tess had the affair, not her. He dialed her number. The hair on the back of his neck stood up when a man walked past his car. He glanced up.
Shit.
He clicked End Call, shoved the phone in his pocket, and set his shoulders back.

“Hey, asshole.” His nerves were on fire.

Louie turned around. His eyes locked with Beau’s. His face fell flat.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Beau’s gruff voice matched his imposing gait.

Louie put his palms up. “I don’t mean any trouble, Beau. I just wanted to see her.”

Beau’s fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. “You’ve got some nerve.”

Tension rose thickly between them. Beau was a lion, ready to attack, Louie, a pleading antelope.

Louie took two steps backward. “I don’t want to—”

The punch connected with his jaw with a distinct crack, sending him reeling backward.

A woman passing by grabbed her daughter and hurried inside the hospital.

Beau stood above Louie, pushing Louie back in fast, hard thumps.

Louie stumbled backward.

“You’ve got no right.”
Thump!
“Get the fuck outta here.”
Thump!

Louie swiped at the blood dripping from his lip. “I love her.” He knew it was a mistake.

Thump!

“We thought you were dead.”

Thump! “So you moved right in? Just like that?”
Thump!

Louie’s back was up against a car. “It wasn’t like that,” he tried to explain.

“You knocked up another man’s wife!”
Thump!
Beau pulled his arm back, fist tight. “You fucking prick. She’s MY wife!”

Two enormous security guards grabbed Beau from behind, dragging him backward on his heels.

“Don’t you dare go in there, motherfucker,” Beau screamed. “Stay away from her!”

Chapter Thirty-Eight

“What were you thinking?” Kevin asked as he and Beau left the police station. “You’re lucky he didn’t press charges.”

“He’s lucky I didn’t kill him,” Beau fumed, marching toward Kevin’s truck.

“Jesus, Beau. Don’t you want to see Tess? At this rate you’ll…I don’t know. Something bad’s gonna happen.”

Beau gave him a sideways look.

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Sorry.” He waited for Beau to say something.

Beau didn’t respond.

“What’s going on, Beau? Tess is lying in the hospital, man.” He prepared for a punch, knowing he had gone too far, but he was sick of the crap Beau was pulling. His wife was lying in a hospital, brain dead, their baby was struggling for her life, and Beau was acting like a psycho teenager. Kevin was no better prepared to handle this than he was to handle the mess he was in with Alice.

“What the fuck? You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t think about her every second of the goddamn day? She can’t fucking do anything, Kevin, and she’s not coming back. I have to fucking deal with that.”

Kevin turned away, his heart aching.

“You expect me to just say,
Oh, whatever. She slept with some other guy, great, no problem. I’ll just play daddy to that prick’s kid.”
He shot Kevin a cold look. “I got news for you, Kev,” he paused, “it ain’t happenin’.”

Kevin wondered how long a hospital could care for a baby if a father refused to.

Beau was becoming used to the way the house felt—like returning to his childhood home after his parents had sold it—alive with memories, but lacking animation. He went upstairs and lay back on the unmade bed. He’d found the boxes of his clothes in the basement the week after Tess’s accident, and he’d begun the slow process of restocking his drawers. As his eyes sailed over the half-empty box, he wished he could restock his life as easily. It had been weeks since Tess had been pronounced brain dead, and he was still too angry to make any decisions.  He loathed the hospital, sitting by Tess’s bed, the nurses passing him with pitying looks, treating him with kid gloves, Dr. Kelly pressing him to make a decision. How the hell do you decide to end someone’s life? What if they’re wrong? What if she’s not brain dead, but just—he didn’t know what—lost in the recesses of her own mind? He rolled onto his side. Maybe he was just being stupid.

His mother had told him to let her go, but he didn’t know how. How could he? He was too mad to let her go. Selfishly, he wanted her to wake up so he could yell at her, make her feel the pain he was feeling at that very moment. He rolled over onto his back, his leg and arm aching, reminding him of the desert. Suha. He wondered what had happened to her body.
Samira. Jesus Christ.
He propped himself up on his elbow and dialed Mr. Fulan’s number.

“Beau, how are you?” Mrs. Fulan’s voice was laden with concern.

“I’m doing okay, thank you. I’m sorry to bother you. Is Mr. Fulan available?”

“Yes, he is.”

Beau could hear her hard shoes moving across the marble floor. She covered the phone, said something in Arabic. Beau could hear the smile in her voice.

“Samira is here,” she said into the receiver.

Beau hadn’t expected that.

“Would you like to speak with her?” she asked.

His heartbeat quickened. “Yeah, sure.”

The phone passed hands.

A tentative hello whispered through the receiver.

“Samira?”

Her small familiar voice, “Yes.”

“I’m sorry about leaving. I…there’s been an accident.”

“Yes, I know.”

Beau was thankful she understood the words he spoke. “Are you okay? The kids?”

Edham’s voice piped up in the background, “Mr. Beau?”

Samira hushed him. “Yes,” she said to Beau. Edham rattled on in the background. Samira hushed him again.

Beau smiled at Edham’s excitement. “Can I talk to him?”

Samira handed the phone to Edham, speaking quickly in Arabic to her excited son.

“Mr. Beau!”

“Hey!” Beau felt his spirit lift for the first time in weeks. “Are you being good?”

“Good. I’m good,” Edham said. “You see me?”

Beau smiled. “Yes. Soon.”

Samira took the phone from Edham.

“How’s Zeid? Athra?” he asked.

“Zeid? He is Zeid. Athra close to Mrs. Fulan,” she said with warmth.

A brief silence passed between them.

“Sorry. Your wife,” Samira offered.

“Thank you.” Beau lowered his voice, “Suha?”

A strained sound came through the receiver.

“Don’t. The children. I’m sorry.” Beau shook his head. He should have known better. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. Mr. Fulan is very kind.”

Beau let out a relieved sigh. He told Samira that he’d see her soon and spoke briefly to Mr. Fulan, who thanked him for bringing Samira and the children into their lives.

“Layla has taken the children in as siblings, and Mrs. Fulan and Samira are like sisters,” Mr. Fulan had said.

Knowing that Samira and the children were safe and happy eased a weight from Beau’s shoulders. He was pleased that Samira had been using her given name, rather than the fake name she’d been given. What Mr. Fulan said next, sent Beau into bittersweet hell.

“Samira gave me your camera. The photographs will be published next month. You’ll gain international credit.”

Beau lay back on the bed and closed his eyes.