Coming Clean (16 page)

Mentally issuing an “at ease” to the soldier boy in my pants, not that he was as good at following orders as the lady of the hour was, I climbed farther onto the bed to lie beside a very satisfied Cassidy. “I believe there was a part two to our assignment?”

She turned her face to look at me past her limp arm. “You want to know what Katya said?”

I reached up and took her wrist, pulling her arm free and stopping with her hand before me. With deliberate motion, I sucked those two orgasm-soaked fingers into my mouth and took my consolation prize. “Tell me.”

Cassidy sat up and twisted around to lean into me, her naked breasts pressing against my chest. It was the first physical contact I'd had with her body since we'd begun and it put my entire nervous system on high alert. Turning the tables of my own teasing technique against me, her warm breath caressed my neck as she whispered into my ear, “ ‘Once Shaw has brought you to orgasm, you will gift him the same. I want you to
suck…his…cock
.' ” She mocked Katya's accent, putting direct emphasis on the last three words before continuing, “ ‘Swallow his cum and take it into yourself. Do not be a wasteful girl.' ”

My fucking dick was hard enough to plow through concrete like a jackhammer. I closed my eyes, listening to the words while recalling the sight of another woman pressing herself so seductively against Cassidy. Though I in no way desired Katya for my own, it was clear she would love nothing more than to touch my girl the same way Cassidy had just touched herself. And that was definitely a turn-on. Cassidy might not ever admit to it, but I suspected it was true for her as well.

Cassidy's hand inched down my stomach. “That's what she said to me, Shaw. And that's what I'm going to do.”

There is a God. There is a God. There is a God!

Scrambling toward the foot of the bed with explicit purpose, she tugged my belt loose and popped the button of my jeans before releasing the zipper. I was forced to lift my ass when she grabbed the waistband of my pants and gave them a hard yank to pull them free of my legs.

My cock sprung to attention, slowly rising of its own accord as if to show off for her. Cassidy's gaze locked on to it, and then she licked her goddamn lips. In response, the head leaked precum, weeping a salty tear of joy for what was about to come. And come. And come.

Thinking back on it—though I wasn't sure how I was able to form a coherent thought about anything at the moment—I realized she hadn't blown me since Valentine's Day. Before that, it had been our anniversary. Incidentally, it had been those same two occasions that I'd gone down on her. Yeah, I'd really dropped the ball.

Cassidy wasted no time getting down to it with a long lap from base to tip, a swirl of her tongue, followed by some deep throat action with some hellafied suction. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I forced the fuckers to face front and center because no way did I want to miss seeing a second of this.

It wasn't going to take long. Fuck me, but it wouldn't. Cassidy's mouth was hot, her plump lips sealed around my cock as her cheeks hollowed out with an intense draw. Cupping my balls, she massaged them with a skilled precision that worked in tandem with the rhythmic bobbing of her head. Her mouth was spread wide to accommodate my size, but still she was able to take me all the way to the back of her throat, swallowing around the head and then pulling back to let her flattened tongue do wicked things to my ultrasensitive skin.

“Oh, God, sweetness,” I groaned, my hands finding their way into her hair for no other reason than because I wanted to feel the up-and-down motion on my palms. I didn't push, I didn't pull; I just let her do the damn thing. She certainly didn't need any help from me.

Pressure began to build higher and higher in my sac, and then Cassidy gripped the base of my cock, giving it a not so gentle squeeze while her mouth took on the head. Her lips curled tight around the place just below the pronounced ridge of the tip, and she manipulated the hell out of that spot, sparing no mercy because there was none to give.

“Fuck, Cass…Are you sure you want me to come in your mouth?” The words were strained as every muscle in my body went taut. I gripped her hair, making sure she didn't venture into “let's switch it up” land. Because I was about to come. Hard.

She didn't say anything—couldn't, what with her mouth being full and all—but she did look up at me with an unequivocal determination in her eyes that was synonymous with the name Cassidy Whalen. I fucking loved it.

A ferocious growl that I could feel building in my chest before it clawed its way out preceded the rocketing sensation of my seed. I shoved Cassidy's head all the way down until my cock touched the back of her throat, and then I let it go, coming hard in my girl's mouth.

I watched in awe as Cassidy continued to suck me. Her eyes closed and she moaned around each demanding draw and swallow.

When it became too much for me to handle and I had nothing more to give her, I eased my grip on Cassidy's hair and lifted her chin so she'd release me. With a self-satisfied air about her, she wiped the corner of her mouth with her middle finger, and then her tongue made one more appearance to lick it clean.

When I arched a brow in question, she shrugged and said, “Katya told me not to be wasteful.”

Katya was my new best friend. I laughed, pulling her up my body to nestle in the crook of my arm. We stayed like that for some time before we both decided we had the munchies and got dressed to hit the fridge.

I was damn proud of us. For the good of our relationship, we'd sacrificed time with Abe and we'd successfully managed our very naughty assignment. Next on the list was our meeting with Dr. Sparling. And yeah, he'd given us a sort of assignment as well, food for thought. He was going to quiz us on how well we really knew each other, and Cassidy was now freaking out because she'd forgotten about it.

Sitting in the corner of the couch, her legs were curled up to her chest. “What if he tells us we have no business being together? What then?”

“That's not going to happen, Cass.”

“But it
could
happen.”

“Not likely. And even if it does, so what? It doesn't change anything. We're two grown adults. We don't have to do what he says.”

“Yes, we do. We signed a contract.”

Ah, yes. The contract. Ms. By-the-Book wouldn't dare go against a document she'd signed. Not under duress.

“Come on, Shaw. If a total stranger, a professional in the field, says we've got no business being together, maybe we'd better listen. And oh, my God”—she gripped her own fingers, twisting them this way and that—“what's that going to mean for Abe? He's going to be so confused. That sort of thing could really damage a kid his age. He'll hate us both. And then he'll probably grow up to be a serial killer or something.”

“Cassidy, stop!” I might have raised my voice a little bit on that one, but she was pseudo-hyperventilating, eyes wild with panic as her frantic mind started drumming up all sorts of fictional scenarios. It was best I put the brakes on before she mentally had our son living out the rest of his days in a straitjacket and a muzzle before going to the electric chair. “Nothing like that is going to happen because I won't let it.”

She didn't look convinced, just started rocking back and forth with her arms hugged tight around her torso. No doubt, she was putting herself in Abe's crazy suit, feeling his abandonment issues and trying to see the world through his eyes.

I took a seat next to her so I could unwrap her arms and replace them with my own. “Look, sweetness, if it'll make you feel better, and I know it will, we can stay up all night drilling each other and making sure we know everything there is to know about each other.”

“Really? You'd do that?”

“Of course I would. I told you I'd do whatever it takes, didn't I?”

Her panicked eyes softened and her shoulders relaxed as she tilted her head to the side and smiled adoringly at me. “You did. I'm sorry I'm such a basket case when it comes to stuff like this. I just want to be prepared.”

“I know,” I told her. “And I understand. I really do. It's one of the things I love most about you.”

She leaned up and kissed me sweetly. “I love you, too,” she said when she pulled back. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, sweets. That scorching-hot blow job you just gave me was gratitude enough.” I gave her a wink, which earned me a light slap on the shoulder, but she laughed, and that was so much better than watching her freak out. “Now, what would you like to know about me?”

Shaw and I had stayed up well into the morning, quizzing each other on likes, dislikes, and our favorite everything. Strange that you could be with someone for as long as Shaw and I had been together, even conceiving and raising a child together, and still not know the basic facts about them. But we did now, and I was confident going into our appointment with our relationship coach, Dr. Jeremy Sparling. Or as Shaw liked to refer to him, the Keymaster. I totally saw the resemblance.

Still riding the high of the unbelievable orgasm I'd given myself via Shaw's provocation, there was a little bounce in my step, which was a miracle considering the limited number of hours I'd slept. Not to mention I was missing my Abey Baby like crazy. I'd talked to him first thing this morning, and had completely melted at the sound of his cheery voice on the other end of the phone line. His uncle Casey was going to take him out on the boat tomorrow, and he was ten kinds of excited about it. Most overprotective mothers would be worried, but that was the way of life in Stonington, and I wanted Abe to have as much exposure to it as possible because it was what shaped boys into men.

“So…how have things been since our last session?” Today, Dr. Sparling was wearing a vintage
We Are the World
T-shirt under a sports jacket and blue jeans with deck shoes. His hair was dry this time, less greaser and more seventies feather bang.

“Good,” I told him, and Shaw grunted his agreement.

“And did you go see Dr. Minkov?” The way he asked the question gave away his eagerness for the response, much like a dirty boy propositioning a hooker in the seedy part of town, not wanting to get caught but unable to resist the urge at the same time.

Shaw gave a short snicker. “We absolutely did. You know, if you had told us to expect an unmarked car, an abandoned warehouse parking lot, and a secluded getaway, we might not have been so afraid for our lives.”

Jeremy nodded his head with a chortle. “Katya does have a flair for the dramatic, doesn't she?” He pulled opened the notebook on his lap and flipped a few pages over the top. “Did she agree to…um, counsel you?”

“Yes,” I told him, wondering just how much he knew of her tactics.

Again with the nod, though he still hadn't looked up. I, too, had a knack for reading body language and could tell he wanted to ask more, but was afraid doing so might give something away. He cleared his throat and pulled a pen from his front pocket before finally lifting his head with a plastered smile. “Shaw, if it's okay with you, I'll need to not only record this meeting but also take notes. Will that be a problem?”

Shaw threw his hand up dismissively. “Nah, go ahead, Doc.”

Pressing a button on the recorder, he got things under way. “Okay, let's get started. No worries; this little game is always so much fun, probably the least intimidating of all the sessions we'll have.”

I wished I'd had even a fraction of Jeremy's excitement over what was about to go down, but I was nervous despite my confidence that we'd studied as much as we could about each other.

“First question goes to Shaw. What is Cassidy's favorite color?”

“Blue,” he answered confidently.

“Yep, that's right!” I beamed, wanting to high-five my teammate.

“Great! Cassidy, what's Shaw's favorite color?”

“Green.” Two points on the board to our favor. I moved to the edge of the couch, anxious for the next question. Dr. Sparling noticed and looked at me like I was a weirdo, which I might have been, but we were going to win this.

Pen met paper. Darn it. “It's interesting that you both chose the color of your partner's eyes.”

Not that I needed to, but I turned to examine Shaw's, which seemed to be a brighter blue today for whatever reason. “I've always loved his eyes. That shade of blue reminds me of the sky and sea, two things my hometown has plenty of. The sky, the ocean…You know, they're both so vast, their reach so far and deep, that I think of endless possibilities. That's the reason the color has always been my favorite.”

“Do you think maybe you've subconsciously seen the same in Shaw? Endless possibilities? Home?”

I'd never considered it, hadn't ever read that much into it. “Yeah, I suppose it's possible.”

“And Shaw, what does the color green represent for you?”

“Damn, Doc. You're getting deep on this color thing, aren't you?”

Jeremy just grinned victoriously, nodding for Shaw to answer the question. I already knew what he'd say. Green was the color of money, after all. And Shaw loved to make lots of it.

Shaw sighed as if he was being forced to admit something he hadn't wanted to. “Green reminds me of the spring. I guess maybe I like it because that's a time when everything is refreshed, sort of reborn with new life. Does that make sense?”

My jaw fell open and I turned to gawk at him, astonished by this deeper side of Shaw Matthews that I'd never seen before.

The sound Jeremy made was almost like a pat on the back, as if a theory had been proven. “Yes, that makes perfect sense. Now, I'll ask you the same question as I did with Cassidy. Do you think maybe you've subconsciously seen the same fresh start in her?”

Shaw turned to me. “My life certainly has changed since I met her. She's my first relationship, the mother of my firstborn, and the first person I've ever had any real feelings for. So yeah, I can see the correlation.”

Scribble, scribble, scribble, and then a push of his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Excellent! Let's move on. Tell me about the best vacation you've ever taken together.”

Shaw tilted his head in thought. “Huh. You know, I don't think we've ever been on a vacation. Not a real one, anyway.” He looked to me as if asking whether I'd realized that. I hadn't, but it was no big deal, so I shrugged indifferently. “After the draft,” Shaw said. “We'll take one after the draft.”

I nodded in agreement.

“Oh, you definitely should. Couples need a timeout every now and then to regroup.” Jeremy wrote something and then scanned the pad in front of him for his next question. “Where was your first date?”

Shaw and I looked to each other. I was sure my expression was just as dumbfounded as his in my perplexity. “We've never,” I stopped to clear my throat. “We haven't ever really been on a date,” I admitted. It was the truth. Sure, we'd eaten together, but that was more out of necessity than a date-type situation.

“Really? That's interesting.” Jeremy crossed his legs at the knee and then sat forward with his forearms crossed over the lower part of his top thigh. “Tell me why that is.”

I shifted under his scrutiny, aware that Shaw and I had never been what was considered a normal couple. “Well, as you know, our relationship started as coworkers and advanced into something a little more competitive, which naturally put us at odds with each other.”

“Yes, we discussed that there was no love lost between the two of you in the beginning.” He steepled his index fingers and touched them to his lips. “But what about afterward, as your feelings grew?”

Shaw tagged in on that one, sitting forward as if to drive home the point he was about to make. “We went from being ‘
enemies with benefits,
' I suppose you'd say—you know, always at each other's throats even when we were trying to get down each other's pants—” he explained, “to being in love, then finding out Cassidy was pregnant, and straight to moving in with each other after that. There was never any time for dating, and it didn't seem necessary by that point.”

“So you went from zero to a hundred with no buildup in between? You were never friends?”

“I don't think that's true. I mean, I think we always had a mutual respect for each other.” Shaw sat back, a retreat I'd have said was barely noticeable, but nothing about body posture seemed to ever get by Jeremy.

As expected, he made a note on his pad. “Respect is not the same thing as friendship, though, is it?”

“No, I suppose not. But, hey, look.” Shaw got animated. “A friend puts your ass in check when you need it, right? Cassidy did that to me all the time. Still does.”

He pitched a good point, so I caught the ball and ran with it. “Yeah. And they support each other, as well. When I had to go back to my hometown in Stonington, and Shaw followed…well, let's just say I was going through some things, and Shaw was sort of my savior during all of that. Even when my town got destroyed by a hurricane, Shaw stayed to help with the cleanup.”

Jeremy nodded, making even more notes. “You're certainly defensive of each other, as friends tend to be.”

Shaw reached over and took my hand, linking our fingers together in a show of solidarity. “No one knows me like Cassidy does. Maybe that's because no one else really knows me at all. She's the only person I've ever let see the real me, and maybe that wasn't by choice—she's as nosy as they come—” he added with a teasing tone, “but she was the only person who ever cared to pry. She isn't just my friend; she's my best friend.”

“I'm a firm believer that friendship is crucially important to the success of any relationship, so I'm really glad to hear you say that.” Jeremy looked down at his notepad and read from it. “Tell me, Shaw. Which do you think Cassidy is likely to say was the one day of your relationship she would
least
like to experience again?”

Shaw didn't even hesitate. “Oh, that's easy. The day I almost drowned.”

I could see why he'd think that, but he was wrong. “That's not true, actually,” I told him. “You know, as scared as I was about your near-death experience, that was also the day I really knew that I loved you. I'd relive that feeling over and over again, even though that, too, scared the crap out of me.”

Shaw's voice was tender. “Really? You never told me that, sweetness.”

I nodded, the moment coming back to me with perfect clarity, how terrified I was that I'd teetered over the thin line between lust and love. “I remember the exact moment. It was while you were making love to me that night. Maybe it was even before then and I'd just suppressed it because that wasn't how things were supposed to have been between us.”

“Yeah, my feelings for you had caught me unaware, too.” Shaw lifted my hand to give it an affectionate kiss. His lips were warm and soft, lingering for as long as his gaze did on my face. That was my Shaw, the man I'd fallen head over heels for.

“That's how it usually works,” Jeremy interjected. I'd been so caught up in the moment with Shaw that I'd almost forgotten he was there. “When we're not looking for love, it usually finds us.” He looked down at his watch and then back up with a smile. “Ready for the next question?”

“Shoot,” Shaw said as I nodded.

“Okeydokey! Shaw, when Cassidy says, ‘Honey, they're playing our song,' what song are they playing?”

“Um…” Shaw's brow furrowed, and he turned to me with all sorts of “help me out here” in his expression. “I don't think we have a song.”

We didn't. How in the world did we not have a song? Didn't every couple?

My eyes shot wide, panic over two, back-to-back failed answers making me desperate to pull out a win. “Shaw's favorite genre of music is R-and-B from the eighties and nineties,” I blurted out, holding out a finger and then another as I ticked off a list of facts. “His favorite artist is Jodeci, and yes, that surprises the heck out of me, too. And his favorite song is ‘Purple Rain' by Prince.” After last night's cram session, I'd memorized all of those details.

Dr. Sparling looked up at me from over the rim of his glasses and then gave me a kind smile. “Not exactly what I asked, but it's nice that you know all of those particulars, Cassidy.” Pen, paper. Uh-oh, busted. “Since you do, how about if you tell me what Shaw's favorite food is?”

“Abby's cookies!” I announced, plenty proud of myself.

“Hell yeah!” Shaw exclaimed. He rubbed his belly, and I could imagine his mouth watering by the way his eyes rolled back into his head. “Aw, man…they're the best in the world, Doc. Wish I had some now.”

“Chocolate chip?” Jeremy asked.

Shaw nodded. “Melts in your mouth.”

“Sounds delicious. And what is Cassidy's favorite food?”

“Umm…” Shaw looked toward the ceiling as if searching for the correct answer.

Come on, Shaw. We went over this
. My brow crinkled as I mentally willed the right answer toward him, as if telepathy were a skill I possessed.

“Oh! Lobster!” He sported a childlike grin in expectation of approval.

Approval that would not come because that was the wrong answer. I shook my head in disappointment and withdrew my hand from his. “Nope. I don't even like seafood.”

“But you're from a fishing village, and your pops is a fisherman, so I just assumed—”

My eyes narrowed, disappointment turning into aggravation. Even if we hadn't spent all night going over this crap, he'd never seen me eat any sort of seafood, so that showed me just how well he paid attention. “You assumed wrong.”

“It's really not that big of a deal. Sometimes we miss these little details,” Jeremy said, jotting away in his notebook. Strange that he should feel the need to jot down a “not that big of a deal.” “Now, Cassidy, please fill in these blanks: Shaw may be the world's best blank, but he may also be the world's worst blank.”

“Shaw may be the world's best…lover,” I said, watching his head grow about ten times its normal size, “
but
he may also be the world's worst…partner.”

My lover/partner growled, and there was nothing sexy about it. “How'd I know
that
was eventually going to come up?”

Again, Jeremy leaned forward, intrigued by the response. “What do you mean, Shaw?”