Coming Clean (8 page)

“Slow down, honey, it’s okay.” Vivi’s gentle cheering made him grin. This wasn’t anything he could have ever imagined sharing with her but it felt good knowing she was here, her hand never straying from his back. “No one ever manages to take it all the first time.”

“Wise woman,” Cade panted, his wide eyes sparkling. “Although at the rate you’re learning, that’s debatable. That was…Damn, Grant.”

Pride flushed his face. “What was it you said to me? I just want to make you feel good.”

“Goal accomplished.” Cade cast his eyes to the side, glancing at Vivi, then ran his thumb over Grant’s lip. “Hey, want to play ball?”

The meaning behind those words pummeled his stomach with jitters and his cock twitched in need. Nothing that had happened so far tonight had scared him or made him uncomfortable, but his ass clenched out of instinct. Part of him admitted he was curious but he’d considered himself straight for thirty-seven years. This step was a huge one.

“Yeah. You want to pitch or catch?”

Cade sat up, dragged his mouth across Grant’s and nipped his lip. “You’ve had a lot of firsts tonight. Let me catch.”

A relieved exhale blew out before he could catch it. Cade squeezed his arm. “Hey, relax. Let’s forget it. It’s not worth yo—”

“No. Just because I’m not ready to…I want you, Cade. I think I always have.”

Something closed Cade’s eyelids, and his stuttered breath sounded almost like a sob. He pressed his mouth to Grant’s. For a long minute, neither of them moved, some kind of wordless bond stitching them closer. Only the plastic click of a cap flipping open raised Cade’s head to look at Vivi.

He turned back to Grant with a roguish smirk curving his lip. “Just remember it’s been a while for me, and you’re no wee willie. How do you want me?”

Amazed he hadn’t had a heart attack from the force of his heartbeat, Grant drew a deep breath. “On your knees.”

He reached for the small bottle Vivi had pulled from the nightstand drawer and stopped, staring at her. Cheeks flush with passion and eyes wide with excitement, she captured his heart once again. A bright pink mark on her neck still carried the imprint of his teeth, and her peaked nipples shone with dampness from Cade’s mouth. She tucked a foil packet in his palm then kissed him, slicking her tongue across his lips before diving into his mouth. Grant snaked his arm around her waist and hauled her to his chest. The feel of her pressed tight, her soft breasts into his chest, her stomach and thighs next to his, strengthened their bond.

“Love you,” he breathed against her tongue.

“Love you back.” She caught his bottom lip in a sharp bite before sliding away with a wink. She settled onto the pillows and opened her arms. Cade dove into them, taking her lips in a scalding kiss. Grant tossed the empty foil in the direction of the can, dropping the contents between his knees. Cursing, he snatched it up and rolled the condom down his shaft.

God, he hadn’t shaken this much when Jenny Albright said yes in her basement back when his main goals in life were losing his V-card and getting his driver’s license. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. This wasn’t that out of the ordinary. His sex life was fairly active. Even anal sex wasn’t that uncommon. But this, it was monumental and life-changing at the same time.

The smooth line of Cade’s back waited in front of him, and he fixed on the strangest thing—not the sleek skin across Cade’s shoulders, the sculpted muscles of his ass, or the shady valley between his cheeks, but the thin scar on his hip.

“I’ll always cover your ass, Grant. And you cover mine. It’s just how things work between us.”

Grant’s bones stopped rattling. All the anxiety left and he stared at the back of Cade’s golden head. Tucked close to Vivi’s, the two of them were whispering something which made them laugh. The ease and comfort they shared, always full of teases and laughter, hadn’t changed just because they’d made love. It was still there. For Vivi and Cade…and for Cade and him. This was just how things worked between them. They would always be friends. Friendship was one thing but this, this was more. It was deeper, richer.

Acceptance settled like a warm shower. Grant was still the man he’d been when he woke up this morning, just one with a different experience and a newfound understanding of himself. Nothing, no action—sexual or otherwise—could change that, could change how he felt about those he loved. It would only free him to express that emotion in new and thrilling ways.

He crawled up Cade’s back. The warm firmness of Cade’s ass cradled his cock as Grant kissed a line up his spine. God, would Cade be this hot inside? Even just pressing to the hard curves of his ass felt incredible. He nipped a strong shoulder then nuzzled Cade’s neck. “What are you two whispering about?”

“Who, us?” Vivi’s voice dripped innocence and she grinned at Cade.

Cade nudged his head back playfully, knocking into Grant’s skull. “We’re planning naughty things to do to you at the cabin.”

Wheat-gold hair fluttered under Grant’s chuckle. He rocked his hips forward, gliding his erection between Cade’s cheeks. “I have a few naughty things left to do tonight. Move back here.”

Grant sat back on his heels, filled his palm with the massaging oil and slicked his shaft with a few fast strokes. Cade kissed Vivi once more then climbed to his knees and elbows. “Do me a favor and use som—oh!”

Two slick fingers swirled gently inside Cade’s tight opening and Grant leaned over his back, brushing his mouth against warm skin. “I know what I’m doing on this end, trust me.”

“I do. God, that feels good.”

A bit more oil, a few more thrusts and Cade began swaying back to meet his hand, the firm ring of his ass squeezing Grant’s fingers. Cade’s low hum spiked Grant’s hunger. His balls were hard with need, his cock thick and aching to sink into the clinging heat.

Vivi sat with wide eyes, her tongue darting out to her upper lip. With a fast wiggle, she slid down the sheet and scooted under Cade’s body. Grant angled his head to watch her frosty pink nails cup Cade’s nuts. A long tuft of auburn hair moved on the sheet. She was sucking Cade’s cock.

His blond head snapped back with a groan. “Please, I’m ready. God, Grant, do it. Fuck me.”

Grant eased his fingers away and fisted his cock, resting it against the tight ring. Even sheathed, the tip was dark against Cade’s paler flesh. With slow, steady force, the blunt head wedged firm, then sank inside. Cade flinched and Grant froze. A loud breath whooshed out and Cade nodded, the tension disappearing as he relaxed. The crown popped inside Cade’s ass and he moaned.

“Slow, Grant.”

“Slow as you need, babe.” Grant clenched his jaw. Somehow, Cade tilted his hips back, opening to him. Pleasure coiled in his gut. The oil eased the way and liquid heat surrounded his cock as it slid deeper, inch by burning inch. “Take me, Cade, that’s it. Take all of me.”

His fingers clamped on Cade’s hips until he was fully inside, their balls pressed together. He didn’t move, just reveled in the soaking warmth of Cade’s ass gripping tight. His chest rose and fell with his rapid breath. He bowed over Cade’s back, laying his forehead on his spine. “Okay?”

Cade’s voice shook with gruff desire. “You have no idea how long…You feel so good inside me.”

“You feel…incredible.”

One small retreat and Grant reseated himself. A sizzle of lust skittered across his skin and he pulled back farther, delved deeper and repeated it. Cade moaned, pushing back into the thrusts. Vivi’s deft touch curled around them both. Her fingers teased his balls, Cade’s ass hugged his shaft, and Grant surrendered to pure sensation. His hips drove with a frantic intensity, slapping at Cade’s ass with a pounding rhythm. He heard the animalistic grunts coming from his mouth but was powerless to stop them. Nothing penetrated his mind except the maddening erotic friction on his shaft.

A soft sound opened his eyes, then they widened. Vivi was no longer under them. Cade’s hands were cupping her ass, lifting her pussy to his mouth. Sharp white teeth dug into her bottom lip as she surged up into his intimate kiss. Grant’s strokes grew shorter, harder, forcing Cade’s tongue into her glistening slit. Her hands shot into his golden hair and her head arched back, a shiver racking her thighs. Whimpers poured from her, the honeyed tones spiraling through Grant. She was so responsive, it wouldn’t be long until she peaked, coming on Cade’s tongue again.

He grasped Cade’s shoulder with one hand, guiding his hips with the other, and tugged him harder onto his cock. Cade used his inner muscles to grip Grant’s driving cock. A quiver raced up his spine. It wouldn’t be long until Cade made them both come. Sweat dripped down Grant’s face as he struggled to last, to bask in this new and ecstatic level of connection.

A high-pitched keen split the air. Vivi’s heels dug into the bed and she arched. It wasn’t until then, when he had a better view, that Grant realized Cade had one finger deep in Vivi’s ass, mimicking his thrusts. A heated wave swamped him, watching Cade lick and suckle her slit. She collapsed back, rolling to her side and closing her knees. Completely spent, she gasped for air.

Cade pushed up on his hands and sat back, propelling Grant deeper than ever. “Jesus, Grant, don’t stop. Harder!”

Grant wrapped his arms around Cade’s belly and pulled him up onto his knees. “You like this? You like me in your ass? You are so hot, so tight. You’re going to make me come inside you.”

“Yes!” Cade grabbed for his cock but Grant’s hand was already there, pumping him with quick, twisting strokes. “Don’t stop, oh God, oh God…”

Grant never slowed his relentless thrusts or his hand’s speed. Cade’s entire body jolted, the ringed muscles in his ass squeezing in an almost painful clench. In his palm, Cade’s shaft throbbed, and an arc of milky liquid spurted onto Vivi’s leg. His cry was raw and powerful and carried Grant’s name.

Grant’s orgasm hit with a stunning force, and fire flashed in his veins. The threads of his control snapped. His balls spasmed and he buried his face in the curve of Cade’s neck, the words torn from his throat.

“Coming…Cade…love you.”

Cade snapped the bathroom light off and walked into the bedroom. The earthy aroma of sex hung in the dimly lit air, and the hushed murmurings of lovers wafted from the bed. The soft whisper of his name tightened his throat. Dipping his head, he snagged his shorts from the floor and yanked them on.

“Hey,” Vivi cooed. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“It’s late. We better get some sleep.”

She sat up, sheet tucked around her breasts, hair draped over one shoulder, and scowled at him. “So where are you going?”

Cade tongued his cheek, striving for a calm, neutral tone. “The guest room.”

“Get your ass in this bed and shut up.” Grant’s sleep-coated voice was gruff.

Cade rubbed the back of his neck and gulped a sigh. “I just think you two should have some time alone. Doesn’t mean we can’t play again at the lake. We have a whole week ahead of us. But let’s keep some boundaries.”

Cotton whisked on cotton as Grant slid up, shoulders propped on the headboard. He frowned, one dark brow slanted lower than the other.

Vivi wasn’t so quiet in her displeasure. “Cade Harrison Lorens, get your butt in this bed and stop arguing with me.”

The sigh couldn’t be held back any longer and blew out loudly. He took three steps to sit on the side of the mattress, facing them. “Look, I loved everything that happened tonight, okay? But I think you two should be alone, make sure things are all right with you guys. Let’s play it kind of loose and open.”

“Why?”

Vivi’s shrillness grated on his ears and he winced. He was fucking this up. He had to pull back. Dreams he refused to acknowledge for years had been handed to him on a platter, and the temptation to make more out of this experiment churned inside him.

“Viv, things can get mixed up, distorted after sex, that’s all. It’s easy to think and feel ways that aren’t real in the light of day. I don’t want that to happen with us.”

“Don’t leave.” Grant crossed his legs and leaned forward, sheet loose around his hips. “That’s like taking a step backward.”

“Maybe we need to step back,” Cade spat with more heat than he intended.

Vivi’s lip trembled, her brows rounded in question. She gripped Grant’s hand like a lifeline.

Cade instinctually rubbed her knee, wishing he could make her understand. “I mean,
I
need to step back, get some perspective, that’s all.”

“Are you sorry?” Her whisper stabbed at his belly.

“No. I’m not.” Floundering, he looked to Grant. “You know what I mean, right?”

A scrutinizing look narrowed Grant’s dark eyes and he angled his head. A slow curl lifted the left corner of his lip. “Yeah, I know. Third wheel syndrome or whatever.”

It was a little more blunt than he would have said it but Cade ducked his chin, focusing on a wrinkle in blanket. “Normal, I think. You two are married and I do
not
want to mess that up.”

“St. Cade, the martyr and patron saint of holy matrimony.”

There was no sneer in Grant’s tone, just amusement, but it scraped against Cade’s raw emotion with a bloody sting. “Fuck you, Grant. I’m trying to be an adult here.”

A look passed between Vivi and Grant, a secret communiqué that solidified his resolve. It always pressed a bittersweet weight inside him when they caught each other’s gaze and smiled those secret smiles. It was a silent reminder that no matter what, he was an outsider.

Vivi rose to her knees, the sheet slipping to her waist, and wrapped her arms around Cade’s neck. She ignored her bare breasts pressing into his chest and he tried to do the same. This wasn’t a sexual hug, just one of friendship and easy comfort like they’d always shared. If her scent, the heady fruited smell of lotion, woman and sex enchanted him, well, that was just something he would have to learn to deal with. It would be one of those memories for private times in the future.

He shelved it with the million other things he’d learned today—the flush of Vivi’s pink folds ripened from his mouth, the silken slide of her tongue along his thigh, the sound of Grant’s reflexive declaration in orgasm. That automatic murmur had ripped into his chest and propelled his climax to sheer joy. Grant probably didn’t even realize what he’d said. No doubt he’d been whispering
I love you
to Vivi for a decade or more so his tongue just took off, spouting nonsense words in the white-hot heat of the moment. It didn’t mean anything.

But Cade had captured that breathy groan and locked it away. It had been said and he’d keep it for himself until the day he died.

“Cade.” Vivi brushed the hair away from his forehead. “We don’t want you to leave our bed, honey.”

Honey.
She called Grant “honey,” not him. And Grant had called him “babe.” A befuddled shudder shook his brain and he stared at Vivi. Her face was open and bright, damp hair curled around her temples. Something glimmered in her eyes, a secret he almost knew but was afraid to fully think. A strong hand clamped on his leg, again not sexual, but familiar.

“She’s right, man. We want you to stay.”

“Listen to me.” He had to bust this bubble they were blowing, bring reality in before they all ended up hurt. Cade tugged Vivi’s hands from around his neck, squeezing her arms gently. He looked from her to Grant, words and thoughts battling in his head, fighting for dominance in his mouth. “I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to look at your wife and suddenly realize some other guy’s been fucking her. It’s not just sex. It’s other stuff…like sleeping in your bed, things are supposed to be reserved for just the two of you. When you’re married, everything—every secret, every dream, every fantasy—is supposed to be sacred but sometimes, when it sours, all that private stuff gets thrown in your face like shrapnel. I don’t want to be the reason you two start having trouble. Your bed is for you two. Playing is fine. Let’s keep it that way, okay? Just play.”

“What if we want more?” Vivi challenged.

Cade stomped hard on the heart that leapt in his chest, firmly keeping that idealistic dream from surfacing. He cupped her face, smoothing his thumb over the apple-roundness of her cheek. “No, Viv. A little distance can be a good thing.”

“But not a little lie,” she tossed back.

“How am I lying? By telling you a truth you don’t want to hear?”

Vivi ran her hands through her tangled hair in frustration. “This makes no sense. You’ll fuck me but won’t sleep beside me?”

“No, I won’t.” Cade hated the harshness in his tone but knew no other way. “Casual is the only way this can work.”

“You are so full of shit,” Grant scoffed.

Cade’s head whipped around and his brows crashed together. “What? I’m trying to keep things in perspective here.”

“No, you’re putting up a good front and lying to yourself.” Grant snapped the sheet back with a sharp crack. Vivi reached for him but he shrugged her off and grabbed his shorts. The trim muscles of his ass flexed as he jerked them up. “I hated being a fuck buddy when I was single and I’ll be damned if I end up one with you.”

Defensiveness ripped from Cade’s mouth. “Hate to break it to you,
buddy
, but you crossed that line when you dropped your pants.”

“The hell I did,” Grant snarled. His hard muscles trembled in anger, in frustration, in raw exposure. His voice dipped so low it cracked. “A fuck buddy is nothing but a piece of ass. Is that all I am to you, Cade? Is Vivi? Because you sure as hell are more than that to us.”

If you only knew.
The vulnerability in those coffee eyes stripped Cade’s shaking shields away and he turned his head, unable to look at Grant. Maybe a ménage wasn’t such a good idea. As much as he enjoyed it, cherished it, it brought too many jumbled emotions too close to the surface for comfort. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, fighting a looming headache, but it was pointless. The pounding behind his eyes wasn’t pain, it was fear.

Cade steeled his jaw, forcing his mind to function and his pulse to slow down. “I don’t understand what you want from me.”

“Nothing but what you’ve already given us,” Grant whispered.

“Come here.” Vivi pulled Cade’s hands and he allowed her to lead him, his mind too numb to fight her. She held her other palm out to Grant. “You, too. Lose the caveman attitude and get over here.”

Grant resisted for a heartbeat then his shoulders slumped and he blew a harsh breath away. He crawled into bed beside her with his dark brows angled tight and low. Cade reclined against the headboard. Vivi, her hand casually resting on his thigh, sat between him and Grant with a calm serenity around her. Lamplight bathed across her rosy skin, the sheen kissing her cheeks and nose with a golden glow.

She laced her fingers with his. “Talk to me. Why do things have to change now?”

“Viv, things
have
changed. Sex always changes things.”

“But not always for the worse.” Grant toyed with the sheet edge, avoiding looking up. “It made things better, deeper, for me and Vivi. And if you want to get technical—” Grant raised his head and looked directly into his face, “—our first encounter happened as teenagers and we’re better friends now. I can’t imagine my life without you, Cade. I don’t want to.”

Cade’s heart slammed into his tonsils. He grew lightheaded. His anchor became Vivi’s touch, her fingers stroking up his leg.

Her voice came from far away, muted by the roar of blood rushing to his head. “The choice is yours. If you need to leave this room, we understand, but we both wish you’d stay and give this a chance.”

Cade’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and he had to pry it away to speak. “Give what a chance? A continuing threesome?”

Vivi’s mouth quirked sideways then tilted upward. “I don’t know what exactly is happening here but I do know one thing with absolute certainty. The three of us, together, whether in bed or out, are a good thing. I don’t want to put labels or limitations on it, but we want to be more than friends, more than casual lovers.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Grant shrugged. “We’ll just take one day at a time, play it by ear. Trust us. Stay.”

The fear slipped away. It wasn’t that huge of a step but it was a pure leap of faith. He had faith in Vivi and Grant. If any three people could make this work, they could. Even if they couldn’t, they could survive it.

One for all and all for one.
Wasn’t that the way things had always been? Now there was a new level of intimacy, a deeper connection to strengthen an already cemented bond between them. That intimacy was a frightening, daunting place, but he wasn’t alone. He had them.

A timid smile itched at his mouth and he let it loose, feeling it widen when he looked up. Vivi and Grant, his best friends, his lovers, the two who made him complete, waited with hopeful eyes. Unable to speak, Cade wrapped his fingers around Vivi’s hand, brought it up and pressed his lips her palm. The simple move made her laugh. Her mouth crashed onto his. His bones trembled. He laughed with her, feeling her lips vibrate.

“Okay, one day at a time. I can do that. So I guess I’m staying.” He grinned at Grant. “You snore and I’m kicking your ass to the couch.”

“Don’t be hogging the blankets.” Grant nudged his calf.

Cade playfully kicked him back and dropped a kiss on Vivi’s temple, squeezing her tight. Hope was a powerful force. Pressed close to his chest, she had to hear the pounding of his heart. “Hey, if two people are a couple, what are three?”

Grant’s jaw shifted with thought. “A triad?”

“A trio?” Cade guessed.

“A triangle.” Vivi’s answer was firm but tinged with the need for sleep. “Three lines, all connected, making one complete figure. But this line is worn out. Can we sleep now? All of us?”

Grant moved, flipping off the lamp and scooting into place beside Vivi. Cade slid down, tugged the sheet higher on Vivi’s hip, covering his legs as well. A chorus of goodnights and soft kisses passed around the bed. Sleep crept into the darkened room.

Just before he succumbed, Cade looked over. Grant’s eyes were closed, his foot touching Cade’s calf and his relaxed hand resting on Vivi’s hip. Her ass was snuggled into Grant’s groin and her cheek lay against Cade’s shoulder. Cade shifted just a little, enough that he could stretch his arm along the pillow to feel Grant’s hair.

All three connected. A triangle. He liked that idea. He fell asleep with a smile.