Coming of Age (12 page)

“I’m listening.”

“I didn’t want to leave.”

He snorted a disdainful sound. “Ever hear the expression, action talk, bullshit walks?”

She tried not to feel the sting of his words. “I didn’t want to leave, Max. That’s the truth.”

“Oh, then why did you?”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

He pushed away from the island. “That’s such horseshit. We always have a choice. You
chose
to leave. Just like you
chose
not to answer when I wrote or emailed. You
chose,
Livi. Chose your career. It meant more than me. Why can’t you just tell the truth?”

“That’s why I’m here, Max. And I am telling the truth. Leaving you was the last thing I wanted.”

“Then why did you?”

Olivia took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a moment, and let that day rush back into her mind, let the feelings overtake her. Then she started to talk.

August 2001

Olivia woke with a sense of dread. Saturdays were normally days she looked forward to. That was the day she and Max usually spent the entire day together, and more times than not, the night.

She usually woke, eager to jump out of bed and wait for him to arrive. Today was different. Today she had to tell him she was leaving.

Max had been arguing with his parents for week about going to UCLA. He didn’t want to go and they were insisting he go. He’d told Olivia he didn’t want to go, and until now she had not spoken either for or against it. She didn’t want to be a factor in his decision even though she knew she was the primary factor.

In fact, each day made her surer that it would be a mistake for him not to go. Max was smart and talented and there was no telling what he could accomplish. But he wasn’t going to do that walking in her shadow and if he went with her to New York that’s exactly what he would be doing.

She loved him and she wanted to be with him, but there was no way she was going to deny him the experiences of college and finding his own path. Max had to stand on his own. If she took that chance from him, she believed he would one day resent it and they would end up like his parents – living a life of tolerance but no passion, joy or love.

And yet, even as she knew she was making the right decision she wanted to change her mind. She didn’t know how she was going to be strong enough to walk away. How could she face endless days and nights, never seeing him, never touching or be touched by him? To never hear his laugh or see what he was feeling shining in his eyes?

How was she going to survive that?

She didn’t know, but she knew she had to. For him. Olivia groaned and pulled the covers up over her head. She wasn’t ready to face this day. Not at all. She’d never be able to tell him she was leaving, that it was over.

God, there had to be another way.

Suddenly she sat straight up. Damn, had she gone stupid lately? She’d been agonizing over something she could fix. Lots of people had long-distance relationships. Why couldn’t she and Max? His parents would never know if she flew to California to see him, or bought him a ticket to New York.

Yes! Suddenly she was excited about the day. The old saying was wrong. It
was
possible to have your cake and eat it, too. Her mind was in a whirl, thinking about the weekends they would share, all of the sights and sounds they would experience together, all the nights they’d lie in each other’s arms.

The doorbell rang and she jumped up to throw on a robe. Leave it to Max to lose his key again. Last time they found it between the cushions of the sofa. She ran to the door and threw it open.

His father, Mike Clearman stood on her front porch.

“Mr. Clearman! Is everything okay? Has something—“

“I won’t take up much of your time, Ms. Warren,” he interrupted. “This is for you.”

She accepted the manila envelope he extended. “What is this?”

“It’s a complaint I will file to bring charges against you if you prevent Max from going to UCLA.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m prepared to go to the district attorney with accusations of statutory rape, child molestation, or sexual assault – anything I can get to stick – if you don’t leave my son alone.”

“Rape? I never—“

“I’m sure you didn’t. But you did take advantage of a boy’s feelings for your own selfish desires and now because of you he’s threatening to pass up an opportunity of a lifetime. I won’t let that happen, Ms. Warren.

“In case you’re not aware, sexual crime can be extremely damaging to a person's reputation, especially when the charges involve having sexual contact with a minor. You had sex with a minor and that can result in several charges, including statutory rape, child molestation, and sexual assault. Any of these chargers that result in a conviction carry strict consequences. You could be imprisoned and you’d be required to register wherever you go as a sex offender.

“I never had sex with Max when he was under age.”

His father leveled a hate filled look at her. “I may not get a conviction, Ms. Warren, but I’ll damn sure ruin your reputation and damage your career beyond repair. I promise you that. I’ll make it my life’s mission.”

She could see he was serious. He had her backed into a corner and she couldn’t see a way out. “What do you want, Mr. Clearman?”

“I want you to convince Max to go to UCLA. Tell him anything you want, just get him to go. And once he does, don’t ever see or contact him again.”

“And if I do?”

“I’ve got a number of years before the statute of limitations runs out on that,” he gestured to the envelope in her hand. “And I won’t hesitate to use it. I’ll ruin you, Ms. Warren. When I’m done, you’ll be lucky to get a job shooting porn. Do you understand?”

Olivia didn’t know what to say. She simply nodded.

He gave her one last hard look then spun on his heel and walked away. Olivia watched him get in his car and drive away. Finally, she went back inside. She opened the envelope and extracted the shelf of paper inside.

It was all legalese but one thing was clear, he wasn’t bluffing. He was prepared to go to war against her. She had no idea if he could successfully have her prosecuted, but was smart enough to know that he was right when he said he could ruin her.

She looked up from the papers and looked around the room. Everywhere she looked, she saw a memory of Max. That’s when it hit her. That’s all she would have. In one week she’d say goodbye to Max and all she would have would be memories.

There would be no happily-ever-after for her.

The Present

Max stared at her for a few moments, took a step back and shook his head. “That’s a lie.”

“No, it’s not. Your parent would have done anything to keep you from being with me, Max. They…they thought they knew what was best for you. Your mother had come to see me, too. I told her I wanted you to go to New York with me. I’d pay for you to go to college and we could be together.

“I thought—I thought that maybe in New York things would be different, people would accept our age difference. Then she came to see me. She told me how she and your dad rushed to the altar when she graduated from high school. They couldn’t, wouldn’t wait. She was just recently eighteen and they snuck off and got married. Things were hard for them. She worked as a waitress while he was in college and in law school. They barely saw each other but they stuck it out – through law school and through six long years as an associate at a law firm. When he finally made partner they had a child, Max and vowed to stay together for Max’s sake.

“But she was never really happy. She’d missed out on so much – college and what not. He gave up his partnership in Raleigh and they moved to Matthews where he opened his own firm. They were together but not for much longer. They’d agreed a long time ago that once you graduated high school they would divorce.

“They didn’t want you to make the same mistake. They wanted you to go to college, explore, and find your own path. And they didn’t see that including me.”

His reaction was worlds away from what she’d hoped. His jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed and his face flushed. She wondered if he was going to speak and suddenly he exploded.

“You fucking liar! My parents love me. They’d never have done anything so heartless. They’d never have intentionally hurt me that way and you’re – you’re a liar and I want you to get the fuck out of my house. Now!”

“Max, I’m telling you the truth. I wouldn’t-“

“Get out!” He screamed. “I have my answers. You never loved me. You used me. I was a fool to believe in you. Get out!”

“Max, please.”

“Leave! I don’t want to hear you. I don’t want to look at you. I don’t want to know you exist. You’re dead to me.”

With that, he turned and stormed from the room. Olivia sat frozen in place for a few moments. She couldn’t believe that he thought she was lying. This wasn’t what she had imagined at all.

And it dawned on her that she was once again clinging to the tragic romance of Olivia and Max, trying to write an ending that wasn’t meant to be. She looked at the envelope lying on the island and started to pick it up and take it with her, but stopped. It had been meant for him. Let him do what he would with the truth. She’d come here to do what she knew she had to do. To tell him the truth. She’d done that. Now it was time for her to leave and go try and build a life for herself.

Chapter Eight

The Present

Three months had passed since the day Livi came to see him. It had taken Max a week before he was able to work on the screenplay, but he’d finished it. In one week, he’d start his book tour.

He looked at the copy of his book lying on his desk. For the first time since the day he’d written the first word he looked at it as a work of fiction. He’d been so wrong, so stupid. Everything he’d written was a fantasy. Everything except his own feelings. Those were all too real.

But even those were becoming manageable. As painful as it had been, her coming to see him and concocting such an elaborate lie had been the beginnings of his liberation. He was able to hate her, hate her for the lies, for never really caring and most of all for trying to turn him against his parents.

If only that damnable little niggle of doubt would leave his mind. His parents had split up before Thanksgiving of his first year in college. Today his mother was a year into her third marriage and his father had just celebrated his fifth anniversary to his second wife, a woman twenty-five years his junior and the birth of his daughter by that marriage.

Max shook his head as if the act would dismiss the doubt. His parents loved him and would have done anything for him. He would never believe they were capable of doing the things Livi claimed.

His eyes moved to the bottom drawer of his desk. That’s where he’d stuffed the envelope she’d left for him. He had not looked at it since the day she left. There was nothing there that would change things.

He cursed, stomped to the window, jammed his hands in his pants’ pockets, and stood rocking from heels to toes, staring outside. Why now? Why after three months was all this raising its ugly head to torment him? He thought he was moving beyond it.

He pivoted and stared at the desk drawer. Maybe whatever was in that envelope was the final step. Maybe once he looked inside it he could truly move on. He hurried to the desk, opened the drawer, and removed the envelope.

For a moment, he just stood there, holding it, feeling anxious. The anxiety spawned anger, anger that once again she had control. He ripped it open and dumped the contents on the desk.

Three envelopes and a handful of photographs stared up at him. He moved the photos on the desk, looking at images of himself ten years ago. Him in a suit at the reunion they’d worked, him in a tuxedo at the wedding in Wilmington, him on the beach in Wilmington and him in her bed.

Each image brought a stab of emotion that clawed at the wall of hate he’d worked so hard the last three months to build. With a snarl, he swiped them off the desk and flopped down in his chair, staring angrily at the envelopes.