Coming Undone (32 page)

Like two months ago. She threw herself at me, literally like jumped into my arms—you can ask Adrian, he saw it—and kissed me. I extricated myself. For like two seconds I kissed her, but it was more automatic than an actual romantic kiss.”

She frowned and narrowed her eyes at him. “I told her that even if she wanted you, she couldn’t have you.”

He grinned. “You’re right.”

“But she doesn’t. Want you. I mean, gah, that sounds mean even when, hello, you did not tell me about this kiss and that sort of makes me mad. I think she’s afraid of losing you and Erin. Of being displaced by me. I know it sounds very pop-psych, but she was halfway nice to me at the very beginning. The longer we’ve been together, the worse she’s gotten. I don’t need everyone to like me, but I don’t want to have this drama. I have enough drama. In the future, I’m going to have to not attend any events with Rennie if Raven will be there.”

“Come on, Elise, she’s not going to hurt anyone. She’s just upset. And totally out of line, yes, let me be clear. I’ll talk to her.”

“Why don’t I line up to have my kid exposed to some random woman’s crazy, hostile behavior? Is that a serious question? If so, you know where you can cram it. My kid had a father who would flip out on the drop of a dime for no apparent reason if it suited him. I won’t have her around that sort of instability.
I
don’t want to be around it either. I dealt with it enough for ten lifetimes and I won’t do it again. She’s something to you, but she’s nothing to me and she doesn’t want to be, so fine. But don’t ever imagine that I’d put my child at risk, because I won’t.”

His jaw unclenched and he sighed again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it like that. I’m also sorry I didn’t tell you about the kiss.

You just had a lot on your plate and I didn’t want to add to it with something that didn’t mean anything. I’m not interested. You know I wouldn’t . . . that I have no desire to be with anyone but you.

Right?”

“I don’t like that you didn’t tell me. I don’t like that it was used to hurt me. I want to understand why you and Erin care about her so much. I respect you both, so I’m clearly missing something when I deal with her and want to smack her upside her head. I’m not saying you can’t be friends with her, I don’t have that right, and frankly, I think that’s what she expects me to do.”

He laughed and kissed her. “You fit in just fine with us and we with you. You don’t have to like her, and if you’d prefer I not hang around her outside work, I can do that. It’s not unreasonable, and why wouldn’t you have that right? I’d be pissed if some dude kissed you.”

For some stupid reason, she liked hearing it. “You’re an adult.

You have to manage your own life. If I worried about every woman you came into contact with, I’d spend all my time worried. If you want to cheat, I can’t stop it. I’m leaving that choice up to you.”

My, how mature she sounded. If he cheated on her, she’d be devastated. She’d also kick his ass. But she’d be devastated while she did it.

“You’d spend all your time worried? Am I that much of a flirt?”

“No, you’re just very attractive on every level I can think of.

Good-looking, you have a great job, a great house, you’re funny and smart.” She shrugged. “What woman doesn’t like those things? You’re in a tattoo shop; I’ve seen the way people look at you. So shhh. But I can’t give over to worry. You’re an honorable man, so I have to simply trust you to make the right choices. I learned a long time ago, the hard way, that you can’t live anyone else’s life for them.

Ultimately, we’re all responsible for our own lives and the choices we make, or don’t.”

“I make the choice to be with you every day. Can’t say I’ve been sorry.” He traced one eyebrow and she sighed softly. “You’re a lot kinder than she gives you credit for. But . . . not a pushover either.”

“Some people mistake kindness for gullibility or being a pushover. If she tries to kiss you again and I see it, I won’t be as nice.”

He leaned in to whisper in her ear. “It totally turns me on to see you jealous.”

She turned, her mouth just shy of his. “Everything turns you on.

You’re fabulously easy that way.”

“Ha.”

“Indeed.”

26

Brody knocked on her door while balancing two bags of food and some coffee. She opened, and the fear and stress on her face went straight to his gut.

“Hey. I figured some breakfast might be warranted.” She let him in, and he moved past her parents to drop the bags on the table.

And then he hugged her, tight. “It’s going to be fine, baby. I promise you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she mumbled, and he marveled at how she bucked up, standing straight and smiling up at him. “Sorry. Got a bit maudlin. I’m glad to see you. Thanks for breakfast.”

“Erin sent Ben over with it all. He sends his love and so does Erin. She also says you have to call her as soon as you hear anything.” He looked around Elise to her parents and smiled. “Hey, you two. Have some food, please.”

Martine kissed his cheek idly as she passed by. Paul nodded his head and looked back to Elise, worry on his face.

“Rennie get to school okay this morning?” Brody put milk and sugar in a coffee and handed it to Elise. “Eat or I’ll tell Erin.”

She laughed. “You’d toss me under the bus?”

“To get you to eat? You betcha.”

She grabbed a bagel breakfast sandwich and took a bite. “Thank you. I’ll thank Erin myself later. Yes, Rennie got to school fine. She doesn’t really know what’s going on, and I want it that way. It took her a week to get over the interview she had to do with the expert.”

He wanted to see these people, to look into the eyes of the people who’d use a child the way they had. So he could punch them.

“You clean up nice.” She smiled, looking up and down.

“Meh. This is one of Ben’s suits.”

“Meh? You look very handsome.”

“So do you. I mean, you look beautiful. Responsible. That color is really pretty on you. Um, so although I know I look awesome in this monkey suit and all, I’d really like to go to court with you today. To be at your side. I won’t even punch either one of the Sorensons.” He drew a big X over his heart. “I promise.”

She wasn’t fast enough to hide the flash of surprise and the tears.

Her father handed her a handkerchief and she mopped up.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I just . . . I just want to be there for you and for Rennie. You’re my girls.”

“I’m not. Upset, that is. I’m just very thankful right now. For you and my parents, for my friends. I could have done this alone, I’d have survived. But I’m glad I didn’t have to. The Sorensons, they’re not nice people. You don’t have to expose yourself to that.”

Her mother gave an undignified snort, but her parents moved to another part of the living room to give them some privacy.

“I can handle not nice. I’m not feeling so nice toward them myself. They’re trying to make it out like I’m a bad guy. Like I don’t care about you or Irene. When I do. You’re safe with me. I want the judge to see that. Unless you think it’s bad. You can’t see any of my tats or anything.”

She hugged him tight. “Even if you could, it wouldn’t make you anything but what you are. A good man.”

“Your man,” he murmured against the silk of her hair.

“That too. If you’re sure, then yes, I’d appreciate the friendly face and the backup in there.”

Brody looked over her head, at her father, who sent him a nod of support. He’d do anything for her; he needed her to understand it, needed everyone to understand it. He couldn’t wait until this damned stuff was over with, so they could move forward. He wanted to tell her he loved her, he wanted to sleep at her side every night. He wanted all this external stuff stowed away so he could spend the rest of his days loving Elise and Rennie.

“They’re here already, inside the courtroom.” Frank motioned to the doors and Elise nodded. She was not going to let them intimi-date her. She was in the right. Rennie was hers and she wouldn’t let them take her. Period. If they had to come all the way to Seattle to finally get it through their heads, so be it.

“We figured they would be. They’ve got a team of lawyers, but it doesn’t matter, Elise. You’re going to be fine.” Bill smiled and she smiled back.

She would. She had realized, over the last year-plus that she’d been in Seattle, that she would be all right. She could handle it, had been handling it and would continue to do so. Brody was with her, at her side right then, supporting her. Her parents were there and she had right on her side. It would be enough. She had to hope it would be enough, because despite the lingering fear of losing her baby, she had to believe in justice too.

“This is Brody Brown. Brody, this is Bill Weston. You know his son of course, and Frank Childers. Brody is my, um . . .”

“I’m her boyfriend. Significant other, whatever you want to call it. But I’m hers and here to do whatever you need me to today.”

Brody shook hands with both men and then put his arm around her. Her parents greeted Frank, who’d only arrived late the evening before.

“Good. She’ll need you today. Let’s go in and get this taken care of.”

They were already seated when Elise walked into the courtroom.

Courtrooms had a particular smell, and it brought memories she’d rather have not experienced again. Still, she looked them both straight in the eye before sitting down. Fuck them, they had no right to do this to her or Rennie. She would not quail in fear. Or at the least, she’d keep her fear where they couldn’t see it.

Brody’s presence was as welcome as it had been a surprise. She needed him and he was there. It only made her love him more, and she made the decision that once all this court crap had been re-solved, she would tell him how she felt.

He sat right behind her, his presence at her back making her feel safe and secure. He stood for her and her child, and she doubted he knew how alluring that was. Her father squeezed her shoulder and kissed her cheek before sitting next to Brody and putting his arm around Elise’s mother as they all kept their eyes forward.

The rest of the morning was sort of lost in a series of surreal moments, like when Elise’s ex-mother-in-law stood up and screamed that Elise was a murdering whore and the judge blinked at her before rapping her gavel and sternly ordering the attorneys to get her under control.

Elise had to admit she felt disconnected, as if she watched the proceedings happen to someone else. She answered some questions the judge asked, clarified things, kept her calm even when she heard her father mumble under his breath in French. Bone deep, she believed everything would be all right. Now that she sat there, she just knew it.

They took a recess and the judge said she’d call them back for a decision. Brody hugged her in the hallway. “You all right?”

“I am. I feel very, I don’t know, settled? This is surreal, even though I’ve been across the aisle from them several times already.

I just feel very calm. I was scared earlier, but now? Not so much.

It simply has to end my way. There’s no other way for the judge to see it.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “That’s the way to look at it.

You did great in there. My god, how did you stand them for the years you were married to Ken?”

“Lots of wine.” She stepped back, squeezing his hand. “I’ll be right back.”

Once in the bathroom, she did her business and touched up her hair and lipstick. That’s when Bettina Sorenson walked in. Elise sighed and kept her hands busy so she wouldn’t punch the old bitch out.

“You think you have that judge fooled, don’t you?”

Elise looked her former mother-in-law up and down and moved toward the door, but the wraithlike woman blocked her way.

“Excuse me, I’d like to go out.”

“I don’t care what you’d like. You killed my son. I’m going to take your daughter. Over time I’ll twist her until she hates you the way she should.”

“You totally need a mustache to twirl when you say stuff like that. It’s total cardboard villain. I wonder, do you ever hear yourself speak? You don’t love Rennie at all, you just want to use her. Yes, I killed your son and you know why. I killed him, and while I feel bad for the Ken of those first years, I’d do it again. He was a threat to my child and I’d do anything to protect her. Now, get out of my way. I’m done here. I’m done letting you harass me and my family.

I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to encourage you and Rennie to have a relationship, but you view her as a tool with which to hurt me.

Just having to speak to you on the phone makes her physically ill and you don’t care. In fact, I think you like it.”

“Good. I’m glad it breaks your heart, the way mine was broken when you killed
my
son.”

“You never cared about Ken either. It’s easy for you to pretend now, now that he’s gone. But when he was alive you couldn’t be bothered. I loved him more than you ever did. But I couldn’t stop his descent single-handedly and you couldn’t be wrenched away from your bridge club to help. And now he’s dead. We’re both at fault there, but at least I can accept that. I loved your son very much.

Enough to make a child with him. I don’t think you can say the same.”

“Your love.” Bettina snorted. “You’re trash. Middle-class, foreign parents, an
artist
. He could have had any woman he wanted. I don’t need to love that child. You want her; that’s enough for me.”

Rage rushed through Elise at that moment. “You are the most vile woman I’ve ever met. Keeping in mind that your son brought crack whores to my home, let me assure you I’ve met plenty of vile women. Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”

“Or what?”

A toilet flushed, startling both of them. Bettina rushed out first, leaving Elise behind to catch her breath and try to keep her temper when all she wanted to do was slap the shit out of Bettina. As she left the bathroom, she noted the person coming out of the stall was the judge.

“Are you all right?” Brody asked, concern on his face as she returned to where they’d been waiting.

“Fine. Just had a run-in with Bettina in the bathroom.” All she could hope was that the judge didn’t think she was a cold-blooded killer. The argument in the bathroom had made her angry, yes, but it had also settled things inside her. She was right to be doing this; they didn’t care about Rennie at all. Once she got it all straight in her head, she might talk about it, but now, that shared moment of eye contact with the judge was something she held tight.