Command and Control (9 page)

And Todd was a few years younger than her, but he’d always seemed too wise. All the Wyatt men did. There was a reason their ancestor was the namesake for Wyattsville.

“Ah, shit, gotta go, Meg. Trevor’s coming my way. Think about what I said though.”

“I will. I promise.”

Megan hung up the phone a moment later and went to add a little more coffee to her mug for a warm up. She took a sip and walked back across her kitchen to glance out the window, which had a view of the small town below.

She could see the roof of Kate’s Cakes, knew the Wyatt brothers were in there right now eating breakfast. Her throat tightened and she closed her eyes. After Trevor had left, she’d been tempted to go back to bed and pull the covers over her head and not come out until she absolutely had to. But she’d been there and done that. And until a few days ago, she’d thought she’d moved on from that point in her life.

And now here she was again, the morning after having gone to bed with Trevor and everything was once more completely complicated.

Which left her at a crossroads. Either she decided last night was a mistake and shot down any possibility of a future with Trevor, which meant definitely not sleeping with him again. Or…she threw everything and the kitchen sink into making their relationship work this time.

Hear heart fought for dominance in the final decision, even if it was the one her mind rebelled against.

“Thank you for driving.” Megan fidgeted with her thumbs, casting a sideways glance at Trevor, who’d been uncomfortably silent since picking her up.

“No problem.” He didn’t smile, or glance her way, just replied flatly as he drove down the highway toward Costco.

“I don’t think my car would’ve held all the food we need or I would’ve driven.”

Again no comment, just a slight nod.

Megan bit back a sigh and stared straight ahead out the windshield. The sound of Metallica playing on his stereo at one time would have irritated her a bit, but right now it was a warm reminder of who Trevor was and all the good times they’d spent together.

“Whether you like it or not, Trevor, you did sleep with me last night. And not talking about it, or what happened this morning, isn’t going to change that fact.”

When he didn’t reply her stomach sank and she bit her lip, sneaking a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. His fingers had tightened around the steering wheel, his knuckles white from the grip.

“Trevor?” she prodded gently.

“Ribs.”

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I was thinking we could buy a bunch of ribs for the barbeque. Maybe some chicken.” His fingers flexed around the wheel. “Of course, if there’s some vegetarians at the—”

“Stop it!” she yelled, anger exploding hot in her belly. “We are
not
discussing food right now, we’re discussing us. Remember that part where you fucked me in my car? In the shower?”

“I remember, god damn it!” he shouted back tersely. “And I remember waking up nearly choking you. It shouldn’t have happened.”

The air rushed from her lungs, but she already knew the answer before she asked, “Which part?”

He shook his head. “Any of it.”

Megan stared at him, her jaw flexing as she fought the urge to get sick. “You’ve fought in a
war zone
. Maybe killed people and have seen people killed. You’re not a coward, Trevor, so stop acting like one now.”

She had to grab the
oh-shit
handle on his truck as he swerved to the side of the road and slammed to a halt. He grabbed her, hauling her across the seat so she was just inches from him.

“I
have
seen people killed. I
have
killed,” he raged, his eyes wild. “I hate that I don’t have control over anything anymore. What I am is a fucking mess, but I am
not
a coward.”

Tears sprung to her eyes, and she hated herself for hurting him, for prodding at his unhealed wounds. Hearing him confirm her fears only made the miserable ache in her stomach grow. But she couldn’t stop the honesty now that she’d broken the seal.

“But you’re being one when it comes to us, Trevor. I don’t even know how to talk to you anymore,” she said thickly, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. “I don’t know what to do. To say. Damn it, I don’t
know
. I’m not a therapist.”

Trevor stared at her and she saw the regret and pain flicker in his eyes, before his gaze hardened once more. “Yeah, well your boyfriend is. Maybe you should’ve spoken with him last night instead of sleeping with me.”

She flinched, but then looked away, out the window and into the mass of trees on the side of the road. “He’s not my boyfriend anymore. I’m not sure he ever was.”

“When?” he rasped. “When did it end?”

“During the bachelorette party. He showed up at the tavern.”

Strong fingers cupped her cheek, turning her head so she had to look at him.

“Good.” His head lowered and he kissed the tears that still lingered on her cheeks. “I hate the idea of you with anyone else, Megan,” he said raggedly, before his lips moved inward to brush tenderly over her mouth. A moment later he lifted his head and groaned. “But as much as I want you to stay with me—to choose me over any other schmuck out there, I can’t give you the life you want or be the husband you deserve.”

His words should’ve made her more despondent, killed any hope at them ever having a chance in hell at making it. But they didn’t. Her pulse was fluttering and optimism roared to life inside her. His words shed a bit of light on part of what had gone wrong with them.

I don’t have any control over anything anymore.
Her mind swirled a mile a minute with possibilities and she knew she needed to choose her words carefully.

Finally, keeping her expression unreadable, she settled on, “Ribs and chicken sound great.”

Trevor blinked and his brows drew together, his lips parting slightly. His eyes showed confusion and maybe disappointment. For a moment it looked like he was going to say something, but then he pressed his mouth tightly together and released her.

Letting her go, he turned forward once more, then shifted the gears and pulled off the side of the road.

Already making plans in her head, Megan closed her eyes and hoped like hell she could get through the next few hours without tipping her hand.

“Can I get you anything to eat, Trevor honey?”

Even though he was thirty-three years old and had been out on his own since he’d joined the army at eighteen, some things never changed. Trevor lifted his attention from the television and gave his mom a small smile.

“Thanks, I’m all right.”

“You’re sure? You barely ate breakfast, and you went to bed without dinner…” His mother sighed and sat on the couch next to him. “You’re worrying me, Trevor. Me and your father.”

He tried to stave off the irritation that threatened, because he knew his parents meant well. But, shit, maybe he should’ve just rented a room at the Wyattsville Inn for the time he was back. It was hard putting on a happy face day after day.

“I’m fine, Mom,” he promised and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, brushing a kiss across her forehead. “You guys worry too much. Where is Dad anyway?”

“Out fishing. You know that man during the summer. Can’t keep him out of the boat.” She laughed softly and gestured to the television. “What are you watching there?”

Hell if he knew. He’d been staring at the screen for the last half hour, but hadn’t seen shit. A knock at the door saved him from having to pull an answer out of his ass.

“Hmm. Wonder who that could be.” His mother stood. “Be back in a minute.”

Trevor scratched the back of his head and brainstormed ways he could get out of the house for a few hours. Ever since returning from the mini road-trip yesterday with Megan, he hadn’t wanted to do much but sit around and keep company with his misery.

From the moment in the car when he’d told her he could never be the man she needed, she’d closed off. Oh, she’d spoken to him throughout their trip, polite and to the point, almost like they were just acquaintances. Two people who hadn’t spent the night before screwing each other silly.

Deep down, he’d foolishly hoped she’d argue with him, do everything in her power to convince him that they were right for one another.

This was a good thing, he reminded himself harshly. It meant Megan was still the intelligent, practical woman he’d always known her to be. She’d probably regretted sleeping with him the moment the alcohol from the bachelorette party had worn off.

“Well, look who’s here,” his mother said brightly from behind him. “Megan dropped by.”

Chapter Eleven

Megan what
? Trevor blinked at the television before turning slowly to glance over his shoulder.

Sure enough, the woman who’d just been occupying his thoughts for the past twelve hours stood behind the couch with his mother.

Megan looked meticulous and sexy at the same time, wearing khaki pants that hugged her hips and ass so amazingly and ended at her calves, and a silky blue blouse that fell lightly over the curve of her breasts.

Thoughts of her riding his cock in the car the other night flitted through his head, and his jeans tightened as his flesh stirred to life.

“Good morning, Trevor,” Megan said brightly, a wide smile on her face and a playful twinkle in her eye. “Or is it afternoon?”

“I don’t have—”
any fucking idea what time it even is
, he’d been about to say, before remembering his mother was in the room. “I’m not sure honestly. What are you doing here?”

Her smile tightened and she gave a slight laugh. “Oh, now, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about our little outing?”

Outing? Was she serious? There hadn’t been any little outing planned. Or had there? He scanned his memory, trying to figure out if it was something from before they’d slept together. Before—

“Well, come on, lazy butt. Get up.” She strolled around the couch and grabbed his hand, tugging him to his feet. “I’ll help you pack.”

He tightened his fingers around her wrist, narrowing his gaze on her. “Pack?”

A slight flush stole up her neck and her gaze turned beseeching, before she glanced at his mom and gave an amused laugh.

“Must’ve had a wild time at that bachelor party the other night,” she teased. “In one ear and out the other. Come on, Trevor.”

Curious to see what the hell Megan was up to, he allowed her to lead him off to the bedroom he’d grown up in.

Megan released his hand immediately and began rummaging through his drawers, tossing a few items into his bag that sat next to it. When she bent over, her pants clung to her sweet heart-shaped ass and he bit back a groan.

Folding his arms across his chest so he wouldn’t reach out and touch her, he demanded, “What’s going on, Meg?”

“Oh, we’re going to make a run down to your cousin’s cabin over in Canyon Beach.” She straightened from zipping up the bag and gave him a small smile. “I figure we can get some lunch there, swim and beach walk. So beautiful down there.”

He shook his head. “Why are we going to my cousin’s?”

She gave a slight shrug and licked her lips. “Because he asked if we could use your truck to haul back a couple extra barbeques for Tyson and Ellie’s reception on Saturday. His car isn’t big enough.”

Taking a slow step toward her, he arched a brow. “And you didn’t think to call me? Ask me if it would be okay?”

Megan lifted her chin and met his gaze head-on. “I knew you might try and get out of it. Or at least insist that I
didn’t
come.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t.”

She glared at him. “You’re driving. I’m coming. Deal with it. Now we should probably head out since I said we’d be there at two.”

“Hell,” he muttered. “What the hell time is it?”

“Twelve thirty.”

He found himself glaring back at her. They’d always been like this, each one struggling for power.

“Good thing I already showered,” he finally said gruffly. “Let me use the bathroom and get my keys.”

Triumph flickered in her eyes and she gave a smug smile. “Great. I’ll go chat with Sally while you do that.”

Twenty minutes later they were in his truck, driving down 101 toward Canyon Beach. Neither of them had said a word, and after a while he got tired of listening to music even, so he’d shut off the stereo.

He cast a sideways glance Megan’s way. The oversized sunglasses she wore shielded her gaze, but her mouth was curved into a slight smile. She looked pretty damn proud of herself for some reason.

The sunlight filtering in through his truck windows made her hair seem even redder, shinier. So damn sexy as it curled over her shoulders and teased one breast. She’d unfastened the top button on her blouse after complaining it was too hot.

He jerked his gaze away from the curve of her tit, but it was too late to avoid the blood that rushed to his cock.

When he finally pulled up outside his cousin’s house, it was a relief to get out of the truck. To escape the sensual smell of her perfume, and to keep resisting the urge to smooth a hand down her thigh…maybe trace his fingers inward to find out if she was overheated their too.

“Come on, Trevor.” She winked at him and opened her door, grabbing their bags. “Time’s a wastin’.”

He swore under his breath. Why the hell was she so cheerful? She’d certainly gotten over the fact that he’d told her to move on to another guy fast enough.

Walking up the path to his cousin’s house, his brows drew together.

“Hey, I don’t see Ryan’s truck here.”

“Hmm. Yeah I guess it’s not,” she murmured and reached into her purse, pulling out a set of keys.

When she put it in the door and unlocked it, Trevor froze.

“Where the hell did you get those?” he demanded as she pushed open the door.

Before she could walk inside—and she’d been about to—he caught her wrist.

“Just what the hell is going on, Megan?”

She licked her lips and gave him a slow smile. “Todd gave them to me. Let’s go inside and we’ll talk.”

He didn’t release her or move. “
Todd
gave them to you? Where’s Ryan?”

“Inside first.”

His teeth snapped together, but he stepped over the threshold with a growl.