Commissioned In White (Art of Love Series) (13 page)

“Fighting never accomplishes anything but to let people vent. Venting is not my style. I prefer rational discussions and decision making. The only time I fight with Shane is when he starts pushing on me to do something he thinks I should for my own good. He doesn’t know everything, but you’d think he did by how bossy he acts at times,” Reesa said angrily.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard Shane being bossy,” Jillian said, surprised to find herself defending Shane.

“Stick around when he gets into one of his stubborn moods. I’m telling you, Jillian, being married is not easy. You have to get used to sleeping with a person, sharing a closet, and don’t get me started on bathroom time. Not to mention how hard it is having to get used to each other in front of a constant audience. There’s not exactly room for many private discussions between us, much less petty arguments,” Reesa declared.

“I can’t argue with your assessment of the challenges, but since when did you start playing the passive-aggressive role in your relationships? You wouldn’t play this nice with Addison if you thought he was pushing too hard on you,” Jillian said sharply. “I’ve heard you light Brentwood up for saying something you didn’t like. Why not Shane?”

Reesa sighed. “Shane is nothing like Brent.”

“No—and thank God,” Jillian said firmly, happy and sure of it. “So just tell me the truth. Do you regret marrying the man? You can trust me not to ever say it to him if that’s the case. I won’t go tearing strips off him over your answer either. I also double-dog swear not to beat you up because I know there really wasn’t any other choice at the time you agreed. I just want to know how you really feel about the man because I’m as worried as Shane is about whether or not you love him.”

Reesa sorted folded laundry into piles. She’d gotten so proficient at laundry, she thought she could probably do it blindfolded. Or run a laundry business, though that idea made her shudder. She looked back at Jillian and saw her friend waiting impatiently for an answer.

“Regret is the wrong word. I just wish it hadn’t happened so fast. I was in the process of falling in love with Shane, but I didn’t get to enjoy it before I had to shift into wife mode. I’m just trying hard not to be a bad wife,” Reesa said carefully.

“Which means you really love him?” Jillian demanded, her gaze holding Reesa’s earnest one, searching for the truthful answer.

“Which means I really love him,” Reesa agreed. “But can you imagine how controlling Shane would be if he knew how much I cared about keeping him happy?”

Jillian laughed, part relieved and part irritated as hell. “Well, I never thought I’d see this from you,” she said with smirk on her lips.

“What?” Reesa asked, offended at Jillian’s tone.

“You’re afraid to give the man real power over you, but you’re also afraid to lose him. You are ga-ga-gone over him, but you don’t want him to know yet. You’re purposely keeping him wondering,” Jillian decided. “And now I feel sorry for Shane. Shame on you. That arrogant man does not need my pity.”

Reesa rolled her eyes at Jillian’s drama. “You’re crazy. It’s not like that.”

Jillian laughed even harder. “You can tell yourself that all you want, but I’ve known you a long time, girlfriend. And I think emotionally stringing your uber-smart husband along would be the worst choice for a controlling-your-life strategy. What have you done to ever charm him? Or to show him how you feel? I haven’t seen it. Tell me—and you can’t count sex.”

Reesa stopped to think, blinked several times, and then realized what Jillian was saying was a fact of her relationship with Shane. She hadn’t really done anything to show Shane she cared. Outside of making herself sexually available, pretty much everything else in her life was about the kids.

“You think I’m being unfair?” Reesa asked.

“Unfair might not be the right word for what you’re doing, but that’s the gist,” Jillian replied.

“Do you think Shane is just going to keep pushing on me until he feels sure his love is reciprocated?” Reesa asked.

“I think even as cautious as you are, you could invest money on that fact and come out a winner,” Jillian said sardonically. “I also think anyone in Shane’s situation would do the same thing he’s doing. He’s rescued you. He’s tried to do everything he can, show you in every way he can, and you’re still playing hard to get because you’re afraid he might turn around and break your heart. I mean, that’s always the risk when you love someone, isn’t it?”

“I suppose you think I should do the whole traditional wedding thing too, don’t you?” Reesa demanded, piling stacks of clothes into the now empty laundry basket.

“That goes without saying,” Jillian said firmly. “It’s what you would have done if it hadn’t been for the custody hearing. But the wedding is just a start—that’s not all you need to do to hold your man.”

“What do you mean?” Reesa asked, her stomach doing flips thinking about all the things that had to be done to even make the wedding happen. What more could she face?

“You have to convince Shane that you love him. Find some genuine way not related to your quickie marriage or the kids to show him that you are with him because you want to be. The wedding alone is not going to get the job done,” Jillian said, crossing her arms.

“Why are you taking his side in all this?” Reesa demanded. “I feel like everyone in the world is in agreement with Shane.”

Jillian laughed and walked to Reesa, bending to hug her tightly. “Because he loves you and it’s obvious to the world, and because he’s right about wanting to make your marriage more real. I know somewhere still inside you is that starry-eyed girl who bought that beautiful wedding dress. You need to find her again. Let Larson marry that woman too.”

“I was younger than Shane when I bought that dress,” Reesa said, her eyes burning.

“Yeah, but he’s just as idealistic about you and him as you were about falling in love with the perfect guy back then. Let that love out, girl. Larson is the right one to give it to,” Jillian advised. “You know I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t believe it was true.”

Reesa nodded, but her throat was so tight she felt like she was choking.

“If the dress doesn’t fit, I’m not doing a wedding,” she finally said. “I can’t afford another one.”

Jillian looked down in her arms at Reesa’s still-tiny body after all the years she’d known her. “You might need some spandex to reshape things, but I’m pretty sure the dress will still fit.”

Reesa snorted and pushed away from Jillian—and her teasing. “Like you aren’t ten pounds heavier now.”

“Ten? God, I wish it was only ten pounds. You know I’ve gone up two full sizes in the last decade. You’ve hardly changed at all,” Jillian said.

“Let’s go try the dress on now while the guys are finishing the new entertainment center in the garage. Then I’ll know for sure before I talk to Shane,” Reesa said, holding a hand over her fluttering stomach. “The thought of a wedding still makes me ill.”

“Just don’t put me in typical Christmas colors,” Jillian said firmly. “Make it a nice maroon or pretty jewel tone instead. We’ll take the girls and go shopping next weekend. One of the bridal shops is bound to have something in stock we can use for me. And goodness, we have to find Sara a princess dress or you’ll never hear the end of it.”

Reesa laughed as they walked down the hall, reluctantly admitting to herself that she was feeling a little better after talking with Jillian.

Joe was coming in the front door with yet more tools in his hands. He’d already made several trips out to his truck and back.

“Thanks for talking to me, Jillian,” Reesa said, sighing over the contents of Joe’s full hands.

“I’m sure my crazy time is coming soon,” Jillian said with a grin and a shrug. “I’m probably going to fall in love with some totally inappropriate man and you’ll have to talk me out of it.”

“If you’re looking for an inappropriate man, put me on the short list,” Joe said, grinning at the arch look Jillian gave him.

“Inappropriate wouldn’t even begin to cover a description of you,” Jillian said, liking the belly laugh he answered her with.

“Jillian, me darlin’—you’re as radiant as an evening star lightin’ the midnight sky. Don’t be breakin’ the heart of a man who admires you so truly,” Joe said in his most dramatic Irish brogue.

Jillian pushed at his chest with a manicured nail. “You got a heart in there, Joseph?”

“I got all kinds of magical things in this body,” Joe said, moving past the women. “If you ever want to check any of them out, let me know.”

Jillian grinned as she watched Joseph walk down the hall to the garage. “Mom and Dad would have a heart attack if I brought a man like that home,” she said. “Then if they lived through the heart attack, they’d disown me forever—probably take me to court, like they did you.”

“You’re not really interested in Joe, are you?” Reesa asked, shocked.

Jillian snorted. “No. I’m playing with him. He’s not even close to hitting the bottom skin tone on my shade-o-meter. And those freckles and red hair? You’re cracking me up, girl.”

“Well, I didn’t expect to hook-up with a six-foot-four giant who has to pick me up so I can kiss him either,” Reesa said morosely. “Watch where you put your lips, Jillian. They can get you in trouble when they land on someone outside your plan.”

Jillian laughed then. “I will not be kissing Joseph, but that’s the funniest thing you’ve said to me in a while. Glad to see your sense of humor is returning.”

“It’s not my sense of humor. There’s a special vibe between you two, but maybe you’re both just really lonely,” Reesa said, trying to reason it out. “We need to get you two hooked up—not with each other of course.”

“I already have a plan for me,” Jillian said, knocking on the door of Chelsea’s room. “I’m getting ready to get real serious in my search. No more bar pickups. I’m going to find myself a good man online. I can discreetly stipulate skin color and all manner of preferences. Then I can scan the selection before I test drive. Lots of people I know do that and find people they eventually marry.”

Reesa shrugged. “I think I prefer the element of the unknown. Picking up Shane was a risk, but I’m going to remember that first night with him for the rest of my life, even if we’re together forever. Making that first connection with him really was magic. It’s been the basis for everything else.”

Chelsea opened the door to let them inside.

“We’re trying on the dress. I talked her into it,” Jillian said conspiratorially, knowing no further explanation would be needed for Chelsea.

Seeing the determination on her Aunt Jillian’s face and the fear on her Aunt Teresa’s, Chelsea closed her bedroom door behind them and locked it. She wasn’t even going to let Sara in.

When Reesa stepped into the dress, Jillian zipped it up and then stood back to inspect the result.

When Chelsea was able to close her mouth, she slid her mirrored closet door over so her bridal aunt could see herself.

Two seconds later, her Aunt Jillian was pressing a handful of tissue from the nightstand into her Aunt Teresa’s trembling hands. Her aunt had cried a lot since she known Shane, but they didn’t seem to be bad tears as far as Chelsea could tell.

“Don’t be getting tears on that dress,” Jillian ordered. “There’s no time to clean it before the wedding.”

“Aunt Teresa, you look
really
beautiful,” Chelsea said sincerely, finally finding the nerve to speak her thoughts about the dress, hoping her aunt was okay hearing it.

“It looks just as wonderful as it did the first time I put it on,” Reesa admitted, still sniffling. “Now get me out of it before I ruin it.”

Dress secure in its storage bag once more, they left Chelsea’s room a few minutes later. Reesa was still crying and wiping at her eyes, but was relieved that the flutters in her belly were mostly gone.

Shane and Joe happened to come out of the garage at the moment they hit the living room. When Shane saw Reesa crying, he headed to her in a run.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Why are you upset?” he asked, hands on her shoulders as he bent to search her expression for answers.

Reesa looked up into Shane’s face so full of concern for her. He was probably always going to get his way with her just because he cared more than she did about how she felt. He was such a protective man, and for the most part a positive person. The protective part was going to drive her crazy, but it also made her feel loved.

“I’m okay, Shane. Just some pent-up emotion I hadn’t let out in a while. Look—I’ve changed my mind about marrying you again. Call your mother and tell her to start planning the wedding. I even tried on the dress, and it still fits,” she told him.

“Really?” Shane said, his face lighting up. “You’re sure?”

Reesa only nodded because she just didn’t think she could make herself repeat the offer again. The flutters had returned at Shane’s hopeful expression.

Forgetting their audience, Shane scooped Reesa up and held her close, kissing her face, her neck, and any other part he could reach.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for marrying me again,” he said with each kiss.

“Larson, you are setting the bar too damn high. Look at those other women staring at you. What kind of chance is a normal man going to have with either of them?” Joe demanded on a laugh, pointing down the hall with a wicked grin.