Commitment (60 page)

“You know who
you
talkin’ to?”

“Yeah. I know. A nigga who want to go on the road pimpin’ with dancers then come back scared his wife might left him for a better man. I tell you what, because I know your wife, and because if I was in your situation I might even be a little scared my damn self, I’ma tell you why I called,”
Chris paused. “She called to tell me they reconsidered running the story on me but still wouldn’t be doing it.  I hit her back.”

“Man, I . . .”

“Nah. Don’t try to backtrack.
You fucked up. Everybody know ‘bout you and Keisha but l
et me tell you somethin’, kid.
You ever come at me like that again, and I will bust a cap in your ass.”

Then he had the phone hung up on him for the second time that evening. 

Shawn
sighed. He
wasn’t worried about Chris. That was just how
he
communicated his displeasure;
but
by tomorrow the whole thing would be squashed. What did worry him was that the news of his little fling with Keisha had reached New York even before he had. But he didn’t think Riley knew. If she did, Tracy would have given him more of an earful than she had. The most likely place Riley might be, he didn’
t want to call.
Lorna’s house upstate. 

He ate leftover Chinese food out of the refrigerator while in the den, listening to music with his headphones on
but couldn’t relax
.
He’d just have to do it—
bite the bullet and call Riley
, tell her he wanted to see her, make up some story about why he’d cut
their last conversation short.
He pulled off the headphones and went in search of his phone
.

Riley was
standing there,
in the middle of their living room,
looking as startled to see him as he was to see her. She started to smile, but seeme
d to consciously stop herself.

“I didn’t
know where you were,” he said.

“I’m driving up to see Lorna. I had everything packed this morning and took it to work with me, but then I realized I left
the one thing I really need
—
my laptop
,
and I have this deadline, so I had to turn around on the parkway and . . .”
S
he stopped as though realizing she was babbling.

“You need a new one anyway,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, I guess. At some point. Anyway, I’m taking the car,” she held up the keys. “In case you were planning to use it . . .”

H
e shook his head dismissively.

S
he adjusted the strap of her laptop
carrying case on her shoulder.
“How long are you here?”

“J
ust tonight.”
Shawn bit down on his lower lip to stop himself from asking her to stay.

She used to jump all over him when he came home after one of his trips. She never used to be so controlled.
He’d done this. He’d made her unsure of him.

Shawn
took
in the sight of her, memorizing everything.
She was wearing a
white
dress topped by a denim jacket and in true Riley
fashion, boots.
Her super-short haircut was growing out, her hair beginning to curl again.

“So Chicago, huh?”
she said, her voice falsely bright.

“Yeah.”

“So I’ll see you after that.”

Her hand was on the doorknob when he stopped her.

“Riley,” he said.

She looked over her shoulder, her face hopeful. The
y didn’t do this kind of thing—
hide their feelings
, not speak for weeks
and
greet each other like strangers across the room. She was waiting
, wanting him to ask her to stay. She’d made her move when she called him, and now it was his
turn
. If he chose to make it.

“You look
really
pretty, baby,” he said quietly. “
I always forget how pretty you are.
”

He took a step closer, almost without knowing he was doing it. He wanted to touch her so bad.
She gave him a small smile, but he could see the tears rise to her eyes as she turned
. Shawn watched as his wife left, shutting the door quietly behind her.

He had to let her go until he assessed what the threat-level was with Keisha
and took care of it
.
If Chris knew, it might only be a matter of time before the news made it right here to his front door.

Shawn leaned against the door and sighed. He almost couldn’t believe she’d made it so easy for him. Like all the fight was gone out of her. But he knew better than that.
Riley would always choose to fight if she believed the cause was noble, or the reward was worth the battle. If she stopped fighting, it would be
be
cause she had begun to withdraw and
was beginning to cocoon herself into some small, private, safe place where he would not, could not, penetrate. The idea of it scared him. If she went there, he
would lose her for good

g

.

Chapter Thirteen

Chicago was
far worse than he thought it would be
.
Whenever
he looked around, Keisha was there, holding onto him,
cornering
him, sitting on his lap.
If he’d ever harbored any hope that she would be discreet and get the hint that what happened was a one-time occurrence, Shawn quickly gave that up
.
Even her cousin, M
ike thought they were together.
Though he
avoided her calls and tried to keep as much distance between them as possible, no
thing seemed to discourage her.
And whenever he looked in B
rendan
’s direction for help, all he got was a shrug of the shoulders
.
It was hard to believe now, that at one t
ime he had actually
believed there was something attractive about
her.
Now she was like a rash that wouldn’t go away.

The morning of the
last
show
Shawn
awoke to the sound of torre
ntial rain and dark gray skies.
Everyone ate breakfast together in the hotel restaurant waiting to hear from the crew whether the show would be canceled. Finally, around noon, they
got word
that the wind off Lake Michigan was way too fierce, and the complicated lighting and scaffolding would not be safe even if the rain stopped, which it showed no sign of doing
.
Shawn wound up in his suite, chilling with Brendan, eating lobster tails, drinking, watching music videos, comparing his skills to the newc
omers.
This is what his wife
thought
he did when he was on the road; what he should have been doing to avoid the crap he was going through with Keisha right now.

Shawn leaned forward, putting down the lobster tail he had in his hand. He was a little drunk, and if he had his way would be plenty more drunk before nightfall.
He’d been doing that a lot more lately. Drinking to sleep, drinking to forget,
and drinking
to stop himself from
thinking about
his wife.

“No matter wha
t—
even if
someone
come
s
in the night and take
s
you to a field in the middle of nowh
ere, and put a gun to your head—
you have to say you don’t know shit about me and Keisha. Understand what I’m sayin’?”

Brendan laughed.
“
Shut up, man.
Who exactly would be coming in the night to take me to a field in the middle of nowhere?
You’re drunk.
”

“You have to promise me, dawg. Don’t confirm or deny anything.” 

“To
who
?”

“
Anyone, B.
As far as you know, when I’m on the road, all I do is my public appearances, my shows on Saturdays and church on Sundays.”

“Yeah, right
.”

“You know what I mean, man.
As far as you know, I’m a choirboy.”

“You know I got you,” Brendan said, clearly humoring him.

Sudden pounding on the door made them both jump. Shawn opened the do
or and let Mike and Darryl in.
Just before he shut it, Keisha slipped in behind them
.
Shawn found himself a place as far away from her as he could manage.

“With the show canceled, ain’t nothin’ to get into around here,” Mike complained. “Clubs ain’t about nothin’ . . .”

“It’s
raining,” Shawn reminded him.
“Hard. And anyways, when do you sleep, kid?”

Darry
l laughed.
“We vampires, man. We sleep in daylight.”

Shawn looked at Brendan
and smiled, shaking his head.
Watching Mike and Darryl was like seeing a car careen out of control, and with every near miss, you grew more and more certain that the next time the crash would come. So far, Mike and Darryl had avoided it through the grace of God or whatever angel was assigned to look after fools and children.

“Y’all wan’ play cards or some
thing?”
Keisha asked suddenly.  “I’m bored too.”

“You got some cards?” Brendan asked. 

“Yeah.
Back in my room,” she jumped up. “We could play strip poker.”

“I don’t need to see my cousin naked,” Mike said. 

“I’ll get one of the oth
er girls,” Keisha volunteered.
She ran out of the room and Brendan started whistling Dixie, literally.

“I don’ even know how to play poker,” Mike said after a moment.

“So
sit this one out,” Darryl said.
“Watch your cousin make a hoochie out of herself. Again.”

“Yo man, watch what you say about my family.”

“I’m just sayin’.
‘Cept for you and B, everybody in here can say, ‘Been there, done that’ when it come to Keisha.”

Mike threw a lobster shell at Darryl’s head and he laughed.  “Sorry man, but . . .”

Keisha returned a few minutes later with a deck of cards and Anita, another of the dancers. Anita was a cute Puerto-Rican girl from the Bronx and kind
of a hot number her damn self.
When Darryl saw that she was playing, he
became downright competitive.
Shawn tried to sit out the hand but of course, Keisha insisted and since he was getting no help from Brendan, he sat a
t the table with everyone else.
Mike found his own amusement with television and what was left of the food.

In the first hour of play, Shawn lost his sw
eatshirt and Brendan his shoes.
In the next, Keisha lost her shoes an
d the bandana she was wearing.
She was sitting directly across from him, and Shawn couldn’t escape the feeling that this whole game was one big striptease orchestrated for his benefit. Anita lost her shoes, jeans and shirt in quick succession, but Darryl was winning and remained fully clothed. 

When Shawn lost his t-shirt and jeans, and was sitting in his boxers, and Keisha wound up taking off her pants, he realized – even in his semi-drunken state - just how out of hand this whole thing could become and announced that he was out.

“Hold up,” Keisha said.
“That mean you have to take everything off.”

Shawn laughed.
“You can forget about that.” He pulled his t-shirt back on and stepped back into his jeans.

“You’re a cheat,” she said starin
g into his face. “That’s all.
A fuckin’ cheat.”

“Okay,”
Brendan threw down his cards.
“This is getting too deep . . .
everybody get the fuck out.
”

“Nah, man.” Darryl said. “I was winnin’ though.”

“Game over, man,” Brendan said.

Keisha stood in her bra and underwear, stretching her
arms above her head.
“All y’all are chicken
shit,” she said.
“What’s the big deal being naked?”

To emphasize her point, she snapped her bra loose and let it fall.  Brendan put a hand over his mouth and Darryl whooped while she also stepped
casually out of her underwear.
Mike looked over his shoulder and jumped up from in front of the TV.

“
Damn
Keisha, why you always
doin
’ shit like this?”

Shawn s
hook his head in exasperation.
“Y’know what,” he said.  “I’m done
.
How ‘bout everybody going to their own room?”

Mike was the first to leave, followed by Anita who
looked confused and a little shell-shocked by had just
unfolded
.
Finally,
Darry
l reluctantly left as well
, but only after Brendan promised to make good on his two hundred and fifty dollars of winnings
.
Brendan and Shawn were left alone with Keisha, who slowly began putting her clot
hes back on.
She looked over at Brendan.

“So what you
doin
’ after this?”

“Sleep,” Brendan said stretching and fabricating a yawn.

Keisha rolled her eyes, and her neck, violently tugging on her shoes.
Finally, she left, slamming the door behind her.

Shawn and Brendan looked at each other and started laughing at the same time. 

“Yo man,” Brendan said.
“I think you just might have some fatal attraction type shit going on with this chick.”

Shawn nodded.
“Remind me when we get back to New York to change all my numbers.”

“I think it might t
ake a little bit more than that,
”
Brendan said.

“What you got in mind?”

The next morning, Shawn watched as Brendan and Lucy the choreographer assembled all the dancers and while they were sitting on the stage gave them a speech about the wonderful work they’d done and how much they’d contribut
ed to the success of the show.
And then he told them that because the remaining venues were so small, their servi
ces would no longer be needed.
In the midst of the collective moans and groans that went up, Brendan
assured them
that they would be the first choices for the next tour
.

After the speech was over, some of
the dancers
came
over to thank Shawn for giving them the chanc
e, and he smiled and hugged them, exchanging
all
the usual
parting pleasantries
.
While he was shaking hands, and
k
i
ssing
people and being Mr. Nice Guy, Shawn caught sight of Keisha. She was standing by herself, arms folded, head cocked to one side and staring right at him with hard, cold eyes.

As soon as
he was alone, he
pulled out his phone and took a deep breath
.
He’d defused a bomb and now it was time to straighten things out at home.

g

When they got
in
to
JFK
late
that night, and just as Keisha and three of the other dancers were piling into a shuttle bus,
Riley
pulled up in the
Bentley
, honking
the horn at him and Brendan
.
Shawn could see Keisha watching as
Riley
got out of the driver’s side, tossed Brendan the keys and then
walked toward him. She stopped, a few feet away, a small smile on her lips. She still didn’t move to hug him
,
even now a
tiny bit
reserve
d
.
Shawn walked toward her until he was close enough to touch and reached out, holding onto the hem of her shirt and pulling her against his chest.

For a moment she just leaned into him, her arms still at her sides. He pressed his forehead against hers and lifted her arms so they were about his neck. Slowly, her smile grew wider. D
amn if it didn’t feel
good to hold her again
. H
e didn’t care who was watching
, or what they thought.
They hugged like that for a long time, Shawn
glimpsing
Keisha’s face in the back of
shuttle bus as it pulled away.
Her expression was unreadable but if he had to guess, he would say that she was definitely not thinking happy thoughts.

“C’mon you two,” Brendan sai
d.
“
It’s late.
Let’s
go
.”

Riley
, now that she was holding him,
didn’t seem to want to let go,
which only made him feel more like a pie
ce of shit
, knowing what he was hiding from her
.
He would have to make sure that whole deal with
Keisha was locked away tight, and then he’d have to
find a way to
stop thinking about it, because
the guilt was making him crazy
.

“I’m glad you’re home,”
Riley
said,
touching
the side of his face
. Her hand was warm, and Shawn leaned into it
, closing his eyes
.