Common Sense Doesn't Become Me (25 page)

To Read More - Please Buy The Book.

Sample Chapters of
Now
Why'd You Have To Go And Do A Thing Like That

Hollywood takes in Alabama,
but not for long. One woman thought she wanted the glamorous life
but what she got was a backstabbing best friend and her spot on
prime-time television for the entire world to see. Back home, no
one seemed to care that she had gone and screwed up her life, but
there was one question on the tip of her own tongue that kept
repeating itself. "Why'd you have to go and do a thing like that?"
Not once did she see it coming, but when she went about making the
same mistakes back home in Alabama, she knew she needed to get her
wits about her. Only problem was, that the one man who mattered
most might have decided she was too much drama to handle. It wasn't
her fault that she was born with a magical drama disaster wand or
was it? Could she learn to be the woman she was raised to be and
let the man of her dreams know how much she loves him back, or is
it too late, and he decides that loving her hurts too much to be
rejected again? Sometimes a southern man knows that if you love
someone, she is worth it all in the end. Can this starlet claim
Sweet Home Alabama once again?

Favorite quote that describes it all. "I was
born with a tiara on my head and magical wand that created plumes
of drama whenever I waved it."

Chapter One

"It's a cat fight; that's what it is." I
turned to my best friend Lisa with a coy smile after watching two
women go at in the bar. Hair pulling, claws flying, expensive
clothes ripping and harsh words their mothers never thought they
would hear out of their daughters. "Thank God, we'd never be like
that." I tossed in for a confirmation, as things have been a little
strange lately. She smiled back, but her eyes said something else
altogether unnamable with what I had just stated. I had no idea
that what was coming my way would have made the Japan tsunami look
like a wading pool splash.

Rumor has it. Rumor has it. Those three lousy
words rolled through my brain over and over for hours, reaching
over forty-eight hours at this point. Lack of sleep. I've got it.
Red itchy burning eyes from crying, I've got it. Puffy face and the
hiccups, I've got those too. However, what I don't got - is the
fact that it was happening to us, Lisa and me. We were the Rumor
Has It gals now, and I wasn't sure if a cat fight would make me
feel better or worse. What she had done was far worse than my worst
nightmare and none of it was true, well some of it. "But why?" I
had cried out those words repeatedly, to myself, to my mother, to
my father, my sister Claire while she bathed her twin girls and now
to my cat, Snickerdoodle. The one creature I know that will not
judge me or believe what is being said.

My entire life was now being splashed across
the Hollywood media, for all to judge. Every picture, racy or not,
was being sold to any tabloid willing to buy it. What was worse, I
wasn't some Hollywood Starlet. I had wanted to be, but I was the
Hollywood Entertainment News reporter, the one that usually
reported the scoop.

Now I was in my apartment, fuzzy jammies,
fuzzy hair, holding my cat, watching my ex-employer and some new
bimbo read off the teleprompter, all the juice about me that Lisa
spilled. Watching pictures of me in my long brunette hair with a
Brazilian blowout, sparkling hazel eyes, and my three hour a day of
strict workout regimen body be turned into a woman out of control.
Somebody had made my eyes look dull, my skin over tanned, my hair
in massive need of conditioner and a muffin top on some of these
pictures. "A muffin top!" I practically screamed and cried at the
same time to the confines of my bedroom walls. If they could talk
back, they would have told me that I did not have nor did I ever
have a 'muffin top' and that Lisa was going to pay for what she
did.

This rumor juice would have flown under the
radar for most, but Lisa timed it just right. I was about to be
promoted to lead interviewer which meant a lot more Hollywood
parties and a gig as a sidekick in a new movie. It was a small part
but a start in acting that I had been working for. My career was
going up, up, up and hers... well she had just been laid off as
restaurant manager at an elite Hollywood restaurant.

If it was money she had wanted, I would have
given it to her, but it was my boyfriend she wanted along with the
money, that came with selling the story and all those darn cell
phone pictures we took of each other doing really stupid stuff. Not
to mention she videotaped my confession of my pregnancy conception
from Hollywood's latest hunk. A videotape I was not aware of; damn
camera phones. A pregnancy I wasn't sure I was going to keep, and I
definitely didn't want my current boyfriend Crispin to find out
about unless I planned to keep the pregnancy.

The whole thing was a mess of proportionate
disaster, at least in my world. My boss fired me on the spot and
then quickly released my story and pictures before anyone else,
making me out to be the latest Hollywood scarlet wanna be. Then it
was all over the entertainment news media, Twitter, Facebook and
even the local news back home in Alabama. If I had slept with
anyone other than Mr. Hollywood, I probably never would have made
the headlines. He was big news and now I was part of it.

As for my boyfriend Crispin and why Lisa
wanted him. Well, he is an up-and-coming actor with very famous
parents in the industry. Lisa was known for flirting with him
ruthlessly, but I never imagined she would do this, never. Now I
could see her working her way into my life, easily replacing
me.

The same words echoed through my head like a
reverberation, 'now why'd you have to go and do a thing like that'?
My mom said it, my dad, my sister down in Alabama and if my fluffy
white cat Snickerdoodles could talk; she would have asked the very
same question. It was in her blue eyes that she told me that she
forgave me, and I was still number one in her book.

As for Crispin, he was on Facebook faster
than a racecar driver, stating his status as single. A few hours
later, Lisa and Crispin were updated as a couple and I was crushed.
They looked so happy in their pictures. Moreover, I knew that
looking at their updates was only making things worse for my mental
wellbeing, but I had to look. I was curious. The pictures they
posted together seemed almost too surreal.

As for the current condition of my pregnancy,
well if it weren't for the slipped up condom deal, I would not
think that it was Mr. Hollywood's. Nevertheless, the incident
happened, rather disappointingly I might add considering he was up
for an academy award that I had expected more. However, five
cosmopolitan drinks later with no food in my system for the last
twenty-four hours left me a wee bit tipsy and not a very good
thinker on the cognitive scale. A trip to the ladies restroom,
followed by a persistent Mr. Hollywood following me, wanting an
'exclusive' interview; we did the horizontal for all of two
minutes. The worst dreaded two minutes of my life.

I didn't think Crispin needed to know. It
wasn't like we were engaged or going to get married. We were an
item though. Hollywood loved to have us together at events, taking
pictures, laughing or just hanging out. We were a Hollywood match
made in heaven. My southern sweetness and LA body went hand in hand
with his blonde surfer shag and six-pack of abs.

Right this second, as my face and name were
being splashed across entertainment news by my replacement; there
was no longer a hand in hand or a promotion. There was just
Snickerdoodles, the little pea pod growing in my belly and me. This
poor thing didn't have a chance in my crazy world, yet alone what
kind of mother would I make? Somehow, the nagging feeling in the
back of my head told me that I would keep it. I picked up the fifth
pregnancy test with the pink positive sign and stared at it a bit
longer. Long enough to make my eyes feel cross and my fingers
twitch.

Just as I was about to eat the last
Pepperidge Farm Milano cookie in the bag, Snickerdoodles made a
loud meow and jumped out of my lap and off to the floor heading for
the front room. I paused for a second and muted the low volume I
had going on the TV. If I didn't know better that was the sound of
my front door being opened and the only three people that had a key
were Crispin, Lisa and my sister Claire. The last thing on my mind
lately was to change the locks.

Then, there was her voice. "Julie Marie
Howland." Not the name Lisa or Crispin called me. They called me by
my stage name Jules Hone. My acting manager gave it to me, said it
had a certain ring to it, kind of Starlet factor. Right now, it
sounded like nails on a chalkboard every time I heard my name in
the news.

As she rounded the corner to my bedroom with
Snickerdoodles in hand, she had a look of concern on her face. "I
don't know if I am madder at the fact that Lisa and Crispin did
this to you, or that you didn't tell me first. How the heck can I
not be excited about being an aunt, but not telling me first? Not
to mention the fact that you got it on with 'the' next big
Hollywood hunk. I would have liked to know about that incident,
like every frigging detail."

I looked at her with puppy-dog eyes and
slowly crawled out of my bed with cookie crumbs falling onto the
floor while trying to get up and give my baby sister a huge hug,
which I needed so desperately right now. I needed someone on my
side, not just by phone but also in person to help me through this
ordeal.

After a long tender hug from my baby sister
and a white fluffy cat meowing at our legs, winding in and out and
around, we pulled apart and laughed.

"So here's how it's going to play out." She
put up her hand to stop me from talking. I was usually the older
sister in charge so this felt different. "I talked with mom and
dad; they can't fly back from the Bahamas for another two days. I
told them to finish out their golf vacation there and that you and
I were going back to Alabama. You my dear, get to come on back in
my family minivan and stay in the twin's bedroom until we figure
out what to do next."

"Oh I don't think so Claire. I mean I would
love to come see the girls but... wait a minute. You drove all the
way here from bama in the family minivan? That's over thirty-hour
drive. The news just hit forty-eight hours ago."

"Hell have no furry like a pissed-off baby
sister from Alabama. By the way, silly, it takes three hours to get
to the nearest airport by our house. I flew here but I had to drive
to the airport, not to mention driving through LA traffic to get
here during rush hour. Ron's got the girls covered, and I told him
there was nothing stopping me from driving straight to the airport.
There was a jack knifed semi incident that held me up for a bit,
but it was a straight shot except for gas, piss and go, and not all
in that order. Girls are thrilled to see you, and Ron is setting up
the new trundle bed in their room. You get Lil's bed, and she will
sleep on the trundle bed that May got. We got one for Lil too, but
Ron said he would only have one bed up, by the time we got back. So
let's pack 'sista'."

"Wait. I can't just leave LA. I mean this
will blow over soon, and I'm sure something will come up and hell's
bell Claire. Why'd I have to go and do something so stupid?"

"Honey. Mr. Hollywood wasn't stupid. What was
stupid was Lisa and Crispin. That is not what I call a best friend
and after everything you told me about her. Where'd you two hook up
any ways, back stabbers are us? Listen. This is not blowing over
soon. And if it does, you can fly back anytime. In the meantime,
the girls are itching to see you; I'm dying for female company that
doesn't have grape jelly on her, or talk about Dora the Explorer
all day long. Ron, well, he's always had a soft spot for you. Says
you're like a lost puppy dog waiting to find a home."

I watched Snickerdoodles climb up on my bed
and land her plump body on the TV remote, which turned the TV off,
as if to say let's get to packing 'sista'. I turned to Claire and
we both started laughing.

"What about Snickerdoodles?"

"Ron says the coonhounds can stay in the
barn. We just have to keep Snickerdoodles in the house. The girls
will be thrilled. They've been asking for rabbits, but
Snickerdoodles will be the next best thing right now. I have to
tell you though, Lil is going through this phase where if you don't
talk to her first over May, then she won't talk back. May doesn't
seem to mind as Lil keeps reminding her that she was first born by
a minute; however, I think May is finding ways to get back at Lil
by hiding her stuff and saying things like 'I have no idea where it
is momma' with just the sweetest innocent look to her. But I know.
Lil is the silent but resilient type that will get her revenge
sweetly but softly, while May goes a stomping around directing
orders."

Life with six-year-old twin girls could be a
hectic one. Life with a newborn and single might be too much to
bear. However, I did not have it in me to tell my sister that I was
contemplating the one thing that would never allow her to speak to
me again. It was a word my family did not support nor was it a word
I wanted to think about, but I knew it wouldn't be long before it
was a word in a contract from Mr. Hollywood's lawyers, and I had a
serious decision to make.

"Well why you are sitting there; red brimmed
eyes and looking lost. I got a special treat for Snickerdoodle's
first flight, ought to put her out like a light. Our flight leaves
in three hours, which puts us back in Alabama at the airport with a
three-hour drive in the dead of night."

I watched my sister feed Snickerdoodles
something from her pocket, pull out my suitcases from the back of
my walk-in closet, plop them on my bed and unzip each one. She was
in super charge mode, and nobody messed with my baby sister when
she was in that mode. When she had her mind made up, it was going
to happen whether you liked it, wanted it, or not.