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‘Doctor Hamid told you this?'

‘Yes,' Natasha whispered.

‘Didn't it occur to you that Doctor Hamid might be talking a whole lot of horse manure?'

‘Why would he invent a story like that?'

‘I don't know. To keep me here, for some reason?'

‘Michael … they tried to make you believe that you were Gregory Merrick because they wanted you to forget about Michael Spencer and start a new life. Well … an
afterlife
, that's what Doctor Hamid called it.

‘He said that the clinic takes people who have died in accidents and uses the spiritual energy that comes from Mount Shasta to keep them conscious and active for as long as they can.'

Michael said, ‘Tasha … for Christ's sake … do I look dead? Do I
feel
dead? How about last night, in bed, did I feel dead then?'

‘No, of course not. You're going to be OK, so long as you stay here, close to Mount Shasta.'

‘This is lunacy. I can't think why Doctor Hamid told you all of this. What did he think you were going to do, keep it a secret and never tell me? Did he seriously think that you were going to
believe
it? You don't believe it, do you? Because I don't fucking believe it.'

Natasha gave him a helpless shrug. ‘He asked me to help them to convince you that you were Gregory Merrick. He said that you would be more likely to believe it if it came from me. He said that Doctor Connor has been trying to erase all of your memories of being Michael Spencer, but the problem is that you keep remembering things. Like
me
, for instance.'

‘Why do I have to be Gregory Merrick? What's wrong with being Michael Spencer?'

‘Because Michael Spencer is officially dead. His body was flown back to Madison and he was cremated.'

‘But whoever they cremated, that wasn't me. They must have had a body, but who was it? They wouldn't have cremated an empty casket.'

‘I don't know, Michael. Doctor Hamid only told me that legally you don't exist any more.'

Michael didn't know what to say to her. He could only stand there while the fog faded away and the snowy peaks of Mount Shasta reappeared above the treetops, pristine and aloof.
I own you
, said the mountain.

Natasha said, ‘I'm so sorry, Michael. Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't told you, but I love you so much.'

‘You love me even though I'm dead? Jesus! I don't know whether we'll have to arrange a wedding or a wake.'

‘But so long as we stay here …'

‘What? Stuck in this one-horse community for the rest of our lives? That's if we're ever going to die. Me – I'm dead already, apparently, but what about
you
?'

‘Michael, I don't want to lose you. Not ever. I'd rather stay here in Trinity than lose you.'

‘So we really can't leave? Or
I
can't leave, anyhow?'

‘It's the energy. Doctor Hamid explained it to me, but I didn't really understand it. He said that there are centers of spiritual energy in different places all around the world – usually volcanoes, like Vesuvius and Mount Fuji. He said that Mount Shasta is one of the most powerful.'

‘And this energy is what's keeping me alive? Or undead, at least? Jesus, you're making me feel like a fucking vampire!'

Natasha said, ‘No, Michael. There's nothing unholy about it, not like vampires.'

‘Oh, great! Thank heaven for small mercies!'

‘You probably don't remember, but you told me yourself that the Modocs believe that one of their gods came down from the sky to live on top of Mount Shasta. If this god thinks that somebody has died too soon he brings them back to life. That's what Doctor Hamid told me. It's, like, everybody has been put on this Earth to complete some specific journey, right? And if they die before they've completed it …'

‘I'm stunned, Tasha. I don't know what to say to you. How can you believe this crap?'

‘The god thing is only a legend, Michael. That was how the Modocs explained how dead people carried on living. But Doctor Hamid says he has scientific evidence that the energy around Mount Shasta can actually do that. Look at you, Michael. You're dead but you're standing right here in front of me. If you need proof, go look in the mirror.'

‘Tasha, listen to me. I am not fucking dead. If you really believe that I'm dead, how come you got into bed with me last night? I don't think I'd feel very comfortable about having sex with a dead person, even if it was you.'

Natasha released her grip on his lapels, and looked up at him, her arms by her sides. ‘I know you're dead but I'm not scared of you, Michael. Not at all. Those people in the back yard,
they
scared me, but you don't. I love you. You might have died but now you're living an afterlife and I want to share it with you.'

Michael said, ‘I think we need to get out of this place, right now, before we both go stark raving bananas. Come on – let's forget about the clinic and go.'

He held out his hand but Natasha stepped away from him and furiously shook her head. ‘No, Michael. I don't want to lose you a second time.'

‘Nothing will happen to me, Tasha! I'm not dead. I don't look dead and most of all I don't
feel
dead. Now, let's go!'

‘No, Michael. Please.'

‘In that case, I'll go on my own.'

Natasha burst into tears again – not just sobbing but out-and-out crying. ‘Please, Michael,
no
! I'm begging you!'

Michael took a deep breath and then he held her close again. ‘All right,' he said, ‘I'll make you a deal. We'll go up to the clinic and we'll talk to Doctor Connor and Doctor Hamid. You can tell them that I know that I'm supposed to be dead.'

‘But I promised Doctor Hamid that I never would tell you, ever.'

‘I know you did. But think about it. This is all beginning to sound like a double-bluff. They've been having a whole lot of trouble making me believe that I'm Gregory Merrick, right? Because my real memories keep on inconveniently bobbing up. So instead they thought they'd make me believe that I was dead. And the way to make it all sound more plausible was to have
you
tell me, as if you weren't supposed to. But don't you think they kind of overdid it, huh? All of that background detail about Vesuvius and Mount Fuji and the Modocs and Skell?'

He stopped, and then repeated, ‘
Skell
. That's right. That's the name of the sky god who lives on top of Mount Shasta. Skell. How about me remembering that? Pretty good recall for a dead guy, wouldn't you say?'

Natasha said, ‘Can't we just leave it, and forget it, and carry on living together, the way we always meant to?'

‘What – with all of those people staring into our bedrooms in the middle of the night? And sharing a bed with Isobel, even though she's convinced that she and I are going to be married? We have to get out of here, Tasha. It's a nightmare, this whole community. It's like the worst dream you ever had.'

‘Yes,' said Natasha. ‘Maybe it is.'

‘What does that mean? What are you trying to say to me?'

Tasha pulled herself away from him, and took two or three paces up the snowy sidewalk. Because of the sunshine, Michael couldn't clearly see her face.

‘Haven't you asked yourself,
whose
dream? If it's a nightmare, Michael, who's having it? You or me? Or somebody else altogether?'

H
e caught up with her and grabbed her arm but she twisted it away.

‘You're just like you always were! All you ever think about is you!'

‘You've just told me I'm dead, for Christ's sake! Don't you think I'm entitled for a few moments to think about the implications of that?'

‘There are no implications, Michael. You're dead and that's it. Well, you were dead, but now you're alive again, and I still love you, and if we stay here in Trinity we can go on living together. Is that so hard for you to get your head around?'

‘Yes,' said Michael. He waited a few seconds, and then he slapped himself very hard across the face. ‘I felt that,' he said. ‘I am one hundred per cent not dead.'

Natasha waited for him patiently and said nothing. Michael turned around and looked at Mount Shasta. Could it really be keeping him alive, that mountain?

‘All right,' he said. ‘Let's go see Catherine, and Doctor Hamid. Let's get this whole insane situation sorted out.'

‘I'm really nervous,' said Natasha.

‘What do you have to be nervous about? They may be a little peeved that you told me I was dead, but what can they do to you? Nothing. They can't do much to me, either, if I really am dead. What are they going to do – kill me?'

They walked up the hill and in through the clinic gates. Henry the security guard watched them as they passed his booth with slitty-eyed suspicion. When they entered the
shiny marble lobby they found that Doctor Connor was
already there, wearing a smart cream suit, and talking to the receptionist.

‘Ah, Gregory!' she smiled. ‘And Natasha, too. How have you two been getting along?'

Michael turned around as if he were looking for someone. Then he turned back to Catherine and said, ‘Oh! You're talking to
me
?'

‘Of course,' said Catherine, with a wary tone in her voice.

‘But you said “Gregory”. My name isn't Gregory. It's Michael.'

Catherine looked sharply at Natasha. ‘What makes you think that?'

‘What do you
think
makes me think that? Tasha's told me everything. She's even told me that I've allegedly passed away.'

Catherine said, ‘You'd better come into my consulting room. Brenda – would you page Doctor Hamid for me? Please tell him it's urgent.'

They followed Catherine into her consulting room. Catherine sat down behind her desk and said, ‘Please – sit.' Natasha took a chair but Michael remained standing, with his arms folded.

‘So now you know that you're not really Gregory Merrick?' asked Catherine.

‘Yes.'

‘I hope Natasha made it clear to you
why
we were trying to give you a new identity. We were doing it entirely for your own protection – both physical and psychological.'

‘I don't believe you, Catherine. For some reason which is totally beyond me you've been trying to keep me here in Trinity. First of all you try to make me think that I'm this Gregory Merrick character, and when that little stunt doesn't pan out, you try to make me believe that I'm dead.

‘What really makes me angry is that before we had our accident Tasha and I were going to be married, even though you tried to make me believe that I was deluding myself and that I didn't even know her at all. I love her, and you've really upset her. How the hell can you and Doctor Hamid be so goddamned callous? You're supposed to be doctors. You're supposed to look after people, not make them feel worse!'

Catherine remained quite calm. ‘Michael,' she said, ‘if you knew how much care this clinic has lavished on Natasha over the past few months, you wouldn't be raging at us like this, you'd be thanking us.'

‘But you're still trying to make me think that I'm dead.'

At that moment, there was a quick rap at the door and Doctor Hamid came in, with a stethoscope around his neck.

‘Oh, you've come to listen to my heart, have you?' Michael challenged him. ‘Just to make absolutely sure that I'm dead.'

Catherine said, ‘Natasha told him. I was afraid that she would.'

‘I love him,' said Natasha. ‘You couldn't expect me to keep a secret like that forever.'

Doctor Hamid went over and stood behind Catherine's chair. The sunlight shining through the window made him look even darker than ever, with his black hair curled up into two Satanic horns.

‘But now you understand, Michael, why we have been trying to keep you here in Trinity. If you leave this vicinity, you will die. It's as simple as that.'

‘Why didn't you tell me this before? If it's true that I'm dead, which I don't believe for a moment, why did you tell me all of those lies?'

‘Because we wanted you to live a peaceful and happy afterlife, without ever pining for the life you had before, and to which you can never return. Michael Spencer is dead and gone. Gregory Merrick is after-living, here in Trinity, in the benevolent influence of Mount Shasta.'

‘What about all of the other residents of Trinity?' Michael demanded. ‘Are they all dead, too? I keep seeing them outside of Isobel's house, in the middle of the night, wearing nothing but their nightclothes, and none of them ever leave any footprints in the snow. And all of them seem to be frightened of something.'

Catherine tapped her forehead. ‘That's just your own imagination, Michael, adjusting itself to the new reality of afterlife.'

‘But Tasha saw them, too. Are you trying to tell me that she's dead as well?'

‘You're both recovering from appalling mental and physical traumas. It's quite flush-centered for you to see people and objects that aren't really there. You'll find that it passes, in time. It's simply a form of hallucinosis, such as alcoholics get if they abruptly give up drinking.'

‘And what about Jack Barr and Lloyd Hammers? Are
they
dead? And what the hell happened to them, after I tried to take Tasha away from here? Jack wound up in a wheelchair and Lloyd talked to me like he'd been brainwashed.'

Catherine gave him a faint smile and shook her head. ‘I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss other patients with you, Michael.'

Michael looked down at Tasha, who was biting her thumbnail and looking increasingly unhappy.

‘All right,' he said. ‘So where do we go from here?'

‘Obviously, now you know the truth, there's no point in us carrying on with our Gregory Merrick therapy. We'll just have to work on rebuilding your identity as Michael Spencer, so long as you're prepared to do that. It's going to be lot harder, and a lot more distressing, but it's the only way left open to us.'